quote:

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The time had come. All my talk about wanting to finish my degree was finally coming to the point where I had to put up or shut up. Thirteen years of focusing primarily on being a wife and mother was about to come to an end, and I was about to focus on my own education again. So the night before the college orientation session I was predictably caught up in intense worry about what I was going to wear.

What do people wear to college these days? Should one dress up for college orientation, or do jeans suffice? I've spent five years now in mom-casual, but surely that is too mundane for a visit to a campus of higher learning?

I settled on khakis and a button down, striped shirt and brown loafers. I hoped this would portray the right combination of sophistication with a touch of casual confidence.

Once that momentous decision was out of the way, I focused on logistical problems. Orientation began at 9:00 am, but sign-in commenced at 8:30. I haven’t driven in rush hour traffic in five years, so I had no way to gauge how long my commute would take. After studying maps printed off the internet and talking with people who actually have to get up and drive in the mornings every day, I settled on leaving at 7:30.

This would be perfect – my older kids got on the school bus at 7:00. I would have thirty minutes to finish getting ready, and then leave with an entire hour to travel the distance that I was told would take me 45 minutes without traffic problems. Now that all the important things were out of the way, I could sleep. Tomorrow would be soon enough to worry about mundane concerns such as what classes I planned on registering for.

I woke up determined to put my plan into effect. I dressed quickly in my neatly laid out clothes, then brushed my teeth, applied light makeup and studied the result in the mirror. Unfortunately, I was faced with the glaring realization that in all my pre-operation planning I had neglected one thing. I forgot to purchase some hair dye and now my gray was showing.

This was bad. There would be a room full of bright, energetic eighteen year olds and I was to be the token gray haired old lady. The kids would look at me and say things like “Isn’t that sweet? The old lady is going to take some classes.”

There was nothing to be done for it, I had to move on and hope the rest of the plan stayed intact.

The first inkling I had that the planetary alignment favored Murphy’s Law came when my daughters wailed from downstairs “Mom! We just missed the bus.”

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I started this piece a few days ago and haven't finished it. Is it worth finishing?

I am never a good judge of which of my "slice of life" stories are entertaining or not. Ones I thought were terrible some people loved (and one even got published) and others I was proud of no one seemed to like.

[ December 09, 2004, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: Belle ]
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
((Belle)) I love it. Let me guess, next there was a three car pile up at the big intersection or some such?

Think of it this way, if you were willing to brave a series of disasters to go to orientation, you must be serious about getting the degree.
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
Avid, I have another unfinished one about when I was sweating out whether or not I would be admitted, until I found out the only requirements for getting into a community college are being bipedal and having a bank account. And the bipedalism is only necessary because they don't want to supply different types of chairs.

Actually the drive wasn't too bad, but it was interesting to learn more people are afraid of teaching than are afraid of death. Might make me reconsider my chosen profession....
 

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Posted by Uhleeuh (Member # 6803) on :
 
I'd like to read more if you're willing to finish it.

And what's wrong with gray hair?! I'm only 21 and I've had strands of gray hair for 10 years now. My family has a bet going for when I'll be completely gray; they're guessing 35.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
I want to know what happens next...

AJ
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
"Murphy's Law" stories are always interesting, so keep on going! Also, did you know that one of his laws states: "Murphy was an optimist"?! So everything will/has turn/ed out just fine! Hmm, on second thought, there's also a law saying "If one of Murphy's laws can fail, it will", so probably my optimism comes a little too soon?!
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
I also want to know what happens next.
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
Okay, give me an hour or so.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
More, please!
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
Okay, here's the whole thing. It's late and the ending was too abrupt and forced, but I couldn't thing of a good way to end it and set up for the next installment - I'll probably re-write the last part later, but here goes. The next installment will cover the session with my advisor (aka the women's softball coach) and the actual registration for classes. Quite an interesting tale in its own right.

quote:

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On College Orientation, Or “Once More into the Breach We Go!”

The time had come. All my talk about wanting to finish my degree was finally coming to the point where I had to put up or shut up. Thirteen years of focusing primarily on being a wife and mother was about to come to an end, and I was about to focus on my own education again. So the night before the college orientation session I was predictably caught up in intense worry about what I was going to wear.

What do people wear to college these days? Should one dress up for college orientation, or do jeans suffice? I've spent five years now in mom-casual, but surely that is too mundane for a visit to a campus of higher learning?

I settled on khakis and a button down, striped shirt and brown loafers. I hoped this would portray the right combination of sophistication with a touch of casual confidence.

Once that momentous decision was out of the way, I focused on logistical problems. Orientation began at 9:00 am, but sign-in commenced at 8:30. I haven’t driven in rush hour traffic in five years, so I had no way to gauge how long my commute would take. After studying maps printed off the internet and talking with people who actually have to get up and drive in the mornings every day, I settled on leaving at 7:30.

This would be perfect – my older kids got on the school bus at 7:00. I would have thirty minutes to finish getting ready, and then leave with an entire hour to travel the distance that I was told would take me 45 minutes without traffic problems. Now that all the important things were out of the way, I could sleep. Tomorrow would be soon enough to worry about mundane concerns such as what classes I planned on registering for.

I woke up determined to put my plan into effect. I dressed quickly in my neatly laid out clothes, then brushed my teeth, applied light makeup and studied the result in the mirror. Unfortunately, I was faced with the glaring realization that in all my pre-operation planning I had neglected one thing. I forgot to purchase some hair dye and now my gray was showing.

