The un untrustly things hapened yesterday. I discovered i've got a heart. More : he beat for a girl ! unthinkable !
I know her for a long time (around 3 years), but i discover that just yesterday. I think we have the same feeling. However, I haven't courted for a long time. And i am affraid to be too bad and to undispose her.
Please help me to continue my story !!
[ May 14, 2005, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
In all seriousness, this has got to be one of my all-time favorite posts at Hatrack. Language barriers are so overrated.
The only advice I have comes in two parts. First, and most obvious, is be yourself. You've obviously gotten this far simply by doing that. Second, and only slightly less obvious is to find out if the feelings are mutual. I have no idea how to advise about finding out, but I only know (first hand) that not finding out can lead to bad things.
Also, surely someone else around here has some sound advise that covers something other than the obvious.
Feyd Baron, DoC
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Take her to a poetry reading or a craft fair and buy her chocolate, a cup of tea, or a knick-knack.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Be honest, and think it all through first....not the conversation with her, but make sure you are positive about your feelings for her before you make any move at all...once you try to date, nothing will ever be the same again, for better or for worse.
Be honest with her, and tell her all the things you like/love about her. Don't try to be subtle...either she won't get it, or she will but you won't know that she did...
Good luck!
Kwea
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
The title sounds like a tagline for corny movie.
Good luck though.
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
Choobak, the way you write is charming. If the way you talk to her is in any way similar, then I'm sure you'll have no problems. Good luck, and just be yourself;)
Posted by Strider (Member # 1807) on :
The post reminds me of "Everything is Illuminated".
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Choobak is totally cute. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Thanks for all this pretty posts. I'll try to be honest with her, so romantic (i hide this side behind my happy behavior).
*Breath*
*speak to myself* Get up, Choobak !
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
(((Choobak))) I'm happy for you ! That's really good news !
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:Take her to a poetry reading or a craft fair and buy her chocolate, a cup of tea, or a knick-knack.
Um. . . if you want to be HER GIRLFRIEND!
Sheesh!
:has taken Mrs. R. to poetry readings and craftfairs, bought her REALLY GOOD chocoloate, and neat little knick-knacks:
Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
Good luck and like most others have said, be your self. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I want to add some news about my pretty story. The link is know very strong and we send us around 3 or 4 E-mails a day. I can't meet her in this period because of her exams and inspection (she is french litterature teacher). And i love her, and she love me.
Wow !
The next time i'll meet her is the 9th for the birthday of two friends twins. I want to look in her (thanks Corwin) eyes ! I am becoming crazy...
Love is so good !
[ March 03, 2005, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I <3 Choobak. How could I miss this the first time round? Hatrack is better for having you. Some people's posts just make your day brighter for no particular reason.
I'm so glad to hear things are going well. May you always be so happy.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Yay! This is so cute! Choobak is twitterpatted. Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Comment dit-on twitterpated en français? Touiterpé?
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
On dit : touiteurpatède. I am laughing a lot ! I don't know the translation. I just know that twitter is a "gazouillement" (the song of a bird) and pated is "carressé" or "tapoté". So, I don't understand what i am ! i continue to laugh...
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Choobak, have you ever watched the Disney cartoon movie "Bambi"? I think that was where they first used the word. It is a cute word for "infatuation". Or in this case, "to be infatuated".
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Ok !! We said in french : "avoir le béguin (pour quelqu'un)". But with the definition corwin has linked, I think a better translation is "être fou d'amour" (litterally : to be crazy of love)
So, yes ! I am twitterpated...
And it's so sweet !
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I'll meet her tomorow evening in a friend surprise birthday party. I am too nervous ! I have little trembles... During one week or more (i lose the time notion), we have written lot of E-mails. All the mine are joined by a poem i wrote. And she likes all and perticularly the last. (I recall to you she is Litterature teacher, so her compliments touched me.)
What will happened ? I am impatient and anxious !
