Here's my deal. I'm working full time as a teacher and going to school part-time to get my masters degree. I'm trying to take care of an aging mother and a mentally handicapped brother. I realize I have over-extended myself and I'm wondering if I could possibly bring myself to settle for mediocre at school. Would it be OK to not get straight A's and do my very best, or would I regret it, or not be happy? I realize this is something only I can answer, but I was wondering if anyone out there has ever settled for something less than their best and been able to be happy with the results?
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Is it obvious that you will indeed get straight As if you do your best? A Master's thesis is pretty tough. Settling for mediocre is one thing, but settling for a fail?
Posted by UTAH (Member # 5032) on :
No, you are right, it isn't a done deal that I'll get an A, but I have always worked my butt off to do all that I can in hopes of getting those A's. I would never settle for failure, but I'm wondering if I could ever settle for mediocre. Maybe not have to work quite so hard. . .
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
When I was in high school, I didn't care much about my grades. I got grades across the board -- some As, some Bs, and the occasional C.
By the time I got to college, I was more interested in getting good grades. I quickly learned that I could work hard in some classes -- and still get B+'s. My first year I worked pretty hard, and got mostly As and a couple Bs (frustratingly, in my major-subject classes).
My second year, I was pregnant -- nauseated, tired, having difficulty focusing -- and I decided it was ok to get a C in the honors class I had stupidly signed up for. And with a kid (and two near the end), and for part of the time a job, I made the decision that it was ok to get a B or C (or take a class for Pass/No Pass) more than once during the next few years.
I got my degree. Since I had no plans to go to grad school immediately (no idea if I will go, at this point), the only person who really cared about my GPA was/is me. And since I did get a fair number of As, it's not bad -- and yes, I'm really ok with that. School was not my highest priority, and I make no apologies for that.
Good luck with dealing with all you have on your plate right now. It sounds like a lot of stress. Only you can decide if giving yourself permission to get the occasional B would make you less stressed or more.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Grades are only part of the story, UTAH. You have lots on your plate - and good grades but an exhausted, worn down you might not be very compatible.
I did the college thing as a single parent with a medically fragile, frequently hospitalized child, a grandmother needing care, through a marriage and divorce, an unexpected death of a parent . . . the list goes on. I needed to maintain a high GPA for scholarships and grants, but my last semester I settled for making it out alive and with my degree intact.
You'll do what you need to and what's right for you, but you might want to really consider what you need to take the best possible care of you.
My .02 - Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Is there a way you can lighten the load in other ways as well? State assistance for your brother, for instance, or assisted living for mom?
You still might decide you need to give somewhat less than 100% to your classes, because even with help your situation can be emotionally draining. But it might make the difference between getting okay grades and feeling okay and getting okay grades and being a run-down wreck.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
My advice - withdraw from school. Go back when things are settled more with your family situation.
You don't need the degree to get a job, you already have one. I realize how important a master's can be in a teacher's career, I'm in education right now and I plan on getting my master's too, but now is probably not the right time for you to be in school.
Also, in the master's program I've looked at, a 3.0 GPA is required - and if you think you can't keep up a strong A-B showing in school, you may not get credit for the course anyway.
School will be there - sounds like your mom and brother need you more now. And you need to think about yourself - you only have so much emotional energy to spread around. You can always go back to school later.
In my case, I'm going back 15 years after I started!
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
Would your grades matter to your future employers, or is it enough to simply have a Master's degree?
I read somewhere that having a Master's degree automatically bumps you up in the teacher's pay scale regardless of what grades you received. If that is what you're after, who cares what kind of grades you get?
But if you are planning on becoming a college instructor, then I would assume your grades would matter.
Off topic question: Is a JD equivalent of a Masters for purposes of determining teaching pay scales?
Edited to add: You make me feel like an underachiever.
[ February 07, 2005, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Beren One Hand ]
Posted by UTAH (Member # 5032) on :
Thank you everyone, for your kind thoughts and advice. It's exactly what I needed to hear. I've decided for this one 45 hour practicum, I'm doing what is required, but not to my usual over-the-top standards. It is due tomorrow and then I will only have one class for the rest of the semester. I think I'll be able to manage that. Since the practicum is a pass/fail grade, I'm not too worried about the grade. It's just the devil inside me that says, "You didn't do your best." Then the angel on my shoulder says, "You did the best you could for the circumstances you are in right now." Anyway, thanks so much. By the way Beren, what is a JD? I don't think I'm familiar with that degree. Belle, I'm going back 11 years after I started. When I wrote to you guys, I'd just spent the week-end in the hospital with my mom, so I was feeling stressed. She's out now and doing better, so things don't seem quite so bad. Thanks for letting me unload. I truly appreciate your advice and good wishes.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: Then the angel on my shoulder says, "You did the best you could for the circumstances you are in right now."
*nods vigorously*
(((((UTAH))))) Sounds like you made a good choice.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)