This is topic Turkey Pardons in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
President Bush pardoned the national Thanksgiving turkey, a traditional presidential photo opp going back a long time.

Am I alone in really, really wanting a President to announce at the ceremony for this that "He just looks too darn tasty - we're gonna eat him this year"?

Does this make me a horrible person?

Dagonee
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
1. No
2. Yes

My question is, does the president not in fact eat turkey on thanksgiving? Because if he does, this has been a sham all these years, with one lucky bird going free only to have another have to take his place.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 


But those birds probably aren't cute, so it's OK.

Dagonee
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 
Well, you're not a horrible person if you use me as a standard - which is a highly debatable position to take.

Many years ago, Saturday Night Live put the fate of one "Larry the Lobster" up to its viewers. Those who felt he should be spared and sent to some aquarium or something called one number. Those who felt that lobsters were meant to be eaten called the "boil his butt" number.

I called the latter number.

If I recall correctly, the number of calls to save him outnumbered the "boil his butt" calls.

But he got eaten anyway simply because he looked so good to eat.

(Yes, I know, I am building a record of just how much I am in need of professional help.)

[ November 17, 2004, 12:47 PM: Message edited by: sndrake ]
 

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Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
 
Didn't Bush fail to pardon a Turkey at one point in the last 4 years? Maybe the first one, but I can't remember. Hmmm...sacrificial turkey...
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
I hadn't heard that he failed to pardon one year - I'll look for confirmation.

And I definitely would have voted to boil the lobster.

Dagonee
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
I seriously wonder about this every year. It just seems so sleazy to pardon one and eat another.

When I am president, I shall have lobster for Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks for the idea, sndrake.
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 

quote:

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Didn't Bush fail to pardon a Turkey at one point in the last 4 years?

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We should all give him a pass on this. It's not like being a Governor of Texas gave him a lot of experience with granting pardons, after all.

He might have been surprised to find out it was part of the job.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Well, it was a capital case.
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
<-- loves a thanksgiving ham
 

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Posted by Intelligence3 (Member # 6944) on :
 

quote:

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I seriously wonder about this every year. It just seems so sleazy to pardon one and eat another.

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quote:

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Well, it was a capital case.

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And your point is?

In case I didn't make it clear, I think that GWB, based on his performance as Texas Governor, probably didn't think granting pardons in capital cases was a function of the job.

Certainly not one he had much (Or any?) practice at. (Notes that is not so much about Bush as it is about Texas, where death sentences get carried out with as much frequency as possible.)
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

quote:

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Didn't Bush fail to pardon a Turkey at one point in the last 4 years?

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quote:

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And your point is?

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That he had even less practice than with regular pardons.

Dagonee
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
If those ten people were really fat, and the food poisoning caused them to lose a lot of weight, would that be considered mass destruction?
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 
Eljay,

I gotta side with Noemon on this. If the leftovers were taken to several homes, and then shared with all their friends and relatives the toll from the bad turkey could have grown exponentially.

The irony here is that the surest route to reducing the risk to humans is to keep the turkey off the menu.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
No, because the mass wouldn't actually be destroyed, just, um, relocated.

Edit: sndrake, still not enough turkey, unless everybody just takes one bite, which would be silly. Plus the less each eats, the milder a case of food poisoning they'll get.

[ November 17, 2004, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: ElJay ]
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Proof that this turkey was planning to blow something up:

quote:

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Upon encountering danger a turkey often prefers to run, and it does so with amazing explosiveness and agility.

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Hear that? It was both agile and explosive. that turkey was a walking time bomb, I'm telling you.

[ November 17, 2004, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]
 

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Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
 
I saw an article that said PETA is still annoyed about it, since it the turkeys don't go to an animal sanctuary where they can be left alone.

you'd think they would be happy that it wasn't getting eaten.

Oh well...if I was prez, I'd prob send the turkey to the PETA headquarters and tell them to take care of it. My guess is even they would get tired of it, and cook it at some point.
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 

quote:

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Edit: sndrake, still not enough turkey, unless everybody just takes one bite, which would be silly. Plus the less each eats, the milder a case of food poisoning they'll get.

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Hah! Everyone knows that bacteria proliferate while sitting around in nice nutrient-rich environments (e.g. sitting around on the counter, being transported, etc.). After a couple days, the potential lethality of the leftovers has increased tremendously.

