quote:

---

When Nina woke up, sore from toting boxes and furniture, Brujo was sitting at the end of her mattress. She didn�t move�didn�t make a sound. Just watched him for a bit. He had the ghost in a mason jar and was whispering softly into the jar�s wide, open mouth. With every word, the ghost seemed to shiver. It was a pathetic thing after a night with Brujo. Not that it had ever been much. But now the edges of the ghost were blurring and fading, weeping off into nothingness. Brujo inserted a finger into the jar, touched the ghost, then lifted his finger to his lips.

---

Thanks so much!

[ July 05, 2004, 10:22 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
Sounds realistic to me. I played the coulda woulda shoulda game for years after my divorce. I love the way you put it.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Scott, almost all of it works for me, except this bit:

"She had never written Brujo erotic emails detailing all her fantasies and pleasures."

It doesn't ring true for the character, or the flow you've established. Perhaps "She had never incorporated Brujo into any of her fantasies or pleasures" works better? The character doesn't strike me, at least based on the excerpt, as the erotic E-mail type -- and, besides, it seems to me that the sending of erotic E-mail would at best be a symptom of a larger feeling.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
I don't like the word "Step" being capitalized each time. But I would have to go look up whether or not that is proper. I might be. It was just distracting to me. Didn't help the sentence flow.

FG
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Great stuff!!!

In fixing the "step" thing, maybe you could just put the numbers (and not the word "step") or you could just not number them at all and list them instead. And start the list as "eight little rules" or something.

It didn't bother me that much, though.

I assume the Spiderman underwear has some relevance to the rest of the story. If not, I would ditch it (um...well, I would mention that he's in his boxers, but not worry about what kind they are). It's too quirky a detail if there's no other reference to it.

As for the divorce stuff, to me, the more usual "conflicted emotion" monologue is about more than just self-doubt and self-recrimination. I would say, for instance, that it's a good thing to think about what Steve's rules should've been too. Or that all of 1-7 would've been easy if she'd cared to try. But that #8 was just not even possible.

In fact, that's how I would make it more "realistic." That the 1000's of things one might've done to save a marriage are overshadowed by the one thing that couldn't be done and the spouse never did understand.

But that's just my $.02, your results may vary.
 

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Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
 
Scott,

I really enjoyed that little excerpt. I think it let the reader know a lot about the characters in a short bit of text, and yet wanting to know more. I especially liked the sing-song comments. They did sort of reminded me of a "country-music" rundown of the "shoulda-coulda-woulda's" of someone going through a divorce. (At least it seems like it.) Can't wait to read more.

quote:

---

He just watched her, as she had had watched him.

---

quote:

---

She had never slept with Brujo. She had never taken Brujo out for drinks. She had never written Brujo erotic emails detailing all her fantasies and pleasures.

---

One doesn't have such thoughts about a young child, right?
 

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Posted by Rhaegar The Fool (Member # 5811) on :
 
Nice, but why are they eating a ghost again?
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
It never said he was eating the ghost. Said he was talking to it, lifted it out of the jar and to his lips. Never said ingesting. Maybe talking closer.

FG
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
I'm not entirely sure what Brujo is. Is he human? "Brujo" translates as "warlock", right?

I'm also not sure what he'd doing with the ghost, but whatever it is, it seems to be draining the ghost of vitality, right? And he does touch the ghost and then put his finger to his mouth, like he's taking a little taste of it.

By the way, I absolutely love the phrase "weeping off into nothingness".

I personally find this fragment fascinating, and really want to read the rest of the story. Scott, will we be getting the opportunity to?
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Now see, I thought the ghost was weeping into nothingness because it was becoming morning, instead of because of what Brujo was saying. Interesting how different people interpret different parts of the passage...

FG
(Scott R -- get back in here and give comments on what you're trying to portray here!)
 

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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
I speculated that Brujo was a human familiar. Unrelated, but still close, if she's a witch. I want to read the whole story after reading this exerpt
 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
Rereading it, I'm not sure Brujo is a human. He might be a djinni or something... a homunculus? I dunno.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
I figured Nina was the blackberry witch, and Brujo her homunculus.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Tom! I was thinking the same thing!!!

jinx!!!
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I don't like commenting on comments-- if any of you was watching this thread, you'd have noticed I deleted a post to Tom at the beginning that did just that.

