This is topic Is there any such thing as a movie nobody likes? in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
I guess this is the reverse of the litmus test movie.

I'll play it safe and go with John Huston's "The Dead."
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
An old cheesy wannabe-Mel Brooks-type movie called "Naughty Knights", from the 70s.

Simply horrendous.

-Bok
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
I LOVED that movie!

(just kidding, have no clue what movie it is)
 

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Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
 
"eye of the beholder" with Ashley Judd and Ewan McGregor. Worst movie EVER.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Beg to differ with the lovely NdRa. "Eye of the Beholder" had a plot, albeit a stupid one.

"Night Train to Venice," on the other hand, did not.* Thus, it stands as the Worst Movie EVER.

(*er, okay, it started with a plot about Hugh Grant travelling the Orient Express to present an anti-neo-Nazi paper in Venice, but the

1. crazy singing transvestite
2. repetitive flashbacks of little girl falling off ledge
3. skinhead napalm factory
4. etc

had nothing to do with it. )

[ June 04, 2004, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Ishtar. Gigli.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
"The One" with Jet Li. It was awful.

FG
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
*DING DING DING*

Taalcon wins with Gigli, hands down.

-Bok
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Angel Sanctuary, quite simply the worst movie ever. It's a Japanese anime.

Dagonee
 

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Posted by BlueJacsFan (Member # 6590) on :
 
The Avengers - how can a cast that good suck that bad?

My second choice would be Zoolander, but I actually know people who liked it.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
I own Zoolander.

I may never recover from the shame. For the life of me, I'm not sure why I like it.
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
I just about split my side open from laughing when I watched Zoolander. "A freak gasoline-fight accident"

I nominage Manos, the Hands of Fate.
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Yes, but Manos is downright hilarious. Especially the MST3k version.
 

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Posted by pwiscombe (Member # 181) on :
 
Being a computer nerd, I went with a friend to see a movie that I would swear was called "Digital Knights" but now the only reference to it I can find has it as "The Dungeonmaster"

Summary: Paul, a computer whiz who spends more time with his machine than with his girlfriend, finds that he has been chosen as a worthy opponent for Mestema, and evil wizard who has spent centuries searching for a challenging foe. After having his computer changed into wristband weapon, Paul does battle with a variety of monsters before finally coming face to face with the ultimate adversary.

Each "battle" scene against a different foe was directed by a different director: Dave Allen, Charles Band, John Carl Buechler, Steven Ford, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou, Rosemarie Turko; and they all collaborated for the Finale.

Absolutely, Positively the WORST movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

I really like this review from IMDB.com:

quote:

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I did something for the first time after watching this movie. I took it back to the rental outlet and demanded my dollar seventy -five back. I couldn't believe that they would keep this totally, non-redeeming, illiterate, completly without value, piece of Hollywood cheapo on their shelves. I should state that I am a regular customer of this video store and they did give me a credit on my next visit.

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quote:

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Anything with Madonna

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Um...Evita was really good.
 

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Posted by FoolishTook (Member # 5358) on :
 
I thought Zooland was hilarious and Battlefield Earth wasn't half as terrible as I expected it to be.

I vote for Scorpian King. It wasn't only bad, it drained all my hopes of ever seeing a good movie again. It was sort of like a dementor. I had to eat chocolate afterwards to feel normal again.
 

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Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
 
- Peter Pan (the new one)
- Kazaam (starring Shaq?)

I liked Rat Race. OF course, i like anything with mr. bean in it
 

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Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :
 
I loved the new peter pan. The spirit was closer to the book then any other version I've seen.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
I liked the new Peter Pan too...
And Also Thelma and Louise, though during a recent viewing I thought they were unwise.
But I HATE-
Baby Boom
Fatal Attraction
Dr. T and the Women
Overboard
Surender
What Women Want
Terrible horror movies
most romantic comedies

I'll think of some more later.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Worst movie I have ever seen:
Scooby Doo.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Dude, just looking at the trailer for that says, Stay away stay away stay away!
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
I also really liked the new Peter Pan, and it's not even my kind of movie.
 