Posted by Vána (Member # 6593) on :
Ooo, I'm so excited for you! What a wonderful thread! There is nothing like the first thrills of love. Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
This thread makes me happy. Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
Cute Choobak! Hope it goes well. "Twitterpated" is a great word! To me it will always refer to Dana and Bob back when they were both twitterpated about each other, but before we all guessed.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
How lovely. Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Ain't love the sweetest thing?
[ March 08, 2005, 06:53 PM: Message edited by: Corwin ]
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
She was not at the party...
Worse : She don't answer my today E-mail (the first time)
And the worst : One of my friend is in love with her too...
I am very very sad. Sorry.
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Then answer the question of all angst-crossed lovers...
Is your friend bigger than you are?
-Trevor
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Sorry to hear that.
I know that right now you're feeling like everything is going to end, but give her a little time, ok? Stop making scenarios in your head and try to wait patiently until she contacts you.
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
It's 2 am and i can't sleep. I try a hammer knock on my head... Nothing. I agree about scenarii on my mind : I must stop it and try to sleep. But a part of my head refuse to admit that and is in strike like the subway drivers currently (that why she can't go this evening.
I must go working tomorow, but i am so bad !!!
That will be hard...
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Choobak - Corwin is right.
Stop creating scenarios in your mind. It will only make you insane.
It won't give you the answers you're looking for.
Take a shower. Do pushups. Do anything else, but don't dwell on what could have happened.
-Trevor
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Oh well... I'm in love too, you know. Yesterday I just had my worst sleep ever. I managed to go to sleep at around 2AM and woke up at 6:30AM... I DON'T recommend this... It's already late, but if you can you should have some linden tea to calm you down and go to sleep afterwards.
I think I should sleep too... Good night, Choobak!
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Thanks a lot. I'm going to reading a book and change my mind. Tomorow, i'll speak with my best friend. He may have a better point of view. An objective eyes on my depressed attitude.
I am trying to sleep now.
[ March 09, 2005, 08:48 PM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Mabus (Member # 6320) on :
Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I'm looking for opinions.
And Choobak, I really hope things work out for you.
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
I'm of the opinion...no.
-Trevor
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
I say yes, but then - at the time of losing, it will almost definitely seem like the answer is no. That's why I try to love and keep. Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Good morning, Choobak. When you get within typing distance let us know how you've been, ok? Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I'm sorry to hear that, Choobak. I really hope it's just a misunderstanding... Whenever you feel like it, let us know, OK ? Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*hugs Choobak* Let us know what happens, ok? And be sure to e-mail me if you need anything (e-mail in profile).
Better still, e-mail me in French, so I can also try to improve my skills and help you at the same time! Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Morning was hard : I have slept just 3 hour and half. So... I think i am becoming too crazy and totally unobjective. I'll speak with my best friend in a half hour. He is also a friend of her. So his vision may be better than mine.
I think the slightest things which let me thing she doesn't love me get a super size.
She answered me in a very short mail to a global message to my friends about a party i organize to say she will come. She added she was busy so she can't answer me these days.
All have explanations... But i'm terrified to be in conflict with a friend...
Pfff !! I sight.
It's hard, but you are sincerly friendly with me.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
One advice: try to calm down and sleep more. (if you can make it you're good, I never managed to! )
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I agree
I think i was in a bad time. I discuss with my friend and i see the view better than before. I breath slowly and deeply now. Excuse-me to make these sad post... I'm going to eat a little and next : sleeping. She want i continue to send poem... That i made.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I hope you'll get everything sorted with her. *sends good vibes*
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
You wrote her a poem? That's beautiful. Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Hey, Choobak! How's your weekend going? I'm glad you decided on a more positive approach to your situation. Keep it going! Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I like writing, and it's what she like (d ?) in me. She answers me by a short message that i translate here :
Original in french :
quote: Salut Sylvain,
Pas mal du tout le poème du jour. Drôlement original en fait!
Pour les vers de 9 syllabes, on dit enneasyllabes.
Passe un bon week-end! Dorothée.
In english : "Hello Sylvain,
Not bad at all the today poem. Very original in fact !
For lines of 9 syllables, it is called enneasyllables.
