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A New Global Threat - Al-Gebra

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.

Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures,with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic idiots love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point,
and drew the line.

These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.

As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse". Here is one principle he is certain of - though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.

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Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
 

 

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Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
I kept waiting for them to use "radical". But they didn't.
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 

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weapons of math instruction

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The word algebra is a Latin variant of the Arabic word al-jabr. This came from the title of a book, Hidab al-jabr wal-muqubala, written in Baghdad about 825 A.D. by the Arab mathematician Mohammed ibn-Musa al-Khowarizmi.

The words jabr (JAH-ber) and muqubalah (moo-KAH-ba-lah) were used by al-Khowarizmi to designate two basic operations in solving equations. Jabr was to transpose subtracted terms to the other side of the equation. Muqubalah was to cancel like terms on opposite sides of the equation. In fact, the title has been translated to mean "science of restoration (or reunion) and opposition" or "science of transposition and cancellation" and "The Book of Completion and Cancellation" or "The Book of Restoration and Balancing."

Jabr is used in the step where x - 2 = 12 becomes x = 14. The left-side of the first equation, where x is lessened by 2, is "restored" or "completed" back to x in the second equation.

Muqabalah takes us from x + y = y + 7 to x = 7 by "cancelling" or "balancing" the two sides of the equation.

Eventually the muqabalah was left behind, and this type of math became known as algebra in many languages.

It is interesting to note that the word al-jabr used non-mathematically made its way into Europe through the Moors of Spain. There an algebrista is a bonesetter, or "restorer" of bones. A barber of medieval times called himself an algebrista since barbers often did bone-setting and bloodletting on the side. Hence the red and white striped barber poles of today.

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(linky)
 

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Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
 

 

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Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
 
dang, Annie beat me to it. I learned all about Al-jabr in my Middle Eastern Studies class. Algebra triggered the Renassaince and all this other cool stuff.
 

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