If I comment on anything that's been said, that will taint the reader's reading for later. It's better to let the mystery remain.

But you all are helping me SOOOO much. I'm taking the advice of making the 'Step 1-8' more song like (loved the idea of a country song. . .); and it's nice to see that my ideas are understood.

Even if I'm not going to tell you WHICH ideas, everyone's input is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

[ January 16, 2004, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
You could make the steps rhyme with the numbers...

Step 1, have firm buns
Step 2, never be blue
Step 3, share freely
Step 4, open THAT door
Step 5, he's the funniest man alive
Step 6, keep the budget fixed
Step 7, be a wise old maven

Oh well... I like your steps & rhyme scheme better.

Never mind.

<Post not deleted because I wasted a lot of time on it>
 

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Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
 
All I can say is that I really want to read the rest of the story.
 

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Posted by Slash the Berzerker (Member # 556) on :
 
Man. I wish *I* was a homonculus. That'd be sweet.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Slash, if I ever have a homunculus, I hope he turns out just like you!
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Actually, what you see posted was the whole story at the time I posted it. Since Nina's emotional state will figure in greatly for the rest of the story, I figured I needed to make sure I had it at least plausible. . .
 

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Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
 
Gah. Stupid Scott and all his stupid Talent.

I have no useful criticisms, but I DO want to read this when it's done. By the way, Scott, do you have any other stories besides the ones set in Anthem's world? That you'd let me read?
 

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Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
 
For that matter, do you have any stories at all that you'll let me read?
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
:bump:
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
bump???

So, you looking for more feedback or more adoration?

ScottR
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Feedback, silly.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
This is NOT a pathetic-attention-grabbing bump.

Nina is going to try and get a job as a substitute teacher in an elementary school.

I looked on our county's website for information regarding the job, but couldn't find anything.

So. . .what do elementary school subs need to do their job? What skills? What are some questions an interviewer might ask?

Any advice you have on this would be most appreciated.
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Not sure if it's a standard thing, but in Florida almost anyone can sub. It's 50 bucks to get fingerprinted, you fill out an application, and you have to be a high school grad. Since we've had newspaper stories about convicted felons working in our school system, the fingerprinting seems to be a way to get 50 bucks out of people.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Scott, it depends a LOT on the state. It also matters, in many states, whether she's trying to be hired to teach in a public school or private school.

In some states, all teachers -- including private school and substitute teachers -- must have specific credentials. More commonly, there are differences in the requirements for public, private, and substitute teachers.

In CA, public school teachers must have a credential; private school teachers do not have this requirement. I'm pretty sure that substitute teachers for public schools do not need to have a full teaching credential, but I'm not sure what they are required to have (if anything).

The place to do research is probably not a government site (although state sites will have the info, not county ones, usually -- education laws are primarily set at the state level). Try an agency that hires and places substitutes (local to whatever state you are setting this in). Tell me a state, and I'll help you look.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Subbing is actually pretty easy to get into. Depending on your state, you need a background check, a high school diploma, maybe some college, maybe a special certificate (this is new in my state). Very little special training. You get more $ if you have a teacher's license.

If you need realistic sub stories, ping me @ Jengardener@aol.com.

I'd also be thrilled to read over those excerpts for believability.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
JG: I was hoping you'd respond-- I'd love to read over some sub stories. . .

Rivka-- thanks for the info. I'll take a look at the state website (VA).
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I've been reading up on how to make blackberry wine for this short story-- and wondered if any Jatraqueros had ever had any.

What does it taste like?

Smell like?

Look like?

I read somewhere that when it's finished being made, it's clear. how is that possible? I mean, it's made of blackberries. . .
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
I know nothing about blackberries but I have a question for you.

Is it Nee-na or Ny-na?

Just curious.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
NEE-na.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
I've seen Nya Nya...