Have a good week-end ! Dorothée"
Since this message, i have written 3 new poems and begun a fourth.
It's strange the sad feeling we may have when loving somebody. I have written a poem about that and the waitting of a new mail.
About my week, it was in up and down, and up and down. More down than up in reality. But i hope this week will be better.
[ March 13, 2005, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
So do I, Choobak. Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Choobak, here's another piece of useless advice: don't overwhelm her with messages and/or phone calls. She might want to go at a slower pace, and if you keep it like this it might just drive her away.
Remember, the fact that someone doesn't act the way you do doesn't mean they don't like/love you. It's just that every one of us has different ways of showing affection. For some it's a burning flame that'll consume them from the start, for others it builds in time, along with the trust in and knowledge about the other person.
That said, I also hope you have a better week, and don't hesitate to post about any problems that might arise. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Yes Corwin, You're right. Writing is my expression way and speaking is more difficult.
I stay cool now.
*EDIT*
Merci Corwin, tu viens de me réveiller et de me faire prendre conscience du goufre dans lequel j'allais plonger. Je crois que je perdais de vue tout ce qui faisait ma vie avant. Un exemple : hier en Nationnal 5, je me suis fais ratiboiser par un moins fort que moi. J'en perdais la luciditer de mon jeu.
Sorry for the non french readers, but as Mr Card has writen in Xenocide, When you passionly speak or write, you return to your original language. I just say to Corwin thanks because i didn't see the wall face of me. sO Corwin, you win a drink when you'll come to Paris. I add that all of you who support me can come too. I'll gladly offer a drink to you.
Mail-me before (in french in the title because of spam), you get my adress in my profil.
[ March 14, 2005, 09:06 AM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
My dear friends,
She like to receive my E-mail ! I saw her this evening and we spoke together. That was not the great and beautiful love discussion, but i loved that. She said she like my mails because she knows she have something to read in is mailbox at the break time.
To continue, she adds there is really good poems i wrote. And i know his favorite is one who speak about a train travel i made and the dream i have of a girl (she) who lives in the abbaye of my life.
In addition to that, she has offered me a gift. It is a very very small book she get : Les fleurs du mal by Baudelaire (Great poetry)
And to finished, i see her again to my "pendaison de crémaillère" (it's the party we take when your home is ready to have gests) And we will speak together again.
I'm in love... Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Awww. Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Wow, this seems like a nice turn of events! I'm glad things are starting to work for you, Choobak. Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Choobak, I love you. You're the cutest person ever. Your last post just made my day. Thank you.
Good luck with her! Sounds like things are going really well!
Bonne chance! Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
YOu know, i'm a little crazy with all that. And when i read you, i'm getting foot on earth for an appreciate time. I keep this very little book on my left pocket, near my heart. She doesn't write me as i would like, but i know i am read. I want to be on saturday...
I prepare an irish party, because of my love of Guinness, and the proximity of the St Patrick's day. Someone have little gastronomic advice for me ?
Posted by esl (Member # 3143) on :
Hi Choobak, I'm sorry I don't have any alcohol drinking advice. I only have a tiny bit of experience in that area.
Just want you to know: I enjoy reading your thread when I come to Hatrack. Thanks for updating us. Happy Day
[ March 17, 2005, 05:23 AM: Message edited by: esl ]
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Get some good Irish whiskey, preferably Bushmills , for Irish coffee, or straight up=neat=no ice. Use fresh whipped cream for the Irish coffee.
This thread is tres charmant, Choobak, I've enjoyed it very much--there's nothing like new love. Morbo Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
So cuuuuuute. My advice : stay away from alcohol if you want to impress her Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
About whiskey, i have for pure degustation a very very good "Connemara Cask Strength". Simply one of the best i tasted. For Irish, i'll use a Jack Daniels.
About alcohol, i am not a big drinker (I have a good capacity, but i dislike to be in coma...). In addition to that, i don't have memory lapse and stay lucid all time (and i remember a night...It's not the topic ). That why i don't drink when i'm sad.
