How do I tell this guy that he is not fat? People always tell him that he is just big and thats the way it really is. You see, he is at least 6ft. and he's got a big body build but its not because he's fat. Isn't possible to know if someone is fat by their face? Isn't that the first thing that gets fat(among other stuff)? I hope I explained myself..
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
you must be talking to my middle son....
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
No, really -- you may be fighting against YEARS of self-image he has of himself.
My son is 6'4" -- but he wasn't always. And back when he wasn't, although he was large for his age, he did have a lot of extra weight. And got called fat.
Now he has stretched up to his current height, and slimmed down a LOT but still thinks of himself as "fat" just because he is a large frame.
I haven't been able to convince him otherwise, either.
Farmgirl
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
same problem here...
Posted by Allegra (Member # 6773) on :
It is really hard to not think of yourself the way other people tell you to. When I was in grade school I was called fat all of the time. I wasn't fat. I was just tall for my age and had a big frame. At about 10 I actually got fat because I had a bad self image and ate to compensate. I am thinner now, but it is still hard not to think of myself as fat. Especially when I am around thin people with small frames. I just feel so big in comparison.
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Heh - define "fat."
I am a big fellow and some of it is fat, but I also started weight-lifting in high school and I lost a neck somewhere along the way.
If you want a more analytical evaluation, you can have your body fat index measured which you then compare against the "standard" measurement for a person your age/gender.
That said, some people are legitimately big-boned and will never, ever be a slim, trim body. Short and stocky can actually be a genetic trait.
As several people have noted, "fat" is a nasty and negative observation applied to a person by his or her social group and is ultimately a poor descriptor of anyone.
-Trevor
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
I do agree with that, a better word would be overweight...
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Allegra, OMG you are me. When I was in grade school, people called me fat and I did the same thing, basically. I realized this over the last year or so. I wasn't really overweight, just on the high side of average before people made fun of me. (sigh)
And to AofD in the original post, there really isn't anything you can do to MAKE this person change his self-image. (sigh) If there was, I'd have told my friends to do it already.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
The problem isn't in thinking he's fat, but rather the attitude the idea results in. I'm a big guy (6'3", 270lbs), so I get to thinking I'm fat sometimes as well, but the real trick is to realize that it's not a bad thing. Now, if someone is morbidly obese it's a bad thing, sure. But being 40 pounds overweight (for a guy my height) isn't terrible, since a lot of it is muscle and oversized bones (Barrel-chested is a good description of me. I had my lung capacity tested once and it turns out my lungs are about 30% bigger than an average person my age and height).
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
I know a guy who's 6'6" and weighs in at 300 pounds, but I'd never describe him as fat, nor would anyone else (dare to). He's strong, he's muscled, he's. . . one tough guy without an ounce of fat on him. It's just the way he's built.
When I was younger, I thought I was fat, and my doctors told me I should lose weight just because I was over the average on those stupid weight charts. Thing is, I was strong. I mean really really strong. Could lift the front end of my car (where the engine was) off the ground. Granted, it was a 1980 Honda Civic, but still . . . I don't know many guys who could do that. When I moved, it was usually me and one other guy moving the heavy furniture. You know, couches, fridges, freezers, filing cabinets. And the other guys just stood and stared. Yep, I was strong.
In my family, we grow large muscles, and muslce is more dense than fat, so if I was that much more muscular than average, it would make sense that I weighed more than average. But those idiot weight charts don't take that into consideration. And back then, no one cared about BMI.
Now, and I really am overweight now, I can see how stupid I was then. Stupid self-image. All because of other stupid people telling me I was fat when I wasn't.
It takes a lot of time and serious effort to change programming like that.
[ December 04, 2004, 03:15 AM: Message edited by: quidscribis ]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
quote: Isn't possible to know if someone is fat by their face
Umm. I don't think so.
How can you measure girth from a face?
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
This is one of the reasons why I always tell women not to step on a scale when they begin exercising.
People have been described as having a "fat face" - however, except in "morbidly obese" cases, it's not easy to guess at a person's overall weight by the shape of their face.
-Trevor
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
The worst is when you start thinking that maybe you're not that fat after all and then you try to wear your fancy black dress that is tight around the midsection and you realize that yes, yes you are.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I have the opposite problem. I grew up extremely skinny, and still think of myself as skinny (when I don't think about it, that is), even though I'm over 200 lb. now.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
I am extremely skinny myself, (5'10 and 120ish) though that may change with the terrible hunger cravings I have been getting.
Who knows? Also who cares?
Well, I have no idea who knows, and I will probably figure out if anybody cares by counting the amount of responses that reference to this post. I suspect that this number will be 0, though it may be more simply because people will read this blurb/rant and then reply to humor me.
We shall see.
[ December 04, 2004, 08:48 PM: Message edited by: Phanto ]
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
quote: The worst is when you start thinking that maybe you're not that fat after all and then you try to wear your fancy black dress that is tight around the midsection and you realize that yes, yes you are.
I know. I hate it when that happens... Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Yah, but Annie is in fact, not fat, she's the defenition of beauty and is quite athletic (I know, I went hiking with her).
Hobbes Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
And yet she calls herself fat.
Jokingly, I hope - otherwise I shall be forced to open a can of thwap on her.
-Trevor
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
quote: The worst is when you start thinking that maybe you're not that fat after all and then you try to wear your fancy black dress that is tight around the midsection and you realize that yes, yes you are.
Or when you start unpacking clothes that have been in storage and realise that while you may not be technically overweight my have you put on a lot of weight in the past two years. Like, a *lot*.
And they're such pretty clothes...
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
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