As for fruit flavored wines, what you mostly taste is just the bearest hint of the fruit -- unless they add flavorings. Ultimately, the stuff tastes like wine, but sometimes sweeter or with a different "finish" to it than a grape-based wine.

It is true, I believe, that if you don't like the taste of the original fruit, you won't like the taste of the wine. There's a certain something about it that'll bug you. For example, the only people who like muscadine wines are those who also like muscadine grapes for eating -- seems to me.

Any fruit can be made into wine. You just allow it to ferment so that the sugars turn to alcohol. In the process a lot of the original flavor is transformed.

Having said all that, I have never tasted blackberry wine and so can't be any help to you at all.

Sorry.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
S'okay, Bobby.

Ooo. I called Bob, 'Bobby.'

And I did it JUST to bump this thread.

I'm wicked, I tell you, WICKED!
 

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Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
 
i'd just like to say that i was misled by this thread title -- though it was about "Blackberry Wine"...a novel by Joanne Harris...but it wasn't, i guess.

sad.


 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
One description.

Does "clear" mean colorless? Or transparent? I think the latter, having seen commercial berry wines that were transparent but colored.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Rivka-- thanks!

I did a google on blackberry wine images, and was suprised to find that it is more reddish than purple. Huh.

Good thing I looked.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
The problem with "clear" meaning two different things is one I'm familiar with from teaching (and taking) physics classes, so I wondered. Glad it was helpful.

The only blackberry wine I've ever had was Manishewitz's -- and like ALL their "traditional" wines, it's dark, thick, and syrupy. *shudder* I like sweet, but not THAT sweet. I have a feeling that it's very different than most homemade blackberry wine, though.

Not that I'm volunteering to make some and check.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I'm vain, I'm vain, I'm so vain. . .

I'm very excited by this story. I only got four hours of sleep last night because of it-- not because I was writing it, but because I couldn't stop thinking of it.

Whether it's crap or brilliant, I don't know. I know that I am really digging this groove I'm in. . .

[ July 05, 2004, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Stay with the groove, Scott. You've got me so far. Also, stop posting your story here. Send it out to be critted by e-mail. You want to keep this story so that it can be published elsewhere, for money.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Wow.



Have I mentioned that I find your writing incredibly powerful -- and very disturbing?

The only part that was unclear was: "On the third day, there were no seeds left in the tub. Nor berry flesh." It is clear later (I think) that there WAS still juice at that point -- but to me, the quoted part almost implied that the tub was empty.
 

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Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
 
Dude. This is turning out AWESOME.

*echoes riv word-for-word*
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Rivka-- how distubing is disturbing?
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Scott, that was fantastic.

I can't wait to read the rest. I am officially blown away.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
I'm really grooving on this one, Scott. The idea is original and powerful, and it's got a very dark edge that you're able to capture perfectly in tone. There are a few minor grammar errors in this latest segment that any editor'll catch, and I've got one question about some exposition: when you have Bruja reveal his nature, is that the first time it's explicitly stated?
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Tom-- yes, sorta kinda. There's a point in the story previous to this where Brujo does a little magic of his own.

I'm banking on the intended audience's familiarity with myth and folklore. For example, you picked up very well on the idea that Brujo was her homunculus. I hope that most readers (well, actually just the editor of whatever magazine I submit this to) will be able to do the same.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Rivka-- how disturbing is disturbing?

---

On a scale from 1-10; 1 being a slight blip, 10 being, I dunno, Barney ; this would be about a 6, I think.

My comfort zone is more like a 4 or lower, but I find your writing fascinating enough to be willing to go past my comfort zone. Yet still quite disturbed . . .
 

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Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
 
Scott, this is the first of your stuff that I have read and I am totally blown away. Is any of your other writing available? I want to read more. I especially want to read this story when it is finished.
 

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Posted by knightswhosayni! (Member # 4096) on :
 
Scott, I have been SO impressed with all the writing I've seen from you, including what you're doing with Mission. Anytime you need fangirl squealing,or to just test something out, send it to me, and I will do so with much enthusiasm.

Ni!
 

