I went to the mall yesterday, and I was strolling through the length of the mall I noticed something quite odd. There were about 4 vehicles in the middle of the mall on display. What I'm wondering is, how do you get a car in the middle of the mall?? The doors aren't big enough...
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I expect that there is a loading dock somewhere in the facility, and that the the entrance from the dock to the mall proper is large enough to move a car through.
Or maybe it's really a type of toad stool that just looks like a car, and it sprouted there after that accident they had with the sprinkler system a few weeks ago.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
do you think they assembled the car in the mall
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Oh, c'mon ! Don't tell me you've never heard of teleportation !?!
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
i've never heard of teleportation
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Corwin did specifically ask you not to tell him you'd never heard of teleportation.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
quote: Don't tell me you've never heard of teleportation !?!
Well his use of punctuation threw me off. Two !'s and one ?. What's that supposed to mean?
[ May 11, 2004, 09:43 AM: Message edited by: kaioshin00 ]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Do I start too many pointless threads?
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
Maybe they take them partially apart, ant put them together inside.
Or maybe they have a "secret door" somewhere that they can fit through.
Or maybe they're really just collapsable bodies and not a "real" car...
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
There is no car.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Often, the main entrance doors are actually doors mounted in the equivalent of a swinging garage door, with bolts holding it in the "normally closed" position.
And when they are not, the doors&frame are designed to be easily disassembled and disconnected from the ceiling joist, floor, and exterior support beams. And equally easy to reassemble and reconnect.
[ May 11, 2004, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
Actually, most malls today have faux roofs that are latched on in a couple of places. At night, they pop the latches and use 4 helicopters to life it, then a fifth to lower the car inside.
It's pretty amazing to watch, if you happen to be up at that hour.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
See, I heard that it was pixies. As long as the mall management remembers to leave a saucer of milk on the mall's doorstep, the pixies just shrink the car, push it into the mall (as everyone knows, pixies don't drive), and then enlarge it back to its original size.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
The hallways that lead to the bathrooms are extremely wide. Didn't you notice?
Posted by Alexa (Member # 6285) on :
I think they enlisted the aid of Chris Knight and Mitch Taylor to help. Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
Don't most malls have loading bays of somesort in the security area?
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Nope, none of them do. It they did I would have mentioned it.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
PSI, are you saying they could drive these cars into the bathrooms? What kind of sense would that make?
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Noemon, maybe there are loading bays somewhere, like, where we can't see them.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Zgator, sometimes, even at the mall, you have to change your fluids.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I'm thinking there might be a dock or something.
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
NO, I didn't mean a loading dock. I meant something completely different. A place with a large concrete pad and big overhead doors used to bring in large items.
[ May 11, 2004, 12:22 PM: Message edited by: beatnix19 ]
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
Noemon is right about the shrinkage of the car, but there are no pixies involved. The truth is, everything in the mall is miniature size, so there was never any effort needed to push the car through.
The reason we see it full-size is a microscopically thin, clear veil that is put over our eyes as we walk through the entrance doors that make us see things larger than they are. How else do you explain young girls that wear short, short skirts? Or books with empty pages? Or CDs with only eight songs? Or decaf coffee?
Of course, this conspiracy runs deeper than the mall, but hopefully you now understand.
[ May 11, 2004, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: Da_Goat ]
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Possums...!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
quote:Noemon, maybe there are loading bays somewhere, like, where we can't see them.
Now you're talkin' crazy talk!
Hey, you still owe me an email CT! If you've got time, I'd love to get some feedback on what I sent you.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
quote:I'm thinking there might be a dock or something.
When will the insanity end? I ask you!
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Why must everyone have different answers?? I want the truth!!!
Posted by Alexa (Member # 6285) on :
I'm telling the truth. They hired Chris Knight and Mitch Taylor!
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
i dont know who they are!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
They're pixies, obviously.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
whats a pixie?
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
They're the beings responsible for getting cars into shopping malls.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Now you know.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
How come i've never heard of these so called pixies
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I was about to ask you the same question!
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
so everyone knows about pixies?
Can I buy one from somewhere?
If so, do they come with a warranty?
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
quote: The truth is, everything in the mall is miniature size, so there was never any effort needed to push the car through.
The reason we see it full-size is a microscopically thin, clear veil that is put over our eyes as we walk through the entrance doors that make us see things larger than they are
Well how come the Mall building looks so big from the outside, when we don't have the veil on our eyes?
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
quote:Have you people never seen Real Genius?
nope Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
quote:so everyone knows about pixies?
Can I buy one from somewhere
Pixies can't be bought, but they can be bribed. A saucer of milk left on your doorstep at night will generally do the trick. Also, be advised not to call you offering a payment, or they'll take off.
[ May 11, 2004, 02:54 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Oh dear, i don't have a saucer.
Will a bowl do?
And do they prefer skim milk or whole milk?
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
They're big fans of half and half, actually.
You're going to have to buy a saucer though; they're sticklers about things like that.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
quote:Well how come the Mall building looks so big from the outside, when we don't have the veil on our eyes?
That's actually just an illusion caused when sunlight reflects against a chemical only emitted from big business.
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
quote: Often, the main entrance doors are actually doors mounted in the equivalent of a swinging garage door, with bolts holding it in the "normally closed" position.
