I'm off to the wedding of a couple friends tomorrow. They're Catholic and doing some kind of Mass ceremony. I've never been to a Catholic Mass before.
So the only thing I know is there's going to be a Communion. Since I'm not Catholic, I don't take it. Which is fine by me since the thought of drinking from the same cup as everyone else squicks me out.
Any Catholics out there willing to tell me what I should expect?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I am an ex-Catholic. But I have been through a Catholic wedding before, including my own.
It's much like any other church wedding. Catholics have a short form and a long form. The short form involves a procession, the priest's welcome, priest's blessing (sort of a sermon or not depending on the priest), the exchange vows, an exit procession and then off to Denny's for a sit-down reception.
The long form is the same as the above but imbedded in the traditional Catholic mass. Since you mention Communion -- considered a sacrament in the Catholic church, you have a lot more time in the church. Typically an hour, give or take.
There will be all the usual bits of the mass. Probably singing of hymns, but maybe not. It all depends on what the couple wanted and the priest agreed to.
But if it's a full mass -- a high mass -- you could have the full "bells and smells" version.
That will certainly include: Entrance hymn A greeting (and shaking hands with those in the pews next to yours -- some places HUG) Readings from the old Testament, New Testament, and a Gospel reading. Usually the bride and groom are allowed to select those from among a list of "approved" readings related to marriages.
The sermon The offertory (although this might be truncated to just the bringing up of the chalice instead of the usual passing of the baskets for everyone to put money in). Then communion. Communion involves reading of the rite (the story of the Last Supper). There are at least 4 versions in use ranging from a quicky 2 minute highlights version to the full-blown 15 minute description.
a few more hymns stuck in there.
I believe the actual exchange of vows would be inserted after communion because after that the event is pretty much over.
In a regular mass the priest would end with a general blessing, announcements, and dismiss the congregation. For a wedding, he might just announce the couple are now one, and scoot them off down the aisle.
Some places everyone applauds. Other places they DO NOT! Don't be the first one clapping. You might end being the ONLY one.
Don't "Whoop" either.
Expect to get a lot of exercise. You have to sit, stand, kneel, stand, kneel, sit, stand through the whole thing.
Of course, be respectfully silent when people go to Communion.
No need to leave your pew. You'll have to let people back into the pew when they leave from one side and come back in from the other end. It's usually a very orderly affair. You might want to step out of the pew and let them in if you see that happening.
I recommend trying NOT to be the person at the middle of a full pew-ful of folks who are likely to take communion. Lots of awkward sliding past if the pew areas are tight. Go for an end of row seat if you can and then just stand to let the people out of the pew or to let them back in, depending on which situation you encounter.
If there IS an offertory where they pass the baskets, it's a good idea to have a $10 bill or something (a dollar or two is fine if one is feeling poor that day). Just so you don't have to be embarrassed by taking the basket, put nothing in it and pass it to the next person in the row. Plus, if you put something in and they don't, you get to feel smug for a second or two. You prepared.
That should just about do it. Except for the human sacrifice and the baby eating contest, you're good to go.
OH BIG WARNING -- USE THE MISSALETTE! If you are used to rattling off the Creed and the Lord's Prayer in your own worship service, you have to pay attention and read what's in the MISSALETTE. Don't wing it from memory because the words are different.
AND, the end bit of the Lord's Prayer is said by the priest alone (at least used to be). That part that goes "For thine is the kinddom, the power and the Glory, forever and ever" is what the priest says. Most Protestant churches the congregation recites the whole thing.
[ July 23, 2004, 08:03 AM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
At last in France, only the priest and the newly weds can drink the cup (and they wipe it beofre passing the the other) - all the others only have the bread (which is not real bread but some thin thing that has no taste).
[ July 23, 2004, 08:54 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Bob got it pretty much dead on.
The priest and the congregation say the "Thine is the Kingdom" part together, but it's after the priest says something in between the first part of the prayer.
