This is topic Second-guessing my taste in baby shower gifts in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I love to come up with original ideas for baby showers, but other people never seem that thrilled with what I give. For instance, I gave my sister-in-law, a first-time mom, an ear thermometer (which I realized we needed the first time Emma got a fever), infant Tylenol, and a notebook with baby faces decoupaged on the cover containing a list of emergency phone numbers, dividers and plastic sleeves for articles on child health, social/emotional development, finances, etc., with a few articles in each section to get her started, a pouch for baby coupons (also with a few to get her started), a infant/toddler dosage chart with weight/dosgage for liquid and concentrated Tylenol and Advil, as well as liquid Benadryl, and blank calendar pages to keep track of doctor's appointments, etc. My husband thought it was great, and so did I; I made one for myself, in fact. Neither my sister-in-law, who is usually very into stuff like that, nor any of her friends seemed interested in it. They passed around all the clothes, toys, and a "first 5 years handprint kit", but my gift sat on the table, ignored except by a few women who looked at it with raised eyebrows.

That was just one of the more recent of a long line of "original" and apparently strange baby gifts. (There have been a few people who loved their gifts, but I still heard their other guests saying, "That's kind of a strange gift" when they thought I wasn't in the room.)

Now I'm going to a surprise shower for a woman in my ward who just had her 3rd girl, 4th child. I'm sure most people are going to bring her pink baby clothes she doesn't need very much and/or diapers and wipes.

Strange person that I am, I went out and got gift cards for a restaurant and movie theater, to be accompanied by a card in which I wrote the following note:
quote:
Congratulations on your new baby girl!

I know when ours came, there were a lot of things we needed, but after a few months, what we needed most was some "grown-up time"!

So have some grown-up time on me. Go out for dinner or a nice, leisurely Saturday lunch and a movie, and don't worry about finding a babysitter; just call me at least a week in advance, so I can make sure either my husband or my mother-in-law will be around for Emma, and I'll be happy to watch your kids.

Love,

Anne

Am I totally out of line? Should I ditch the idea and give her diapers instead? Is it just bad luck that my brilliant ideas fall on hard hearts? What do you think? [Dont Know]
 
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
 
Lessee...
4th Child,
3rd Girl,
free dinner alone with her husband, a movie, and a babysitter?

She'd have to be nuts not to like your gift!

Now, if it was her first child, I would think it was tacky. But it's number 4!!!! She needs this. [Wink]
 
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
I think it's great, especially for a 4th child. Go with it.

I love giving more creative gifts... I go to more wedding showers than baby showers, but I hate "just" giving something off the registry. What I usually do is pick something moderately priced off the registry and then expand on it... Once I got a muffin tin off the list, and then added some really snazzy measuring cups, a whisk, and a couple of packages of extra-indulgent gourmet muffin mix. Another time I bough candles and holders from the list, and threw in a fire extinguisher (they were moving into their first house, too, from apartments) and a couple of boxes of matches. In both cases the couples loved it, so maybe I just have better luck with recipients than you do...
 
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
I am about to have #4, and I say that's a TERRIFIC gift! I would so so be all over that! ( I know I'm going to get clothes I don't need though [Frown] )
 
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
Are the people at your baby shower people with one child or no children?
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
That's what I thought! The sister in question is very sweet, and I'm pretty sure she'll appreciate the thought I put into it. But I have this feeling some of the other women are going to talk.
 
Posted by Allegra (Member # 6773) on :
 
Yours gifts are far more thoughtful and practical then a pink outfit. I think the card is a wonderful idea. She would also appreciate things like: spa day, massage, or coupons for nights of free babysitting.
*note to self: invite ketchupqueen to a baby shower if I ever have one*
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Usually the baby showers I go to are populated by a mix of people with no kids and people with several. [Dont Know]
 
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
 
Your gifts sound a whole lot better than anything I've seen at a baby shower.