I rarely drink. But i think following your advice will be very simple : i have all things to discuss...
read you later !
*edit* I like bushmills too (10 years and more). So i prefer drink a little glass of very good whiskey 10 days per year than a bad bottle each day.
[ March 17, 2005, 12:11 PM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Just few hours... My love will come an hour before the start because she must go out at 8 PM- 8:30 PM to help a depressive friend... I am not sad, because we'll be together in my home for an hour. I'll tell you what will happen. Promis. I must continue to prepare my party. See you later ! Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Good luck, Choobak! Try to be casual and relax. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I am so so so stupid !!!!
I didn't see a very big message to incite me to open my heart. Explanation :
She came one hour before the other. And she offered me for my home opening a CD of a new french song writer : Aldebert. I took it in my iBook for listning. She said to take the song 3. It is named "Carpe Diem". But you must know one thing about me : i don't quickly take sences of speech. I have to read it. And to do not help me, when something is sing, i firstly heard music, and after a second (or a third) time, i understand text...
So this sing speack about somebody who meet a beautiful girl, and get is courage to begin a relation. And me who was in a confused time and don't understand that !!! After she went out, I read the text... And i immediatelly sent her a SMS to offer a rendez-vous tomorow on the Pond Neuf. I added i want to say her what my courageless didn't let me said this evening.
She sent me a SMS to said, she can't go to Paris tomorow because her parents will be back from travel. But she added she'll write an E-mail tomorow afternoon.
I have no doubt now. But i want to write to her before. No, i have the biggest difficulty to go to sleep. I'll try to read her favorite Victor Hugo's book : "Les travailleurs de la mer".
My heart is in flame, and i don't want her heart will become cold.
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
I realize she's French Choobak, but I don't think her heart will chill in twelve hours.
-Trevor
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
So right. Pffff ! Love is the only thing who can break my scientific mind. It make me write many poems ! Totally crazy...
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Trevor is right, any girl that would give you a song called "Carpe Diem" ["seize the day"]--about "somebody who meet a beautiful girl, and get is courage to begin a relation"--no, her heart won't chill soon.
Carpe la femme! Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Nothing... No love... Just a deep friendship...
I am so sad !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I misunderstand all...
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
What happened Choo? She said she liked you as a friend?
-Trevor
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I try to translate her last E-mail. (It's a little hard for me...)
Dear Sylvain, I thought as it has been some time as we must speak together... I thus allow ourselves to answer your mall. I would not like that you mistake on my behavior towards you. I appreciate really our daily exchanges, your humour, your sensitivity. Complicity that we have just discovered is really for me friendship, a sincere and major friendship which I hope to be able to preserve like such. I hope to still be able to share with you your readings, your reflexions, your impressions on Aldebert and full with other things which make that the life is enthralling and is worth the sorrow to be lived. Thank you in any case for your sincerity which touches me much. At Thursday I hope. Dorothée.
I cannot translate so i used the google translator. I cannot comment more. Sorry to be sad.
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
She does like you as a friend, Choo - which is cold comfort for the knife in your gut at the moment, but it is a comfort nonetheless.
-Trevor
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Aiii yiii yii! So sorry, Choobak! And just when everything seemed to be going so well! Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*hugs Choobak*
Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
Aww...I'm sorry, Choobak. That's so sad. I was really hoping things would work out for you...
((((Choobak))))
Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
*hugs Choobak*
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
A love is falling, but a deep friendship is born. And now i can fall in love a new time, with, i hope best results. But i think i must let a little time for that...
Thank you all hatrackers who followed my story, Thank you to help me when i was in a bad time, when i was in doubt. Thank you to be here !
Now, show must go on. And if i still am a little sad, i am regaining my strength for a new start, 'cause she continue to speak with me, and may be a good friend. I must go to sleep now. I hope having sweet dreams. Good night !
[ March 20, 2005, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Aww! I'm sorry things weren't as they seemed, Choobak. But as you say, now you have other opportunities - for a good friendship with this girl, and a new love in future. I'm glad you're able to think positively already.
