It's time to wring in the New Year with puns. So join us under the Sign of the Auld Lang, and we'll get this party started...
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Hmmph. I hate this time of year, with all the singing insects.
Bah! Hum bugs!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
No L.
Ha hahahahahahahaha
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Some anti-social people fake an injury to avoid going to parties. They stay home and eat cooked bread (with butter from the fridge).
They seem to think their sham pain toast is fulfilling, somehow.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
It's been several years since I got to bring in the new year with my buddy Richard Lark. I do so miss celebrating with Dick Lark.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Too bad he didn't drop the ball this time.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm assuming that most folks have or are in the process of taking down their Christmas decorations but I still want to wish everyone Happy Hollydays.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
That's berry nice of you.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Holly Berry? Where's the mistletoe when you need it?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I remember the days of tin roofs, believe it or not. My grandfather sold them, but he always said that tin sells cheap.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Did he fish? I used to go after those fish with the really long, toothy mouths. They really put up a fight. When the gar lands, it's time to celebrate.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
My mother used to make us construct tree decorations out of mints that were tasteless and crass. She always made a big production out of hanging the ornery mints on the tree.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
My mom used to not let us use the computer over Christmas. She'd say, "You'll log in when the fire dies down, not before!"
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
My Uncle Pat always came over for the holidays. To this day, I am not sure if he was a menorrah woman.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
It annoyed me enough that advent about it to my friends.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Did your Uncle Pat have lots of bad luck like mine? I asked my uncle how he was feeling after Christmas, and he said, "How do you think I feel after being canned? Ill."
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm reminded of an old flame I had named Carol. My friend was of the opinion that Carol was just using me as a stop-gap boyfriend until she could land a rich fella. He used to say, "You'll tide Carol over until she lands a sugar daddy".
[ January 01, 2005, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
My favorite Christmas singer is Awreathra Frankincense.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ou Christmas puppy is kind of pathetic. I think it has mange er something.
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
Every year when we're decorating the tree, I needle my parents about the fact that I don't have a Baby's First Christmas ornament.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Too bad. those ornaments really spruce things up. I wouldn't pine over it too much, though.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'll bough to your superior wisdom in this matter.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I wonder Whoville take over the Christmas traditions in my family when my grandmother passes on?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'm not sure who they'll end up picking. They'll need someone to fill in - it'll probably be the Grinch, meantime.
[ January 01, 2005, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I always got "learning toys" for Christmas. My dad was trying to cultivate presents of mind.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I've always thought that giving exclusively educational toys can creche your spirit.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yeah, but I love my new Dayrunner. Nothing like a good time manger!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I wish there were button to turn off certain negative behaviors. The first thing I would do is turn everyone's "Rude" off.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Don't make me rein you in, dear....
[ January 02, 2005, 01:27 AM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Yes but if you turned everyone's "Rude" off, all we'd be left with is a bunch of brown nosers!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
My catholic friend likes to tell a story about his middle daughter and Christmas Eve. They like to attend Mass and everyone is running around trying to get ready. There is, apparently, much shouting about hurrying up or they'll miss Mass. The daughter once said, "Oh, its Cries Mass time again".
[ January 02, 2005, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
In the original draft of Gone with the Wind, Scarlett and all her friends die in a murder/suicide pact to protest the burning of Atlanta.
But the slay belles ring was cut from the story before it was published.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm sure that everyone has a friend that basks in bucking tradition. You know, the type that flaunts their rebellious nature? I've got a buddy like that. This time of year he revels in his practice of implementing new ways to thumb his nose at authority. He calls it his New Years Revolutions.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am excited about the new Kojak show coming on USA! However, I don't think the new actor will have the same shaped egg noggin that Telly Savales had.
Posted by Desdemona (Member # 7100) on :
Canadians get sunburnt when they exercise the right to bare arms.
not really a pun. sorry
[ January 02, 2005, 03:53 PM: Message edited by: Desdemona ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Maybe they just need some really hot coffee. You know, some Polar Express-o.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
A farmer had two pig pens, one in back, one in front. Each hired hand assigned to keep it clean. A visitor was surprised when he saw that the one assigned to the front was a woman. He said, "The hired hand in the fro sty - tha's no man!"
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You know, some people are just SICK. I tell you, it is not enough that there are magazines like Playboy and Playgirl? Now my Boston friend's Irish Setter is demanding his own subscription to a Dog Breeder's Journal. What a porn settah.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)