Yeah, we all know my relatives take the cake. I love my immediate family, but there's a reason I'm far away from them too.
So Mom calls me. I'm stil at work doing an evaporation experiment that is about as exciting as watching paint dry.
So after a brief discussion about the Olympics, she starts in.
Mom: Couldn't you sneak out to Pennsylvania for your cousin's wedding Me: I don't think so. Mom: But it's over Memorial Day weekend! Me: I've missed most of my friends' weddings, the only one I've gone to is the one I was in! Mom: But these are your relatives! Me: And I don't know them, I missed my friends weddings that I cared about, why should I go to this one? Mom: Because they are your relatives! *sigh* I should have taken you out more to see them when you were little. Me: And I was bored out of my mind every time I went as it was, why would I want to go back? (She changed the subject to the contractors that are fixing the house that she burned down)
I will say for once she didn't break down into tears. I guess that's progress. I was also as blunt as I've ever been because I wasn't in the mood to pull punches. I mean I didn't say that I'm not going because I refuse to deal with my Grandmother so I softened the blow a bit.
AJ
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
:::hugs for AJ:::
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Y'know, Hatrack really is my family.
AJ
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
That's good, now I can show everyone embarrassing pictures of you and tell people about the time you got your foot stuck in a...
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
she already tells ME diarrhea attack stories.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Wow. We really ARE AJ's family. Great, one more person who has to buy me a Christmas present!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Speaking of interesting pictures, who had the pictures of me and kama reading the Playboy? Those haven't hit foobonic yet.
AJ
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
yet.
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
I'm not sure this is a bit of ringing endorsement, but you handled it far better than I would have.
-Trevor
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
Hatrack is AJ's family?
*wonders what that makes me*
Posted by Vána (Member # 6593) on :
Good for you, AJ! I think you handled that really well.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Yeah it could have, and has been worse in times past. I'm still grumpy and out of sorts though.
AJ
Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :
Relatives...can't choose 'em... Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
S'why we have caller ID.
-Trevor
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Oh man. My husband and mother-in-law had a "thing" about 6 weeks ago. Then she went to Texas for a month. Tonight, I finally told my husband to put on his radio headphones so I could watch the football game. (Really bad storm coming and he was glued to the Doppler radar.)
Anyway, he suddenly shouts out (because he has headphones on and has no idea how loudly he's speaking) "Mom's on the radio." Then he just stops speaking. When I finally get his attention, I ask him why she's on. Apparently, she has called the radio station to tell them that 50 foot radius she lives in has had intermittent power outages, but what she's really wondering about is how (insert name of my town, a few miles east of her town) is.
Can you imagine calling a radio station to see if you kid/grandkid has been killed by a tornado rather than just picking up the phone and calling them?
These people! What the heck is wrong with them?
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
I told him that he should call her and say, "(name of my town) is just fine."
He then thought it would be funny to call the radio station and say, "Yeah, uh, I just wanted to let (insert name of his mom here) that (our town) has had some lightening and rain, but so far, things aren't too bad and am glad she made it back from Texas okay."
And they say I'm the crazy one in the family. Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
*sigh* ((((AJ))))
space opera
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
You know, AJ, I wish you'd lost that fight.
Cause Strider and I live in Pennsylvania.
(we don't talk on AIM anymore. This must be because I changed my AIM name and didn't tell you. it's dzneydork)
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Reminds me of a tshirt my whole family thought about buying and getting a group photo taken with us all wearing them:
"I came from a dysfunctional family and all I got was this lousy tshirt"
(Of course, the fact that we could talk about how funny it would be too have those shirts and how much we all deserve to wear them means we are doing much better now than we once were. )
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
you know you could have always IM'd me. I'm a creature of habit and my IM name doesn't change... AJ
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
So I came home crabby, and told Steve that I was crabby and growled at him "Maybe it's PMS" and he said no, your problem looks just like you but older and 2 inches taller than you.
I didn't realize I always got this crabby after I deal with my mother. (So crabby that he can instantly figure out the problem.) *sigh* I guess I'll have to work on that.
This is supposed to strengthen my character, right?
AJ
[ August 24, 2004, 12:25 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Playboy has good articles and fiction. Really.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
They ranked my OU (U of Oklahoma) way too low in the football preliminary rankings! They had us like 15th or something. We shouldn't be any lower than 5th!!
And it was the issue that had the nude olympians. I've always liked nude art, be it male or female. (An area where Annie and I have a profound disagreeement in taste) I'm still kicking myself for not buying the USA Today olympic addition from 2000 that had the entire men's water polo team on it, wearing nothing but holding strategically located water polo balls.