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Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
 

quote:

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I loved the new peter pan

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quote:

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I liked the new Peter Pan too...

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quote:

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I also really liked the new Peter Pan, and it's not even my kind of movie.

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Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
 
Bridges of Madison County

Bleah

and anyone who says they liked it are just wrong. Poor, delusional souls.
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 
Lawrence of Arabia - I know it's supposedly a classic, but I just couldn't stand it. It gave me the same feeling as reading Heart of Darknesss - the inescapable urge to scream - HURRY UP AND BE DONE WITH IT!!!

I also hated Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls - Never in my life have I wanted to run screaming from a theater as strongly as during that movie - too bad I was there with friends and hadn't driven myself.

I've heard of a horrendous version of Julius Cesear with Charlton Heston, but have never watched it.
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

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Anything based on a Stephen King novel (except for the origianl Carrie the original The Shining)

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quote:

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You better not be including Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile on that list...

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Though I still have not seen "The Green Mile" yet, if you thought Shawshank Redemption was a bad movie, you have got to be crazy.
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Wondering if I should start listing how many of the named movies I like and why...
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Do it.
I'm curious.
 

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Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
 
Buck Rogers (the one from the late 70s)
Young Sherlock Holmes
Alphaville (most art films really really bore me...)

Madonna was in "Desperately Seeking Susan," an OK screwball comedy (not very memorable though, it doesn't hold up well watching it again)

Dead Man Walking -- has Johnny Deppe in it, but it's just a weird, nihilistic Western. ick. (But, my friend who got me to watch it liked it, so, there's one person in the world who likes it...)

[ June 05, 2004, 12:51 AM: Message edited by: plaid ]
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
I think you mean Dead Man...
I haven't seen it, but a friend keeps talking about it and, it will be here by tomorrow I supposed.
 

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Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
 
No one has mentioned Highlander 2 yet. Before anyone does, I'll point out that I enjoyed it, and yes, still enjoy it.
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Of the ones listed so far, I like:

Peter Pan. Lush, richly filmed, much closer to the original storyline and characters, and Hook flying caught me off guard. The attraction between Peter and Wendy threw me a bit the first time I saw it, but worked for me after that.

What Women Want. Fun, silly, movie with no surprises, excellent mind candy for nights when you can't decide what to watch.

Lawrence of Arabia. ALthough I will admit that watching it again, it feels much slower and more dragging than the first time I saw it. I'venoticed that with other older movies I liked and watched again. I showed my son Fast Times at Ridgemont High a few years ago and was amazed at how slow the pace was. The legacy of MTV...

The Running Man. Classic Arnie movie. Turn your upper brain off and grab the popcorn. Besides, I grew up watching the original Hogan's Heroes and Family Feud, so seeing Richard Dawson cut loose was great.

Battlestar Galactica. I liked the first season more than the first movie, but there was some good stuff there. Hated the kid and the robot dog, though.

Buck Rogers (70's version. Schmaltzy, plastic, cotton candy science fiction. But coming right after Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica and Space 1999, it was great to see a 20th century man in that mileau. The scene when he first flies one of their ships and freaks out in the launch tube ("Whooooooooooo!") made up for the horrible dance floor number. And the show had a fun and cheesy theme song.
 

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Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
 

quote:

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The problem here is that even if you somehow find a movie that EVERYBODY at Hatrack doesn't like, you're still dealing with a really insignificant amount of the population.

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nah, I doubt even the writers and actors liked Gili
 

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Posted by Strider (Member # 1807) on :
 
Chris, if you're referring to my post up there where i named the Running Man, The Stand, and Stand by Me, i was actually mentioning those as good Steven King movies.

just for clarification.

Also, just as a note, I happen to have enjoyed quite a few movies people have listed here as movies nobody would like. But it would take me way too long to list all of them with explanations why.
 

