Hatrack River Forum: New column: Academy Awards coverage: What Would Hunter Do?

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Academy Awards coverage: What Would Hunter Do?

There I was Sunday night, all ready to write my column on Academy Awards trivia. Basic Q&A format, some quick research, spoon in some funny, no problem. And then I heard about the passing of Hunter S. Thompson, and I became ashamed.

Thompson's deranged prose changed the face of journalism. Where other reporters crouched at the marble altar of aloof objectivity, Thompson helped pioneer "gonzo" journalism that demanded the reporter force himself into the story's bloody body cavity and cover it from the inside even as it died a horrible, spastic death from his thrashing. Reckless? Unethical? Sure. But his writing had a fever-dream intensity that plain old "accurate" reporting simply can't match.

His books astounded and inspired me with their sheer audacity. How could I sit there Googling for Oscar FAQs when he would have been out there savagely ripping the truth from the shrieking, Botoxed lips of Hollywood itself? Did I really want to settle for less?

By six o'clock Monday morning I was staggering out of Los Angeles International Airport where the truth was waiting at the curb, ready to mug me and leave me naked and helpless among the ferocious timber wolves of the Topanga hills.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

[ROFL]

Ah Chris...that was sublime.

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :

[ROFL]

Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :

AB-SO-LUTELY BRILLIANT! [ROFL]

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

[No No]

Now your black listed from ever getting an Oscar yourself.

Or a George, Fred or Frank either.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

Perfectly captures Thompson's writing in a humorous way, Chris. You done good. Hat's off to you. [Hat]

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

DVD extras: this column was probably the most fun to write yet, and even though I went 300 words over my usual limit (which is perfectly appropriate, considering he always did) I had tons of stuff I had to cut. Here's some of them.

***

I didn't have time to pick up the requisite pharmaceuticals from my connections before I left, partly because I had bare minutes to make the plane and partly because I didn't have any connections. My life til now has been starkly sober and vividly clear. That was about to change, and the racks at the airport bookstore were going to help.

***

The sun in California is a brutal thing, easily broiling alive all those who have not yet evolved a thick, shiny crust of lies. I went with sunscreen.

***

There were no velvet ropes outside yet but hopefuls were already lining up in neat rows, just in case some celebrities might decide to swing by six days early. For a wild moment I considered trying to pass myself off as James Lipton but I feared kidnapping. I could easily see myself imprisoned by a psychotic fan within a rotting doublewide in Monterey Park, living on rancid tomato paste and analyzing professional wrestling for his perverted amusement. Don’t think it doesn’t happen. There are still entire years that Roger Ebert refuses to talk about.

***

Did my paper's support of the arts extend to bail? I was about to find out.

[ February 23, 2005, 11:05 AM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]

Posted by fiazko (Member # 5812) on :

quote:
Apparently the Wilmas were stronger than the Barneys, an odd gender reversal I didn't have time to explore.

This is priceless.

Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :

Huh. Practically the entire article was incomprehensible to me. I guess it just flew over my head.

Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :

Fantastic.

I hate to say this Chris (because depending on your circumstances this may be cruel), but if you continue to crank out 1-2 serious gems every couple of months, you'll soon have enough columns for a book.

Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :

mph -- are you saying that tongue-in-cheek, or have you never read any of Hunter Thompson's work?

Posted by AntiCool (Member # 7386) on :

I'm being completely serious. I never even heard of him before this morning.

Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :

I haven't, but I still recognized the style and I thought it was funny. [Smile]