quote:

---

Due to this temper, it's somewhat necessary to keep me away from most board games (Yahtzee is really the only safe one, since I'm playing against dice rather than opponents).

---

(From my first landmark.) If nothing else, I proved I was right.

Tom expressed it pretty well, likening it to allergies. I'd gone so long without even playing most games that I thought I was strong enough to handle it. That's when the trouble hit. And I saw it happening -- I could feel my temperature rising, my ears burning, my words being less well chosen. I began to feign a lack of caring, which was a sure indication that I did in fact care very very much about the game.

Mama would have seen it happening if she'd been there. She wouldn't even have had to say anything -- she would have just put her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye, so I'd face the truth. I might have ignored it at that point, or even thought I could overcome it, but since she's always right about it, I might have been smart enough to heed her unspoken advice and bow out right then. But alas, she'd taken the kids and gone to bed, leaving me to fend for myself.

I can deal with this failing of mine. I don't like it about me, but I can deal with it. The thing is that it doesn't just affect me, and I'm not comfortable dealing with that, or rather with requiring other people to deal with my failings. I'd be unsurprised if there weren't one or two people in that game who thought they might be the reason I got angry and left (and if I'm wrong, that wouldn't really surprise me all that much, either). Whoever may fall into that category -- nope, wasn't you. It was all me. I'm a rotten loser, no matter how good a winner anyone else may be. I'm actually a pretty rotten winner, too -- I could be angry with myself for winning more slowly than I think I should have; I'm usually able to keep that to myself, though, because I would at least have the consolation prize of having won the game.

The other sad thing is that I didn't really have the chance to apologize afterward. Our plane flew out early the next day, and almost everyone was still asleep when we left. There was that point around 5 A.M. in the parking lot when I suppose I could have apologized, but I'm not sure I was entirely conscious at the time.

Though this may sound like one, it's not a plea for people to say things to make me feel better, or that it wasn't so bad, or that I don't need to worry about it. It's just an apology to people who deserve one -- I hope you'll accept it.

An additional thanks to Jenny Gardener, who followed me out and listened to me berate myself for a bit. Though brief, it was cathartic for me, and very helpful, and I appreciate it greatly. Oh, and I like your boots.

And hey, I never did punch a hole in a wall or a door, so maybe I really am getting better.

--Pop
 

---

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
(((Pop))) I wasn't there, so I don't know if that's much comfort. But once I did physically attack my husband after he refused to lose a game of chinese checkers by moving one of his dudes back into my parking space.
 

---

Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
 
I sensed that you were a driven game player Papa. We all have faults that we need to work on. I, for one, was extremely grateful to you for making me and my family immediately feel a part of the Hatrack family. Thank you. I'll continue to perceive you as a positive influence despite that one negative aspect.

It was great meeting you and your family! Tell Mooselet that Donald Duck says Hello.
 

---

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Papa Moose,

1) It's nice to know you aren't perfect.
2) You should play games with Icarus and Cor. I can arrange this. You will learn humility or earn respect for your mad gaming skills.
3) I wish I'd been there to berate you mercilessly until you laughed or punched me.

Really, we need to get past this so that we can play games and I can do the Smackdown on you in Monopoly or maybe Boggle or ESPECIALLY Trivial Pursuit. I was THERE for most of it. I've forgotten more trivia than you have ever known.

I challenge thee!

I'm gonna rub that beard of yours in board game defeat! You'll be picking Parcheesee pieces from your chin hair for weeks!

In short, it's time for family game night, mafia style!

(oh, and seriously, dude, you are one of the nicest people I know. If this really is a serious problem, I have every confidence in your ability to fix it if you choose to. But I'd play games with you anytime, anywhere!)

(No chutes and ladders though. Bad flashbacks.)
 

---

Posted by Insanity Plea (Member # 2053) on :
 
:: Hugs :: We understood completely, Papa. I was just sorta sad I wouldn't see you before you left.
Satyagraha
 

---

Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
I am not saying that a temper is alway a good thing, but it isn't the worst thing in the world if it comes out mainly at "game time", Papa.

I wasn't there, but I am a very competitive person, so I know where you are coming from on this. I use to have a huge problem when playing pool. I made an A$$ of myself many times, and I was alway embarrassed afterwords. I even lost a few friends over it.

I still hate losing, but I hated the way I was acting even more. It came to a head when I stared dating Jenni,. Right before I met her I was playing the best pool of my life. I went undefeated (32-0) against the best players in the area. It may not sound like much, but I was playing 4-5 nights a week. I don't really drink, and the club scene bored me to tears after years of doing it, so this was my hobby...most of my friends were players, and that is what I did.

