Of all the commodities you have, time is the most valuable. Every second of it is another chunk of your life you'll never get back, a second lost to you forever.
Mortal man must grab this time, use it, and live it to the fullest if he is to say he lived wisely, and nowhere is this more evident than when he is waiting outside a ladies dressing room in the mall.
There will always be times when you will be forced to wait, unproductively, for someone or something else. Watching someone else shop is an obvious example, especially this time of year, but there are also huge wedges of your life spent waiting for appointments, traffic, service, or (shudder) the DMV.
This is why I always travel prepared, ready to use that time to my own advantage.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Note: for the full effect, the title must be read with the long, dragged out "Ti-yi-yi-ime" wirth appropriate Mick Jagger gyrations accompanying.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
"Lingerie or corrective garments" Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
I really want to do these things....
If only I could juggle.
Posted by Coccinelle (Member # 5832) on :
I need to buy a kazoo Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:Gradually, a piece at a time, move all the really ugly clothing to one side of the shop.
::wipes booger off of screen::
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I personally love the idea of playing hackeysack in my doctor's waiting room (especially having had three appointments in the last week - I got a lot of reading done). Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Chris, you made my day, as usual. *wipes tears of laugh*
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Had I more room, there are lots of things to do at the mall. Planning your action-hero escape route is fun ("I could slide down the escalator railing on one foot, grab that Christmas garland, and swing over to drop lightly onto the cellphone accessories booth..."), and there's nothing like planning out in advance exactly what you'd do if you were to suddenly win a timed shopping spree.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
quote: If only I could juggle.
It's not hard... 5 minutes a day will have you juggling three balls in six weeks...
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
How fun!
Chris, you make me look forward to Wednesdays. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I learned how to juggle in about two hours. I was about 15 and had just seen Alan Alda juggling three sock balls on an episode of M*A*S*H. Hey, I had sock balls! I could do this! After two hours of nothing else, I got to where I could juggle reasonably well, and practice after that made it smoother. For awhile I worked with a guy who had gone to clown college and was a great juggler. He taught me how to juggle clubs (or, in our case, big screwdrivers) (We were working in a building materials store) and how to pass stuff back and forth with another juggler, but lack of practice has left those skills atrophied. Left to myself for long periods of time, I can be found juggling coins, car keys, and whatever my last purchase was. Of course, left to myself for long periods of time, I'm apt to do anything...
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Love the column. I just can't think of that song without thinking of Fallen which just creeped me out.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
I worked for a couple of years in a racquetball club and probably practiced juggling racquetballs about 4 hours a week. Every week. For a couple of years. I still can't juggle more than 3 or four times before losing the balls. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Just did the math. Dragon's method is less time, over a longer period of time. But my way was more intense. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Balls or vaguely round objects are easy for me, clubs or anything you have to flip I can juggle for about four passes before I start throwing them too far in front of me and have to lurch around the room to keep up.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
More time-wasters:
A clothing rack next to a chair, especially if there's a display of some sort nearby, can provide all the different sounds you need to do the drum solo from "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
If you have clothing purchases from another store, pull them out and inspect them while standing at a rack of the store you're presently in. Lots of fun when the other customers start visibly wondering how you found that, especially if you're in Lane Bryant but you just came from, say, Hot Topics (or vice versa).
As people pass you, nod politely, smile, and say "Potatoes" in a friendly manner. Or "Viggo."
Playing cards works in clothing stores as well, especially if you forgo games and just build card houses. If you do play games against yourself, make sure the nearest mannequin gets dealt a hand.
Are your toenails as clean as they could be?
When I was drawing more I used to carry a small drawing pad with me everywhere to sketch when I got bored. Draw passersby. For real fun (and possiboe security guard involvement) draw them in various life-threatening situations.
Posted by babager (Member # 6700) on :
I'm gonna steal the potato idea!! Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
lol
quote: Just did the math. Dragon's method is less time, over a longer period of time. But my way was more intense.
The intense version is all very nice if you have that sort of time... but for the average person I thought that the 5 min a day would be better. (seeing as learning to juggle while waiting in line isn't really the best use of time, because of all the running around the store looking for the balls that rolled away)
I bet you could find a juggling club near you, and re-learn to pass... That's one of the best things about juggling, I think, is passing with other people.
And speaking of seeing jugglers on TV, did anyone see David Letterman last Wednesday? My friend Book was on it, juggling, handcuffed, with his hands behind his back... He's awesome.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Great collumn.
Another great idea, laughter is the best medicine. Simply start laughing for no reason.
People really move quickly when you do that.
Experiment. Try the insane full body laugh, the evil genious laugh, the witches cackle, or the little girlish giggle (which works best if you are neither little nor a girl).
Deterimine for you self which brings about service, or the local constabulatory, faster.
PS on Juggling.
Here is the secret to juggling.
When you get tired of picking the balls up, you quit dropping them.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Chris! You and your wife are so fun! If only you were a bit closer to WI
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Chris! You and your wife are so fun! If only you were a bit closer to WI