"Budget Office. This is Laura."
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
MSU Merillat, this is Becky.
Ni!
Posted by maui babe (Member # 1894) on :
"Department of Health, Disease Investigation. This is maui babe."
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Used to be:
"Thank you for choosing America Online! My name is Nathan, are you calling to set up your FREE trial of America Online?! HUH?! WELL ARE YOU!?!? YOU BETTER BE!!!"
Posted by Tstorm (Member # 1871) on :
"Thank you for calling ------- ----, this is ---. How can I help you?"
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
"M Division Office, Stanislawski. How may I help you Sir or Ma'am?"
or if there is equipment noise in the background:
"Stan."
Or if I get handed the phone and it is Cory:
"Hi honey."
(Cory and I try to keep a joking atmosphere on the phone lines with each other. This is because both of us are unmatched for time spent onboard the ship doing actual work. Last we checked I am winning the race.)
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I usually just roll with "This is Mike."
Many of the other engineers I've worked with answer with just their names, either first and last or just last. My last name is too long for that to be convenient, though.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
When I worked it was "This is Adrian" because I didn't take calls directly from the public - the calls were routed to me through the receptionist, so they had already heard the "Good Afternoon, thank you for calling _____ how may I direct your call?" spiel.
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
"IBM operations, this is Jud."
Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
"Counseling Psychology"
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Work? What is this "work" you speak of? Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
"Sacajawea Gallery, this is Morgan."
Or, every once in a while if my brain is fried, I revert to old jobs: "Thank you for calling Giggles Toys and More, this is Anneke, how can I help you?"
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
Well, the first time I answered at my last phone-answering job, it was "Trim Tre..., uh, Harvard Trim...Indus... *sharp breath in followed by panicked, pathetic sounding* ...Hullo?"
After that, I usually got it right. "Harvard Industries, Trim Trends division, how may I direct your call?"
Now, my only job is in a lab without a telephone. And I love it that way.
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
Aren't these much more fun than the typical, "Hello?" you probably say at home?
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
I'd have to say no. I like the phone at home because I generally don't have to answer it, because no one has my number.
I've never liked telephones.
Posted by babager (Member # 6700) on :
USDA, this is Chris
Posted by Portabello (Member # 7710) on :
"Firstname Lastname"
Posted by CalvinMaker (Member # 2032) on :
"Whaddyou want?"
Or at least I wish I could answer it that way.
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
My home phone is rarely answered with "hello".
It's usually "What's up?" or something along that line. The only people that call me are people I know. Besides, I make more outgoing calls than receive calls. My family recognizes my voice right away.
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
Heh, the one thing I've decided job wise for myself is I do not want a phone job... I just... hate phones for some reason.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
"This pizza is 45 minutes late."
Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
"For whom does this bell toll?"
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
Astaril, yours is quite a tongue twister. "Trim Trends..." That kind of thing takes practice.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
"Thanks for calling the computer shop, yes we can get that part. Unfortunately, due to the fact that my boss procrastinates more than any person on earth, it won't be ordered until the next time the planets line up...Yes sir, all of them...Well, there may be a chance it can get order by the next Lunar Eclipse in North America, but you'll have to pay extra...Yes sir, Walmart does sell those...Have a nice day, sir." [/slightly veiled rant]
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
Hester - see, that's what I tried to tell my boss...
Another time, working at a grocery store, I misunderstood a lady who was calling and thus used the intercom to page the floor cleaning machine to the office to take a phone call. That was a good one that no one forgot in a hurry... Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
"(My department), this is (my first name)." Simple and boring. It's enough of a battle for me to say that much. Considering I'm a telephonophobe, they're lucky I don't just get up and walk away when the damned thing rings.
And I don't answer my home phone. My answering machine answers it. If it's someone I want to talk to, I'll pick up.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
Well, I'm a TA with no office, so I never get phone calls, but I'm posting on this thread because one of my roommate's had a funny one last summer:
"It's great to be at Curves! How may I help you?" Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :
"Thank you for calling The Roost, this is Jeff speaking. How may I help you?"
Posted by narrativium (Member # 3230) on :
This reminds me of Office Space.
"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. [click] Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. [click] Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. . ."
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
In high school, I worked at a McDonald's. Answering the phone was boring, just, "McDonald's." But the drive thru...
One guy would say things like, "Welcome to McDonald's, where every evening is a lovely evening! May I take your order?" And then he'd give people change in McCents. "Twenty McCents is your change, sir."
