Sorry for the let down, but we're doing literary puns, not sexual innuendo. At least, not unless your innuendo and out the other. Maybe Dickens, for example.
Okay, enough of that. It's just a stage I'm going through. The play's the sting.
It was the best of puns, it was the worst of puns...
And something's not quite write...
Posted by Cor (Member # 4295) on :
This doesn't really apply, but one of my students once asked why Brutus in "Julius Caesar" was standing in his orchid to give his soliloquy. He meant "orchard". Maybe he grew orchids there? Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
eat Hardy Boys! Tomorrow we set sail on the Belle!
jARGH!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
It is a far, far better zing I pun than I have ever punned before.
Dagonee
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
"Thar she blows!"
"Har! Lam! Poon! get up here!"
"where's Le Quinn?"
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
To pee, or not to pee: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The pains and pressures of bursting bladder, Or to drop trou to make a sea of urine, And by relieving end them?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
dude, what's happening to you? It's like first your illustrated and now your invisible, man...
Posted by Mr.Gumby (Member # 6303) on :
Dagonee, that was deep.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I don't know. I guess I'm just not living up to my Great Expectations, fallow.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
A prostitute offers her clients a special herbal drink that enhances sexual pleasure. It's so rare that it has to be carried down from the mountains by burro.
It's her donkey ho tea.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
It's just a portrait, Dagonee. Sure it's not that great, but...
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Anyone catch the fight at the pond last night? Waldo vs. ELO?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The tomato pickers were required to fill their wicker containers each day in order to receive their wage. One day, someone's dog got into chuck wagon and ate everyone's lunch. The culprit?
The Hound of the Basket Fillers.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The pate was really fancy, because it was All Liver.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
It went well with a gin and tonic with a Twist.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Jerry Garcia got a new publicist in the 80s. His business card said "Speaker for the Dead."
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
paradise lost 2 to 0 in the first quarter.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I washed my pants. When I looked in the washer, there were some dice in there.
I thought, Oh,hooray! A pair o'dice regained!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
They've decided to publish the day-day charts and ship's logs of the Mayflower's trip to Plymouth. It'll be called "Pilgrim's Progress."
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
That's where that quarter went!
*eyes shrunken jeans*
Lily's never gonna get this right, no matter how much effort she putsin to it.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I feel so bad that they lived in Bleak Houses.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
A night club just hired a Jamaican security good for the when the club was closed. He comes around after the action is done - he's the Day New Mon.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
That was a very swift joke, Fallow.
[ May 15, 2004, 10:51 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
A mad scientist has created pizza crust that can move on its own, but it takes a long time to rise. So he's stuck Waiting for his Go Dough.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The poor, naive country man away from home was taken by every con artist in the big city, who always pay attention when the gullibles travel.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Sounds like he lives in a real Cuckoo's Nest.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
that's the con's etiquette, yankee.
court adjourned.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
He got on bus 21 by mistake, so now he's got to figure out where he can Catch 22.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You reall think he came a lot to court?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Orville Redenbacher went out on the town with Charles. The Prince and the Popper had a lovely time.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
That is a dickens of a joke, Dag.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Sounds like Orville has come upon hard times
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Virgil fouls out and Homer steps up to the plate.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I thought my joke was The Pearl of the thread.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
it's dark in here, dag, could you turn on your heartlight?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yes, this French woman I know had more pearl rings than I have ever seen. We called her Lourdes of the Rings.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
rolls in the leaves of grass.
ROFL
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
This guy came into my cafe the other day and asked how I served my coffee. So I told him,
"You can have it any way as you like it, sir?"
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
an albatross and a penguin walk into a bar.
the bartender says "what'll you have?"
the albatross goes "got any longnecks?"
the bartender wipes the countertop and eyes the penguin.
"whatever the old man is having," shrugs the penguin.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Hmm. I wonder if that is how you learn to kill a mockingbird, too.
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
I was answering the phone for Mr Empire's secretary whilst she went for lunch the other day when Mr Anfall rang. As he was on holiday she'd told me to tell people he'd ring back next week. When she got back she asked who had rung and I told her:
De client Anfall of the roamin' Empire
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Double amputee's favorite book: A Farewell to Arms.
A hangover from drinking too much wine: The Wrath of Grapes.
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
My Mum rang the other day to complain that my Dad had forgotten their anniversary. It was definitely The Call of the Wild.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ouch. Sounds like she made him take the stand.
