I'm sure this will sound rather silly and rambling, but here goes.
I've always been deathly afraid of being involved in a car accident. Who isn't, right? But for the last week I think this fear has grown into full-fledged...I dunno what to call it, exactly. Every night before bed lately I get so frightened that my kids will be in a car accident that my heart races and I feel like I'm going to get sick.
I don't worry about fires, choking, etc. - it's always a car accident. As I said, I've always been fearful of them, and events in my life haven't decreased that fear any. Every car accident and every death is a terrible thing, but a close friend of mine lost his pregnant wife and unborn child in an accident almost 10 years ago. And a close friend of my ex-husband's lost his two young children and wife in an accident 2 years ago. I won't list all the others.
I know that we can't control everything that happens, and the only thing we can do is drive safely. But that doesn't make me feel *any* better. Oftentimes an accident is caused by someone else who isn't as careful. I'm not afraid of death - it happens to everyone, even me and my kids (though I pray that doesn't happen till they're shrunken old people). It's the *manner* of it, if that makes sense.
Mr. Opera and I were involved in a car accident last year. We weren't hurt, though the police said we were darned lucky not to be killed. The entire front of my car was ripped off. I remember the fear vividly, and I am absolutely terrified of my children ever having to experience anything like it. I can take illness; I can't take a car accident with the fear and the body-mangling.
I don't know if this made any sense, but I don't know what to do. I *know* this fear is not logical and is totally out of proportion. But the kind of fear I've been having is the closest thing to a panic attack that I've ever had.
space opera
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Has anything happened recently (in the last month or two) to cause this to flare up? Or has one of the accidents you mentioned had an anniversary in the last week or so?
Is the fear impairing your ability to function?
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Rivka beat me to it: what's happened recently to make this fear so much worse? Morbo
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
I, too, am terrified of cars. I hate driving. I especially hate the freeway. It's like... it's like there's no one in the other cars. It's like they're just going straight on, fast as they can, ignoring everyone else.
I'd go on, but that wouldn't really be helping you much, would it?
Either way, the feeling's mutual.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I still cannot drive yet... Maybe seeing one is a good idea. I am seeing one for social phobia.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
I can't say anything specific has happened lately to make it worse. Like Book, I *hate* freeway driving especially; I was actually grateful that when we moved it meant I'd only have to spend 10 minutes on the freeway when meeting the kids' dad for his visitation. Of course, my kids are still on the freeway for an hour going back to his house. I actually don't watch the news because they seem to loooove covering car accidents.
The only thing I remember creeping me out recently is a huge sign posted over the highway coming in to Louisville. It's a buckle-up reminder that lists the number of highway deaths that have occurred so far this year. I *hate* seeing the numbers rise.
It's not impairing my ability to function as of yet. However, in the middle of the worst of it, I seriously consider skipping visitations with the kids' dad so we won't have to drive. I woke Mr. Opera up crying earlier because I was so afraid - and I'm just not that kind of person normally.
space opera
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Ok, so:
not triggered by a recent event
getting worse, it sounds like?
causing serious inconvenience to you and your family
Yeah, seeing a therapist might be a good idea. Might help you figure out what's triggering it and how to cope. It's a perfectly REAL and REALISTIC fear. *hug* But a therapist is likely to be able to help you gain some perspective.
Good luck!
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
One of the first things many therapists would advise are breathing and relaxation techniques. You could try those and see if they help any. Deep breathing to fight panic attacks is a cliche, but it works.
If it's not limiting your function, you may want to hold off on the therapy for a little while. You could get some referrals just in case it gets worse suddenly. Hmmm, I see Rivka disagrees. Well, it's a judgement call. I would get some referrals and think about it.
While the fear has a rational basis (car accidents happen all the time), your response to the fear is not rational, as is often true.
((Space Opera))
I have to go to sleep. Good luck, SO! Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Not to quibble, but does the thread title mean "I'm worried--(therefore) I need a shrink"
Or "I'm worried (that) I need a shrink"? Or both?
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
If it's interfering with your life, I encourage you to go seek some professional help. I don't think fearing car accidents is irrational, but it sounds like some pretty extreme anxiety.
Actually, I think most people would benefit from a visit with a counselor or therapist of some kind. We all have things we can work on and someone who deals with this problem on a daily basis in other people *and* is a mostly disinterested party can help you get a good perspective.
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
We just studied phobias in psychology yesterday.
It's a little hard with driving - but gradual exposure ought to do it.
You could, of course - assuming the cash is available - and though this sounds silly it's an option, buy an SUV (say, a Hummer H3 or a Volvo XC90 - as well as a BMW X5 or a Range Rover) and anything crashing into you smaller than a 747 won't affect you much.
That is a solution, as part of the gradual exposure thing: drive a big, strong and secure vehicle (frinds', neighbours' or even rent one), and then move to smaller vehicles.
This is crazy, but that's the best solution for phobias - to the best of my knowledge. I prefer behaviourism to psychodynamism...
JH
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
PostTraumaticStressDisorder happens to lots of folks besides soldiers. And PTSD doesn't necessarily begin soon after the trauma: there can be a long delay between the initiating incident(s) and the onset of diagnosable symptoms.