I never liked losing, ever, but if someone was better than me I could deal with it fine. But when someone wasn't a better shot and i screwed up, it ate me alive. Also, luck plays a part in any table game, particularly in the rules my league used. I hated (and still do... ) when people would just bang away and $hitt balls in.

So I lost the most important match of the season to a guy who was good, but who had avoided playing me (ducked me, in pool terminology) twice that season. I had pulled a muscle the day before, playing Frisbee if you can believe it( ), and was really pissed off.

I looked over at Jenni, and she wouldn't even look me in the eyes, I was acting so pissed off.

I was so embarrassed that I went over and apologized to Steve (the guy who beat me); he said it wasn't really noticeable, and that it was cool.

I don't play league now, but I continued to for a year after that, and I didn't really lose it again. I won't say I never will again, but all I have to do is remember that night and I cool off a bit.

I still play, but I have learned to have a better sense of proportion, and to remember that I hate when someone is a sore loser to me when I win, so I should never "be that guy" when I lose.

I hope that you are able to keep your love of games but still find a balance between competitiveness and good sportsmanship.

[ August 26, 2004, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
 

---

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
*loves Pop*
 

---

Posted by JenniK (Member # 3939) on :
 
just be glad I wasn't there! I know I am competitive,but when it comes to Trivial Pursuit... I'm generally not allowed to play unless it's a brand new genus.... in high school I was on the "Schools Match Wits" team and we practiced by going through the trivial pursuit cards.... and since I love those quirky tidbits of info, I have always opened the new boxes and read through them.....
therein lies my problem .. I have a photographic memory, need I say more? You the guy who knows it all and annoys the heck out of everyone answering every question correctly? That would be me with Trivial Pursuit. Instead of playing, I generally get to be the person who reads all the questions. I can live with that. By the way do you know where the Manitean Piss Fountain is? (yes that was a real question! although I'm not too sure of the spelling as it was a question that I was asked in practice.. in high school 12 years ago!)

My head is full of useless knowledge and I'm proud of it! I completely understand, and I think most people have at some point, felt the same, so don't worry. No need to sigh. At least you learned something and will never repeat the behavior that has caused you this upset.
besides, you are loved
 

---

Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
 
Papa Moose,

I was on your team and I could tell you were getting steamed (ok, that coupled with the whole walking out of the room episode ). Yes, game playing may be your own personal Waterloo. But we all have our shortcomings, don't we? Your friendliness and enthusiasm made an impression on me, and that's the impression that's lasted.

space opera
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Pop, I have a HUGE temper problem in becoming frustrated with myself when I don't do well in anything competitive.

I understand. It sucks.

But you're stand up for facing it like you do.
 

---

Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
I know someone who refuses to play unless he's 100% sure he's going to win, and publically admits it: "I can't play with you, I might lose."

I'm not sure if that's a comfort, or even something I should be saying, but I admire you for your ability to even play!

(if it's not, then you've discovered my failing; I say the wrong thing and for that I apologise)
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Moose,

I have something of a temper myself. The fact you can face up to your behavior afterwards and muster a heartfelt apology says more about you than your temper ever could.

Cheers,
Trevor
 

---

Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 
Anytime you want to come and be competitive in Australia, Pop, don't hesitate.

I'll even let you bring your family.

(I figure, if I keep asking enough people, one day AustraliaCon will happen).

Temper in games is quite common - I think its admirable that you do try and control it. I tend to sulk when I lose. Tony once threw boggle tiles all over a cafe when I beat him a ridiculous number of times in a row.
Boggle tiles make a *lot* of noise bouncing off a slate floor on a Sunday morning.

We don't play Boggle anymore.
 

---

Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
 
It's okay Pop. I didn't do any better than you.

Isn't it tortuous that the google ads for this page are trying to sell you Trivial Pursuit??
 

---

Posted by fiazko (Member # 5812) on :
 
The latest Game Night fun for my friends and me is Texas Hold 'em. We played for the first time last weekend, and it was my first time playing it ever. At one point I was winning, so of course, I was happy. One of my friends was consistently losing, and I realized that when that's me, I get really frustrated. As it goes on, I start to swear and beat things, and I've left more than one Game Night in a huff. I guess it's something I've been working on enough that I actually asked my friends if they were ok with me winning like I was. And they were. And it dawned on me that, while plenty of people are competitive, not all of those people have a need to be the best and win. Blah blah blah. Anyway, Pop, my point is that, you're not alone, it's something you can keep working on, and we still love you.
 

