This thread is the mountain where on its highest peak sits the all knowign wise guru.
You are waiting in line to ask him one perfect question.
Then you realize the person in front of you asks something stupid. Since it takes two days for the Guru to answer a question, you decided to speed things up by answering the previous question first, then ask your own question.
Then some know-it-all behind you interupts to answer your question.
Who ever is last gets there question answered by the all knowing Guru.
I ask first: "Why is the sky blue."
Next person asnwers my question, and gets to ask one of their own.
(PS Answers need not be accurate, only fun)
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Dan, the sky is blue because if it were not blue, it would be some other color.
Why am I here?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
The truth is, you are not here, my friend. You are a figment of the imagination of an all-mighty being in the middle of a distant universe.
What is the meaning of...Filibuster?
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
It means go find a dictionary instead of wasting the guru's time.
When will my head stop spinning?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Realize that it is not your head that spins, but the world around you.
Why is the rest of the world spinning?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Realize that it is you spinning and not the rest of the world.
Why do we speak English?
Posted by IdemosthenesI (Member # 862) on :
Je ne parle pas l'Anglaise!
What is... The Answer?
[ October 15, 2004, 01:11 PM: Message edited by: IdemosthenesI ]
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
NO!
Why do you have to fill out six government forms to get them to write one check for something they were supposed to pay anyway?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
A check in the hand is worth six papers in Washington.
What is...THAT!?!?!?!?!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
None of your business, but if you must know, its a self actualizing stem-bolt.
What is in my pocket?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Yeesh, why don't you stick your hand in there and find out??
Why is it always so HOT in here??
Posted by Son_of_Priam (Member # 6411) on :
Its a sign from god
Why does an old decrepit guru live in a mountain?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Because they kicked him out of the valley.
Why won't my ears stop ringing?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Because someone's spirit is trying to call you.
Why are puppies so wonderful?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Because their spicy gamey flavor goes well with a chilled Chianti.
What are the winning lottery numbers.
[ October 15, 2004, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
They are numbers they broadcast on tv to show people if they won or not.
Why am I waiting in this stupid line if I have no question?
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
Because you are a Hatrack monkey.
When will I become real?
[ October 15, 2004, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: Tammy ]
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
When you meet enough real hatrackers to become real.
why are you stabbing me?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Never
What is real?
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Not much anymore these days.
Is this where the bus stops?
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
Bus? What bus? This is the deep south. There are no buses here.
What herbs must I swallow to live longer?
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Spinach is a good start.
I've got this bump, wanna take a look at it?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Lost Ashes--Not for a million bucks.
Tammy--Herb Tarlek, shoot him, cook his corpse, and enjoy his liver with a nice Chianti. Everyone will be happier.
What wine goes best with liver?
[ October 15, 2004, 04:11 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Chateau Le Scerosis...
Why do my shoes stink, but my feet don't?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Because they're so afraid of your shoes, they shy away.
What the heck is all this about?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
The point is not to wonder about the point.
Did that make any sense?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
When you reach true wisdom, you will know that nothing makes sense.
Why, with 500 channels on TV, is there nothing good to watch?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
When something is no good to begin with, adding more of it is not the solution.
Why?
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
Because there is no right or wrong, just another choice and path.
What is the truth and why, Religion or Atheism?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
Maybe. And that's really two questions in one, you cheater!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
One does not know sir! Perhaps there was some food on the other side, or perhaps there was an attractive female chicken on the other side of the road, if it is a male. Or perhaps there was a predator chasing the chicken. One hopes there is no traffic.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
Why do you call them "good"?
Why do good things happen to bad people?
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Good, bad, ehhh, Sh*t happens.
What's the deal with jumbo shrimp? Are they great big shrimp, or lil bitty jumbos? Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
Never on the weekends.
How come the only constellation I can ever find is Orion?
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
I don't know, but getting stuck behind you in line, all I can see is Uranus.
Hey, why isn't that guy wearing pants?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Because none of the other constellations have belts.
[edit= you beat me. Drat. It was still funny!]
How could you do something so stupid?
