My dad took our dog to the pound today. He told us a few days ago that he was going to, but I made him promise to let me know when so that I could go say goodbye.
Penney is a beautiful female lab/rotti mix, about 90 lbs, and she had been in my family about 11 years now, ever since my parents moved into their new house. I got her at the same pound that my dad took her to today, for a "Christmas present"....my parents had gotten rid of my old dog Mickey because she was being destructive in the cottage they were living in while their house was being built.
He did the same thing then...took her without telling us.
I thought he had learned from how upset we all were last time. I thought that since he said he would call me before he did anything that I could trust him.
I was wrong.
The worst part is that I spoke to my mom this morning and she said her cousin Jeanne, in PA, was willing to take Penney, but I would have to take her to PA. So I asked my wife, and I took the time off to take her two weekends from now.
Too bad my dad isn't a man of his word.
So....I am done with him. For good. I don't mean that I will never see him again, but I doubt I will ever be able to trust him again.....unless what he is saying is in his own best interests. I love him, but I will never understand why he thinks it is ok for him to lie to me, but it is a sin for anyone else to do it to him....ever...
I have done a lot of things in my life that I am not proud of, and my parents have forgiven a lot. I have hurt them in the past, 15 years ago, and it took a lot for me to earn their trust back....and now I wonder why I bothered.
Turns out he is every bit as hurtful as I ever was, but the difference is that one of us has not learned from his mistakes.
Kwea
[ March 15, 2005, 07:18 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
bummer, Kwea.
Is there any way to rescue her from the pound?
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
No...she was so damn cute that she has already been adopted.which is a good thing for her, but it still sucks for us.
The worst part of this it the lack of trust I feel towards my dad.
My mom is upset too, but she is the one who asked him to take her to the pound now, rather than in a few months when they move.
She didn't feel she could say goodbye, so she told him to get rid of her before April 20th when she comes home.
He DID tell me she was going soon, but he promised to let me say goodbye this time. If he had done what he said he would, everything would have worked out fine.
They are moving this Aug, when my dad retires, and their new condo in AZ won't allow dogs. Posted by Epictetus (Member # 6235) on :
That sucks. I really feel for you.
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
This really, really makes me mad on your behalf. I could say a lot of hurtful things regarding responsibility towards ones' pets (much less ones' adult children), but I'm just going to let you imagine what I might have said (you will probably imagine it better than I would say it anyway *smile*).
I have had to take a pet to the pound before (she bit the kid, who was three, it was heartbreaking), but not before a ton of soul-searching. I wonder if your dad did the same soul-searching.
I will stop now.
I offer my heartfelt condolences, but am also happy to know that she got adopted. I hope she has a long, healthy, beloved life.
Posted by mimsies (Member # 7418) on :
wow, I'm sorry.
Posted by Lady Jane (Member # 7249) on :
Oh, I'm sorry. That's very hard.
Posted by JenniK (Member # 3939) on :
I'm glad that Penney got adopted because I know she will be with a family and be happy. I also know that she will miss Kwea since she considers him to be "hers". I am also heartened to know that someone else will love her and she wont face being euthenized. That would have broken my heart. I still owe her a trip to the beach. I think I'll deck Kwea's dad the next time I see him...for Kwea and for myself. At least we have pics of her and can remember. Some Hatrackers got to meet Penney last summer at our Western Mass picnic...she was the dog who thought she was a human. I will miss that big lap dog (she takes up 3 laps at a time), and I don't think I will be able to speak to his father again for a very long time. I am so angry at what he did to his son by lying to him like that. We had yesterday off and had we known, we would have gone down last night...but as hindsight is 20/20 .....
I can't think of anything nice to say about him, so I'll stop thinking about Kwea's dad now. GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
[ March 15, 2005, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: JenniK ]
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
My dad did care enough to call back to the pound to see how she was doing, so it isn't even the fact that he took her that really gets me. They don't have a lot of choices....I can't take her where I live, and all the apts around here that allow dogs don't allow large ones and are way too expensive.
My sister has a 2 year old daughter, and while Penney has never hurt anyone, she isn't particularly good with children.
The condo where they are moving to doesn't allow pets at all.
What bothers me is that out of the three dogs we have had, I have not been able to say goodbye to any of them. Brandy, my first dog, was really sick and had to be put down. Mickey was taken to the pound without warning, and while I understand why dad felt he had to do that, I don't agree with how he did it.
And now Penney.
To me it is far worse to not have any closure with her, to bot have a chance to say thank you and I love you......as bad as I would have felt saying goodbye, I feel even worse now.
My dad was aware of how I felt about it, and reluctantly agreed to call me first...but he felt it would be a cleaner break without all the drama.
One problem with that...I am 35 damn years old, not a teenager, or a child...I am my own best judge, and I don't really care what he "thought" was best for me.
He hasn't had the right to decide that for me in 28 years, and I doubt I will ever trust him again, not like I did before this.
All he cares about is his opinion of what is best, and we have fought over this very thing in the past. Things have been very touch and go between us in the past, and for the most part I have always felt that was mostly my fault.
Now I understand it wasn't, that most of the fault lies with him, and while I still love him, I will never, ever allow him to influence my decisions ever again, even if he is my father.
For Christ sake, he was the best man at my wedding, I trusted him that much....and I was that proud of how far we had come. I still remember the look in his eyes when I asked him to be my best man....and I can't reconcile that man with the arrogant, self-centered one I have to deal with now.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Ah Kwea, I'm sorry man. I wish there were something I could do to help you.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Wow.
That. Really. Sucks.
I'm sorry, man.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
*hugs*--- I have no words...
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
(((Kwea and JenniK)))
I'm really sorry.
space opera
Posted by Myr (Member # 5956) on :
Penney is so awesome She'll make someones family very happy, I'm so sorry you didn't get to say bye. That's crappy.
(((k&j)))
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I'm so sorry, Kwea.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I'm sorry...
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
{{{Kewa, JenniK and Penney}}} I wish there were words to express the frustration I feel on your behalf.
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
That is so crummy, Kwea (and JenniK). My mother gave away my dog when I was 10 and visiting relatives. I understand now why she had to - we were moving around a lot and the next place didn't allow dogs. And she gave my dog to my uncle, so I still got to see her, but I was furious.
I'm glad you can at least take comfort in the fact that she's in a good place, and not metaphorically.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Thanks everyone, it was a tough day at work. My dad works for JCPenneys, so I had to be careful what I said...he retires this summer and I don't want to do anything that could make waves for him at work.
I had Penney thoughts all day.
I am not suprised that she was adopted so fast...my parents took her to obedience school years ago when we forst got her, so she listens fairly well. Never for long, she is an ADD donggie... ....but well enough.
Also, she was quite wild when we got her, but now that she is older she sleeps a lot, adn is pretty settled. I just hope that the family that got her doesn't have young kids.....she will growl at them, although she has never bit one.....and that might mess up her new home.
BTW, thank you for all the support here. It doesn't really help, but it is nice knowing that people care.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
I can't think of anything nice to say about him, so I'll stop thinking about Kwea's dad now. ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
....but well enough.