My biggest hassle after spending a week without power -- thanks to our recent hurricane funfest -- was not cleaning out the exciting new growths in the refrigerator or washing a cubic ton of laundry, although those were fascinating challenges that will probably come out in therapy one day.
My biggest hassle was getting my clocks right again.
I'm sure that most people, when confronted with clocks in several rooms, would simply set them to the same time and consider it a job well done.
Ha, ha! What those poor, misguided people don't realize is that time is relative, as Famous Smart Guy Albert Einstein proved, and I don't get along with all of my relatives. Such consistency would completely ruin my schedule and make me horribly late for work. Or, worse, horribly early.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Oh Chris, that is so exactly me! Steve is the one who does the actual setting though and using some arcane formula he manages to get me to work on time (mostly)
I don't wear a watch either...
AJ
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Chris, I've got to tell you I've enjoyed reading your columns over the last year. They've gotten much tighter, making the humor more focused and giving it greater impact.
Dagonee
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
The one thing I think you could have possibly played up more is the "bathroom clock". I've been teased by more than a few people about having a clock in my bathroom.
I've got: Alarm clock, bathroom clock, microwave clock (in kitchen) cell phone (Real Time TM), and car clock (one minute slow to keep me from excessive speeding)
AJ
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I have one clock, the rest are completely wrong: my watch.
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
quote:Now, the important thing to remember is that even though I know, intellectually, that this clock is fast and I'm not really late, I still react as if I was. This is because the parts of my brain that handle the Getting to Work tasks are just above the Getting Food bits and right behind the Trees Are Pretty node.
*dies
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Was that a euphemism Sara? AJ
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Thanks. I've missed your wed. reminder posts for some time.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Our microwave clock almost always gies me a shock and I stare dumbfounded at it until I realize that Tom has taken somethng out of the microwave and hasn't cleared the time remaining. It gets me every time!
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Great post. I have the same thing going on with the clocks in my house.
Posted by Dead Sara Sasse (Member # 6857) on :
Nah, pretty much literal.
I was killed by the crushing size of the funny. Could've been worse, true.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
For brevity, I didn't mention the clock hanging on our kitchen wall that hasn't has the right time in about six months (dead batteries) or the time on the cable box in the living room which I use as a touchstone if I get confused amidst all the rest.
Also there's the time on my Palm Pilot, but I only look at that if I'm at lunch at work and need to know how late I'm getting back. And don't get me started on the different times at work...
Another component of my morning schedule which further complicates things is this: I know exactly how long it takes to get from my house to work, as long as nothing interferes, and I apply that to set my departure time. Even though I know, rationally, that traffic, wrecks, buying gas and other delays will affect my time, I still "know" that I can get to work in 45 minutes so I don't need to leave 'til a quarter after.
It's sad, really.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Chris, that was great. My favorite parts were:
quote: Millions of years ago primitive men got to work on time the exact same way, holding their sundials cockeyed and setting their crops forward.
And
quote: There are various large digital clocks on the way to work, at banks and car dealerships and such, but none of them seem to be remotely close to any time I've ever heard of and can therefore be appreciated as art.
Absolutely priceless! Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
"I don't have a watch, too stressful" Me, I just scavenge off of people in terms of watches... But since I am getting a cell phone I'll know what time it is.. It's not even a pocket watch.
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
Syn, do you too covertly check out business-like people in cafes, just because you know there's a chance they will be wearing a watch?
The covert glance, trying not to look too interested in their hands ('cause that would be just too creepy), the longing (oh, if only he'd raise his hand to brush aside his hair, the sleeve might drop just a biiiit further), the shame, the guilt ... the terrible conundrum: which of them was more likely to set their watch incorrectly? Auuuuggh! How to decide?
Watches are like jewelry, and jewelry does not exist on my planet.
[ September 16, 2004, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Sara, I totally do that. I like looking at guys' wrists because they'll wear the huge watches with the easy-to-read face.
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
Yeah. When I sit in a cafe, the first thing I do is scope out the likely prospects.
It's like paintball, only without the guns or paint. Which one is likeliest to let slip first? Which ones look ripe for watchiness?
Such a predator. I feel dirty now.
[ September 16, 2004, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Retraction: I do own watches, I think three. One is a nice leather-band gold rim watch, with digital and analog dials. Present from Teresa. Another is a pocket watch. And a third is a black watch with Neil Gaiman's Death character on it.
None of them have worked for a couple of years, but they're there if I need them.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
SS
I only want a 100 year old pocket watch. If by some fluke someone marries me, I want one instead of a wedding ring... Regular watches don't LAST that long. Nothing does anymore... Mmm. Pocket watches with hunting cases... I always have to watch scavenge on trains and buses.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Just edited it slightly to add emphasis and a few more lines I thought of after I filed it.
There are distinct advantages to being the webmaster...
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
I operate on "Karl Time"... a freak warp in space-time that makes me about 15 mintues late for everything. So I set my bedroom clock about 15 to 30 minutes ahead to try and help me actually make my appointments.
My other clocks an watches I try and set to the Atomic Clock.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Sara, Kat, you're missing the fun! You now have a great excuse to strike up a conversation with a great person in the cafe! While I've never done this myself since I feel lost without my watch, I've had it happen to me a few times
Watches are not jewelry to me for some reason. Bracelets on the other hand (ha, ha) drive me batty!
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
quote:Instead I go in the kitchen where the times on the microwave and oven are hours apart and may even be in different years.
Brilliant, as usual.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
I do that too!
I think I tell you this every time, but I love your writing. You never fail to crack me up.
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I have the same thing going on with the clocks in my house.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
"I don't have a watch, too stressful"![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
I do that too!