Good luck, and be well.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Sorry things didn't turn out like you were hoping. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
In reality, i try to positive, but it's the hardest thing for me. I cannot... I cannot...
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Choobak, sorry things didn't work for you.
As the cynic I am, I'll give you another advice: have the guts to stop contacting her altogether. As you say, you want to be positive about it, but it won't work. It will just gnaw you inside, seeing how good friends you can be with her, but knowing nothing more can come out of it. I think she totally screwed up with her signals there, but don't let that make you insecure in the future. The fact that she doesn't know how to show exactly what she wants is totally her problem and not yours. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HER.
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
Choobak, this quote
quote: Now, show must go on. And if i still am a little sad, i am regaining my strength for a new start,
sounded pretty positive to me.
Just sent you an email--but I'm going to bed soon.
I hope you are not sad too long. . . Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
quote:STAY. AWAY. FROM. HER.
I don't know your problem well enough to say this, Choobak. Sometimes that's best, other times it works out to be friends--you decide.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
I have 4 out of 4 experiences that didn't work. Maybe that's just me though...
I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something like this: "Friendship may end in love, but love in friendship - unlikely."
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I cannot do that. It's terribly difficult.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: "Friendship may end in love, but love in friendship - unlikely."
I beg to differ.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
*echoes Raia*
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Then it's just me. So shoot me. (No, really, I could use a good shot in the head. )
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
No.
Corwin:
Everyone has a different opinion. That's just mine. You don't need to be shot in the head. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
One day before... She answered me. I try to be cool, but i stay honest with her. She knows that and i think she understands because she continues to write. But i know i have no chance but i irresistibly continue to have a hope, a destructive hope for my mind and my heart. No Corwin , i know you use every arguments to help my poor soul to get out of this way. I cannot shoot you, because you tried to help me. One of my best friends, a girl, said me, i am too fightless, and i must continue again and again. She said that many couples don't exist if someone didn't insist.
I don't know what do you think about that, but i can't fight. I don't believe such a situation works.
I am so bad, now !!! And i continue to write poems again and again. I love that, and i don't want to lose my only reader...
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote: but i irresistibly continue to have a hope
This is what I'm talking about. Won't do you any good.
Look, you know I told you I was in love too? Long story short, she said yes, then told me she apparently can't feel the same. I decided to play it cool and go on being friends. Didn't work. So now I've erased all her emails, her addresses, her phone number, her pictures, and asked her to contact me as little as possible. First time I do something like this, but I'm decided to cut this off from the start. Is it easy?! Hell no! She's my best friend. But that's exactly why I can't go on like this.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
You know Choobak, I have a big theory about love (and I'll write it in French because it will be easier for the two of us). Je pense que l'amour ne se décide pas. L'étincelle, la flamme, appelle ça comme tu voudras, qui s'allume dans deux coeurs arrive comme ça. On peut penser que c'est le hasard, le destin, ou Dieu, ça n'a pas d'importance. Ce qui compte c'est qu'on ne peut pas le créer soi-même. Mais cette étincelle, il va falloir l'entretenir, et c'est pour ça qu'aucune histoire d'amour ne peut durer sans la volonté des deux participants. Croire au Prince Charmant est illusoire si c'est croire qu'une fois qu'on est amoureux, c'est fini, plus besoin de faire un effort quelconque pour rester un couple heureux. L'amour a besoin des deux pour durer, de l'étincelle de départ et de toute l'énergie que le couple y ajoute après. Si elle ne ressent pas ce que tu ressens, ou si elle n'a pas envie de se laisser aller à ce sentiment, alors tu ne peux pas l'y forcer - tu risques plutôt de briser toute relation qui pourrait subsister entre vous, et qui pourrait, qui sait, se tranformer avec le temps. Maintenir une relation d'amitié avec quelqu'un que tu aimes doit être très difficile - mais tu ne peux pas la forcer à vouloir plus. C'est à toi de voir si tu veux compter sur la possibilité qu'elle change d'avis, ou si tu veux aller de l'avant et laisser d'autres occasions frapper à ta porte. L'amour arrive souvent dans les situations ou tu y crois le moins - en tout cas ça a été le cas pour moi, et pour pas mal de gens que je connais.
