Okay, this is where you have to pun on sophisticated city-type things. We need a classy spin on things. Sort of a gentrifical force, if you will.
I'm going to waltz on out of here for a bit...have a ball.
Deadline: All posts must be in by midnight Central time (1 hour later than Hatrack time) on Friday.
That's Good Friday, folks, so if you'd rather I delay the deadline for a happier moment, please let me know.
[ April 07, 2004, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
We all know this will end in a dark Black Tie if we do this by secret Ballet. Which way will we determine the winner?
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
"I'm going to waltz on out of here for a bit"
I'll probably be offenbach myself. I need to visit to my Tiebout class to evict me from my slumber.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm sure some phony will show up to orchestrate this affair.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Yeah, but what will he have to chauffeur it?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Maybe nothing and it could place a a what's the word.. er.... bane on his life.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I think while I'm visiting the big city I should shout out an insult. We can call it my debut taunt.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, this is a vintage thread, for sure.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I had some bread tonight, but the bottom was soggy, so I had to eat the upper crust.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, quit wining.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
"I'm sure some phony will show up to orchestrate this affair."
Nay that follows not, for such administrative powers are allusory.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
If I'm going to the city, I'd like a one night stand up. Problem is, is I'm a thespian.
[ April 07, 2004, 09:20 PM: Message edited by: T_Smith ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
How much does that broad weigh?
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I don't know but what a gallery!
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
She does have pretty broad shoulders. You might want to watch out for her Feminine Wildes.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Wow did anyone else see that S car go?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Patty did. She had to duck or she would not have been a liver.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
(Bob, is there a prize for when your OWN pun makes you groan in pain?)
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Can I invite a friend to join this pate?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, you are a bon wit. But don;t worry, I won't tell 'er.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
You can't caviarly invite anyone you want.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
wine not?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm beginning to get disillusioned. I believe this whole event is a sham and a pain.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
They won;t let you in the door, man!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I've got a buddy in the IT industry. He's asked me to help co-ordinate a big dance In LA. I get to Chair the IT Ball.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I went to a party last night, but I must've been under-dressed because the hostess' man shunned me. I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I stayed all night under the canape. Fortunately, I had my wireless card and was able to get the net working.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, that sounds a bit petty for you.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Is it true that they give every UN delegation a symbolic stick? I hear they're called the country clubs.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
I'm just going to museum over and have a glance at this thread.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
"Say, cabbie! What's going on over there?"
*jabs a finger in the direction of the guy waltzing himself out the door*
"lemme off here, please!"
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Did you hear the one about the transvestite with the singing leg? He/she had an opera shin.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
*groans in mock despair*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*spins around to see Shan crash the urbanity*
*tips the cabbie* *winks*
"keep it running"
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*sprints after Shan, catches her on the steps*
"babe, yer daisy dukes are showin'. Might wanna look presentable. It's one of those Showpatz affairs."
[ April 08, 2004, 12:59 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
*blushes, giggles and tosses ribbon-bound braids behind her with a jaunty toss of her head; strips off the heels and says - let's tango! err - that is, two-step. . . *
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*watches Shan bound through the hotel's doors*
*dials Bob*
"Bob, dunno where your waltzing arse went to, but I wanted to apologize before hand. There's a birthday girl here. I hope you can join us."
fallow
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Hey fallow! They have a mosh pit in this place! Can you believe it!!!! Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
They do?!
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Well, look at those folks - they keep lurching into one another on a pretty regular basis . . . what do you make of it?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Dunno. This is Showpatz we're talking about. Lecherous old fool. Could be some kind of satanic ritual of some sort!
you look fantastic, by the way.
*drops an arm around shannon*
*beams*
[ April 08, 2004, 01:22 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Sweetie!
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Look, in this town, our polloy are as hoy as anyone's!
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Not according to what the man from Lima's seen.
May-or pets be allowed to participate? Or can we not pet-agree?
T_Smith made such a clever pun, everybody. So sigh at T.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
tux, tux, such delight-Vul Gar-ish behavior.
Most of our threads have been discusions of morality, debating things like what blatant deviants and Frank talk of the Sin-atra-mp may commit.
Or we have political talk, like where to buy a Democrat--at the Dean Mart-in California.
Or biblical discusion, like which phrophet is older. I thought Sam-my, but Dav-is Junior.