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Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
 
Scott:

It's good. Very good.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 

 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
The thing that bugged me about it, is why leave her underwear on? I guess if they are putting blood in it, sterility doesn't matter too much, so showering beforehand isn't a requirement, but that was my first thought before the blood got involved.

AJ
(Awesome writing though!)

[ February 26, 2004, 04:17 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I hate my life this morning.

I wrote five pages more yesterday morning at work, saved them, sent them to my yahoo account-- and realized I'd sent an older version of the story.

I come into work this morning to find that the file is gone, gone gone. . . Not in my TEMP folder, not saved as ~ anything. . . just flat out gone.



I regularly send the stuff I work on to my email-- and I SWEAR I saved it multiple times. Of course, now that I think about it, I don't remember specifying WHERE to save it, but normally email attachments default to being saved in the Local Settings/TEMP folder. It just isn't there. According to MS, the only files I even looked at yesterday were a couple of banners on websites.

Auggh!

Maybe this is a sign. . .

[ February 27, 2004, 06:26 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Don't believe it. Keep writing.

One word after the other.

(More, Scott, more! )
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Not a sign I should stop, but a sign I should change the way the story was headed.

Oh, but FIVE PAGES! To a lazy bum like me, that's. . . like a whole freakin' novel.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Scott, it happens to everybody. I learned the hard way to save my work on disk, hard drive, AND to send it to someone in e-mail.

And your writing is beautiful. I feel I know your writing style well from our days in the 1830's forum. You wrote wonderfully then, but I hope you will be pleased when I say that your writing is getting richer and more powerful now.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Finished it at home this morning.

It's much longer than I anticipated-- 61 pages.

I'm not sure that I can sell it at this length. We'll see.

In the meantime, I could use some cold, hard hearted critiquers to tell me what's believable, what's unclear, and what is just plain stupid.

Email me at jbeekeeper *at* yahoo.com, or post here.

Thanks!
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 
I'm not particularly cold-hearted, but I'd love to read what you've written (you can email it to the addy in my profile).
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Scott, I'd love to read it. Send me a copy at noemon1@yahoo.com.
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
Ooo, ooo, pick me, pick me!

dkw275@hotmail.com
 

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Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
my addy is in my profile
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Dkw, that was an exact quote of my first response to Scott (minus your email address, that is)!
 

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Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
 
I'm not very cold hearted either, but I would love to read this. My email is in my profile.

Thanks
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
Please please?
send to bannaoj@yahoo.com

My references: Pre-reading Crystal City, and catching a plot flaw that neither Moose nor Hobbes even noticed. (And yes I will gloat about that til the day I die <grin>)

AJ
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Please send it to me too!!!

bscopatz@data-nexus.com
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Oooh, oooh. Me too!

I don't know if I can give you a hardcore critique, but I've loved reading it so far. Please let me read it all.

zgator@hotmail.com
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
It's been sent out to everyone who's requested it so far. . .

A word of warning to future Wise Readers ( - not a pathetic grab for attention )-- the file is 170k+. If you keep your hotmail account full, let me know, and I'll zip it up before sending it out.

[ March 05, 2004, 11:57 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Scott, please please pretty please can I see it? I'm slow at sending back critiques, but if you nag me once a week, you'll get one back within a month. If you nag me daily, you'll probably get it within a week.

Email in the profile.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
Sent you my comments by e-mail. Your visual imagery is wonderful. I'm just left at the end wondering what it all meant. But I'm a logical engineer and want things tied up in tidy packages too.

AJ
 

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Posted by knightswhosayni! (Member # 4096) on :
 
::fangurl squealing::

Me me me!

You've got my email, I think. It's in the profile, anyway.

Ni!
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
What Jenny said, only double the time-frames.

Zipped would be good; but I think my box is empty enough to handle it unzipped.
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Just let me know which magazine buys it so I can go buy a copy. And then bug all my friends to buy their own copies.


I love your writing, Scott. I've gone back to reread the bit you posted several times because I found it stuck in my head. Images kept tickling my brain as I tried to sleep. If the editor doesn't buy it the first time, give him a week or two to think about it, then send it to him again. This story lingers.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
I'm enjoying it immensely Scott.

p.18 so far. I'll get back to you!!!