I gave something like your first example to a friend leaving for college for his birthday. It was a kit of useful stuff nobody else would give him for his birthday. Stuff he'd end up buying himself once he had moved away from home like a nail clipper, shoes, duct tape, extra whiteboard pens...

And I always like getting presents like your "grown-up time" kit. I'm sure it will be enjoyed.
 
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
KQ,
Your gifts may not get a high percntage of the obligatory oohs and ahhs, but I bet you anything those moms are thanking their lucky stars for the ear thermometers. etc. later on.
 
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
Creative gifts are totally the way to go, KQ. Besides, yours are creative, thoughtful, and useful.

quote:
I love giving more creative gifts... I go to more wedding showers than baby showers, but I hate "just" giving something off the registry. What I usually do is pick something moderately priced off the registry and then expand on it...
Hey, me too! My favorite thing is to see if they have canisters or tupperware on their registry. Then I buy those, fill them with candy, and put them back in the boxes. Mwa-ha-ha! I also like to give board games for wedding presents.

Then there's my friend Kristin, who is always the risque gift-giver. (as risque as Mormon bridal showers get) She always buys this kids' brand of body paint for the tub.
 
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
Yeah, how long is a baby in any one size anyway? The practical gifts last much longer.

(spa! massage!)
 
Posted by dawnmaria (Member # 4142) on :
 
I had my first child in October. At my shower, I was bombed with cute little outfits. Most of them she never got to wear because she IS sasquatch! 3 months old and pushing 15 pounds and 26 inches! I would have loved a gift like the book you put together! The gifts I loved the most were the most practical. One friend made her a patchwork play mat. Another fav was a whole kit with lavendar scented bath stuff. She smells so sweet! I applaud your originality! Don't let them get you down!
Check out BigFoot: http://www.darthunix.com/gallery/album18/IMG_0765
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
The successful gift is not the one that gets oohed and ahhed over at the party, but the one that gets used (or hopefully not used, but ready to be used [Smile] ) for years to come.

Keep it up!
 
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
KQ, your instincts sound good to me, but I have to admit that your gifts, merely by virtue of being more original and thoughtful, are also by definition more personal and intimate. This may be a little off-putting to people who aren't comfortable with that -- or who lack much imagination and/or empathy. And believe you me, such people are not uncommon. [Smile]

Creative gifts are wonderful for creative people, and will be appreciated; they will also be appreciated by people to whom you're genuinely close, and who are expecting something personal. But if your recipient doesn't fall into either category, you may decide to play it safe and just be dull.
 
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
In our first three months of life or so, my four siblings and I wore the same sets of clothes. You only need so many baby clothes 'cuz they grow so quick [Wink] . I plan to pillage my parents basement for clothes when (and if) I have children.

A baby-usable thermometre is a very good idea, but I can see what is going through the people's heads. You're supposed to be celebrating life and by giving baby-health related objects, you're implying that the baby is going to be ill.

(I personally would be happy to get a thermometre, but I wouldn't be so sure about the medication- I'd prefer to buy medication as it is necessary)
 
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
KQ, I think your gift idea is wonderful!

My favorite gift for first time moms is books of games to play with babies and toddlers. They don't get much shower oohs and aahs, but I get calls months later saying how much use they are getting out of the books and what fun it is to try new activities with their babies.

My favorite gift I received when I was going to have my daughter was a gift certificate to the photo studio and a box of photo-window cards to send out.

I found with both my son and daughter that it is possible to have too many baby blankets. Both of them had at least a dozen of them, which is a little overkill. I don't give baby blankets as gifts anymore.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Teshi, she had registered for that, and for the baby nail clippers I also got her. It's just that everyone else went for the "fun" stuff.
 
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
KQ, you are more than welcome to give me gifts like that should I ever have children. I love what you're describing, and it sounds so much better to me than anything I could ever come up with.
 
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Good idea... most people give common gifts anyway. Uncommon is good. I thought the first idea was good too. Very practical, just not cute but she'd apprieciate it later I guess.
 