The USA Today article from that year was much better though, because the nudity was rawer and more powerful as a result. The Playboy was airbrushed to kingdom come. The women all had enough athletic beauty you don't need to airbrush them. Though it was probably the largest collection of small breasts that Playboy has ever displayed.
AJ
[ August 24, 2004, 12:47 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I remember THAT comment.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Me too, mack. LOL.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Never mind. Dumb idea on this forum.
[ August 24, 2004, 12:56 AM: Message edited by: Storm Saxon ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
(wonders what stormy said)
(And to whoever has that picture of me, really post it on foobonic if it turned out, I want to see it.)
(Steve already has a picture of me reading playboy floating around here somewhere, so it isn't like it is even a novelty.)
[ August 24, 2004, 01:03 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by Zevlag (Member # 1405) on :
There seem to be a lot of pictures missing. If you have a camera, and took pictures, GET THEM ONLINE!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
No.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*hug* Relatives can be difficult. Right now my sister is workin' my last nerve. Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
AJ, I wound up with that Playboy. If you want it, it's yours. *laugh*
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Tom, I'm relieved to know it ended up with you instead of one of the younger, more impressionable, young men....
FG
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Yeah, I'm curious what Stormy decided to delete too. My guess is a link to some article or piece of fiction on Playboy's website, but that's just a guess.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Tom, for some reason I don't think it would bother AJ to go pick up her own copy if she wanted one. Posted by the master (Member # 6788) on :
quote: Yeah, we all know my relatives take the cake.
Apparently we haven't gotten drunk enough to really compare notes.
Oh, and yeah, whoever has the picture of me with the dart in my head, I want a copy!
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
*laugh* I had no idea we ended up with the Playboy.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Heck, I have some pretty dysfunctional relatives, but thankfully they keep their dysfunction to themselves and don't send me wacky letters.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Well if you hadn't kept dissapearing to the bar without me realizing it celia...
And yeah we have gotten drunk enough to discuss your relatives. They are pretty zany, but you still don't have the written documention I do.
AJ
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
Christy,
Tom is hiding it under his side of the bed.
You know how some guys are about their wives being new mothers and all.
msquared
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
I did notice we seemed to be getting a few more Victoria's Secret catalogs than usual. *grin*
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Why is it that you buy one thing over the Victoria's secret website, and you are innudated with their catalogs? I can't see how they possibly make a profit with the amount they spend on postage. And most of the catalogs are redundant to each other too. I mean we've been getting them in faster than any guy could possibly need a new catalog, even if he "used" the old one extensively.
AJ
[ August 24, 2004, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
HAHA. Ever since Christmas we've been getting double catalogs, one to each of us. I spend more time tearing my address out of those things then I actually spend sleeping.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The PlayBoy exchanged hands during the common room cleanup. I asked Zev what he wanted to do with it, he looked panicked again, I tossed in the trash, and cries of protest echoed forth from the room. Tom ended up with it, mumbling something about the articles.
[ August 24, 2004, 10:58 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Poor Josh.
Bad form, guys.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Let me reiterate: there is NOTHING more panicked and desperate-looking than a Mormon kid holding a Playboy. You'd've thought the cover girl was going to bite his arm off at the elbow. *giggle*
[ August 24, 2004, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: TomDavidson ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*frowns at Tom* About as funny as slipping bacon into kosher food.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
No kidding.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
You should have heard me try to explain the incident to the guys at work. There was an article on the Playboy with the Olympians in it, in the Sun-Times, and I unthinkingly said I'd seen it. Even though the guys have worked with me for nearly two years and should be used to me by now, it stopped the lunch time conversation. Their minds went into overload when I managed to get, Mormons, Playboy and Kama Con, into the same sentence and they decided to change the subject, while wondering what sort of friends I actually have...
AJ
[ August 24, 2004, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Unless you consider the mere act of holding a Playboy to be sinful, it's a bit of a false analogy, innit? Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
But that's not why it's sniggeringly funny, is it?
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
But he had to see what was on the front to realize what is was. Unless you think he looked right past the girl and read the title.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Well, the FUNNY bit was how he HELD it, not whether he read it or not. To continue with the analogy, it would be like handing a Jew a paper-wrapped pork loin. It's still not NICE, but it's far from mean.
(And PSI, I solemnly guarantee you that the front cover of Playboy is newsstand -- and Mormon -- friendly. Heck, the vast majority of Playboy is typical magazine fare; Josh had a better than 50% chance, even had he flipped it open, of encountering nothing more dangerous than an article about the Google IPO.)
