Hatrack River Forum: How was I supposed to answer this.

This is topic How was I supposed to answer this. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

A conversation I just had over the phone.

Mother-In-Law: Dan, help me.
Me: Sure. What can I do.
Mother-In-Law (Widowed about 2 years ago from my wife's step father): How do I tell your wife that I've got a man in my life.
Me: Uh.
Mother-In-Law: He's a really good Christian man, and he's XX years old (about 5 years older than me).

Me: Uh.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Dan,

Treat this as GREAT news! Mom-in-law is happy. She and this man love each other. Age differences are nothing!

If he's good to her and the two of them aren't worried about the age thing, why should you guys?

Don't make it an issue.

Have them over for dinner, if that's possible.

Just tell them if they stay over, they have to have separate rooms. Your house, your rules.

[Big Grin]

[ March 26, 2005, 10:57 AM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :

I agree with Bob, although the MIL needs to tell her, not you. Otherwise it looks like there's a reason to be "ashamed," which might make her see one where there isn't.

The age difference shouldn't be mentioned at all. That makes it an issue when it doesn't need to be.

Dagonee

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Points for priceless answers go to Bob!

[ROFL]

Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :

Dan you're married at 15? Talk about precocious. [Razz]

I would just tell her to say what she told you, he's a good Christian and they love each other. If they're living together, the Christian part might be a tougher sell.

Does she expect your wife to get upset for some reason, other than an age difference?

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :

You already used my best idea, but also try "errr" and "yeeeah" and "huminahumina".

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Seriously, my mom was a widow for many years and she was so worried about telling my brother and I WHENEVER she had a man in her life. At first, I'm sure, it was because we were still teenagers and not very tactful -- her first b.f. was a complete jerk, though.

When she met her new flame, however, we were both overjoyed. He's a wonderful person and they enjoy the same things.

It's a great thing to watch and enjoy and he's become a special part of all our family gatherings, as my mom has become part of their family get-togethers too.

You aren't losing a MIL, you're gaining a...

Ah, you'll have to figure out what to call him. [Big Grin]

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

Actually there is no problem. We are both very supportive of her. It was just a hilarious way to start the morning.

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

And why is Bob answering my questions. Isn't there something else he should be doing today?

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

That's next week. Today we're going into Ames to help hang white stuff in a church.

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :

I don't know but when my Gran was with someone, it was great to have a functional grandpa again! Then they split up [Frown]

Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :

quote:
That's next week.

Didn't you get the memo? They moved the wedding date.

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

When my mom was first dating after her divorce, she told me about this "gentleman" she went on some dates with, and that she kissed him goodnight. The only thing is, she kept referring to him as Brother Schmidt. I thought that was pretty funny, and said, "It's OK, Mom. If you kiss him, you don't have to refer to him as Brother Schmidt anymore."

[ March 26, 2005, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: Annie ]

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

Still, a week before the wedding the groom should be doing something constructive, or at least looking like it.

Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :

I think it's great!!! I do remember when my father in law let slip that he had a lady friend (5 years after my mother in law died), I* was happy for him but Brian could not deal with it.

Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :

The only reason I can think of that his relative youth would be an issue is if he was your wife's high school flame or something. Or does she have siblings older than this guy? It's not necessarily wrong, I can just see someone thinking that's weird.

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :

I'll be the voice of doom on this one - keep an eye on this guy. Age is nothing but a number, but there's always a possibility this guy isn't interested in your mother-in-law as much as her bank account.

Of course, I hope I'm wrong and it works out.

-Trevor

Posted by Lady Jane (Member # 7249) on :

My dad was engaged four months after my mother died. Considering my fury and his reaction to being disrespected, it is probably lucky for both of us I was hundreds of miles away and in touch only by snail mail.

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

TMedina--I know my mother-in-laws bank account. There is nothing to worry about there.

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

Yeah, he's already cleaned that baby out!

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :

[Big Grin]

I'm just saying.

-Trevor

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

Actually that was a very serious issue with my Grand-Mother-In-Law and her last husband. This family is well on guard. Ahh the soap operas that are our lives.