...you know, the sort of thing you would put on a bumper sticker. But ones that tell the story that the state would rather not emphasize.
Examples:
Texas: We are full of ourselves for no good reason.
Utah: Mormons as far as the eye can see, except for where there is sagebrush. And there are Mormons there too.
Kansas: Driving thru our state kills brain cells, so we will make a fortune off of your speeding tickets.
Feel free to replace ones already posted if you think you've got a better one. Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
About a third of them would be "At least we aren't _____" (fill in state that they like to mock).
For example, Oklahoma could be "At least we aren't Arkansas".
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Here's a city slogan: Baltimore - all the charm of a northern city, all the efficiency of a southern city.
I'm efficient with my offendin'
Dagonee
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
Missouri - Gateway to Kansas
Oregon - To Hell with how they do it in California!
Posted by Ginol_Enam (Member # 7070) on :
quote:For example, Oklahoma could be "At least we aren't Arkansas".
That made me chuckle.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Kansas-Yes, it really is that flat.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
We need this one...
Rhode Island: NOT a part of NY
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
But, but, it's so *small*!
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Rhode Island: Size doesn't matter.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
Alaska: Yes. Yes, it does.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Minnesota's would definitely be "At least we're not North/South Dakota".
Actually, another good one is "Not the coldest state in the union since 1959."
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Iowa: We're not just corn!
California: Our governor can beat up your governor.
California: Our governor can't pronounce your state's name either.
Minnesota: Proud sponsor of WWF
Nevada: Yeah, yeah, Vegas is that way --->
West Virginia: Nope, you must've made a wrong turn at Pennsylvania.
Florida: Winter Headquarters of The Empire State
Florida: Bienvenidos a Cuba Norte
Florida: Key West is just like New Orleans. Trust us.
Georgia: Fabulous Peaches and prisons.
Montana: What're you lookin' here for? Look up! It's the sky. BIG SKY!
Washington: Catch a Ferry?
Texas: Repellant Borders!
Oregon: We used to have trees. Lots of 'em.
Idaho: Dan Quayle's nemesis: P-O-T-A-T-O-E-S
Colorado: Praying for California's economy to improve again. Go Home! Really! Now! We mean it.
Mississippi: I-10 runs through it
Louisiana: Party! Parrrrr-teeeee. Unless you're from around here.
Louisiana: We have no idea who we are.
Pennsylvania: We sure now how to pick industries, don't we?
New Jersey: The Garden State: Keep off the grass.
New Jersey: We wiped out NYC's shipping industry.
New Jersey: Which exit are you from?
Massachusetts: What accent?
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
Alaska: We make Texas look puny.
Alaska: Gateway to Russia.
Alaska: Like Canada, but with fewer Canadians.
Alaska: Warm nearly four whole months a year.
Alaska: The sun never sets on Alaska. Except in the winter, when it never rises.
Alaska: The only state Orson Scott Card hasn't visited yet. But he should. Please Mr. Card? I'll do your laundry. . . .
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
Arizona: Yes, it really is that hot here!
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Utah: Yes, I am a Mormon, but it's not safe to assume that just because I'm from Utah. Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Alaska, Nunavut, NWT and Yukon: Land of the Midday Gloom.
Posted by Khavanon (Member # 929) on :
Florida: We can spell geriatric
California: Delusions of grandeur are welcome here
Texas: My little three year old could shoot the walnuts off your little yorkie from 300 yards
Oregon: Stay out
Delaware: It's not like you're going to read this anyway
Arizona: You could try to rob me, if you can get through my prickly yard
North Dakota: A little more confident than Delaware
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
Utah: We'd like to share a special message with you
West Virginia: We do TOO have electricity
New Jersey: No motto, because NJ is not actually a state. The western half is just Pennsylvania with better Italian food, and the eastern half is what happened when NYC metastatized.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Rhode Island: So what if the name doesn't fit inside the state on any map?