Sneaky, ruthless, vengeful turkeys!
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
I think we should invade Turkey next, just to make sure this threat is kept in check. It's the only reasonable thing to do.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 

quote:

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Hah! Everyone knows that bacteria proliferate while sitting around in nice nutrient-rich environments (e.g. sitting around on the counter, being transported, etc.). After a couple days, the potential lethality of the leftovers has increased tremendously.

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Oh, yeah, silly me. 'Cause I'd certainly eat turkey that had been sitting on the counter for days, even if it smelled pretty rank. Blech.
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
Actually, I probably would.
 

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Posted by Intelligence3 (Member # 6944) on :
 
Now I'm all hungry.


 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
The turkeys have you right where they want you, Int3.
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
And then came the sound...of chickens...in choppers.
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 

quote:

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'Cause I'd certainly eat turkey that had been sitting on the counter for days, even if it smelled pretty rank.

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Bah - it doesn't need to sit out for days - just an hour or two to accelerate bacterial growth. Refrigeration slows bacteria down - doesn't kill or stop growth. And the the bugs that cause food poisoning don't contribute to any kind of rank odor.

See how devious turkeys are?

They sacrifice themselves to launch biological attacks on us, using what they know of our sloppy habits regarding cooking and proper treatment of leftovers....

One of the great public relations campaigns of our time still remains to be told - how turkeys ever managed to lull us all into thinking they were stupid, unthinking creatures.

When what they really are is sinister, devious, criminal masterminds...

Who should be roasted at 325 degrees fahrenheit until cooked thoroughly, taking care to baste at regular intervals for maximum moistness.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Deep-fried, all the way.
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Holy crap, deep fried is GOOD, LJ.
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 
This thread is making me wish I still had my copy of Jonathan Segal Chicken, which has been out of print for a long time.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Yeah. dkw always wants to roast it, ever since that one year the thermometer got hung up and we crisped the bird. She does roast a pretty good turkey, though. Brines it first, yum.
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Brines it first?
 

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Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :
 
Is it weird that my family makes enchiladas on thanksgiving? When we have no form of hispanic blood at all? Possibly, but it sure is tasty.

--ApostleRadio
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
mack, yeah, you soak it in a mixture of salt, sugar, and water in the fridge (or a cooler in the garage if you live in Minnesota/Iowa and your fridge is full of other stuff for Thanksgiving) for a minimum of 24 hours. Then you roast it. Ends up moist and perfect. Works for chickens, too. Make sure you rub a little olive oil on the skin before you put it in the oven so it crisps up nice. Ask Dana if you want the details, I work in generalities.

[ November 17, 2004, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: ElJay ]
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 

quote:

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for a minimum of 24 hours

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quote:

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In 2006, President Bush gave two turkeys named Flyer and Fryer a last-minute reprieve. The two hailed from Monett, Missouri. For the fourth time, the American public was allowed to vote for the turkeys' names on the White House web site. 2005's turkeys were named Marshmallow and Yam; 2004's were named Biscuit and Gravy; and 2003's were Stars and Stripes.

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quote:

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And then came the sound...of chickens...in choppers.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Dagonee:
He did it again, darnit.

quote:

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In 2006, President Bush gave two turkeys named Flyer and Fryer a last-minute reprieve. The two hailed from Monett, Missouri. For the fourth time, the American public was allowed to vote for the turkeys' names on the White House web site. 2005's turkeys were named Marshmallow and Yam; 2004's were named Biscuit and Gravy; and 2003's were Stars and Stripes.

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Maybe I'll start a petition. eatthebird.com is available.

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I will so sign that.
 

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Posted by dantesparadigm (Member # 8756) on :
 
Unfortunately, due to the ‘separation of powers’ the pardon only applies to the Executive Branch. Immediately after the ceremony the turkey is handed over to Congress for a brutal slaughtering. It is then deep fried and served in the congressional cafeteria alongside freedom fries.
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
I miss sndrake.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Lisa:

quote:

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Originally posted by Dagonee:
He did it again, darnit.

quote:

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In 2006, President Bush gave two turkeys named Flyer and Fryer a last-minute reprieve. The two hailed from Monett, Missouri. For the fourth time, the American public was allowed to vote for the turkeys' names on the White House web site. 2005's turkeys were named Marshmallow and Yam; 2004's were named Biscuit and Gravy; and 2003's were Stars and Stripes.

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Maybe I'll start a petition. eatthebird.com is available.

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I will so sign that.

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