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
I did a medical type kit baby gift once and the mother thanked me politely but there was little else said.

Three months later she stopped me to tell me how much she appreciated everything I'd given her - so much of it had come in handy. Sometimes people don't fully appreciate a gift right away.

I think your gifts are wonderful, and as a mother of four, I would have loved that dinner and movie deal!
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Syn, you didn't see the decoupage on the front of the notebook-- it was very cute! It had baby faces making different expressions and the word "baby" vertically down the front.
 
Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
 
I would love to get those kind of gifts at a shower. Keep it up. Like others have said sometimes people don't get the value of a gift until later.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Thanks for the support, guys. I feel better about my gifts. (And since I am good friends with the sister in question, I think she'll be thrilled with the gift. Her kids love me, too, which is also a plus.)
 
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Super cute ^^
 
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
 
kq, I think it's a fantastic gift. I'll be happy to get something like that when I finally need a baby shower.

I almost never give clothes or blankets. The one exception is my friend Jim and Amy's daughter - I'm her official wardrobe consultant. For people I'm very close to, I give Tiffany Man in the Moon teething rattles. Everyone else gets a cross-stitched announcement or bib (which I also give to the close people) and a gift certificate.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Those are adorable gifts, Mrs. M. I mean, you put a lot of work into them, and they're awesome, too.

Why don't I do something like that? Because I'm weird.
 
Posted by Lady Jane (Member # 7249) on :
 
I think the gifts sound wonderful.
 
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
 
Cute idea, kq! But some people just don't "get into" things like that or appreciate them. Though I loooove to handmake gifts, if I don't know the person really well or feel they'll appreciate it, I go with a standard store-bought bland gift. No sense wasting my time and creativity when I could be working on something for someone who would appreciate it. There are some friends who I've never made anything for, but then there are friends like the one I have who's due any moment now. Her baby shower was one week after my miscarriage, and I had to finish the blanket I was making for her babe. If it would have been anyone else I would have said "forget it." But I knew how much she would appreciate it.

space opera
 
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
 
I'm hoping ketchupqueen gets my name in the next Hatrack gift exchange ...
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
SO, I don't go to baby showers for people I'm not fairly good friends with/related to. It just gets to be too much for me. I may send a small store-bought gift, or a card and a Target gift card, but my time is pretty taken up with my own life, otherwise. I guess you're nicer about it, going even when you don't know them well enough to make something you really care about.
 
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
 
Those sound like great gifts to me, KQ. I knew someone on another forum years ago who said that her standard baby shower gift was a full baby-first-aid kit: bulb syringe, medicine droppers, thermometer, medications, all that stuff, plus just little incidental things like infant nail clippers and stuff that you never realize you'll need until it's suddenly a middle-of-the-night emergency. I think it's great that more experienced moms can share their wisdom with newer ones.
 
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
 
kq, sadly enough, I include several relatives in the showers that I attend but I don't put any effort into. [Wink]

space opera
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Well, yes. If my other sister-in-law ever has a baby, I'm not getting anything that's not on her registry, and I wouldn't be caught dead at any shower of hers without a gender-appropriate outfit for a gift. But it seems to me like sometimes people would appreciate the gifts I give a little more if everyone else wasn't saying they're strange.

[ January 25, 2005, 02:16 PM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
 
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
I think your gift ideas are great. I can somewhat understand first time parents being a little less enthused about the medical kit gift because they just don't know how much they're going to need it. A few months after the birth, they'll realize just how great it is.

For first time parents, we now give a swaddling blanket that has velcro tabs on it for easy swaddling and the Happiest Baby on the Block video. They saved our lives. Maybe they can save someone else's.
 
Posted by Lady Jane (Member # 7249) on :
 
They are amusing, creative, and different. Sometimes that makes people nervous, especially when they are participating in a prescribed social ritual.
 


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