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
Yeah - it took all my persuasive powers to calm her down. It was like the taming of the shrew.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
cochick,
did you use the talisman I sent you?
fallow
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
fallow,
it must be Lost in America somewhere!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
oh well, I'm your huckleberry, then.
finn (err... flish, fallow)
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
You better not do that again because Tom saw yer.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Tom's sore, ya?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Olcott right to the Chaucer. A tear Wells up. There Hugo again. These are les miserablest puns Twain here and Homer. Hugo your way and Iago mine.
I saw a guy who looked nothing like me. There, I thought, but for the face and bod go I. Cute little Dickens, though. I Wodehouse him if I could. Heard he likes Burroughs, though. Maybe E'd Gar'd the place for the right pRice.
I Shelley-ve this thread and for now I'll cower de day away, Asimov as soon as the Sands sets. Not my Proust day ever.
I wish I could really get my writing career to blast off, but I'm no Verne or yon Brontes.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Shelley begin by expressing my horror at this topic. I am a Poe substitute as a punwit of literary Kings. If you do the Mathe son you will be unable to Bloch out the obvious. Scary stories Stoker the flame of fear, but sometimes recieve short shrift when it comes to literary praise. Stevenson of the the great names are ridiculed when penning in this genre.
[ May 16, 2004, 08:48 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, what have you been Dune? I have missed your puns. When you are around, I am Rowling on the floor with laughter.Really, when you are gone, things fall apart.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Once again I must protest my credentials to speak knowledgeably on the subject of spy novels. Forsyth I'm Es peonage so to speak.
*snort*, *cough*, *gag*, *spit* Sorry, please pardon my Fleming.
Back to the issue at hand or Le Carre back on the road again. Littel did I realize that this topic was so Clancy but then to Follet to its logical conclusion does perhaps involve some risk.
My wife is Greene with jealousy due to my attention to Hatrack so Without Remorse I'll have to return later.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, I've just been Pottering around.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
And well quite Frankly, Herbert, my pet mouse escaped and I've been searching for him.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
There was one hilarity filled moment in the search for Herbert. Our cat slipped in the door and we were trying to shoo her out for fear she would find Herbert first. *Gasp* I had picked up a long stick to aid in the capture of Spot, the cat. Setting the scene, Wife mans the door, Daughter chases cat down the stairs, Punwit Shakes spear and yells "Out, out, damn Spot" Herbert safe again.
[ May 16, 2004, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I really hate reading about the Spanish Inquisition. Oh, Lord! Foul Spain!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I keep hearing how I will get shorter as I get older. I HATE this idea of Withering Heights!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Liz & punwit, Uris funny as I've ever seen.
I try to write good ones, but I feel as if I'm just Milne around. Puzo funny, I just can't compete. Orwell, I guess I should just quit. Zelazny I need is more proof of my inferiority as a writer. I feel like I'm in a Virgil tie for third place in a three person race. I wish I could Plato a bigger audience, but I guess it's not in the Cards. Tolstoy of my life.
If I ever did sell something, that would be a truly Joyce occassion, though. The only thing I've been offered lately is to write for a sports magazine. Turns out they wanted to pay me in copies -- Socrates!
Hammet! Hammet all to Becket!
Signed,
Your faithful Cervantes,
- Bob
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
Heard the latest idea for butchers - renta meat
otherwise known as Hamlet
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
My son's soccer game was so boring today. They kept kicking the ball out of the sidelines. It was just a Game of Throw-ins.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Did you hear about the Japanese prosecutor that was Holden a grudge against a female suspect?
His stated goal was to "Catcher in a Rye".
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm remembering a young lady I dated briefly years ago. Her name was Nelle. She was very nice but a bit sensitive about her lazy left eye.
Well, anyway we went to a Ted Nugent concert. Everything was fine until people started throwing things. Ted Nugent even encouraged it. It was a travesty. Bottles, cans and whatall was flying through the air, N'iven Pour Nelle was smote in the Good Eye.
[ May 16, 2004, 03:25 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, I know you are a beer man, so you will appreciate this travesty. I was eating a hot dog and drinking a beer. I dropped part of my hot dog in the mug. It made it into a frank-in-stein.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*groans at all*
punwit, that last one was particularly impressive.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Why thank you rivka. I'd like to Ring t' World with puns.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
That sound truly monstrous Elizabeth.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
What integral-tree you have.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Rivka, If you are not going to praise my Game of Throw-ins pun, then please, you go. I am feeling like Liz Miserable
[ May 16, 2004, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I must confess to not getting all of yours, Liz. I pray you won't give me 40 whacks.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I know I said I wanted to Ring t' World with puns but I gotta admit AsImov into the adult world I realize that Childhood Ends. Still I Robot the notion that you can't have any fun as you age. Perhaps this is the Foundation for staying young.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yes, it is the secret of staying young, an' rand-y.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I was helping a neighbor locate their 2 Maine Coon cats. If you've ever seen one you know how big they are. Eric, the neighbor, was quite distraught. To be supportive and optimistic I said "The Great Gatsby around here somewhere".