North Carolina: Ummm...Michael Jordan?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Yozhik wins points for the Utah motto, but loses them all for the NJ motto. Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
Awww, Rivka, I loved NYC metastasizing!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Alaska: Nine months of winter, three months of bad sledding.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I'm from NJ, originally. It has an identity distinct from NY and Pennsylvania, thankyewverymuch. Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Arizona: Yes, but it's a dry heat.
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
Utah: Churches, the Starbucks of Utah, one on every corner... just without the coffee.
Posted by Tstorm (Member # 1871) on :
Actually, Kansas has a new motto, for promotional purposes. I've seen some of the ads.
I actually kinda liked the older motto, "Land of Ahs," but I guess the new one works.
<drumroll>
"Kansas: As Big as You Think"
Let the renewed Kansas jokes begin again.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
No one has done a Michigan one yet? Well I guess I'll have to represent.
Michigan: We look like a mitten.
Michigan: You mean you DON'T know how to play Euchre?
Michigan: Gateway to Canada
Michigan: We make cars, cars and Vernor's.
Yeah I can't think of a whole lot for my own state, I guess we're just too awesome to make fun of.
Montana: How fast can you drive?
Wyoming: What's the point?
Texas: We used to be our own country!
California: Our GNP is higher than Africa's, booyah!
I'm really not good at this, I should go back to the ad campaign thread.
Posted by Lucky4 (Member # 1420) on :
Tennessee: What? Shoes are uncomfortable!
Tennessee: I see Elvis at least twice a week.
Tennessee: Marry your cousin, there's fewer people to invite to the wedding.
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
Where in NJ were you from, rivka? I've lived up in Hunterdon County since 2003, but I'm originally from Pennsylvania.
And do you say "cawfee" instead of "coffee"?
[ January 23, 2005, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Yozhik ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Edison. Which is not far from Princeton, which is where I was born.
[edit] We left when I was seven, so I only have a very slight accent, and only on some words. I do not say "cawfee" *shudder*.
[ January 23, 2005, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]
Posted by Hermocrates of Syracuse (Member # 7233) on :
Indiana: We came up with Gary, Micheal Jackson, and Ron Artest
Indiana: Stuck in the middle with nothin to do
Indiana: Slightly less inbred than Kentucky
Indiana: Home of men driving in circles 200 times
Indiana: Nuke us, please
Indiana: Car jacking around these parts is called assisted suicide
[ January 23, 2005, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: Hermocrates of Syracuse ]
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Montana: Sorry it's windy; Idaho blows and North Dakota sucks.
Montana: Almost like heaven - it will be when you move out.
Indiana: One big granfaloon
Colorado: Welcome to Colorado, a registered trademark of North Face.
Wyoming: Civilization, 783 miles
Washington: 3 days of glorious sunlight a year
Texas: You can't spell Texas without W.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
North Dakota: We're the one without Mount Rushmore.
Kentucky: Where the grass is always bluer.
Iowa: Tune to 610 on your dial for the latest Farm Report.
Michigan: Future rust belt of America.
Washington: Housing bubble by Microsoft.
Illinois: Where the dead come to vote.
Vermont: The other cheeseheads
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Wisconsin: Lactose intolerant need not apply
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
Oklahoma:We really do have paved roads.
Oklahoma:At least we can read our ballots.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Washington: Don't like our weather? Wait 5 minutes.
Washington: The Mildew State
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
There's more than corn in Indiana, but not much more.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Just barely popped my head back in here. Some of these are great! I think I will make a list of my favorites.
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
Hey! You all forgot the rest of New England! And there is so much fodder available!
New Hampshire - Live free or DIE! (and that ones real!) New Hampshire - Get off my land or DIE! New Hamphsire - Get off my sheep or DIE! New Hampshire - Where hard headed takes on a whole new meaning... New Hampshire - The Granite balls state
Vermont - Bring your mother! Vermont - Soft green hills and soft green politics. What more could you want? Vermont - Hey, California? This is Burlington... could we come over there, please? They smell bad out there. We'll bring Ben and Jerry...