[ August 24, 2004, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: TomDavidson ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
At least you stuck to your guns, AJ. Is this the one your mom wants you to go to in order to assuage her guilt for missing it?
I've found bluntness to shorten such conversations considerably. Really, what else could she have said? If you offer "nice" reasons you leave yourself open to refutation.
quote:I'm stil at work doing an evaporation experiment that is about as exciting as watching paint dry.
Am I the only one who thought this was hysterically funny?
Dagonee
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
It isn't the same at all, Tom. What he believes to be sinful about the Playboy is viewing it, and by handing it to him, you made him view it, at least the front.
I typed this in before I saw your edit above.
[ August 24, 2004, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm proud of Zevvy, anyway. Resistant to peer pressure and still managed to be polite.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
1) The equivalent of slipping bacon into kosher food would be sliding naked photos into a copy of a normally PG magazine.
2) Some men do read Playboy for the articles. I know this because my grandfather was blind, and the Braille version doesn’t have pictures.
3) I suspect is was funny because, as discussed on the “humor” thread, unexpected juxtapositions are funny.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I agree with Tom, the cover of Playboy is actually often more innocuous than that of Glamour or Cosmo. The point is Zev didn't open the magazine, and no one ever (as far as I know) actually attempted to make him do so against his beliefs.
AJ
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
dkw, that's not right, because it's not just the state of nakedness that's what's wrong. It's being part of something that's objectifying.
----
However funny the attempt was, Zev handled it perfectly.
[ August 24, 2004, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
So it's like putting paper-wrapped bacon on a plate, next to the food. Not evil, but in extremely bad taste.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
quote: It's being part of something that's objectifying.
My understanding, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that it has everything to do with lust and pure or impure thoughts.
Objectification doesn't necessarily equal lust.
AJ
(While I'm not a guy, for me objectification actually can create a barrier of distance between myself and out and out lust making it unreal and isoteric, rather than down and dirty.)
[ August 24, 2004, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Time out -- I think I don't have the whole story.
Where did the magazine come from in the first place?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It was a wrapped birthday present to Zev, and the actual present, the gift certificate, was inside.
It was adorably sweet and thoughtful to give the birthday present, and I'm sure the gift certificate is greatly appreciated. Just...the method wasn't funny.
[ August 24, 2004, 11:23 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Gift certificate subscription to playboy, or gift certificate for something else?
AJ
(Didn't know this part of the story)
[ August 24, 2004, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Oh. Well, it's less funny if it was a set up. Bummer.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Something else, I think. The present was really sweet, and it was very sweet for Zev's birthday to be remembered and celebrated. Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I believe it was a gift certificate to Borders to -- and here I quote Noah -- "get something you'd actually want." Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Yeah. Like I said, very sweet.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
It was, in my opinion, very funny because of the pure shcok value, and I agree that he handled it perfectly. Josh is a great guy.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
quote:2) Some men do read Playboy for the articles. I know this because my grandfather was blind, and the Braille version doesn’t have pictures.
Does it have bas relief renderings? Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
You know, this discussion has made me wonder, if Playboy readership has dropped off, since the advent of the internet. Or maybe they are making more money of their internet site than they are off of the publication.
But clearly it isn't just the titillation that makes people read Playboy. You can get that easily and often cheaper via the internet or TV or Victoria's secret catalogs. I'm guessing it is the image and lifestyle that Hugh Hefner cultivated which seems somehow classier than most of the other comparable magazines.
AJ
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Nope.
edit: to Noemon.
[ August 24, 2004, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: dkw ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
I would think most men get Playboy for the articles and the fiction. The kind of erotica that Playboy does--airbrushed women with fake boobs--is pretty much passe. Most men prefer looking at 'real' women, if they want to look at naked women. As you noted, this kind of thing can be done for free on the internet.
edit: Which is to say that men don't buy Playboy for the 'lifestyle that Hugh Hefner created'.
[ August 24, 2004, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: Storm Saxon ]
Posted by the master (Member # 6788) on :
The best inteview with Vonnegut I've ever read was in Playboy.
And it was a hilarious gift. Hilarious.
Zev, you're so sweet to put up with us crazies Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I agree with celia for the second two of three counts, since I never read that Vonnegut article.
Josh is a stand up guy. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Holding a playboy magazine is not a sin.
Holding it with just one hand while...
Sorry Papa Moose. Never mind.
And the whole comparison to Bacon thing--come on.
Bacon no bad taste.
Bacon taste goooooood.
Finally, Banna, if we are your family can I be that strange fun uncle that nobody talks much about but who ends up showing up at all the reuions smelling funny.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
...like bacon.