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Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
 
never much cared for "Birth of a Nation."

[ June 05, 2004, 01:36 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
 

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Posted by Jill (Member # 3376) on :
 
What about Gigli?
 

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Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
 
Ken Park.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Urg! I HATE Birth of a Nation.
They tortured us with that movie in literature class.
 

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Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
 
Is that the one about the Klan in the early 1930s or so?

I *hate*, with the burning passion of a thousand suns, Koyaanisqatsi and A.I.

[ June 05, 2004, 07:58 AM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 

quote:

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The problem here is that even if you somehow find a movie that EVERYBODY at Hatrack doesn't like, you're still dealing with a really insignificant amount of the population. I can guarantee you that there is no movie in existence that *nobody* likes.

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I think sometimes a movie is thrown together to meet a deadline and stinks beyond belief, and the people involved are the most ashamed of it. Like:

"Wild Wild West"
 

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Posted by Lime (Member # 1707) on :
 
Worst movie nobody's seen:

Garfield
 

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Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
 
As far as my comment on Stephen King films being on a worst list, I was actually referring to the decade of really bad films that lasted from the late 70's to the early 90's. In this period, we all had to suffer through such dreck as Cujo, Christine, The Silver Bullet, The Children of the Corn, The Lawnmower Man, Maximum Overdrive (the title was something like that), Pet Cemetaryy, Pet Cemetary 2, and a half dozen forgetable others.

The first two King films, The Shining and Carrie, were actually pretty good. These were followed by his awful period.

In the recent past, there have actually been a few watchable and even a few enjoyable King movies. WIth Kingdom Hospital, however, he has slipped back to his bad period. Maybe he has not fully recovered from the accident.

In my opinion, there have been more bad movies made from King's works than from any other author.
 

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Posted by MoonRabbit (Member # 3652) on :
 
The only people who don't hate Bartleby (Crispin Glover at his most boring), are those that, mercifully, haven't been unfortunate enough to see it.

Think of it as the pointlessness and weirdness of a David Lynch movie, slowed down to a Stanley Kubrick pace. Bleah!
 

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Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
 
First of all, I feel compelled to say that I love the Godzilla/Matthew Broderick (The worm guy) version.

Bad movies:

I agree with Ishtar, Gigli, and Battlefield Earth.

I also add:

All Dogs Go To Heaven 2
Freejack
Halfbaked
Fletch 2
Conan The Destroyer (although I loved that one)
Any of the Robocop sequels
Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
Alucard, that's "Bogus Journey." Gosh, get it right! I agree with you though, that movie was embarassing.

Ok, my contribution to this list is:

The Year of Living Dangerously.

I'm sure there were great performances. Mel Gibson was ridiculous eye candy. I even own it, just for his sake.

But it's awful!! So boring!!

[ June 05, 2004, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: Narnia ]
 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
As of this afternoon I have the pleasure of adding: "The Book of Mormon Movie".

It's not that there aren't people who say they like it. But there are people who say they like wheat grass juice too. If they think something is really good for them...

It was the costumes. They were so clean and obviously new, it was reminiscent of a CG animation feature.
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
The Book of Mormon movie isn't so bad if you pretend that it's just a stake road show. But great cinema, it is not.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Pet Sementary was terrible.
Stupid milk or oil trucks...
But Misery was quite good as well as Delores Claiborn.
 

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Posted by Chizpurfle (Member # 6255) on :
 
No. I think that there is always someone who likes something. There are even people who liked Gigli.

I am also one of the people who had really liked Cabin Boy when I first watched it. I was a kid back then, so my memory of it is a bit vague.
 

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Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
 
Eyes Wide Shut

I don't know if I hate that movie because it is dreadful, or I hate that movie because it didn't live up to my expectations. Of course, I'm not really sure what I was expecting. But when your lead actors nearly have to be hospitalized from the emotional exhaustion of working on a movie, you expect it to be...well...an emotional film.

Bleah.
 

