So this Saturday, on our 3rd anniversary of dating, my wonderful boyfriend proposed, and I said yes. Well, technically, I said "of course!". :-)
I'm now officially a fiance! We're thinking the wedding will be Juneish in Ithaca, and probably on a shoestring budget.
He gave me not one, but four rings (!) from his family, which they all want me to take and have made into my ideal ring.
I feel like the luckiest girl on Earth. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Congrats!
*goes off to test Hatrack's water supply*
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
You spelled "finance" wrong.
Congratulations! That's wonderful!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Congratulations!
*passes out party hats*
I'm so excited for you Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Lol, yeah, he'll be needing a finance more than a fiance when I'm done with this ring!
j/k... I'm just so glad I don't have to feel guilty about spending a bunch of money on a rock for my finger. This is the best possible situation!
So, does anyone have tips on an inexpensive wedding with lots of friends and family?
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Congratulations! That's awesome!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Aylear, that's great! Congratulations!
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Congrads!
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
Congratulations
I'm not sure if such a thing exists - "an inexpensive wedding with lots of family and friends" I'm trying to throw an inexpensive anniversary party with lots of family and friends and am discovering it won't be inexpensive.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Congratz!!!
Be prepared for the next question you will be hit with, even before the wedding cake is cut,....
So when are you having kids?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Christy and I actually threw an inexpensive wedding with lots of family and friends. The trick was to have the wedding and reception at the same (free) location, not go ga-ga over expensive "perks," and ask family to help with things like food service.
Posted by MaureenJanay (Member # 2935) on :
quote: So, does anyone have tips on an inexpensive wedding with lots of friends and family?
That's it. Make all your family and friends do all the work.
I made my dress and they did all the food themselves. The only thing we really paid for was flowers and tux rental. (There were "tips" given to the coordinator and audio kid, but they were just doing their jobs...their services we technically free because we were church members.
Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
Congratulations! Feels great doesn't it? Knowing the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Tis a wonderous feeling. I'd do a cartwheel except with my luck I'd hit a window and fall 4 stories. Satyagraha
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
Congrats
When helping my bro plan his wedding these are the things I found out to make it cheaper...
Do your own flowers. Whole sale. Silk flowers are cheaper as well. And last.
If you have an outdoor wedding, it cuts back on decorating costs.
E-Bay is your friend.
Alcohol is obviously expensive. Consider a dry wedding or perhaps only provide a bottle of wine on each table for toasting- you can always have a bar where they pay.
For pictures, use a student. Go to a local university and ask the profs. They will either know a terrific student and for cheap. Students are usually more open to suggestions, wanting more experience, etc.
Afternoon weddings are a lot cheaper. Non weekend weddings are a lot cheaper.
Cater it yourself it at possible. Cold foods are very easy to do. Or cater part of it yourself. By yourself I mean anybody who will do it for free (an aunt, a grandmother, a brother, whomever etc.)
Some say you shouldn't tell the place you're hosting it at that it's a wedding. Soon as you mention wedding it raises the cost. I have no idea if that's true =P
If you're having a church wedding, always use your "home" church- it's usually free there.
Don't put too many people in your bridal party (if you have one at all).
You can make your own invitations easily. Same with your programs, etc.
Online stores are usually a lot cheaper- my brother's exfiance (is that the right term? They called off the wedding *shrugs*) used Bridesave.com a lot with good results.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
As a former florist, I beg of you: please don't buy silk flowers. Please. Especially not the ones with dots of hot glue to look like water droplets.
And the way to save money on flowers is to use fancy, showy flowers like lilies that are beautiful but can be used alone. A bridal bouquet with 1 or 2 stargazer lilies and an artsy arrangment of beargrass and queen anne's lace is far more striking than a big wad of roses all crammed together in a cushion style and about 1/4 the cost. If you want flower volume, go with daisies. And rose petals, though charming, are way more expensive than they're worth. If you must do petals, by all means buy some bulk, over-ripe roses at Costco (this is the only situation in which I'll advocate buying flowers at Costco) and petal them yourself. Your florist will have to buy long stemmed roses and then pay someone to petal them.
You can make a really nice garland for a lot cheaper than you can buy it with a couple boxes of loose salal (lemonleaf) and some paddle wire. I can email instructions on how to make this if you like. Very easy. I probably made over 1000 feet of the stuff this summer.