Actually, I've had the following conversation with the fiance of one of my friends:
him. "Bacon makes EVERYTHING better!" me. "Even ice cream!?" him. "They make BACON ICE CREAM!"
*twitch*
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Finally, Banna, if we are your family can I be that strange fun uncle that nobody talks much about but who ends up showing up at all the reuions smelling funny.
I didn't think that role was really assigned - I thought it was just kind of earned. So you want to be strange, fun, and funny-smelling. I haven't met you in person, so I can't comment on the third criteria. But you're a shoo-in for the first two.
Dagonee P.S. Apparantly I was the only who thought the "evaporation/paint dry" line was funny...
[ August 24, 2004, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Dagonee, I'm glad you liked the paint comment. I had plenty of time to compose it...
AJ
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
My brother is engaged to mac's friend?!? Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
"So it's like putting paper-wrapped bacon on a plate, next to the food. Not evil, but in extremely bad taste."
This is my feeling exactly. (Sveta is a wise and wonderful person.) It was in extremely bad taste, though of course meant as harmless fun. It's only harmless if taken from the point of view that pr0n is basically harmless. People who have made the choice to avoid it because they don't believe it IS harmless don't have that point of view, obviously. When you are outraging someone's innocence, what defines the degree of outrage occurring is THEIR level of innocence, not your own.
In any case Joshy handled it beautifully, by all accounts. Three cheers for Joshy ... and an affectionate cyber-pillow smack to the head for baby brother Noah.
Posted by Zevlag (Member # 1405) on :
*sigh*
First of all. I'm not upset at anyone about the whole thing, it was meant in jest. A good laugh was has had. I was slightly embarrassed. Noah managed to bring up my birthday which I had been so avoiding, and well, Hatrackers are awesome.
Tom, "there is NOTHING more panicked and desperate-looking than a Mormon kid holding a Playboy." I'm sure it was hillarious, honestly, I can see the humor. I did panick and was flustered. There were camera's all over, and well, I REALLY didn't want to have a picture of me with a copy of Playboy.
Throughout the whole time I never told anyone it was wrong of them to be reading it. I'm not saying that it is. I just expressed my desire to not be associated with it. There's a lot of things going on in my life right now, and well, there are some standards that I personally have decided that are worth adhering to. Just make my life a lot simpler. It would be too easy for me to have simply gone along and read it. But it would have comprimising my own decisions to have done so.
Not only would have it harmed my own opinion of myself, I think it would have been harmful to others' opinion of me. What makes this such a memorable event? Why are we even having this conversation? Because I DIDN"T look at it. If I would have just gave in and looked at it, would it have even been something you noticed? Maybe so. But I would have felt much less of myself afterwards.
I didn't consider holding or looking at the front cover sinful. I've been exposed to a lot worse than playboy. I'm not going to go into what and or why I actually consider sinful about it, or why I decided to not read it. Dosesn't matter. It's just a personal conviction that I was able to keep true to.
AJ, no on attempted to make me read it or look at it. Which I am grateful for. I love my Hatrack Family. And boy, Noah knows just how to push my buttons, but jeez, I still love him. I guess that's what brothers are for :-P
(There was a Barnes and Nobels gift card tucked inside it that I made Noah dig out for me, which he did with out as much as giving me a weird look.)
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Hee hee, knowing me, if I didn't want to look at it I would have gone with the "Throwing it across the room" method to make the birthday card fall out.
*hugs Zevlag*
AJ
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Silly AJ. That method is for grading papers. (Oh, wait, no . . . that's throwing them down the stairs. Nevermind.)
And I thought the evaporation line was great. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
That's why I always used a heavy binder clip on my papers - much better aerodynamic properties for going downstairs than a staple or two.
Report covers were risky, unless you knew the teacher's stairs weren't carpeted, in which case the clear plasic ones were best.
Dagonee
Posted by IvyGirl (Member # 6252) on :
Thanks for posting, Josh -- I saw the incident and thought you handled it well. But I could never tell if you were really offended (I considered it in poor taste, but would have been really upset if they had deeply offended you).
So you pretty much have answered the questions and closed the case.
Farmgirl posting as Ivygirl because I'm on her PC
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
quote:Actually, I've had the following conversation with the fiance of one of my friends:
him. "Bacon makes EVERYTHING better!" me. "Even ice cream!?" him. "They make BACON ICE CREAM!"
Mack's friend is engaged to Homer Simpson?
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
So this thread didn't get derailed at all! Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
you're so sweet to put up with us crazies ![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)