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I work in the construction field and was involved with a complete remodel last year in Kansas City. The house and grounds were being completely redone. The landscapers doing the bulk of the work were named Lex and Lee. I overheard the owner complaining one day about several trees that had been planted the day before, "Ah Lex, Hey Lee, these Roots seem to be exposed".
[ May 16, 2004, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Did you hear E-Bay is selling prepared food they will ship anywhere you go.
I travel Around the World 'n eat E-Bays.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
One time, back when I was auditioning for the Little Mermaid, I tangled with the Octopus.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
When I was still living at home I received some advice from my father concerning home security. He said "What son?, it's elementary, when leaving be Sher t'Lock the Holmes.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
That last pun was hard work, I really Doyled over it.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Jeez where is everyone tonight? All tired and hungover from the big celebration last night huh? What Dumas scheduled the festivities so late? I'm guessing it was some Baum from London.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
My son was very afraid of some cows down the road. Every time we passed them on our drive home, he would say, "Bye Bull."
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Did you hear about the engaged couple that were fighting over the grooms propensity to flirt. The woman commented with great Gustav, "My Damn Beau's Very friendly with strange women!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I read somewhere about a biography of the great Russian writer. The author of the biograph, Professor Pees, had a first name "Warren"
So yes, there is a book out there: "Leo Tolstoy by Warren Pees"
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I've got a really smart buddy by the name of Daniel Golf. I remember telling him about a lyric poem I wrote to bushy hair. Let me rephrase that, I Tol keen Dan Golf bout my ode Fro.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Paging Elizabeth. C'mon there's lotsa material left here. I feel like I'm talking to myself almost. Oh well, next pun.
I heard that the story Jungle Book was based on a true story. The difference was that in real life the boy was lame. Apparently the tiger hit him with a Ruddy hard Crippling blow.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
It was the Shere Kahn-tact of the blow that did it.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Baloo him at least 40 feet.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Aesop wit dat?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Bob I'm sorry I realize the true story was a bit of a Grimm tale.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think you'll regrettle that joke in the morning. Hansel-down, that was the worst pun yet.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Amazon: Oh no it wasn't! [Amazon shakes spear]
[ May 17, 2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Does anyone remember that syrupy smack writer from the late fifties? Oh that's right Jack Karowhack. Thank god I beatnic to that one.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
This is such a rich topic I can't believe everyones' interest has died out. I know we can be much more Thoreau.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Oh c'mon I know it's Tru man, this thread can't be Caput e.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
At this point I would even welcome criticsm. Like, "Jeez, Emerson bad puns".
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Even my friend John knowles that it takes a separate piece of your brain to make good puns.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I Will Roger s that statement Dagonee.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Speaking of Jack Kerouac reminded me of something. An uncle of mine was in New York doing those hedonistic days. His comment was "You could see the Uptown Sin clear from Jersey".
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The king had a bad night. He had so many problems he started to have animal dreams. Luckily, his servant Barb, er, uh, Jane, came up with a solution. She became the king's solver. Hey, it's better than bein' Terese!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Ah Elizabeth, you've returned. I've missed your wit lately. It's less fun when there are fewer groaning.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Where have you Bean? Trees pehaps?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, I have to go again, to brighten up my bleak house.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think you've both missed your Collins. We'll Keep praying for you.
Just remember that you might have life's riches handed to you -- Somerset that way -- or you might have to live off your parents' creativity. Maugham and Dada're always there for you.
de Sade'st thing is never to try. Byroning away, you accomplish nothing.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh my god! I saw Dana's face in my dream last night, Bob! I had seen her in my dream before. It was a bride's head, revisited. She was really Evil In my dream. Waugh, are you ever in for it!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Becket your pardon, Samuel yours? Donkey outre.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
There was a search for weapons at school the other day. Officer Clavell barged into the room and yelled, "Show Gun!!!!"