GREAT stuff...
 

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Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
 
How did I miss this, I'll never know. Scott, would you please send me a copy. My e-mail address is in my profile. Can't wait.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
The second round of the MS has been sent out. . .

Again, thanks to everyone who wants to read this drivel . . .
 

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Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
 
Now that I've read the whole thing: It's still very good. It's not perfect. But it's very good.

EDIT: This is not to say that I won't approach it with the coldest of hearts when I write my critique later this week.

[ March 08, 2004, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Zalmoxis ]
 

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Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
 
Hey Scott! Is it too late to see a copy? I'd love to read it as well. (Love what I've read so far.)
 

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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
Scott, I want to read it, please.
 

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Posted by knightswhosayni! (Member # 4096) on :
 
wow.

The editor that turns this thing down is an idiot.

Ni!
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
mid-week bump
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
If you don't hate me after what I said the first time could you send me the second round? I'm interested in seeing how it has evolved. BannaOj@yahoo.com

AJ
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Scott, things have been pretty hectic at work for the last week and a half or so, so I haven't had time to sit down and read the story yet. Sorry about that. I'm very much looking forward to it, though, and will hopefully come up with a lot of useful feedback for you.
 

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Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
 
Scott I would love to read it and take my best shot at being helpful. I also work with a wonderful writing teacher who absolutely loves Fantasy who I'm sure would like to read it as well. Her and I are constantly loaning each other books and discussing them.

jinglis@limacityschools.org
 

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Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
 
beatnix,

Is that your email address? jinglis is my brothers nickname (pronounced jingles, as our last name is inglis and rhymes with jingles). It's weird to see something like that here. Is it based on your name?
 

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Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
 
Oh yeah, I should say something relating to the thread. I just finished reading the story and must say that I really enjoyed it. It seems like the kind of thing that I could get something more from it each time I read it. I noticed one editorial/proofreading thing that I thought I would point out:

These quotes come from when they stop at the convenience store.

"Tom rang up the two sandwiches and the soda."

and a paragraph or two later it says:

"Tom rang up their sandwiches and soda, and put a candy bar on top of it all."

This read kind of awkwardly to me.
 

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Posted by knightswhosayni! (Member # 4096) on :
 
Hrm. I noticed a couple things, but I don't remember what they were. Will reread and get back to you, Scott.

Ni!
 

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Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
 
*raises hand* I'd love to read the story and offer whatever comments I can, if it's not too late, Scott. I'm at everpoe@hotmail.com
 

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Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
 
jinglis = Josh Inglis

so, yea I guess it is losely based on my name.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Finished the revision that will probably be the final draft to send out to F&SF.

The revised version is shorter by three pages. Some changes:

Took out much (as in, almost all) of the roadtrip;
Steve and Nina and Asher actually live together for a while;
Shortened the section with Lilith.

As always, drop me an email, or post here if you want to review/read/critique this.

[ July 05, 2004, 10:27 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Here we go-- sent it out to F&SF this afternoon.
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Good luck!
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
It took F&SF less than two days to stamp a rejection notice on Blackberry Witch.

Check it out: I sent it via regular mail on the 26th; the letter of non-interest was sent to me on the 29th. So it gets there on the 27th, he reads it on the 28th, and sends it back on the 29th.

:shakes head:

What exactly does it mean when the Editorial Assistant says, 'This tale didn't grab my interest?'

Oh, quit with your translations. I know what it means-- John Joseph Adams only looks at the first couple paragraphs, and then if it hasn't made him have an epileptic fit, he tosses it.

Grr. Look, I understand the harsh realities of magazine publishing-- the stacks and hordes and mountains of submissions, the long hours, the thankless task of reviewing drivel. . .

But how the heck does one get something PUBLISHED??

Errgh! RAAAH! ErrRAAH!

Advice welcome-- be warned, if you say, 'Keep trying!' and don't say anything else, I may have to eviscerate you and make chitlins out of your guts. While you yet breathe.

Mmm. Chitlins.

When does phobos start again?

[ May 03, 2004, 08:40 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
 
Oh, Scott, I really am sorry.