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
Heh heh. That reminds me of a friend of mine who worked at McDonalds back in high school. He used to like saying things like, "Thank you for not choosing Taco Bell, can I take your order?"
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
Combustion.
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
Verily
Posted by Coccinelle (Member # 5832) on :
Thomas Jefferson High School, Family & Consumer Sciences.
I dread answering the phone. But it's rare for it to ring at work. (maybe once a day)
Posted by Risuena (Member # 2924) on :
With me it's not so much the words I use to answer the phone, but rather the voice. For some reason when I answer the phone, my voice tends to be lower and softer. Rather husky actually - kind of like a phone sex operator (or so I've been told). It probably doesn't help that I tend to say, "Hi, this is Alexis, how may I help you?" either.
Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :
Phone: Ring....Ring
LD: Hello?
Posted by MattB (Member # 1116) on :
quote:"For whom does this bell toll?"
That's from an Anastasia Krumpnik book.
I'm astonished I remember that.
Used to be "Reference, this is Matt."
Now it isn't anything, because I've reverted to unemployed student status.
Posted by J T Stryker (Member # 6300) on :
"Hello"
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
"Hello, <name of school>."
"No, this is not <name of other person in the office, who I apparently sound like on the phone>, it's Mrs. <lastname>. How can I help you?"
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Blood's Morgue. You stab 'em, we slab em.
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Posted by Vána (Member # 6593) on :
If I'm at my own desk, I say, "Hello, this is Julie, can I help you?" Then they usually say, "Is this Julie?" or "Oh, I was looking for Miriam." *sigh*
If I'm at the front desk, it's, "YWCA Child Care Solutions. How can I direct your call?" Then they tell me their life story, and I say, "Let me transfer you to your case manager." *sigh*
Social services. *shakes head*
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
"(name of University) Safety and Security, How may I help you?"
Used to be "(name of University) Safety and Security , this is officer 17 speaking, may I help you?"
But our new boss changed all that. Woo!
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
My boss says Shalom, even though she's not Jewish either. I don't feel quite comfortable saying that, so I just say "This is Trisha" in a medium to high to low to medium tone pattern.
Posted by Tater (Member # 7035) on :
quote:Considering I'm a telephonophobe, they're lucky I don't just get up and walk away when the damned thing rings.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
"Oakwood commons, Security, how can I help you?"
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
Messenger newsroom, Carol speaking.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"This is Tom."
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
"It's a great day at Petland, this is Jane"
When I used to work for a dog kennel called Shanon's Happy Acres, I answered the phone "Shanon's, how may I help you?" but once when I saw my mom's number on the caller ID I answered with "Shanon's House of Pain, how may we hurt you?"
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
"Aloha, this is the Kilauea Point National Wildlife Refuge, Jeremy speaking. How can I help you?"
It can actually get quite musical, since I'm usually bored enough that I feel I have to alternate the pitches and intonation of what I'm saying. *grin*
Heh. It beats my old job in Seattle where I'd be the one calling the customers to annoy them with new deals on used guitars.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
"Dr. [Name]'s lab."
The calls I get on my home phone always seem to happen when I'm asleep, so it usually goes, "H'lo?"
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
MSF-TGA, slucham.
When I get bored,
MSF-TGA dzien dobry
when I get bored
Dzien dobry, MSF TGA
when I know it's from portugal
MSF-TGA Bom dia
When I know this is from the English guy's wife
Hello?
when it's an internal number
yeah? or what? or get lost.
when it's from the boss
Hi Sergio, this is Kamila.
Posted by HesterGray (Member # 7384) on :
quote: "It's a great day at Petland, this is Jane"
I like that one. Posted by imenimok (Member # 7679) on :
I have a thing against scripting. Even when my job "requires" it, I strip it down. For one thing, I think it's obvious and phony to use scripting, and for another, if I'm calling a place of business, I obviously have a reason, and I don't want to sit through a spiel before I even get to talk.
</rant>
Only about three people ever call me, so I just say "This is ____"
Posted by xnera (Member # 187) on :
I have almost always used "[company name], this is Karen." I hardly ever get phone calls at my current job, so this works well.
*thinks* I can't remember how I answered when I worked at the copyshop, where I dealt with the public much more often. It might have been "Thanks for calling [shopname], this is Karen, how can I help you?" But I'm not sure.