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Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
 
muppet,

what didn't you like about AI?

fallow
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
I forgot how much I dislike Eyes Wide Shut. Even the nudity was not sufficently erotic.
Worse is...
SHOWGIRLS!
 

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Posted by Sugar+Spice (Member # 5874) on :
 
I tried to watch 'A Clockwork Orange' the other day. It was more boring, gratuitous, badly acted and stupid than anything else I have ever seen, bearing in mind that I actually go out of my way to watch rubbish movies because I find them funny.

This one wasn't even funny.
 

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Posted by Kabederlin (Member # 6304) on :
 
Bulletproof Monk.
 

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Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
 
I'm sorry, but I really enjoyed Bulletproof Monk. It was silly fun.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Van Helsing is arguably the worst movie ever made.

Although someone could make a case for Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon and get my vote.

Come to think of it, they both suffer from the same problem: Ludicrous premise, zero plot, meaningless character development, and spending the entire film budget on special effects.

Which, in retrospect, weren't all that special.
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 
Thought of a movie I haven't seen on here yet:

"Supergirl"

Took it out several times and couldn't force myself to watch it all the way through.

Any fans of the movie?
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Man, I loved Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Go Eleanor and Marianne!!
 

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Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
 
Milk Money.

*shudder*

fil
 

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Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
 
I forgot all about Supergirl (or maybe I just tried to forget). It is by far the worst movie of the entire superhero genre (which is full of really bad movies, including the recent Hulk fiasco).

Crouching Tiger is also really awful, despite all of the publicity.

I also agree that the new Garfield movie has the potential to be on the list.

For your consideration, I must include the following sequels to successful movies:

Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier ("What does God need with a starship?")\
The Godfather 3 (which should be subtitled: How to destroy a franchise)

A View to a Kill (worst Bond story, worst Bond song, worst Bond acting-followed closely by the most recent Bond as worst Bond film)

Attack of the Clones (five words: JarJar Binks is a senator!!!)

Superman IV: THe Quest for Peace. (no commentary required)

Mannequin II (why make a sequel to a really bad movie?)

Smokey and the Bandit 3 (Burt isn't even in the movie)
 

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Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
 
Speaking of authors who's books have had awful adaptations... Michael Crichton, although one of my favorite authors as a teenager, his movies all freaking stink, (with the excpection of Jurasic park and Lost World, I enjoyed those)

Sphere was such an awesome book and such a horrible movie, same can be said for Timeline. Congo wasn't a very good book and the movie was even worse. I wish people would stop butchering his material or that he would stop letting them. A big paycheck doesn't validate allowing someone to destroy you stories Mr. Crichton!
 

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Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
 
Eraserhead has got to be the worst movie of all time. Not only does the film have no plot, it is actually irritating to watch. It's kind of like being on a long airplane flight where the person in the next seat has an infant that cries loudly during the entire flight. If it weren't pretentiously artsy and in black and white, no one would ever have watched the entire movie. The whole thing was kind of like a bad dream. If you claim to like this movie, I know you must be lying.

[ June 06, 2004, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
The Rabbit.

I was even afraid to list that movie as I know at least one person who professes to have loved it. It gave me a headache. I didn't want my money back, I wanted two hours of my life back!!!


 

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Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
 
Crouching Tiger is taking a beating! Especially on a thread about movies that NOBODY likes. I can see "Eraserhead" since I know few that like it...it seems a signature movie of a while ago that I can't find any support for nowadays. But Crouching Tiger was followed pretty strongly here in the States. I thought it was wonderful and a whole lot of fun. Hardly one that NOBODY likes. Maybe NOBODY on Hatrack?

fil
 

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Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
 
did anyone like Little Nicky? (title? the Sandler one. *shudders*)
 

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Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
 
My husband liked Little Nicky. And hey, my parents-in-law were extras in that film! I hated it. Hehe. But SOMEONE likes it!

I liked Crouching Tiger, but only in the movie theater. When I tried to watch it at home (even on my gigantor television), it was just annoying.