Maine - If you aint Canadian, we dont want ya, ayup.
Massachusets - Massholes
[ January 23, 2005, 07:28 PM: Message edited by: foundling ]
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
Vermont - Did you know that Montpelier is the state capital? Neither did we.
Posted by Risuena (Member # 2924) on :
quote: Here's a city slogan: Baltimore - all the charm of a northern city, all the efficiency of a southern city.
I have to defend Baltimore - Washington is the city famously known for it's northen charm and southern efficiency.
Besides, Baltimore already has two unofficial city mottos - the city that bleeds and the city that breeds, because it certainly isn't the city that reads, no matter what the mayor says.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
New Hampshire: We take "Or Die" very seriously.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Foundling, those were awesome. Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Washington: Don't like our weather? Wait 5 minutes.
In every place I've ever lived, the people said that about that place. They always think it's a really clever way of distinguishing them from everybody else. Just like everybody else does.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Missouri--not Misery. Missouri--Yeah, we got Branson.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
And I don't think it applies to Washington at all . This phrase only applies to states with turbulent weather--you know, big thunderstorms that blow through like the maw of hell itself, and then all is sunny and peaceful in 5 minutes. Basically, any state in the mid-west.
In Washington it's more like: Don't like our weather? Tough. Go somewhere else. Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Wisconsin: Drink milk or die
Posted by Taberah (Member # 4014) on :
New Hampshire: See our only state landmark, the Old Man of the Moun--NOOOOO!!
Random fact about New Hampshire: the (real) state motto, "Live Free or Die," appears on all New Hampshire license plates. Those license plates are made in . . . you guessed it, the state prisons.
And now to my own dear state. North Carolina: Only "North" in the sense that we're above South Carolina, dagumit.
North Carolina: Krispy Kreme and Orson Scott Card
North Carolina: Don't screw with us, or we'll bring out Jesse Helms.
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Wyoming: Where the Men are Men, and the sheep are scared
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland - or - We Wish We Were In Michigan
New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
I forgot my favorite state! Washington: Help! We've Been Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
taberah: Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
California: Please don't ask us about our fourth largest cash crop. We like the money, but we don't want to talk about it.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Texas: If we arrest you for murder, you have a right to a lawyer. Since it's for free, your counsel doesn't have to stay awake, stay sober or be competent.
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
Indiana: 2 Billion Years, Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk - or - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians!
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Wow. I see a lot of rips on Delaware. I know nothing about Delaware. What's the bad rep for?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Maine: You can't get here from there.
Alaska: We don't need no stinkin' roads.
Missouri: Kansas for the rest of us.
Massachusetts: Well, actually, we're a Commonwealth.
Hawaii: Book 'em, Dano.
Hawaii: Shaka Bra'
Hawaii: Howlie go home.
Hawaii: A gift from the USMC to you!
Hawaii: Welcome to little Tokyo.
Utah: No! We don't do that anymore.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Utah: We don't think "Wasatch" sounds very cool either.
Utah: No, you can't jump into the Great Salt Lake from the top of Moroni.
Utah: Curvy borders are for wusses.
Nevada: What happens here stays here, at least until the wind changes.
Minnesota: Land of many cultures, mostly throat.
Minnesota: Lake supplier to the free world.
Minnesota: ICNUDU?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Arkansas: Yes, we are a state.
Arkansas: Yes, Bill Clinton is from here. Stop bringing it up.
Utah: If you're from Arkansas, we're sure to bring up Bill Clinton.
[ January 24, 2005, 12:40 AM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
quote: Utah: We don't think "Wasatch" sounds very cool either.
Sounds like "sasquatch" or something....
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Utah: Home of the original holy war.
Utah: Although how they're actually going to lift the whole darned state up into heaven is anybody's guess.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Utah: Home of the original holy war.
That don't make no sense!
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I know that it makes sense with every fiber of my being.
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