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
There was some particularly vicious loan sharks that would take terribly revenge on late payers. One of their debtors got behind and when to a local church to ask the priest to say a Prayer for Owin' Meanies.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I will continue to plumb the depths of this topic to find new puns. I will boldly Goethe where no sane man has gone before, exploring the Heart of Darkness with Bierce diligence as I Chekhov the list of classic works of literature
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I hope the above post wasn't to boastful. I would cringe to discover my Galls worthy of Pun ishment.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
But then, why should I be punished? I'm not Defoe of anyone here. Also, if asked nicely I would be pleased to Cooper ate.
Pehaps I need to take a breather tho, I may be looking a bit Haggard.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Aneid more time to come up with another good pun.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Then Rabelais the Smack Down!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Well, Goethe reminds me of my Faust date with my fiancee. We had some Kafka and I bought her some Candide.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Saul about the bellow, guys. You need to get up in the morning and seize the day with song. Upon awakening, you will hear Kate Choppin onions for an omelet. When Joseph wakes up, give him Heller, and then go catch 22 winks.
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
I used to hate puns, but it’s a hein line between love and hate. Or is it war and peace? Any way, I feel like a stranger in a strange land posting here. My friend Kat, who walks through walls, (she’s kind of a space cadet) assures me I’ll do a good Job and has given me this assignment; "In eternity, will we be orphans of the sky,forever to sailbeyond the sunset? Or will we roam the green hills of earth carefree, with time enough for love and every day a Friday?"
[ May 20, 2004, 12:45 AM: Message edited by: Wussy Actor ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Hi,
ah... whatha thread needs is some fresh voices.
longfallow
edit: meter, doncha know *ouch*
[ May 20, 2004, 12:54 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
My uncle the baker drinks too much and always takes his work home with him. His last vacation can be described in five words. Beer and Loaving in Las Vegas.
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
Worried about their allergies in the torrents of spring, I went across the river and through the trees to visit my parents. I wanted to check up on the old man and the see how my mother was doing. Mother was hemming away in earnest, but dad looked like death in the afternoon. I asked him what was wrong and he asked if it would be a good idea to buy the lot next door. “For what,” I asked. “For room. The Bells tole us that the city was getting overcrowded.” I assured him that the lot next door was not something that he needed to have, and have not thought about it since.
Posted by Godric (Member # 4587) on :
Herman woke at the sounds of mutiny on the balcony.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
As we are all apparently devotees of puns I can't believe one author we've missed. It a Piers Anthony has been bypassed. Now there's an author that's never shy about working them into his material. Heck he even has a character named Attila The Pun.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I think these smackdown threads are great. Adams ite better than some threads. Aldiss anyone who disagrees. I just can't Bear the thought of anyone putting down us punsters.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Y'all are mackillian me! This thread is Taylor-made for people who have large libraries at their disposal. I tried to amass a big book collection, but it eventually filled the place and I had to build my first addition. That's when I found out that I live in a Random House so stuff keeps disappearing and you often can't tell if you are looking at a cat or a log. But you know what they say, a folio and his money are soon parted. Maybe I'm just spineless. But it's true that I need a lot more space. And now that Michael Jackson is in financial trouble, it's possible that I might get a lease on Wonderland. Oh wait, that's Neverland, isn't it? Sorry. Don't Pan me for making a simple mistake. Better Dodge, son! Wend' you become such an expert? I'm just lost, boys. Gepetto believe it! Maybe I'll just end up living in a small tent. Yep, I'll just pup it! Sorry to string you along like that. I wood peg your bargain, but only if I were your humble servant -- the valet of the dowels. Okay, that last one was cheesy. It's okay though, it was sharp Cheddar and I know why the aged curd stings.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, That was Knopf funny at all.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Merlin, reporting on the King's condition while he has food poisoning: "Art's emisis's foul."
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Eternity code be a long time around ol' Art, I bet.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
da finchie's are mine!
*retires to galapagos*
fallow
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
fallow, that one really had some tang, which, as we all know is the oranges of the spacies.
[ May 22, 2004, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I can't BELIEVE Maxine hung Kingston. What a brutal woman warrior she is! So much better than those China men warriors.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
[off topic slightly] Try to say "Ludlum" five times fast [/off topic slightly]
Arden of iniquity seems to be Fagan away.
Should we throw another epilog on the fire and start a new Smackdown?
Posted by Wussy Actor (Member # 5937) on :
Oh sure, dump it as soon as it gets boring. You're just like my para keats. Get a little bored and we have to bear the bronte of it. That is just such t.s. Eliot really yeats people like you. Forget it. I'm going to get my browning.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
This is our first testament to press on even when things are getting bogged down. DaGoat n Berg (Richard) need to type a post here as well. Printing this has helped me bind my thoughts more closely.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Ya know this reminds me of my bowling league. There are players that you know are capable of doing better but they are holding back to keep their averages down. We Carl them Sandbergers.
