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With over one hundred awards and first place trophies, Grossmont's Royal Blue Regiment Color Guard and Marching Band is one of, if not the best, musical groups of California. Every sweet, powerful, and inspiring melody played by the band is what moves the ladies in blue, the color guard, to dance with all their spirit, to move their flags across the air making it seem like they we're weaving colors with it. [quote Karla Slade & sam, guy with plastic riffle too]
The marching band never failed to impress any crowd or judge with their musical skills.[include megan's quote here] For a good reason too, they had to endure rigorous This year they competed in various contests including the ever popular Mother Goose Parade. [quote Jordan & Andrew here]
But that is just one face of the art of music.
There were other talented musician groups on campus this year, including our very own string orchestra. This group consisted of Violinists Salomon Peck, Chelsea BLANK, Vianey Gpe. Gonzalez, Sheila BLANK, and Fruoiland(?) BLANK; Violists Sara BLANK, and Gabriela BLANK; celists Andrew BLANK and, Ashley Heikka; and finally, basses Zachary BLANK and Sam BLANK. They participated and attended numerous concerts and events this year including the traditional Christmas in the Village held every year in downtown La Mesa. [quote sal here]
[quote that guitar player here, grab his name on the way] attend performance & describe his music.

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Every sweet, powerful, and inspiring melody played by the band is what moves the ladies in blue, the color guard, to dance with all their spirit, to move their flags across the air making it seem like they we're weaving colors with it.

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For a good reason too, they had to endure rigorous This year they competed in various contests including the ever popular Mother Goose Parade.

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First sentence is incomplete. Had to endure rigorous... rigorous what?

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They participated and attended numerous concerts and events this year including

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With over one hundred awards and first place trophies, Grossmont's Royal Blue Regiment Color Guard and Marching Band is one of, if not the best, musical groups of California. Every sweet, powerful, and inspiring melody played by the band is what moves the ladies in blue, the color guard, to dance with all their spirit, to move their flags across the air
to me, that uses the word "move" twice too close together. Can you change the second one to "wave"?

making it seem like they we're weaving colors with it. [quote Karla Slade & sam, guy with plastic riffle too]
The marching band never failed to impress any crowd or judge with their musical skills.[include megan's quote here] For a good reason too, they had to endure rigorous Did you mean 'rigors' instead of the adjective "rigorous"?

This year they competed in various contests including the ever popular Mother Goose Parade. [quote Jordan & Andrew here]
But that is just one face of the art of music.
There were other talented musician groups on campus this year, including our very own string orchestra. This group consisted of Violinists Salomon Peck, Chelsea BLANK, Vianey Gpe. Gonzalez, Sheila BLANK, and Fruoiland(?) BLANK; Violists Sara BLANK, and Gabriela BLANK; celists Andrew BLANK and, Ashley Heikka; and finally, basses Zachary BLANK and Sam BLANK. They participated and attended numerous concerts and events this year including the traditional Christmas in the Village held every year in downtown La Mesa. [quote sal here]
[quote that guitar player here, grab his name on the way] attend performance & describe his music.

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For a good reason too, they had to endure rigorous

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Incomplete?
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
It all seems a little overblown and stilted to me; if you're going to be so formal, you shouldn't be starting a sentence with "But".

(I don't intend to be mean, I'm just being honest. Sorry.)
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
But ketchupqueen... Oh, nevermind!
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
See, that's appropriate in informal conversation, such as a message board...
 

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Posted by Intelligence3 (Member # 6944) on :
 
Any thread about usage will undoubtedly contain usage errors.
 

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Posted by Intelligence3 (Member # 6944) on :
 
The Chicago Manual of Style makes a clear and compelling case in defense of beginning a sentence with a conjunction such as "but." Section 5.191 in the 15th edition. Here's the Q&A from their website:

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Q. Please help resolve a debate: Is it proper (or good) academic form to begin a sentence with a conjunction: “And I believe that is true.” “But editors differ on this rule.” “Nor is this uncommon.” I say it is improper in academic writing that is heading for publication, while others with journalism training say that it is correct. We are editors for an academic law review.

A. The fifteenth edition of CMS includes Bryan Garner’s opinion that there is “no historical or grammatical foundation” for considering sentences that begin with a conjunction such as and, but, or so to be in error (see paragraph 5.191). Fowler’s agrees (3rd ed., s.v. “and”), citing examples in the OED that date back to the ninth century and include Shakespeare. The conjunctions or and nor can be added to the list. None of this means that it is not possible to abuse the privilege. Sentences should begin with a conjunction only when the result is perfectly clear and more effective than some other alternative. What about academic writing, then? Good academic writing is of course difficult to produce, and there is no guarantee that allowing sentence-starting conjunctions improves matters. But the alternative—enforcing a baseless restriction—probably doesn’t help.

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...to move their flags across the air making it seem like they we're weaving colors with it.

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The marching band never failed to impress any crowd or judge with their musical skills.[include megan's quote here] For a good reason too, they had to endure rigorous

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The marching band never failed to impress any crowd or judge with their musical skills, and for good reason;they had to endure rigorous training sessions that often compormised their ability to perform in the classroom.

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