Hatrack River Forum: Someone tell me what I need to hear.

This is topic Someone tell me what I need to hear. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

I need you all to tell me, repeatedly, that sometimes it’s more important that young people do things themselves then that the things get done perfectly.

The middle school youth fellowship painted the new youth room last Sunday. They had a good time, which is important. They are proud of their new room, which is important. One of the parents and I sneaked in today and touched up some of the worst spots (like where someone apparently thought the purpose of taping was to hold the window frame to the wall and overlapped the area that should have been painted by about an inch and a half [Roll Eyes]

), which is less important, but made me feel better. Citra-solve will probably deal with the places that they managed to get paint on the baseboards, ceiling, cabinets, floor, and window frames, in spite of the extra-wide masking tape and plastic dropcloths. That is very important. (It’s especially important that this happens before the church custodian sees it. [Wink]

)

But someone needs to remind me again about the importance of the youth feeling “ownership” in their space, and all that stuff. ‘Cause right now, I really need to hear that.

Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :

dkw, it is VERY important that young people feel a sense of "ownership" in a space so that they can respect it and call it their own.

(There, how was that?)

Seriously, I'm proud of you for retaining your cool and allowing the kids to do that. They'll remember it forever.

Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :

Oh.

People, stop giving me these misleading titles. And here I was all set to reassure dkw that she is my Big Daddy.

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Hmmm. My daddy would have beat me for being so careless and then sent mr back to re-do the job correctly and with more care. That would have encouraged a sense of ownership. [Eek!]

Seriously - I think it's great for kids to have hands-on growing experiences, but I think you do them no favors by fixing up/cleaning up behind them. With ownership comes responsibility. What have they learned? It's okay to goof off and do a sloppy job because the adults are going to fix it all up anyway.

I admire your patience!

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

A painting job done with love is a wonderful thing. It's beauty outshines any drips, splatters or missed spots.

You are not only allowing them to make the room theirs -- making them more likely to look forward to spending time there, because it's THEIR room -- but also teaching them to believe in themselves. Too many of us have a little voice in our heads convincing us that if we can't do it perfectly, we ought not do it at all.

(((((dkw)))))

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

[Big Grin]

I did make them re-do everything I caught before they had to go home.

Thanks everybody. Youth work is not my calling, but it's part of my job. I love the little critters, but sometimes they just wear me out. I guess it's good for me though -- reminds me why I have so much respect for teachers and full time youth workers.

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

[Hail]

As I said, your patience with them utterly amazes me!

[Smile]

Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :

It's very important that the kids have pride of ownership of their room, but as Shan said, with ownership comes responsibility. Paint that is allowed to dry on wood surfaces is hard to get off without harming the wood's finish. They don't have to do it perfectly, but they should do it well.

You handled the situation in exactly the right way, which is no less than I would expect.

I have to admit - the thought of all that paint over all of those surfaces is making me a little nervous. Stupid OCD.

Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :

quote:
[S]ometimes it’s more important that young people do things themselves then that the things get done perfectly.

True dat.

quote:
I'm proud of you for retaining your cool and allowing the kids to do that.

Me, too.

quote:
You handled the situation in exactly the right way, which is no less than I would expect.

Yup.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Hmm...

I think you handled it very well.

I wonder, however, did ALL the kids think they did a good job? Or good enough?

The question would seem to me to be whether or not there is another lesson to be learned here, and whether that lesson is as important as the sense of ownership?

For example, a job done well the first time is less time consuming than fixing mistakes in a poorly done job. Taking the time to work on it the right way will save in the long run. Surely our personal growth is the same way? I find myself going back and fixing various shortcuts I've taken in my own life. Am I the only one?

Oh well...

I'm not critiquing your handling of it all, Dana. Far from it. My calling doesn't lie in that direction (critiquing people OR dealing with kids).

But maybe some of the kids would be interested in learning to do the job better???

Would they get more out of it?

Glad you made it through and didn't just blow up. That would certainly have been the wrong thing. For sure.