---

Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
 
Pop:

It's ok, man, we all understand. It was getting kinda cutthroat near the end of it anyway.

We were a little worried, but you came back and told us good-night.

((((((Pop))))))

We love you Pop!
 

---

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
No its not OK.

He said, "Don't tell me its OK" or words to that effect.

He did wrong and he wants to face his punishment.

Mamma Squirrel, take him out behind the wood shed and give him a good spank... um, no. He may like that.

I sentence thee with this dire punishement for your extremely bad behavior.

Go to Jail.
Directly to Jail.
Do not pass go.
Do Not (I repeat, do NOT) collect $200.

I'm sorry I had to do that, but it needed to be done. I hope you know this hurt you a heck of a lot more than it hurt me.
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
I always hated that line. I always thought something along the lines of "What, does the vibration travel from the belt buckle hitting me to your hand holding the leather of the belt?"


 

---

Posted by School4ever (Member # 5575) on :
 
Pop- I was not there, you don't know me, but I understand. I am the same way, so I don't like to play games, I don't like to see what kind of person I am. I have never lost at Risk, but I throw such tantrums while playing that I refuse to play anymore.
 

---

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
I'm a very bad loser. I'm such a bad loser that I don't play games that I know I can't win. So I admire just about everyone else's patience in putting up with me and my game crap.

It was a little unfair that you stacked the teams like 6 to 2 against us, but hey, whatever.

I really enjoyed meeting Papa and the Mooses. I can't wait to do it again!
 

---

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Am I the only person here who cares so little about winning recreational games that I'll deliberately make bad (or, well, less than ideal) moves to help the other person even things up on those occasions when I'm getting far enough ahead that it's no longer fun for everyone? Christy and I have pretty congenial board game experiences, in general; there are games I usually win and games she usually wins, but I don't recall any problems....
 

---

Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
 
Ironically, the friend of mine who's the best loser is also the best at the games and wins more often (okay, shoot me. Did I use ironic inappropriately?).

With my friends, there are some games we refuse to play competitively (Starcraft) because of the inevitable hurt feelings. I bought a board game yesterday that took me forty minutes to choose because I was weighing in countless variables including Will This Piss Anyone Off? My friends all have their "sore loser" moments, but over the years we've learned the deal with it. It does suck when one person gets so angry that the mood in the room is irrevocably changed. But we're human, and we're friends.

*hug* Papa Moose.
 

---

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Tom, I have been known to cheat against myself to make games more interesting. But, it adds another level of interest for me, too. Will I be caught cheating?
 

---

Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
 
Tom, I never really care about winning unless I'm playing against my brother. He's such a bad winner that you have to beat him in self defense.

Or at least, that's the excuse my grandma and I use...
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Nope, you're not alone Tom. My wife and I play very...cooperatively when it's just the two of us playing a game.
 

---

Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
 
::hugs pop::

You guys got all the sucky questions, too. I know at the end we were trying to help you out, and sometimes that backfires and puts too much pressure on people.

I was sad that you didn't get to finish the game, but i'm still glad you got to play.

Ni!
 

---

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
*hugs* Everybody has quirks. What I love is that we can be honest about them.
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
I am competitive, but I have fun whether I win or not.

Which is why I continue to play Scrabble (well, I haven't had the actual TIME to do so in ages) against people like Jonathon, Ic and Cor, Theca . . . well, there are a lot of people who beat me at Scrabble on a consistent basis. And I won't say it doesn't sting sometimes -- but mostly when I feel that I did something dumb. If I played a good game but still lost (and the only time I win is when I get really lucky), it's ok.

But there are other games . . . um, let's see, I usually just don't play them anymore *thinks* . . . ah! Spit, for example, that I get really competitive. I think I managed to scratch someone once while trying to put down a card ahead of theirs.

So I haven't played Spit in years . . . but that's mostly for lack of opportunity than anything else.

*hug* Pop, it says far more about your remarkable character that you own and apologize for your failings than that you have them. And in the brief time that I was there for Trivial Pursuit, all I saw from you was a bit of heckling.

And heckling game-players isn't being a bad sport. It's an art form, and I practice every chance I get.
 

---

Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
 
I don't get to play Trivial Pursuit anymore either. I don't even get to play the new Genus editions. Or the special topic ones. So my mad skillz have probably significantly declined in the past two years I've not been allowed to play.

Looking at that, I just realized that it sucks. I need to find smart friends.
 