[ March 21, 2005, 09:18 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
(((wonderful Choobak)))
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Merci Anna, ton message me fait du bien. And i think like that. Waters must flow under the bridge to let me get up. It's hard because, when i realise something, it is with great enthusiasm. THe most terrible thing, is for all material things, i am a very lucky man, but in love... I would like to balance this luck... I am little hopeless. You said i may have a new love, I hope, but actually my solitude make me mad.
*Edit* Why wonderful ? Sorry, i don't understand...
[ March 21, 2005, 08:51 AM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Choobak, quand j'ai rencontré Vincent, mon mari, je venais de me prendre un des plus beaux rateaux de ma vie et ma mère venait de mourir. Je m'étais dit "bon, laisse tomber, concentre-toi sur tes études et arrête de t'intéresser aux hommes". Et puis j'ai rencontré Vincent, et il s'est tout de suite passé quelque chose de très fort entre nous, peut-être aussi justement parce que ni l'un ni l'autre n'était en train de chercher le grand amour. Ca fait bientot quatre ans, et à chaque fois que je crois que je ne peux pas l'aimer plus, mon coeur me prouve le contraire. L'amour, c'est beaucoup de peine pour le trouver, beaucoup de boulot pour le garder, mais ça en vaut la peine. P.S : Corwin, ça va ? Tu m'as l'air bien sombre aujourd'hui...
[ March 21, 2005, 08:57 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
As has already been stated in another thread lately -- I do believe you can love your best friend and keep it at the best friend level -- with enough maturity and understanding, and a willingness to accept that you are just best friends, and not romance.
Unfortunately, this appears to be very difficult for many people.
Farmgirl
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Anna: Nope, ça va pas. Read my previous post again.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Je suis désolée, Corwin. Quelle poisse ! Je ne sais pas vraiment quoi te dire, sauf de ne pas te décourager parce que tu es quelqu'un de bien et tu vas trouver la personne qu'il te faut un jour, j'en suis sûre. Celà dit, ta réaction me semble très saine. Au moins comme ça tu es sûr de ne pas laisser ton coeur moisir dans cette histoire alors que d'autres t'attendent...
[ March 21, 2005, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Sorry Corwin, i cry with lot of noise and i don't see you are not in good feeling too. I am too egoist. Excuse-me and all this so ridiculous posts i do. But we discover another common point, friend ! ;-) No, sorry, i try to joke but what i make is not very laughly. (i know, this word does not exist, but this is mine, and i like it)
Anna your story sounds pretty well. Can you tell me more to help me to rehope ? I know it's personnal question, and i don't want to question you more if you don't want. Mais pour retrouver un peu d'espoir on s'accrocherai à n'importe quoi...
*Edit* Right Anna, Corwin is strong, and a good guy. I cross my fingers for you, Corwin.