Here's the formal names for the different parts of the ceremony:
The service contains the following parts:
Entrance Rite and Liturgy of the Word, which includes the procession, opening prayers, and three readings from the Bible.
The Rite of Marriage, what most people think of as the wedding ceremony.
Liturgy of the Eucharist and Communion Rite, where Catholics will receive Communion.
Concluding Rite, which includes a blessing and recession.
Sometimes there's a unity candle ceremony, and sometimes there's a bouquet of roses left at the statue of Mary. Both are optional. Dagonee
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
Oh and the missalette give lots of great hints about when to kneel. Most likely they won't use it because they will have their own readings. However there is a section that talks about the Liturgy of the Eucharist. It will tell you what the priest will, in theory, say and when to kneel. Some place don't have kneelers and some do. I find that if in doubt playing follow the leader is always a good idea especially when at a new church.
[ July 23, 2004, 09:17 AM: Message edited by: sarahdipity ]
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Or remember Rowat Atkinson and murmur a lot.
-Trevor
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
Last I heard, the priest says, "Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ" after the "Our Father"
When I was a kid, I'd always be really anxious to let go of the sweaty stranger's hand next to me as the priest was reciting that part.
If they do pass an offertory plate, I think they're pretty classless.
Good luck getting through all the kneeling! Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
I haven't been to church in a good while, but I'm Catholic and the general congregation at my church never drank from the cup, we only ate the communion bread. Only the members of the congregation who helped pass out the bread (I don't know what were they were called, but they would sit alongside the alter during mass and wear wooden crosses around their necks) and the Priest and/or Deacon would drink from it.
I always wondered what it tasted like.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Nato nailed the priest's interlude in the Lord's Prayer. After that everyone says "For the kingdom..."
They won't pass the offeratory basket - at least, I've never seen it done.
Dagonee
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Remember that if you're good friends with the groom, you'll be expected to wash his feet at some point in the proceedings.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Only if you ditch the rehearsal. Otherwise you're OK. Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Using a garden hose might be considered poor form.
-Trevor
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
You know...I'm an ex-Catholic too...but I still love all the old rituals and hymns. Ahh...nostalgia...
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Me too. They're also totally ingrained. Whenever I read any of the above posts containing parts of the liturgy, the response popped right into my head. I can still even recite the Creed from memory. o_O
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
If someone says "Peace be with you" don't say "thanks".
<--did that
Oh yeah, and we always knelt before entering the pew. Does anyone else do that?
[ July 23, 2004, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
We go to mass sometimes because one of our relatives married a lady who does music for a Catholic parish. It's not very hard to wing it.
"When did they make Joe Kelly a lecter? He takes marijuana!"
Posted by Cowboy Poet (Member # 6724) on :
I went to a Catholic wedding last weekend and only the bride, groom, and parents took communion. And there was no foot bashing or anything like that. It was very strange, not at all like any Catholic wedding I had been to before. Not very formal at all. Then again, the bride was in Wrangler jeans and ropers. But the reception had copious amounts of alcohol present. Thank goodness for designated drivers!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
quote:Oh yeah, and we always knelt before entering the pew.
Actually, that should be genuflecting. It's kneeling down on one knee towards the tabernacle and making the sign of the cross. You're supposed to do that each time you cross in front of the tabernacle, too.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I didn't do the cross, but I wasn't really catholic, just attending the church.
Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
Thanks for all the advice.
Ya'll were right. Only the bride and groom did the Communion part. Not that I don't like Communion mind you, I'm just used to getting my own disposable plastic cup of grape juice.
It was a nice wedding. There was a bunch of standing up and sitting back down during some responsive readings and a bit from John. The priest knew there were a bunch of Protestants cause we were invited to sit or kneel during those parts.
Thanks again for all the advice.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
While You Were Sleeping pooka.
Dag, when the heck IS your wedding? I've asked you and lost the thread every time...
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Ahh...nostalgia...