Or we play on line games, like Chess, when Joe took my pawn, but I took Joey's Bishop.
But these pun, pardon my Wine, are just a Rat Pack of bad taste.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
I bet one day there'll be a man who fines people for making puns. Dan_Raven, it be verily he'll bill ye for those.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
By the way, Bob, congrats on another capitol thread.
I tell ya, whenever I get depressed that my life is getting choatic and out of control, when I really start to feel entropy, these threads are real fun-raisers.
(edit: I just wanted to add that I don't hate fluff at all.)
(edit: I really did edit "capital" because I realized that that spelling wasn't a pun. That blunder reminds me of my couch-potato dad. I call 'em both "sofa pa".)
[ April 08, 2004, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
So are a lot of people coming to this get-together?
(admittedly, this pun's a little hard to find)
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
All of the sports teams had pictures taken on Tuesday; it was really one of those Cameron Dias.
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
I ran off a cliff and I was just falling and falling and falling... turns out it was just a Midsummer Night's Dream.
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
All of the accountant's are working long hours, but I guess that's just because it's taxi-son.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
I hear that the cab drivers won't let you in if you have a bird with you. I guess the duck-shuns are quite common when the taxi's on duty. Sometimes the heiress that I courier pigeons for has to get involved.
[ April 08, 2004, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Japanese to English pun:
Name an American city that is a number between three and six. . . . . . . . . . . . shi ka go (four or five)
Sorry Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Elvish to English pun (sorta):
Name a city that could be a description for the Uruk-Hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
New yrch!
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Said to my wife after a long day, sightseeing Chicago on foot:
"Let's get the el out of here!"
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
My dad was a prime meer fisherman. He caught stuff like red herring, red carp, et. al. He used strange bait too. Anything he could find really, grubs, holly, wood sometimes. Now he's dead and buried. His body's a host for worms. Papa rots, he does. That's why I'm a ward of the state. But he did leave a cat to me (which I'd like to think was his way of saying, "I love you.")
I remember he'd have to fling his line out really far to get to some fish, but then for instance it was only a flick of a wrist to crappie.
(Sorry guys, stuff just kept coming to me.)
[ April 08, 2004, 03:57 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I see the depressing, mean and nasty poet has arrived to entertain us. He's the bully bard of broken dreams.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Andie Taylor was watching his son play baseball. The proud father yelled: "Opie! Rah!!"
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
You know, my father used to live in the city. He took me back to see the house he grew up in. It was falling down and rotting, all used up. I figured this was as close to a spent house view as I'm gonna get.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I went to a party where everyone was sharing walking sticks. When I asked why, the host said, "Oh, we are using co-canes.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*peers at the chocolate bar and the peanut-butter jar*
One of these two goes on the Ritz. I'm sure of it. But which one?
*peers at the cracker*
Which one?
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
What Mongolians call it when calves mingle in the corral:
New Yak Talk Exchange
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Skillery, That MAY OR may not be the biggest groaner of the thread.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
She defied people!
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
I'll help the kids feed the carp so that no ONE WASTES TREATS.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Name of the Dragon that passed gas when flying over the city...
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
The judges have returned their ballots...er ballets (Thanks T_Smith), and here are the winners:
Biggest Leap T_Smith for:
quote:We all know this will end in a dark black tie if we do this by secret ballet.
Best sounding pun T_Smith for:
quote:Yeah, but what will he have to chauffeur it?
Phrase at the edges award punwit for:
quote:it could place a a what's the word...er...bane on his life.
best set up Elizabeth for:
quote:I had some bread tonight, but the bottom was soggy, so I had to eat the upper crust
best response to a pun punwit responding to the above with:
quote:Elizabeth, quit wining
paved with good intentions award Elizabeth for :
quote:How much does that broad weigh?
The Oscar for the Most Earnest pun goes to Beren One Hand for:
quote:She does have pretty broad shoulders. You might want to watch out for her Feminine Wildes.
Split my insides award punwit for:
quote: Can I invite a friend to join this pate?
Biggest Stretch Elizabeth for:
quote:Punwit, you are a bon wit. But don't worry, I won't tell 'er.