From the bits I've read here, it's an amazing story and truly deserves to be published (and one I'd still like to read all of!).

I wish I could offer you more advice beyond to keep trying. It really is an amazing work that grabs and engages the reader almost instantly and, from the others' responses, I would assume that it maintains that level of interest throughout the work. Please keep trying on this one, and please continue writing other pieces as well. That's the first piece I've read in years that just grabbed me at the offset and then totally blown me away even in the beginning.

[ May 03, 2004, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: Pixie ]
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Scott, I have absolutely no idea -- you don't see me sending my precious story-children off to be rejected, do you? I can't imagine how rough that must be. I so respect you, and others, who take that leap of faith, again and again.

Somewhere out there IS the editor who will publish your story. May you find him/her soon!
 

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Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
 
...You know, I know someone who's been thinking about starting a literary magazine for some time now and is mostly just looking for contributions at the moment. I don't really know for sure, but I could look into it for you and see if they really are or will be ready to go into production soon? If they are, would this be something you'd be interested in?
 

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Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
 
I'm no comfort either, Scott. I have no idea how to get anything published, since I have no idea how to get anything FINISHED.

Your writing is lovely, though, and some editor's GOT to see that. Don't they?

Ni!
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I take back the chitlin comment.

Blackberry Witch is too long for Strange Horizons. . . I'm not sure if it's the right tenor for Asimov's (and they take 3 months to respond, so I'd like to try quicker markets first). . . and who knows about Phobos?

What other mags are looking for speculative fiction?
 

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Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
Maybe I should send them 15 pages of --|--'s. I'm not trying to get anything published, so no cost to me (besides a little postage). Would that make you feel any better? Even though they'd only look at the first couple paragraphs of birds?
 

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Posted by Alexa (Member # 6285) on :
 

quote:

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the truth was that Steve asking her to get rid of Brujo would be like asking her to get rid of an arm. No. . . more like getting rid of her ovaries, because Brujo was that much a part of her.

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I found that sentence awkward. Are ovaries more a part of someone then an arm? Maybe identity-wise, but it still read awkward to me.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I'm a critique whore.

The finished version is 58 pages of torture and black magic.

At the very least, that should interest Ralphie.



[ July 05, 2004, 10:28 AM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
 

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Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
 
It interests me, too, as I'd still like to read the entire text.

If it's possible, could you e-mail me a copy of the story at Essenceflames101@aol.com? I've loved every bit I've seen, but I somehow missed this thread back at the beginning and, thus, missed the time for yelling "Me too! I want one too!".
 

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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
Scott, if you email it to me, I'll have time in the next couple of days to read it. And I'd really like to read it. I'd like to see how the story had changed since I gave it my last read through a few months ago.
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 
I'd also like to see the changes you've made!
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Me too!
 

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Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
 
*repeats Pixie's last post*
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
You want Scott to send you a copy via Pixie's eddress?
 

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Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
 
*grumbles*

everpoe@hotmail.com

Fie on rivka.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Ludosti-- your email is hidden; send me an email at the addy in my profile, and I'll get it to you too.

THANKS!
 

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Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
 
I'd love to read this story as well. E-mail is junkaccount@sbcglobal.net. BTW, My very first attempt with fermentation of any sort was Blackberry Wine with berries picked in my back yard.
 

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Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
 
will you be resending to all of us? or just us who repost requests?

celia60@hotmail.com
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Just those that post requests. No sense cluttering people's inboxes with unsolicited email. . . unless you're offering to pay me?
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Well, if it's not too late to get a copy, I'd LOVE to read the whole thing. How on earth does sweet little Nina end up kidnapping somebody? You've gone way past intrigued here, Scott.

cneuman81@yahoo.com

I still say the editor wouldn't know good writing if it jumped up and bit him.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
I think by the end of 'Blackberry Witch,' you will no longer be able to fit the words 'sweet' and 'Nina' in the same sentence.
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
I'd like to see the finished copy!

noemon1 at yahoo.com
 

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Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
 
Scott:

If you're up for another round...
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
With you?

Set 'em up, barkeep.
 

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