If it is beginning to interfere with your life, contact a psychiatrist; ie a MedicalDegreed physician specializing in psychology, learning, brain chemistry, and therapies'/drugs'/etc interaction with that brain. A psychiatrist who specializes in PTSD treatment for an initial consultation, who may then recommend therapy from other psychology workers after that first interview.
A psychologist/therapist/counselor/practitioner/etc is not a psychiatrist, nor are they necessarily trained in PTSD. Labeling PTSD as a simple phobia/etc can lead to a lot of wasted time on the wrong (and possibly injurious) type of treatment. Talk to and rely on the physician specialistfirst to make the diagnosis between PTSD or phobia/etc.
[ March 04, 2005, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
Space Opera, I can relate. PTSD is within the Anxiety disorder spectrum, and I used to have a lot of fear of my other children dying after my first one did. I've used a lot of Cognitive Behavioral therapy. You might try Control your anxiety before it controls you by Dr. Albert Ellis. It's not just another self- help book, he pioneered a lot of the techniques. The fact that you realize you're being irrational means a lot.
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
quote:This is crazy, but that's the best solution for phobias - to the best of my knowledge. I prefer behaviourism to psychodynamism...
Psych 101 rears it's ugly head.
*name that movie!*
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Good luck Ms. Opera.
-Trevor
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
*repeats what adam said*
It doesn't mean you're doomed to years and years of therapy. It may just take a few sessions to help straighten out what you're looping through over and over.
Getting help will probably be more of a relief than you realize on this side of the problem.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
You have to do what you feel like doing. If you see a shrink but really don't feel like too, you have very few chances for it to work. As for the time the therapy could take, if you read my landmark you'll see that even very old and annoying problems can be ridden of in a few seances if you're lucky Posted by Promethius (Member # 2468) on :
Space Opera,
Psychology is what I am going to school for. There is so much that can be done for this. I urge you to see someone now before this starts to be so much of a problem that you no longer leave the house because of your fear of car accidents. This is a pretty common problem and a psychologist will be able to develop a program to make your fear go away or lessen. As Aspectre said you can see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I do not agree with aspectre about seeing a psychiatrist first. I think you should consult your physician and describe what you are experienceing and he will advise you from there. There are both psychologists and psychiatrists who specialize in PTSD and anxiety disorders.
I most recently interned at a state mental health facility and had alot of hands on experience with mental disorders. I also worked with a number of psychologists and psychiatrists. The main difference between the two is, a psychiatrist is very focused on medicating. Meeting with a psychiatrist will be alot like meeting with a doctor, you will go in, tell him about what you are experiencing and he will prescribe a medication. Then you will meet with him and he will adjust medication accordingly. Meeting with a psychologist will be much more personable. You will talk with your psychologist and have sessions that last 45 minutes to an hour, sometimes more and sometimes less but that is the norm. You may even work with both a psychologist and a psychiatrist which is extremely common. I am glad to see that you recognize a mental health problem and wish to fix it. There is such negativity associated with mental health, but it is really like any physical illness.
Personally I am a strong advocate of behavioral psychology. Mothertree said something about behavioral psychology. However I am inclined to suggest you see a professional instead of simply reading a book and self diagnosing. The professional you see may even suggest reading the book mothertree recommended as a way of helping you understand whats going on. Not to repeat what I said earlier but a psychiatrist puts a strong emphasis on medication, and a behavioral or cognitive psychologist will put a much stronger emphasis on overcoming the disorder without medication. Goodluck I am sure you will find what works best for you. I hope what I posted was a little help.
Posted by Lady Jane (Member # 7249) on :
You may want to see a shrink, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
I did, last year, to deal with what may have been PTSD from some events that happened over five years ago. It was fabulous. My only regret is that I didn't go five years earlier. I went once every other week for about four months, and then we quit because I was fine and there was nothing else to talk about. If it's disturbing your sleeping, go ahead and call. It's totally worth it.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Yeaaaaaah...sounds like you very well might have to see a shrink of some type.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. To clarify, I wasn't worried about needing therapy - more about the problem itself. Shrinks are good.
I've got an appointment with a counselor, so we'll see how that goes. I have an idea that the fear may be heightened by the fact that I haven't been sleeping well and some hormonal changes. But, either way it's definately better to go talk to someone who knows a heck of a lot more about this stuff then I do! I let you all know how it goes.
space opera
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
See, I'm afraid of therapists. But then, there's a history behind it. Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Oh good, glad you're going to see someone.
I had nightmares about car wrecks before I started seeing my therapist. It wasn't affecting me to the extent that it was you, but it was just a symptom of how out of control my life was. My recurring nightmare was that I was driving, and could see a car in front of me and knew I was going to hit it and was unable to stop. I always woke up still feeling that sense of fear in the inevitability of the coming disaster.
At any rate, it stopped almost immediately after I began to get help, I think because the step of going to see someone was a way of me taking control and, metaphorically applying the brake I guess.
I can almost guarantee that you'll feel better very soon.
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