And depending on when the wedding is, outdoor planters can be a lovely substitution for arrangments for either an outdoor wedding or reception. Plant up some nice annual planters with trailing foliage and bright colors a few months early, and you can find neat wire stands for cheap at an import market. These also make nice presents for people who help out with the wedding.
And remmeber, classy understatements are always a lot prettier than lavish overstatements. Keep it minimal for a high-class, stylish look. Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Oh boy, you guys have some great ideas!! I'll be picking your brains once I figure out where this thing is going to be!
Flowers? Can't I just go snag some out in a field or something?
<-- knows nothing about flowers. Posted by Lime (Member # 1707) on :
The awesome! Congradulations, Ayelar! I wish the two of you the absolute best.
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
Congratulations! Man. People are right, there's marriage along with fluoride in the Hatrack water supply!
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
CONGRATULATIONS, AYELAR!!!!
That's so wonderful!!!
Posted by Pixie (Member # 4043) on :
Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you both. Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Mazel tov! Just don't have it at the gorge.
Also, you might want to reconsider June. June is a peak wedding month and prices for everything will be higher. We inadvertantly saved a lot of money when we had to reschedule our wedding from October (peak) to November (off-peak).
I also second the eBay suggestion and please, please do not use silk flowers. Wild flowers are lovely.
One thing about your rings. Be very, very careful when you have them made. DO NOT ever let them out of your sight. Many jewelers will switch the stones - they can do it in an instant and there's nothing you can do. Insist on being there when the work is done. An honest jeweler shouldn't have any problem with it. If anyone refuses to let you watch, walk out of the store then and there. Have them appraised before you have any work done on them. You will need the appraisal anyway for the insurance. That is pretty easy - you can just add a rider to your renters' or homeowners' insurance.
Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
Congratulations! Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Congratulations!!! Getting married is such an exciting and fun thing!!
Everyone so far has had really great suggestions for reducing the cost. For my wedding, cost was really low (although it was a quite small and simple wedding). An aunt made my dress for me (so it cost less than $100 - for the fabric). A friend did our pictures (so they were inexpensive and we got to keep the negatives for no extra charge). We made our own invitations. We had no wedding party. See if you can have the ceremony at someone's home (that doesn't cost you anything ). Go with simple refreshments and decorations (if it's outside, you may not even need any). Seek out the talents and help of your friends and family members - photography, decorations, sewing, music, refreshments, cake decorating, flower arranging, anything and everything!
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Thanks, Mrs. M!
We are hoping to have it outside (actually, I think we have to, since neither one of us is very religious), and Ithaca weather is unfortunately very violent in October and November. Even June is worrisome... I'd be happy with any pleasant-weather month, but my best friend from high school is leaving for grad school in July, and I'd like to do it before she goes. We'll see.
I hadn't even thought about that with the rings! I'd like to see the diamond set anyhow... is that a quick process, or would it be a headache for the goldsmith to have me there?
Posted by prolixshore (Member # 4496) on :
COngrats Ayelar!
--ApostleRadio
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Congrats ! That's wonderful !
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Putting a stone into a setting is very simple. They basically just pop it in there and fasten the prongs. Sizing is also relatively simple. It shouldn't take long at all. I assume that you are combining the setting of one ring with the stone of another? I had to get the prongs of my ring built up and my mother and I squeezed into the workshop and hawkeyed the jeweler the entire time. This is the only situation where my mother not only allowed me to be ungracious, but encouraged it.
Try to pick a venue where they already have some kind of shelter already there, in case of inclement weather - tents can get very expensive. Also, don't worry about the weather. My wedding was outdoors in November and it was freezing and windy and beautiful. It's good luck if it rains on your wedding day.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Woo hoo!! Congratulations Ayelar! I'm very, very happy for you both! Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
!!!Congratulations!!! Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
*laughs* I too fully agree with the silk thing being bad for the most part. But in defense to silk flowers, my cousin had some beautiful ones for her wedding this weekend. People kept touching them to see if they were "really" fake.
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
Congrats! Apparently, Hatrack has it's seasons mixed up, we've all got spring fever.
Feels great though, huh? You've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Good luck with your low-budget wedding, too. They're right, get your friends and family to be in it. My aunt had a low-budget wedding, and I played the piano for her. of course, I also messed up on the wedding march... you know... when the bride marches down the aisle...
Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
'Grats, ALR.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I haven't said Congrats yet, but I hope you're feeling the love! That's an awesome thing and I'm so glad you told us about it!!! I've also decided that I'm coming HERE to plan my wedding and flying Annie out with all of her flower instructions so she can deck the place out inexpensively. Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Yay! Congrats! Posted by ana kata (Member # 5666) on :
That's wonderful, Ayelar! Best wishes to both of you! I'm so happy for you! Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
Yay! Congratulations! That's so cool! (((((Ayelar)))))
~Jane~
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Congratulations and best wishes!
But I just have to say . . .
quote:We are hoping to have it outside (actually, I think we have to, since neither one of us is very religious)
. . . there are buildings other than churches, you know. Posted by Ryan Hart (Member # 5513) on :
Congrats. I'm so glad to hear that.
And yes that is the most smilies I have ever used in one post. Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
Because my family owns a flower farm, I also agree in do not get silk flowers, if possible support your local florist or even flower farm www.ascfg.org you can find very high quality flower farms and really nice people, and if they don't have flowers they'll help you find some. Good luck! Satyagraha
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Congratulations! How exciting - best wishes to you both.
Of course weddings can be inexpensive. Mine was approximately $500.00 (included the weekend honeymoon in hometown)with over 200 people in attendance.
You've read many of the suggestions - all excellent!
Invitations: Home designed and printed for cost of ink and parchment paper $50.00
We did the deed at my sister-in-law's house which was roomy and gorgeuos, albeit standing room only for the ceremony, but plenty of covered porch and yard for the reception. Price: help pre-cleaning and moving furniture.
Family pastor - $50.00.
Bride's Outfit - $20.00 plus loving auntie alterations.
Groom's Outfit - he already owned it.
Rings - family donated, with great love. $100.00 for sizing.
Pictures - one family professional, otherwise, lots of disposables in various locations for anyone to use. $30.00 print fees. Other pics - Gift to us from family professional.
Food - Potluck Extravaganza. No cost to bride/groom.
Flowers - the most expensive part of the bargain, even for simple (lillies and baby's breath for the bride, beautiful green ferns for the "altar area" plus one stand-up bouquest, and corsages for groom, mom and mom-in-law and best man/maid of honor) - Definitely pick your own! $170.00.
The remainder went to the motel, and "gourmet" dinner/night out.
Good luck to you!
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
A friend of mine wants me to do the photography for her wedding and have it entirely digital. That's always a great option that saves mucho on film & printing costs.
Plus, then you can photoshop various celebrities in as the bridesmaids.
Posted by Vána (Member # 3262) on :
Congratulations!! Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
You guys are wonderful! Thanks so much for the great ideas! You've given me a lot to think about.
Maybe Jatraqueros are all Australians at heart, to be experiencing spring fever in October... Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Yay, Ayelar!
Congratulations. He is very lucky. Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Congratulations, Ayelar.
We saved a ton of money by 1) Having Dan buy a really nice suit he could re-wear later instead of renting a tux, and 2) Me buying a simple dress I could also re-wear, instead of slapping down a grand on a something impossible for any other occasion.
We also did a pot-luck instead of catering and used mostly greenery instead of expensive flowers. It looked foresty and classy and was WAY cheaper.
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
Oh... I'd love to do a pot luck, really... but so many of our guests will be flying here from far away, it doesn't seem fair... Plus, I'd still have to rent the tables and chairs and linens and flatware and glassware and and and....! This is crazy, this wedding thing! I think I'll just go back to enjoying being engaged and calling Mark "my fiance". Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
Sorry to go off topic, but
quote: Plus, then you can photoshop various celebrities in as the bridesmaids.
do I see a phuture photoshop phriday topic? Congratulations!
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
bump for Banna....
Also, a friend of ours offered to do our catering! He's got years of experience, and we went to his wedding last year. So I'm feeling good about being able to serve an inexpensive but fun dinner, which means we can invite more than a bare minimum of people...
And I think I may have found the park to hold it in! There's a pavillion with electricity and permanent bathrooms, they'll let us serve alcohol and stay till 9pm, there are already tables inside, and it's right next to a stunning gorge/waterfall hiking trail! Wooo, photos! And it's just $90 to rent the place for the whole day!