Best 'food for thought' Elizabeth for:
quote:Bob, that sounds a bit petty for you.
gone to the dogs award jehovoid for:
quote:May-or pets be allowed to participate? Or can we not pet-agree?
packed in like rats award Dan_Raven for:
quote:Or biblical discussion, like which prophet is older. I thought Sam-my, but Dav-is Junior
best suck up to the host jehovoid for:
quote:By the way, Bob, congrats on another capitol thread.
most obscure In fact, the judges asked if you wouldn't mind explaining it... To jehovoid for:
quote:So are a lot of people coming to this get-together?
Charlie's horse award MidnightBlue for:
quote:All of the sports teams had pictures taken on Tuestday; it was really one of those Cameron Dias.
best meter MidnightBlue for:
quote: All of the accountants are working long hours, but I guess that's just because it's taxi-son.
best adaptation, foreign language pun skillery for:
quote:shi ka go
best pun...long form jehovoid for:
quote:My dad was a prime meer fisherman. He caught stuff like red herring, red carp, et. al. He used strange bait too. Anything he could find really, grubs, holly, wood sometimes. Now he's dead and buried. His body's a host for worms. Papa rots, he does. That's why I'm a ward of the state. But he did leave a cat to me (which I'd like to think was his way of saying, "I love you.")
I remember he'd have to fling his line out really far to get to some fish, but then for instance it was only a flick of a wrist to crappie.
best constructed and fall down laughing award punwit for:
quote:You know, my father used to live in the city. He took me back to see the house he grew up in. It was falling down and rotting, all used up. I figured this was as close to a spent house view as I'm gonna get.
best flow skillery for:
quote:I'll help the kids feed the carp so that no-one wastes treats.
The Ooops I thought of a better way to do it award Bob_Scopatz for:
quote:I see the depressing, mean and nasty poet has arrived to entertain us. He's the bully bard of broken dreams.
Which really should've been:
quote:I see the overbearing surrealist poet has arrived to entertain us. He's the bully bard of broken dreams.
And now the final awards for the evening:
The I'm going to steal that one someday and claim I came up with it award punwit for:
quote:I think while I'm visiting the big city I should shout out an insult. We can call it my debut taunt.
biggest groaner -- our highest award... advice for robots for:
quote:Did you hear the one about the transvestite with the singing leg? He/she had an opera shin.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Thanks Bob this is great fun! Elizabeth, for what it's worth my vote for biggest groaner was your "Patty did. She had to duck or she would not have been a liver."
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, I found myself getting nauseous at my own puns in this thread,and that was certainly one of them.
Thanks Bob! These threads are so much fun, and brighten my day.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, I posit that your nausea was a complication of digesting all that rich food talk.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, please stop trying to SPAr with me.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'm actually having a lot of fun coming up with appropriate names for the awards. I think I was maid for this, but le resistance est futile, and I'm ill dressed and must ask "how green is my valet?"
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, I think your pun was way out of sequins.
[ April 10, 2004, 11:16 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Well! I never expectd such a dressing down from you, Liz.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Sorry, Bob, it is just this cold I have. I have to keep my head up to keep from dripping, and it makes me look down my nose at everyone.
[ April 10, 2004, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
You know Bob I believe you are correct. You were tailor maid for this. I've been in stitches most of the time. Even on those occaisions when someone hemmed and hawed. Sew to wrap up this thread I say "Always suit yourself and needle those that cuffaww at our bad puns"
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
OK, Bob, when is Smackdown Three?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Well, looks like Punwit has the next Bob Suckup Award all sewn up.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
To shore up the loose ends, I just want to say I completely agree with Bob's choice for "The I'm going to steal that one someday and claim I came up with it award."
That line was brilliant Punwit. I've been waiting to compliment you for days, but couldn't really do it without unraveling the fabric of this thread.
[ April 11, 2004, 08:40 PM: Message edited by: vwiggin ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
vwiggin, If you had unravelled the thread, we would have just gotten some more in the garment district.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
At the risk of giving away one that could be used later, I could reach into my deck of insults and send one your way. If you aren't used to handling these please be careful with these deala taunts.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
*takes a bow*
I'd like to thank my Handler.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
"So are a" is supposed to sound like "soiree" if you slur it a bit. Maybe I should consider using footnotes for the next round.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Thanks vwiggin. I'm glad you enjoyed it. My wife mostly looks at me with disdain and shakes her head. It's nice to get a little love now and again.
Posted by Dobbie (Member # 3881) on :
There are a lot of real estate developers in NYC, but one in particular Trumps all the others.
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