I have a tolerant nature, a good heart, an active imagination, and a romantic soul.
This means that I get along quite well with the ladies.
Perhaps too well.
They are calling me "one of the girls" and let me sit in on all the good juicy gossip and such.
My boss thinks its time for an intervention. He is afraid that in the battle of the sexes, I am going over to the other side--the woman's side.
I definately need to improve my macho manly reputation.
Any suggestions?
Spitting is out. One of the women has been known to do that.
Dragging me to a strip club is out. A couple of the women want to do that anyway.
Smoking is out. One of the women does that alread.
Guns, Porn, or cursing is out. It would get me fired.
In fact, I can't do anything that will get me injured, fired, or divorced.
Posted by Robespierre (Member # 5779) on :
You could be overly combative and hostile for no good reason. Works for me.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
How about scratching one's armpits and forgetting to wear deodarant?
AJ
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
quote: In fact, I can't do anything that will get me injured, fired, or divorced.
I think that might cover all the manly pursuits.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
Loud Bodily Noises!
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
quote: You could be overly combative and hostile for no good reason. Works for me.
He wants to be more manly, not more like a woman.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Bring a barbecue pit, a slab of ribs, and a case of beer to work.
Or walk around holding your balls, as this seems to work for rappers. I mean, they write poetry for Pete's sake, and look how tough they are.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
quote: How about scratching one's armpits and forgetting to wear deodarant?
That's good, but I've known women who have done those things.
I can think of one thing you could scratch or rearrange that they can't.
edit for bad spelling
[ January 22, 2004, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: zgator ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I was trying to think of things that wont get him fired!
AJ
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
Dan, please don't distress. This is a good thing. You don't seem to have the problem with your situation, it's your boss. Tell him to lighten up and that you are enjoying the extra attention (you do, right?).
And please, please, please, forgive me for using this term, but being a little "metrosexualish" is considered chic (even if the word isn't). At my work, the guy that gets along with the girls, are the ones who get the most dates with them, not to mention respect. So, this one's for you: for being just "one of the gals".
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Dan, have you tried to cut back on penning those emails you discussed before?
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
Speaking from experience from my college days, being considered "one of the girls" does NOT get you a lot of dates.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Brilliant IDEA.
I will come to work tomorrow carrying a Remote from my TV.
What's more mannly than that.
(and yes. I've cut back on those e-mails. I think it was confusing somebodies husband)
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
good thing he's already married huh?
AJ
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
Z, I guess it's all in the right technique, being comfortable in those groups and becoming a Girl, are too different things after all.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Just subscribe your boss to Playgirl; that'll take the attention off of you.
You could download a Guns & Ammo screen saver, or just make sure that when people come into your cube, they see that you're reading Ann Coulter - Sexy, Sharp and RIGHT!. Nothing that could get you fired there, but it combines a comment about finding a woman attractive with a nice, manly interest in firearms (with the bonus of defending McCarthyism!). Woo-hoo!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Dan, for God's sake, just come out of the closet and have done with it. We'll all feel better!
Seriously though, I think you've got absolutely nothing to worry about. Your boss just wants you to share the gossip. Don't do it! Keep him guessing.
And for a macho pursuit, you could just let your body hair get out of control -- especially in the nostril and ear canal areas. That'll work wonders.
And don't admit to watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It'll brand you for life!
Oh yeah, if you haven't done so already, switch to boxers.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Don't worry valentine, I won't change, and I'm not worried, except for what the girls my try to do to help with this intervention.
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
((((Dan)))) Good for you!
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
I agree with peter...
public flatulence....
Definately a purely 'guy' thing.
Make sure you laugh loudly at yourself when you do it.
I work with guys -- ADULT guys -- they still think jokes about flatulence are funny....
FG
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
fg,
It's not that we think they are funny. Inherently, farts sound funny. Ask any little kid. They laugh at the noise.
It's just the smell that we all don't like...
[edited to add emphasis]
[ January 22, 2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: peterh ]
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Just tell him you're embedded in the enemy's camp and you'll report back as needed.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Have you considered becoming an alcoholic? (Of course, then Freudians would say you're a latent homosexual. So scratch that.)
[ January 22, 2004, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
I say go to the other side, you get more perks. Satyagraha
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Yeah, crazy-messy junk food is a good idea. Lotsa ketchup. That's manly, right?
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Sports man, sports.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Tres is right.
Sports will save your masculine soul.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Shoot some pool?
Shoot a deer?
Shoot anything?
Wear flannel and drive a pick-up truck? (Note: the truck must have a gun rack which means you must have "an" gun - see Wayne's World for explanation.)
Drink whiskey. Chew tobaccy. Spit tobaccy but miss the spitoon - every time.
Belch. Loudly. Frequently. Without benefit of food or drink.
Whistle at the ladies you work with - but don't make it obvious. Oogle and leer - sneakily.
Carry a sword under your trenchcoat?
(Shakes head in dismay)
Just be you. That's always good. The "enemy's camp" comment was good, too!
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Tell your boss that you're really a female transvestite cross-dressing to look like a man.
Posted by Occasional (Member # 5860) on :
Whatever you do, don't talk. Just lear and shake your head before walking away to do whatever. There is nothing that says "guy" than short sentences and unconcern for conversation that doesn't have to do with automobiles, women, and sports.
Oh, and grow a beard and mustache as long as work expectations will allow.
[ January 25, 2004, 01:48 AM: Message edited by: Occasional ]
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Drink scotch and smoke a pipe.
Wear a smoking jacket while reading the newspaper in your slippers.
Wear a suit and hat at all times.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
A suit and hat AND a smoking jacket AND alcohol? Poor Dan'll roast!
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
is considered chic (even if the word isn't). At my work, the guy that gets along with the girls, are the ones who get the most dates with them, not to mention respect. So, this one's for you: ![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
for being just "one of the gals".
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)