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Secret Lives of Ketchup Lovers
If you want to learn the more about a person, look no further than how they pour their ketchup. From dippers and squirters, to sprinklers and smotherers, psychologist Donna Dawson has identified seven "sauciological" types.

Those who dunk into a well of ketchup are methodical and trustworthy. But they may also be control freaks who are afraid of change. Ambitious people splodge their sauce in the middle of their food. Creative types squirt and swirl their sauce in thin lines. But deep down they are impatient and do not tolerate fools or time wasting. Those who dot their ketchup are friendly, but live conservatively and dream of adventure holidays. Smotherers are the life and soul of the party, while artists who draw faces and words on their food have an easy-going approach to life. And gourmets who keep ketchup in a cruet appear charming, but deep down may be snobbish social charmers.

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Creative types squirt and swirl their sauce in thin lines.

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I do this, but because I see it as the most efficient way of getting the right amount of ketchup on all parts of my hamburger.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
What if you don't like ketchup?

AJ
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
I'm a dunker. I don't like the ketchup directly on top of my food -- instead I take a bit of food and dunk it in ketchup.

except hamburgers, of course....

FG
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Then you're evil and opposed to all that is good and holy, AJ.
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
FG, I dunk Burgers as well. Nice big pile of ketchup, and dry burger with dry bun. Sploosh. Yummy.
 

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Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
 
I'm a dunker. People think I'm weird cause I'll order a plain cheeseburger and then dunk it into ketchup. But I only do thins because I think warm ketchup is gross.

But I find it interesting that dunkers are classified as control freaks scared of change. I'm a teacher, so control is my most faorite of all things, and change really sucks, like your wife leaving you(lousy wives!). Hmm... makes you wonder about the power of ketchup.
 

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Posted by screechowl (Member # 2651) on :
 
Brought to you by The Ketchup Advisory Board



(for those who listen to Prairie Home Companion)
 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
I went through an adolescent phase of experimentation: drinking the ketchup.

Beatnix, is there an update? I can't remember what your thread was titled.
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 

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Creative types squirt and swirl their sauce in thin lines. But deep down they are impatient and do not tolerate fools or time wasting.

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This is scary. I will not show this to Diane. She'll read it, look at me and yell "hah!" triumphantly...

It's a little off, though. If I'm the one being foolish and wasting time, I'm more or less cool with it.
 

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Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
 
I squirt my ketchup in thin little swirls as described. How else do you get it out of the little packet?
 

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Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
 
A hammer can be a pretty effective tool for emptying those packets.
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
1 Packet Ketchup
1 Cup Hot Water.

Combine.
Mix.

tada---Dorm Tomato Soup.
 

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Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
 
Ketchup has an amazing ability to stay sticky long after you've stomped a packet on the sidewalk.

Dorm tomato soup. *shudder*
 

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Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 
Ketchup was the condiment of the 20th century.

Frank's Red Hot is the new wave. Jump on the bandwagon.
 

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Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
 
We call it "Dormato Soup".

I dunk. I am methodical and trustworthy. But I am not a control freak who is afraid of change. I'd like to learn to be in control, though...at least some of the time.
 

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Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
 
Smotherer.
 

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Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
 
I do everything except the gourmet depending on my mood.

Franks Red Hot is indeed a better sauce than ketchup. I love hot sauce and at some times have about 10 varieties in the fridge at a time. I use them too quickly though, and they are pretty expensive.
 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
Anyone ever actually try the green ketchup? I never could bring myself to. The purple... maybe. I mean, I think red ketchup is artificially colored. But I just wasn't interested.
 

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Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
 
Amazing what changing one little atomic number can do to the color of ketchup.
 

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Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
 
It depends on what I'm eating. I usually do the swirly thing for hamburgers, but doing anything but a dunk for a chicken nugget would just be wrong.

Oh yeah, and I was forced to eat the green ketchup. I nearly gagged.

[ February 26, 2004, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: Da_Goat ]
 

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Posted by screechowl (Member # 2651) on :
 
The more I looked at the word "ketchup" the curiouser I got, Alice. So here is the etymology:

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Ketchup is a Chinese word in origin. In the Amoy dialect of southeastern China, koechiap means 'brine of fish.' It was acquired by English, probably via Malay kichap, toward the end of the 17th century, when it was usually spelled catchup (the New Dictionary of the Canting Crew 1690 defines it as 'a high East-India Sauce'). Shortly afterward the spelling catsup came into vogue (Jonathan Swift is the first on record as using it, in 1730), and it remains the main form in American English. But in Britain ketchup has gradually established itself since the early 18th century.

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