This is how the store I worked at was. If you hit the doors right, they swing open. It also is a safety thing, if there is a fire and people run at the doors, and miss the auto open sensor, they doors will pop open, and there will also be a wider opening than when the doors naturally open (since both the doors, and the glass panels next to the doors are on the same hinge.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I favor the "assembled in the mall explanation". Unless your mall has an atrium with large glass windows. Then they can put a ramp up the side of the mall, drive the car through the windows (which are actually made of clear candy, with a sound effects foley) and a parachute is deployed so they aren't damaged on landing. The tough part is cleaning up all the candy pieces and getting new ones in place before opening.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*presents this thread the "Hobbes' (no, not that Hobbes) Dad's Explanation Award"*
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
no one is taking this seirously!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Noemon, I'll write tomorrow. I've been thinking about you, but I've been kind of stunned by having to have my cat put down this weekend (pancreatic cancer and in crisis ). I'm still gathering my thoughts, but I'm excited to see where you go with this.
You know, do you think there could be, like, a sort of "loading" area around back? Someone ought to make one of those, especially with all the loading and all that goes on.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Hey claudia I have something that will cheer you up about you're cat. Just look the other thread i started o.O
Can't run it (corrupted file?), found the discussion afterward tedious. I am difficult to amuse, callow boy, but you are welcome to continue trying.
Perhaps there was an area set up, distinct but still a part of the mall, a sort of place where one could load large items? Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Suddenly I realize I am very old. There is little about the late second and third decade of life which I find amusing anymore.
It isn't shocking, it isn't offensive, it's just ... tiresome. So much energy spent reinventing the wheel all over again.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
What do you mean "reinventing the wheel"
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I think she's calling you a square. j/k
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Yep, what Tom said.
kaioshin00, when I was in high school, my friends rode the initial self-piercing-with-a-safety-pin wave. They were early-eighties Punks. They considered themselve terribly shocking, and though I went along with it (as a friend), it still seemed more like watching someone masterbate who's only going through the motions than anything really interesting.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
CT, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. How old was she (or he)? What was her name? I take it this happened suddenly? I'm always shocked by how much it hurts when a being you love dies. It just never gets easier. If it would help at all, tell us stories about her.
((CT))
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Hey, you know what they should have in malls? Some kind of area where they could take merchandise out of trucks, and...oh...I don't know...load it onto something docklike. They could call it a "loading dock", to coin a term.
Posted by Alexa (Member # 6285) on :
quote:no one is taking this seirously!
I am. Watch "Real Genius," and I am sure you will agree.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
What would be even better is if they had a section of the mall reserved for eating. They could call it the "food area" or the "food square" maybe.
No, wait! Call it the "food court".
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Nah, that'd never go over. Who'd want to eat food in a mall?
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Wow, kaioshin, that was incredibly cruel.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
Pixies?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
What's sad, Aja, is that I don't think he realizes it was cruel at all. I think CT pegged it with "callow."
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
That is startling, that that level of cruelty wasn't intentional.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
I'm confused like white on rice. What was cruel?
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Person A: I just lost a cat that I cared about, and I'm still really upset about it.
Person B: Hey, Person A, you know what's funny? Killing cats! Check out these videos of cats getting killed! Woo!
You don't see anything wrong with that?
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I am of an age where I assume young'uns see me as an immovable object, which -- in some ways -- I suppose I am. My expectation therefore was that either this young man is doltish enough to not get it, or he was anticipating that I'd be mortally wounded and folks would jump all over him, in which case he could pretend to be surprised and confused by the reaction.
Either way, he'll get over it. It's a phase.
Jake, I would love to tell you about her. She loved thunderstorms, and she used to sit out on the enclosed back porch while lightning crackled and thunder boomed, shaking the picnic table on which she perched. She will be cremated, and we will bury her on the top of a nearby hillside where they set off firecrackers every Fourth of July. It is also a magnificent spot for thunderstorm-viewing.
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Maybe it's a phase, or maybe we'll end up hearing about him one night on the evening news.
CT, that sounds like a wonderful arrangement. She was a very lucky kitty to have been so well loved and understood by her human.
[ May 12, 2004, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: Ayelar ]
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Sounds like a great cat CT--you guys were lucky to know each other. The spot on the hill sounds perfect.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
So no one's the REAL answer to the mall question?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The real answer is that the small front doors all swing in as one bigger door. I have seen them pull cars in and out of malls. All that glass area at the entrance is really just one big gate, but since it only moves when equipment is in there, you don't see it much.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Thanks, Dan. That also explains how they get all those big stores in there. They just wheel them in through the entrance. I've always wondered how they do that.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
*hugs CT* I'm sorry about your cat. There aren't really words the feeling is too deep.
But, maybe I can send some corgi loving your way. If you (and your hubby) come to visit us in the next month or two, you can also get the added bonus of seeing nine Bernese Mountain Dog puppies too. They were born last night and I got to help deliver two of them!
AJ
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
What did you have to do Bana? I've never seen a dog birth that needed assistance.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I basically caught the puppy as it was coming out. Yes they would have been fine if they had fallen to the floor since they didn't have far to fall, but the fact the mother quite obviously turned around for me to catch them was an honor. And I helped massage her to help with the pain from the contractions.
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). I'm still gathering my thoughts, but I'm excited to see where you go with this.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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