I'm really excited that this is all falling into place. Budget wedding, here we come! Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
<grumble> see what I miss by having my tonsils out?
Congrats Ayelar!!!
AJ
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
You were talking about "flatware" and I would reccommend unles you have some sort of moral/environmental objection to go with paper plates and plastic utensils. You are going to be in a picnicy atmosphere anyway.
Sam's club (or Costco depending on which you have there) is your friend. Also Sam's club (and/or Costco) does party trays and bulk meal/snack type things that taste good. I don't know how many people you are having arrive.
Though since your friend is catering it may be more up to him. Ask him if it will cost more for metal or plastic forks and spoons.
AJ
Posted by Ayelar (Member # 183) on :
I'm not totally opposed to the paper/plastic dinnerware idea.... but since it's so far away and we don't have a concrete budget set yet, I'm indulging my desire to have it just a smidge more elegant than a backyard bbq. (If it ends up being a backyard bbq, though, that'll be fun too. )
The friend, Kevin, doesn't work for the catering company anymore. So, while he has the skills and the industrial kitchen and a group of friends he can recruit for staff, he doesn't have the serving equipment. I could rent the plates and glasses and whatnot... but for 80 people, that's upwards of $400.
Now, a cursory search at our Sam's Club, Big Lots, and on eBay tells me that I can flat-out buy ceramic plates, metal silverware, and glass glasses for more like $300. I could do fun things like have a different style of dinnerplate at each table. And there's the possibility that a local restaurant or someone on eBay might actually buy the stuff off of me, meaning the net price would be less than $300.
So... it's fun to think about. I don't know if I'll have that much to spend on the place settings and serving equipment, but it's looking like we're going to save a lot in other areas, so who knows.
Next stop: flowers! Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
I didn't want to start a whole new thread for this, but I did want to share that I found my wedding dress on Saturday!!! It's pretty darn exciting, especially considering I managed to wait until 4 weeks before the wedding to start shopping... (wedding mavens would kill me, I know....)
But yeah. I love my dress, and I love the man I'm marrying, and I'm so darn happy and excited that I can't stop telling everyone about it! Posted by Jutsa Notha Name (Member # 4485) on :
Is anyone not getting married around here?
<--not getting married
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
You know what, I really like the horizontal lines at the top. I should have had some of those on my dress...then I could have pretended to have boobs.
It looks awesome, and you look very attractive in it. I can't wait until I can see a picture with a groom in it. Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well Justa, that sounded like you just answered your own question, congratulations! And what do we have for our lucky winner today?
-Ken, we have a luxurious spa get-away for two. The Mantle-Beach Spa is set in the picturesque Appalachian mountains, and provides relaxation for anyone. If you want to recuperate for a week, or if you just need a massage after work, think of Mantle-Beach Spa.
That's great, well congratulations once again Justa, and we all hope you enjoy your stay.
Wow I'm think I'm funny.
Hobbes
[ July 14, 2004, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I think you're funny too! Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
You and your dress are simply lovely. Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Wooo hoo, congrats! (belatedly)
Best of luck and try not to make us wait for a full year on the wedding photos.
-Trevor
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
Thanks, guys.
I imagine I'll be itching to get those photos, seeing as how I'll probably miss half the day, but sadly, it's out of my hands... the photographer doesn't do digital. Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
Woo Hoo! Congratulations!
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Congrats on finding such a nice dress!!
It's not _that_ hard to get wedding pics up online quickly after the wedding (even if your photographer doesn't do digital). I think I had ours up within a month after getting them from the photographer (the one in the Hatrack album was put up within 3 months of our wedding)....
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
Gorgeous dress! It looks wonderful on you. Hope the rest of the arrangements turn out that well. Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Nice dress...scared me for a moment though. I though I had a naked picture of ya when it stopped rendering for a moment just a third of the way down.
Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
You look wonderful.
Course, I did wonder if you had wooden legs...
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
That's not her, that's an incredibly realistic looking dressmaker's dummy! Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Soon, we'll have all of Hatrack married off and my work here will be done.
Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
Aunt Kristine's bene gesseret breeding program, you mean. She's trying for the jatraquera qwizatch haderach.
[ July 14, 2004, 08:18 PM: Message edited by: ak ]
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of course, I also messed up on the wedding march... you know... when the bride marches down the aisle...
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