---

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Me too.
 

---

Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
 
beating blacwolve's brother really is fun.
 

---

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
Thats begging for the OOC thread.
 

---

Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
ELJay:

quote:

---

it adds another level of interest for me, too. Will I be caught cheating?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---

Soooooo OOC....

Kwea
 

---

Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
You have my unwavering support, Papa Moose! I was in a strange place myself that night, and I wasn't as kind as you make me out to be. I wanted to apologize for psychically barreling into you the way I did.

I love you, and I respect you, and I hope you know that. I wish we'd had more opportunity to connect in the daytime, when perhaps we'd both have been closer to our best.

I guess a 5 AM fire alarm will have to do...
 

---

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Papa Moose,

I was a tennis racket tosser in my youth. I got very Zenlike in my game playing as I got older, and I don't really know why.

This might be too Tony-Soprano's-Therapist-sounding, but you might want to try and work through this so you CAN play games, since you like them. Try to figure out what triggers this anger.

If we are ever at a group gathering together, I would be happy, no kidding, to play a game with you and others who are aware of your problem. I have worked with many students with anger management issues, and let me tell you, game time ws no picnic, but we always played anyway.
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Oh yeah.

I have five broken racquetball racquets adoring my apartment walls. The jatraqueros who've visited can vouch for it.

FIVE.

Have I mentioned that I got so frustrated losing bouts in fencing that my coach intervened? He said I'm losing bouts because I expect to win because I DO have the instinct and skill to win.

But I need to stop attacking and make my brain use the defense skills that I know.

So until further notice, I'm not allowed to attack during bouts--just parry and riposte.

And I try and insist I'm not competitive.
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Hah! I didn't tell you so!

Will go hide before the woman with the sharp, pointy things comes knocking.

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
They aren't sharp and pointy! They have safety buttons!
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
I meant your wit - I forgot about the swords.

Oh hell, I'm gonna die.

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*tries to wrap head around conjunction of "mack" and "not competitive"*
 

---

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
 
Don't try, rivka - your head will burst . . .
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
--I--
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*curious* Was that directed at me or at Shan, mack? Or maybe both?
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Both. Duh.
 

---

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
 
Luv you, too, sugar . . .
 

---

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
I think Mack is more of a "sunshine" or "hon'" rather than "sugar." Maybe "sug'" would work...
 

---

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
No way, Bob. She is such a Sweetie-Pie.
 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Never call a woman with 7 swords a sweetie-pie.
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
You have a point Dag.

But since it's Elizabeth, I think she can get away with it.

The rest of us would have to run for cover.

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 


Oh, mack, sweetums . . . !
 

---

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Trevor,
She knows where I live. I am dead if I call her that. Which I just did.
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Heh. Good mental note.

Never call an armed woman "sweetie-pie."

Pookie, snookums and hunney-bunch are ok though?

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

quote:

---

You have a point Dag.

---

No, Mack's got the points. Aren't you paying attention?
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Yes, but once she stabs you, the point will be yours.

That certainly makes you a cut above the rest.

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
I hope Mack notices that I am out of the conversation at this point, and focuses on you two.
 

---

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
*rummages desperately for his fencing gear*
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Oh c'mon, don't make me re-post-e.

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
*stabs everyone involved*
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Eh, it has a safety-tip. *shrug*
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Not that one. I have three without tips.
 

---

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Oh, what I could do with that last post in the OOC thread.
 

---

Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Smirk.

Go for it Elizabeth - I've been thinking rude thoughts all night.

-Trevor
 

---

Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
 
Pop-
If you have used your store of patience and love to build your children into people who are so sure of you that they are completely and utterly secure in that patience and love, your gifts have been well spent.

I'm so much more impressed by a person who gives their best in private, to those they love, than a person who saves their best for their public appearances.

From the way that your family looks at you, I'd say that you are the kind of person who you'd be proud to emulate if you were a stranger looking in.

Though I've heard you mention that board game playing is a problem for you, I've doubted it because you have always been so gracious every time I've seen you. Even when I've thought you were slighted and felt like knocking someone in the noggin for it, you were patient and understanding.

I'm great at playing board games, but I envy your patience with people. Your skill is alot more portable.
 

---

Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
Pop - I didn't play many games either. Mostly because I get irritated and irritating if I lose. Heheheh. I get really elated when I win and my mood lifts considerably, (hopefully not annoyingly so) but I don't always win. (Contrary to what I would like. )

Point is, no one's perfect. Least of all me.
 

---