Oops, edit to make the pun better. I hope I don't get Carled on it.
[ May 22, 2004, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You know, Bob, I will be honest. I am truly disappointed with the lack of prizes at the end of these Smackdowns, and I think you are being a real chicken about it. I ask you, Bob, will it be Pullets or Prize?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, I am truly in awe of that last effort. I'm clapping my hands and if I could I'd ring a bell but alas I have Nobel to ring. Peace to you all.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Thank you, Punwit. I am tired, though, and must lie down. Our bed is broken, though, so i will have to lie down on this thing Called a Cot.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
That pun I also prized although it was a bit unclear. One might say Nebula s
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
There Hugo again, Punwit.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Someone ought to throw the book at you lot.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Scott, while I appreciate your feedback, I think we should shelve the discussion for now.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I've tabled the merits of what you say, and I don't think there's a grain of truth in it.
For one thing, woodn't it be nice to stop all the censorship? You want us all to be bench-warmers?
I'm the chair of my college's anti-censorship league; you can't just stuff my opinion under the bed.
(Bleh, how do Bob and Chris DO this? I've got a headache. . .)
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Scott, are you saying your brain feels like pulp? I know what you mean. There is not much binding mine together, either.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
"It was a dark and stormy thread."
I would gladly see someone else put together the awards for these threads. I myself am bound to fail, I'm bound and gagged. Maybe we could share duties so that we could inter-leave the awards?
By the way, Am I the only one who has bookmarked this thread?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, perhaps the awards should just be given based on word count.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Well, that about covers it.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ok, Bob, if you say so. As long as you aren't just embossing us around.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Well...I do feel a little like royalty.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*helps bob into his jacket and dusts off the sleeves*
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I've been so long stalking the elusive best pun that I Fyodor has closed. Ovid like to say that Hans down this is the best Smackdown ever. It's been an Honore just to post here Whitman and woman alike. Alighieri the memory of it through to the end of time, a brief history of which Machievelli velli tired.
And that, my Franz, is all I've got to give at the moment.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, I think that is just your pride and prejudice speaking. I notice that you declare a smackdown over quite austen, when there is much more material to be used.
My poor uncle. He got bug bites all over his legs and arms. He scratched them until they got bloody. Now poor Uncle Tom's scabbin.
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
Oh come on its time we shelved this surely!
Some of these puns are so suspect and need to be brought to book 'case OSC is watching
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Nah, OSC is probably off somewhere studying up on Moses, and his educational background. He is finding him to have been a very well Read Prophet.
[ May 22, 2004, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Quite honestly it is a mystery to me why you all are Hammet ing up. This is serious business and as Aunt Fran cis, "Quit horsing around". I believe it is Christie Clear that we Cain continue to produce quality puns. So Parker your butt in front of the keyboard and produce.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Archetyping but nothing funny comes out.
The immortal bard a pen from me, and he NEVER gave it back! Ever!
<note: you know, living in Texas has helped my punning by opening whole new vistas of mispronunciation...bard...hahahahahahah>
You know, genrely I don't go in for puns, but these threads have such a wonderful mix of adventure, romance, and just a bit of smut that I can't avoid them!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"To be or not to be."
"On top of Old Smokey"
What a nice pair o' phrases, eh?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
I pray you won't give me 40 whacks.
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
This thread is Taylor-made for people who have large libraries at their disposal. I tried to amass a big book collection, but it eventually filled the place and I had to build my first addition. That's when I found out that I live in a Random House so stuff keeps disappearing and you often can't tell if you are looking at a cat or a log. But you know what they say, a folio and his money are soon parted. Maybe I'm just spineless. But it's true that I need a lot more space. And now that Michael Jackson is in financial trouble, it's possible that I might get a lease on Wonderland. Oh wait, that's Neverland, isn't it? Sorry. Don't Pan me for making a simple mistake. Better Dodge, son! Wend' you become such an expert? I'm just lost, boys. Gepetto believe it! Maybe I'll just end up living in a small tent. Yep, I'll just pup it! Sorry to string you along like that. I wood peg your bargain, but only if I were your humble servant -- the valet of the dowels. Okay, that last one was cheesy. It's okay though, it was sharp Cheddar and I know why the aged curd stings.