Celebrity (by Woody Allen) was just dumb. And annoying. And also dumb. I'm not a fan of Woody Allen's movies anyway (some of the early stuff is funny, but most of them I Just Don't Get), so YMMV.
 

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Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
 
Sorority Boys?
 

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Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
 
Nobody seems to like the movie: Next Friday. I love that movie.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Crouching Tiger rocks!
I hated the movie version of Practical Magic. They ruined it! MADE ME SO MAD
 

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Posted by Tiger Eye (Member # 6353) on :
 
gigli, glitter, cross roads
 

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Posted by Tiger Eye (Member # 6353) on :
 
i HATE the sound of music.
 

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Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
 
I liked Scorpion King because of the situation in which I watched it. It was me and a bunch of my geeky friends rolling up D&D characters for an adventure later than evening and we couldn't help but AP* the whole movie with bad references to D&D. "Oh, he just used his Catch Arrow feat." "Are you sure he didn't Deflect Arrow?" "Nope, see, it's in his hands." "Right. He must be a monk." [edit] That doesn't mean it's a good movie. It was funny as hell at the time, though.

As for The Dead, do you mean a movie about an Irish Christmas party? My mom watches it every new years, and every time I watch it, I like it a little more. Next year, I think I might just enjoy it.

Matrix Revolutions? What tripe that was. Or, how about the Animatrix episodes The Second Renaissance Pt. 1 and 2. They just make me mad because they were obviously written by people who have no knowledge of political science, social movements, human behavior, tactics, the nature of war, or the tools with which war is waged.

*AP = Audience Participation

[ June 06, 2004, 10:40 PM: Message edited by: WheatPuppet ]
 

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Posted by Tiger Eye (Member # 6353) on :
 
my art teacher was talking about an 8 hour long film that some artist made of the empire state building...just...filming it...

yes, he stayed for the whole thing. just waiting, thinking that something would eventually happen. nothing did.
 

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Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
 
"prospero's books" ?

with emphasis: ?!
 

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Posted by BlueJacsFan (Member # 6590) on :
 
I'm pretty easy to please if I'm in the mood for mindless action. I'll even settle for a (recent) van Damme movie sometimes.

That said, I liked Van Helsing and Crouching Tiger.

I have to agree with the ST 5 comment, though. That's one of the few movies I ever almost walked out on.

I also hated The Apostle, though I have several friends who thought it was wonderful.
 

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Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
 

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"prospero's books" ?

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C'mon, John Gielgud naked! I mean, what could be better!? Huh? Honest!?



fil
 

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Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
 
If only Michael Moore would strip to the waist or worse, we could all hate this flick that bearded fatso of professional hot-air-ishness is about to perfume (toxify) our summers with.

fallow
 

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Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
 
I liked the last quarter of Scorpion King. I was either cringing at how bad it sucked, or laughing uncontrollably at how bad it sucked. The high point was definitely when he pulled the arrow out of his back.
 

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Posted by Armoth (Member # 4752) on :
 
How could you forget Dungeons and Dragons?
My friends and I had so much fun just tearing that movie apart!
 

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Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
 
The Brady Bunch in the White House -- TV movie a couple years ago. Ouch. Bad. I loved The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel; TBBitWH wasn't funny and it was just dumb.
 

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Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
 

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How could you forget Dungeons and Dragons?

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Because it was so bad, years of denial kept it out of my head...until now, darn you! I think we have a winner. This movie doesn't even get props from the "so bad it's good" crowd. The Brady movies, made for tv or for theatrical release, still have the camp factor and that keeps it viewable to some. But Dungeons and Dragons... *shudder*

fil
 

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Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
 
If we are going to include made for tv movies, we have got to add the remake of "Brian's Song."

The original, with James Caan and Billy Dee Williams was the greatest made for tv movie and one of the greatest sports movies ever made.

The remake (why?) was a lame piece of feces that should be flushed or used for fertilizer.
 

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