It has become increasingly apparent to me that, barring some really juicy bits of stupidity in the upcoming debates, George W. Bush will be my president for the next four years. Depressing as that is, it has made me envision the glorious future of our great country. The following is a list of predictions. Just call me Nostrildamus.
1. In 2006, Dick Cheney will find his guts and resign as Vice - president when the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is passed.
2. In 2008, Hilary Clinton will narrowly defeat John McCain, becoming the country's first woman president.
3. In 2009, McCain, as the Senate Minority Leader, will help to lead bi-partisan movements to fix the welfare system, education, healthcare, and to save social security.
4. In 2010, I will win $73,000,000 in the Oklahoma State Lottery, shortly before it is discontinued for moral and ethical reasons.
5. In 2053, just before I retire, it will become fashionable for nubile young college girls to date older men.
That is all. Just you wait. The future is so bright, I have to wear shades.
Posted by Traveler (Member # 3615) on :
Wow! Such optimism.
The only 'silver lining' I can find in 4 more years of Bush is that there can ONLY be 4 more years of Bush. Unless they manage to amend the constitution...
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
If you won $73,000,000 in 2010, why would you wait until 2053 to retire?
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
There are two many "ifs" from within and without that could affect this election for me to make any such prediction.
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
quote: If you won $73,000,000 in 2010, why would you wait until 2053 to retire?
Because I'll be using my money in the lifelong pursuit of making the world a better place through race car driving and mime.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
Ah. I'm afraid if I won such a copious amount of money, I would die due to slothfulness. In other words, I would die happy.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote: Unless they manage to amend the constitution...
Don't forget about Jeb.
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
quote: Don't forget about Jeb.
Yeah, about that. In the interest of political correctness, I left off my prediction that in 2007, the entire Bush family, except Barbara, will be exposed as robots armed with weapons that can cause up to 53 percent of the population of the United States to not get enough oxygen to the brain.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Unfortunately, by 2010 your lottery winnings, after taxes, will come to $.37 cents. Give or take.
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