[ March 21, 2005, 09:21 AM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Il n'y a pas grand chose à dire. Ma mère est morte d'un cancer du poumon, et j'ai rencontré quelqu'un pendant qu'elle était en train de mourir. Un type qui jouait au grand frère, si tu veux, mais j'avais tellement besoin de soutien à ce moment-là que je crois que je me serais accrochée à n'importe qui pourvu qu'il m'offre un peu d'intérêt. Et puis il avait l'air intéressé, tu sais, des petits gestes, me frôler la cuisse, se tenir un peu plus près que ncessaire quand il me faisait la bise... Bref. Un peu après la mort de maman, je me suis déclarée, comme une idiote. Et c'est là que le rateau évoqué est arrivé. Sur le coup ça a fait très mal, mais aujourd'hui je pense que ça a été une bénédiction, parce que ce type n'était pas pour moi, on se serait fait beaucoup de mal tous les deux. Facile à dire avec le recul, tu me diras. Bref, j'avais le coeur en miettes, et j'avais décidé de ne plus m'intéresser de près à quelqu'un avant la fin de mes études (deux ou trois ans plus tard). Je pensais que ça me ferait du bien, une pause, et puis je voyais bien que je n'étais pas en état de prendre de bonnes décisions. Et là, j'ai rencontré Vincent. Il s'est inscrit dans la chorale de jeunes où je chantais. Il venait d'arriver à Lille, il ne connaissait personne, il avait déjà chanté à l'INSA donc il a cherché une chorale. Et coup de bol, ça a été la mienne. On a commencé à sympathiser très vite, et honnètement je ne le cherchais pas comme amour, juste comme ami. On parlait beaucoup, on s'échangeait des livres, on allait au cinéma... On avait (et on a toujours !) beaucoup de différences, mais c'est aussi ce qui enrichit une relation. Petit à petit, on est devenus très proches, et c'est vite devenu très clair pour moi que c'était lui l'homme pour qui j'étais faite, et je crois que ça s'est plus ou moins passé de la même façon pour Vincent. Mais je crois aussi que notre relation a évolué comme ça parce qu'on ne s'est pas mis la pression. Tout s'est fait naturellement. Comme je te le disais ça nous fait bientôt quatre ans de vie commune, et on est toujours aussi fous l'un de l'autre. Ca demande pas mal d'entretien, de ne jamais laisser subsister un malentendu, de ne jamais prendre l'autre pour acquis. Mais ça en vaut la peine.
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Merci, Anna. Crois-moi, ça fait du bien de ce dire que rien n'est jamais perdu. Sorry, I said to Anna, his story help me to be less and less sad. I am going to the up of the wave. I know, i risk to get in the down and new in the up. But, i can work better. Just a little last question Anna : Tu as mis longtemps à t'en remettre de cette veste, ou l'as-tu vite oublier ?
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Je l'ai vite oubliée. Mais chaque histoire est différente... EDIT : Je ne pense jamais à le proposer parce que je ne veux pas que qui que ce soit se sente forcé de le faire, mais si tu as envie de parler à quelqu'un (et Corwin aussi, bien sûr) mon adresse mail est dans mon profil.
[ March 21, 2005, 10:35 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I am re-finding the smile. Thanks. I know i cannot forget her, because she is a friend, and i don't want break a thing like that, while, there was no war. But i am quickly relativising with our posts.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
(((((Choobak))))) Best of luck. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Merci Anna, j'y penserai. Mais je vais déjà mieux après cette discussion. Je ne voudrais pas abuser. Mais on sait jamais... Je verai dans une semaine comment vont les choses...
I hope too, Raia. I hope too.
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I said before that i am in a wave with upe and down. Yesterday, i get on the up. But this afternoon, i'm getting on the down ! I didn't think it happened so quick. I feel very alone. I know i have friends, but my head refuse to admit that. I think her messages were so a comfort in my life, that i don't want to lose this contact. Do you want to help me ?
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
If I can, I will. What can I do, Choobak ?
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
I just need to speak, not to feel alone. I try to work, bu i can't. I try to write, i can, but it's terribly dark. In normal time, i am optimistic and always smiling. So this spirit status is getting me mad. Would you give me some advice to get out of this way ? To jump up to the wave and stay on the up ? Or better : tell me a story for forgetting the mine. I like listen story... (This sentense is very ridiculous, but right.)
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I already told you mine. Well, there's still a funny story... C'est l'histoire d'un petit ours blanc sur la banquise avec son papa ours blanc. Il se balade, et il dit à son père : "Papa, papa, tu es sûr que je suis un ours polaire ?" Son père lui répond : "bien sûr mon fils, regarde-toi, tu es tout blanc, tu as de la fourrure, bien sûr que tu es un ours polaire !" Silence pendant un petit moment. Puis, alors que son père et lui pêchent, le petit ours dit "Papa, papa, tu es vraiment sûr que je suis un ours polaire ?" Son père réponde : " oui, écoute, je suis un ours polaire, ta maman est une ourse polaire, tu es un ours polaire, c'est sûr !". Un peu plus tard, le petit ours repose sa question. Alors son père lui demande : "mais pourquoi tu me demande ça ?" et le petit ours, tout confus, lui dit "parce que j'ai froid !". I hope it made you smile, at last a little If you need anything else, just ask !