[ October 15, 2004, 08:02 PM: Message edited by: Narnia ]
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why are people so rude all the time?
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Shut up and get out of line.
Why ask Why?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
Because.
Why no good questions?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
There are no good questions...only good questioners.
Where do dreams come from?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Go ask the Sandman, two mountain-tops over.
Why are there so few hours in the day?
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Because you sleep too much.
Where's the bathroom?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
There's a bathroom on the right.
Why are political ads so obnoxious?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
[side-comment]
quote: Because you sleep too much.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *breathes* BWAHAHAHAHA!
[/side-comment]
Posted by Danzig avoiding landmarks (Member # 6792) on :
Because George Bush and John Kerry approved those messages.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Why didn't you ask a question?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Because he hates this thread.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
There's no such thing as a good question (see previous posts).
Why are you trying to derail the thread?
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
So no one accidentally stumbles on the real secret of the universe.
When will my dinner get here?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
That is the real secret of the universe.
Why am I in such a foul mood?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Too much duck? (Get it, foul, fowl, duck. Hahaha! I'm such a wise old Guru)
Why didn't you get it?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Icarus: Kentucky Fried Chicken--you are what you eat.
Boris: The sale starts Tuesday.
Why did I eat that?
[ October 15, 2004, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Well, everything tastes like chicken, you know...oh, you said FOUL, not FOWL! I dunno, then.
Dan, you just couldn't help yourself, and that's OOOOO-KAAAAAY.
Why is it that when I desperately need to sleep, I can't...but when I need to stay awake to do work, I doze off instantly?
[aargh! not one, but TWO people beat me to the foul/fowl joke!]
[ October 15, 2004, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: Megan ]
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Motivation is the key to success. You took a wrong turn somewhere.
Why is it that I feel the same way at times?
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Stan, you are actually Megan inside.
What's the difference between a duck?
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Goose!
(Does that make me a Le........ooh)
What is 42?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. (alternately, what is 9 times 7?)
What causes humans to love?
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I believe it is caused by a short-circuit in the wiring in the brain.
Where did you come from?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
My mommy.
What is your quest? (Here we go with some Monty Python)
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
To seek the holy grail.
What is your favorite color?
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
clear
what is the air speed velocity of a sparrow?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
15-20mph depending on wind speed and how big the coconuts are.
Why is Monty Python just so freaking hilarious?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
It isn't. It's all in your head.
Why are people under the illusion that Monty Python is funny?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
It's part of the cosmic design of the universe.
Why are my *ahem* bodily functions not functional?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Too much duck
Why do ducks say "Quack"?
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Because they are calling for you.
Why am I not in bed yet?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
You're an insomniac like me
Why?
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Must be the Megan inside me that is doing this.
Why is it that you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Because that's what I told you to do, Stan! You know, from inside!
Why am I up this early?
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
because you stopped sleeping.
I'm sorry, guru, but I don't have a question. I was just following the crowd. Let me think of a question. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. I know! May I be excused?
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
No, not until you've cleaned your plate, young man (or woman, as the case may be)!
What should I do about the bunny family living under my shed so that my doggies won't kill them?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
Kill them yourself. Makes for a good roast dinner.
Where is a hammer when you need it?
[ October 16, 2004, 11:33 AM: Message edited by: dh ]
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Why, is it Hammer time?
Where's my baggy pants?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
In the bag.
Where's Uzbekistan?
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
I'm not sure, where did you leave it?
Should you ever bet money on an inside straight?
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
I always go for the outside curve...But you can do whatever you want with your own money.
What's for breakfast?
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
The true question is, what is NOT for breakfast?
Will K State beat OU?
Posted by WishfulWiggin (Member # 6823) on :
It will be a tie.
Why hasn't mankind been to Mars yet?
Posted by dh (Member # 6929) on :
How do you know it hasn't?
Why is Bush's name not Tree? Or Shrub?
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
because his parents weren't hippees.
Why are people answearing questions with questions?
[ October 18, 2004, 09:17 AM: Message edited by: MEC ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Why not?
Why can't I ever wade through my backlog of paperwork?
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