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
"Evaluations, Airman Nebeker"
That's the way I'm supposed to do it. But, mostly I jumble the words so badly to intentionally throw the person off. That way they don't have my name when I tell them they jumped the chain of command. If they really want my name, they'll ask for it later in the conversation, I'm not into giving people more information than they need.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
"Sbandonate ogni speranza o voi che mi parlate."
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
I can make up words too, Scott.
[ April 14, 2005, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: scottneb ]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Since I work from home: "hello?"
When I worked in the office, I'd change it to this: "Hello?"
And in my previous job I would sometimes switch it up and answer: "Hello!"
I'm not one to work in the customer service arena...
Hobbes Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
quote:That's from an Anastasia Krumpnik book.
I'm astonished I remember that.
And I'm impressed!
I think Zotto's is the funniest, though. Sometimes we'd answer with Aloha at the florist, just to be funny.
Posted by starlooker (Member # 7495) on :
Ooh! I remember the Anastasia reference, too. I've always wanted to do that.
In the mornings, "Student Financial Aid, this is Kirsten, may I help you?"
In the afternoons, I generally don't have to identify my place of internship because all calls are screened through the receptionist, so I just say, "Hello, this is Kirsten."
And I'm with the telephonophobes. Until this past year, I had HUGE, HUGE, HUGE amounts of telephone anxiety. Huge. I explained this to some people once. Like, the 6-digit dialing thing. "Okay, I'm going to call so-and-so." Dial 6 digits. Hang up. "Wait. What'll I say if it's an answering machine?" Think up a script for myself. Dial 6 digits. Hang up. Dial 6 digits. Hang up. "Wait, what'll I say if someone else answers?" Dial 6 digits. Hang up. "Wait, what if it's a machine and I forget my phone number because I keep dialing his?" Write down my name and phone number and a shorthand. Dial 6 digits. Hang up. Deep breaths. Dial 6 digits. Pause. Pause. Dial the last digit. Pray frantically that no one is there. Etc.
Unfortunately, I was explaining this to a bunch of counselors-in-training and they all looked at me very strangely, which was the first time I realized that not everyone goes through that.
(I've always had a somewhat easier time answering the phone than making calls, by the way.)
Seriously, though, since this past year... most of that's all cleared up. Now and then I get attacks, and I still like to have my phone number written down near me, but it's all good, overall Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
"Hello, this is Kate."
Posted by imenimok (Member # 7679) on :
Oh, I feel your pain, starlooker. I hate making phone calls so much that I am too chicken to call my landlord and complain about my outrageously obnoxious neighbor.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I don't work, so I'm just a "Hallo!" person, but I am also one of those who is afraid of making phone calls.
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
At my old job, it was "<company name>, can I help you?" if I was available, and "<company name>, please hold a moment" if I had to finish dealing wtih another customer first. These days, if I answer it at all, it's just "<firstname> <lastname>," but nobody ever calls me here, so if my boss isn't in the office (we share one about the size of a broom closet) to pick it up, I just let the voicemail get it since it's invariably for him anyway.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
"Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza. This is Daniel. Would you like to hear our specials?"
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
"Tech support, <insert specific line they called on> line, this is Mike speaking, can I have your first and last name?"
Not for much longer but...
Posted by Glaphyra the Righteous (Member # 6995) on :
When I was a child, it was:
"Helmbock's residence, Sara speaking. How may I help you?"
After many and sundry changes as I wound my way through jobs, it's now usually:
"Hello, this is Sara" (a'la the elegent simplicity of katharina).
Edit: and since the campus phonebook was misprinted, I often answer one of my officemate's phones with:
"Hello, this is M--- G---'s desk." (*suppressed giggle)
People are often trying to phone the Women's Studies Department when his phone rings, and this results in no end of hilarity. A, ha. Especially since he doesn't have voicemail, and so it rings and rings and rings ... and rings again and rings and rings ...
--CT
[ April 14, 2005, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: Glaphyra the Righteous ]
Posted by ecneics (Member # 7817) on :
Ho ______, this is Patrick.
Posted by Glaphyra the Righteous (Member # 6995) on :
(Welcome to Hatrack, ecneics. Are you a science fan? )
Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
Sometimes I answer "Ya-Hey cousin!," but only when it's my friend Abby. To anyone else I might be construed as racist.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I only answer "This is Jeromy" when it's an outside phone number that I don't recognize. Otherwise I say "Hello, _____" based on the name that appears on my phone. If it's our home phone, I answer "Hi sweetie!"
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Your wife doesn't mind you calling everyone who calls your house "sweetie"?
Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
Verily
![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)