[ March 22, 2005, 09:12 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Oh, thanks a lot ! I smile again and your story is laughly ! I can work now. Mille mercis. Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Epilogue :
There is now two mounths this story finished. Actually, i continue to see her, and to speak with her frequently. But a couple of week, i realise there is no reason to love her. We have many differences and we couldn't live together. She has become a good friend.
I notice a strange parallele phenomenum. During all the time of this story, i play chess very bad. I lost all my games. All ! I couldn't play good. For this couple of week, since i met her, i play better and better. Amazing, No ?
But, a thing stay broken. I lose all my trust on me. I'd like go again, but i depreciate me. I have this strange feeling that no woman may be interested by me. I think it's some after-effect.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Choobak, you are wonderful, charming and delightful. I'm sorry I missed this thread before now.
I don't have any advice, just comfort. Take what time your heart needs to heal. Be good to yourself. Life is just like this sometimes. It's not you.
Don't slam shut any doors and don't lose your trust. Clearly the girl, whomever she may be, was rather foolish. I don't mean to speak ill of her because she must be awesome if you care about her so much, but perhaps she lacks some wisdom or steadiness.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
quote:I have this strange feeling that no woman may be interested by me. I think it's some after-effect.
Don't ever let yourself think this. Just keep being your fabulous self. But I know how you feel and I know it's tough.
*hugs*
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
You know, it's an incredible thing that happened to me. I never had such feeling with somebody. So, when she said she doesn't love me but just like me, i felt in a deep abyss. I discover how i feel alone and with a lack. I discovered i research an achievement. And i lost it.
Now i am free, Somebody is interested ? Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*giggle*
Choobak, you are too sweet for your own good. It's going to get you in trouble one of these days. Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I'm glad you can feel that way Choobak. You are adorable, and there's no chance that you won't find someone. (hugs) Tu me rends plein d'espoir.
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Why full of hope ? I'd like...
[ May 16, 2005, 05:28 AM: Message edited by: Choobak ]
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
You know what, Choobak? It only takes one. Just one. One woman to find you fascinating, interesting, captivating, full of life... That's all it takes.
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
Yes. Just one. I hope If Ryuko is full of hope, a woman may bet his hope in me.
"Where you are, i won't disapoint you !"
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Wow, Choobak, what are you doing awake at this hour?!
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
and you ? I have a little insomnia. But now i go to sleep.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
I should go to sleep, but I'm just too happy about it! Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Choobak, you're awesome! Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I can't wait to meet you people in October. Assuming, of course, that that's still on!
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I fail to see a reason why it would be off I'm so impatient to meet everybody too !
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
And me !!! I train me to heard in english by watching some Fraggle Rock episodes.
Hep, Tatiana, you're nice, but i'm not so awesome. I'm simply a normal man.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
quote:Originally posted by Choobak: Hep, Tatiana, you're nice, but i'm not so awesome. I'm simply a normal man.
That's WHY you're awesome! How many "normal" men do you still see out there?!
Edit: And of course the Paris weekend's still on!
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
BTW, Choobak, if you want to improve your English, you should become a "listening member" of the Hatrack reading aloud club!
Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
And now, two girl are interested by me... ouch ! I appreciate very much the two... But a ghost stay in my shadow. I am understanding nothing. What is happening ? I must sleep, i think. It's 3:40 AM.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Yeah, you should sleep! Posted by Choobak (Member # 7083) on :
After a good sleep, i decide to invite one of them in a jazz club : Le caveau des oubliettes. A very famous place of jazz. She said to be interested. So i'll try to know her better...
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I'm simply a normal man. ![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
i continue to laugh...
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
I DON'T recommend this... It's already late, but if you can you should have some linden tea to calm you down and go to sleep afterwards.![[Sleep]](graemlins/sleep.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)