Identity theft is a growing concern these days, as evidenced by the serious expressions on the faces of the news anchors. Unscrupulous people are Googling your garbage or something and getting your personal, private information. Then, dressed like you and speaking with an odd accent, they use your name to apply for something financially crippling like a new sports car, a small vacation island in the tropics, or the Columbia House Music Club.
You never felt it, there was no odd tugging at your wallet. But unbeknownst to you, your name is whomping up a staggering mound of debt and your credit rating now has a radioactive shelf life of 4,000 years.
"I never even guessed until the men from the collection agency showed up at my door with baseball bats," you'll say. "They told me I owed $476,000 for office supplies I never ordered! And that I owed another $13,000 for shipping and handling! Also, my kidneys."
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
OK, that was FUNNY! Can I be "Scooter" Lord Byron? Posted by PaladinVirtue (Member # 6144) on :
Great stuff!
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Amanda Hugnkiss!!!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Aaahhhhh
This explains a few folks desire to pick new names here every three hours.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Very funny.
quote: Then, dressed like you and speaking with an odd accent, they use your name to apply for something financially crippling like a new sports car, a small vacation island in the tropics, or the Columbia House Music Club
I read this, and the little voice inside my head started up with "Yes, I vould be liking a new spowts caw. One that goes vewy fast."
Posted by Leo Tolstoy (Member # 6436) on :
Don't knock it. It worked out nicely for me. You should see my royalties...
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
quote: Ever. Under any circumstances. Burn your insurance card, shred your wallet, punch anyone who calls you by name in the face. Systematically go through every official document that contains any data about you whatsoever and destroy it immediately, even the phone number on your dog's tags.
LOL
Posted by Sweet William (Member # 5212) on :
I love you, Amanda Huggenkiss.
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
Once again, a great column.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
A suggestion that was cut for space:
Hide in the crowd
Name all of your children, male and female, your exact name. Your pets, too. Take your spouse's name, no matter what sex you are.
Sort of the "I'm Brian and so's my wife" school of financial security.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
The "punch in the face" line was the biggest laugh this time.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
But, if my name is already Amanda, should I really change my last name to Huggenkiss? Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
No, you should change your name to "Alphonso Markowitz."
Only you can't now, since it's been publicly posted on a message board. Sorry.
[ April 14, 2004, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
That was a good one, Chris. Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
That was great. I love reading your articles every week, they're always wonderful
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
A friend of mine had his identity stolen over a decade ago. He's still dealing with it. He's tried to get legislation passed.
I saw something a week or so ago about some new legislation that was being/going to be proposed that would allow the individual to call up the credit bureau, get a password, and then turn off their credit. That way, no one could apply for and get credit. Then, if you want a loan or a new credit card, you call and turn it on, then turn it back off when the company you are dealing with is done. I like this idea.
Oh, and I worked for a company once that forced us to wear ID badges that included our name and "employee number" which was our social security number.
I've always lived by the belief espoused in the column. We'd been doing pretty good at ruining our credit till recently. We got approved for a home loan! And then our banker got his laptop stolen out of his car. Unfortunately, his entire client list with all our pertinent information, was in the laptop case.
Oh, and I lied. My husband has good enough credit to get a home loan. My credit rating is 0. So far, all the have in their computer about me is that I am a person.
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
Universities, a lot of them, make the students use their Social Security numbers as student ID numbers. One university (i forget with) had someone get a test result list with hundreds of students social security numbers on it, and steal from TONS of them. Its a very foolish way of doing things.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Whickleberry. "Wh" and a "k" sound.
Brilliant. Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Um, hey, Chris, what's the A stand for, again? (And what was your mother's maiden name?)
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Arkansas.
And my mother, tragically, never had a maiden name. It's a family scandal we prefer to keep to ourselves until Random House gets back in touch.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
Amanda Hugnkiss!!!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Very funny.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)