This was bad. There would be a room full of bright, energetic eighteen year olds and I was to be the token gray haired old lady. The kids would look at me and say things like “Isn’t that sweet? The old lady is going to take some classes.”

There was nothing to be done for it, I had to move on and hope the rest of the plan stayed intact.

The first inkling I had that the planetary alignment favored Murphy’s Law came when my daughters wailed from downstairs “Mom! We just missed the bus.”

I had a fleeting moment where I almost gave into the temptation of screaming “Well, it’s you own fault, just walk to school!” Then I realized that forcing my kids to walk three miles along very busy roads was probably against one or more laws.

With admirable restraint I didn’t yell at all, but just scurried them into the minivan and drove them to school. I was now about twenty minutes behind schedule, but no early morning catastrophe was going to keep me from my date with my own destiny.

I set out, confident that I had overcome all obstacles (with the exception of my gray hair, which I was steadfastly trying to ignore.) With trusty internet map printout in hand, I drove to the community college.

Now was not the time for me to discover that internet maps and directions should not be considered one hundred percent reliable. What looked so much like a left turn, and what was listed in the driving directions as “Turn Left on 24th Street,” is in actuality, a right turn. I know that now. I did not know that at 8:15 in the morning, on my way to orientation and in the grips of a panic attack.

Somehow I managed to find the college, park, and make my way to the student center. Some nice kids almost young enough to be my own children directed me to the room where orientation was to be held.

The initial part of orientation proceeded uneventfully. We were told many times over how much the college wanted us to succeed and that they would be happy to help us, advise us, take our checks, etc.

Finally we came down to the important stuff – breaking out into groups by majors and meeting with our advisors and registering for classes.

The first major called was for funeral science. Yes, there is such a thing! And even more surprising, five people are majoring in it.

They continued on through several more, each netting a handful or so of people, until they called nursing. At least a third of the group stood up. Good news for anyone planning to be ill in about four or five years – there should be plenty of folks available to help care for you. And, don’t forget, if the nursing students are incompetent there are five brave funeral science students ready to step in.

Once the nursing crowd filtered out, I looked around to see the group that was left. Probably about 50 folks were still waiting to hear their majors called. I expected most of them to come with me, when they got to the education group, because if there are so many people interested in helping their fellow man by going into nursing, then surely there will be dozens of folks who wish to teach the next generation.

So when the magical announcement for education majors came, I proudly stood up, and turned to see all my fellow eager, devoted future teachers.

A group of silent, calm faces stared back at me. Seated calm silent faces.

“Education majors! Anyone for elementary, secondary, or special education.”

Crickets chirped.

In the end I made my way down the hall with my two fellow education majors. Yes, three of us. Funeral science had more people. That means more people would rather work with dead bodies than teach children.

Should that concern me?

I wondered if perhaps all these nursing and funeral science majors knew something I didn’t? Is teaching really that scary of a profession that work as a mortician is preferable?

I could see the headlines now "People are more scared of teaching than death" "Teaching children a fate worse than Funeral Science" "Funeral Black the New Gray," and so forth.

I will have to give this all a little more thought. On the one hand, teaching is what I've wanted to do most of my life, and the two things I love the most are books and kids. Getting a teaching degree and then a master's in library science seemed a good way to share my love of books and reading with children.

On the other hand, I do look smashing in black. Maybe there is something to that funeral science thing after all.

NEXT WEEK: On College Registration, or "Hey, who in here is liberal?"

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[/quote]
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 


*ponders* Y'know, that is not actually a career field I have ever considered . . .
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Well, since the funeral director doesn't have to speak in public, I can see that.

From what my friends and my mom have seen, most of teaching these days is how well you do with the beaurocracy. You may spend more time dealing with admin than actually teaching. A friend of mine just got a job with a private high school and loves it. It also pays better. I think mom said they treat the librarians better, though.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 

quote:

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Good news for anyone planning to be ill in about four or five years – there should be plenty of folks available to help care for you. And, don’t forget, if the nursing students are incompetent there are five brave funeral science students ready to step in.

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AJ
 

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Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
 
Hilarious, Belle. Can't wait to read the next installments.

BTW, I'm not surprised at the funeral science majors. There's big money in funerals and you're always guaranteed business.
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
Avid, right now there is a huge shortage (at least in Alabama) of qualified educational librarians, so they do get treated very nicely. It's just hard to attract people to the field, when you get paid the same as a classroom teacher, but it requires more education.
There also aren't many places to get the degree - in Alabama there are only two MLIS programs and only one leads to a certification as a school librarian. The other is primarily for people wanting to be public librarians.

As for beauracracy, heck that is everywhere. Dealing with paperwork and the admninistration is going to be a factor in any job. I'm not averse to working in private schools, but around here they pay less, not more. And there are much fewer opportunities, many private Christian schools can't afford a full time librarian's position.
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
Belle, this is magnificent. Both the writing and your sucesses in marrying to your dreams, that is.
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 

quote:

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That means more people would rather work with dead bodies than teach children.

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
Dead people don't shoot spitballs. Usually.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

quote:

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In the end I made my way down the hall with my two fellow education majors. Yes, three of us.

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Sooo... That means you'll surely be in the top three? Cool!
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
I would be willing to bet on that even if there were 300 of them.
 

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Posted by esl (Member # 3143) on :
 
I don't think anyone would be willing to bet against you.
 

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Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
 
(this is Imogen, not signing out....)

Belle, great story-telling! Very amusing and engaging - I'd love to read more.

And by the way, I think you're going to *blitz* your course.
 

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