I feel I deserve one. After all, everyone told me that college would be a revolutionary life-altering experience. All my morals would change and I would never be able to look at the world the same again. I was going to “define myself” apart from my family, and make new friends.
Do I need to get high before this happens? Is getting utterly wasted and throwing up necessary? Do I have to have sex with one or more girls first? Is that what my roommate really doing, having life-enriching experiences that I’m missing out on sitting here doing homework and playing games?
Hobbes Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Just wait. You've got a few years yet. Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
Good questions. I've been wondering the same myself lately. Maybe they mean the whole 4+ years of college all together? Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
>> After all, everyone told me that college would be a revolutionary life-altering experience. <<
You've been there for what, a month? Give it four more years. Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
maybe it's just the fact of living away from home that's supposed to be life altering. My life has altered-I can now get along just fine with my little sister. Because I no longer live with her. *laughs at Jenny who still does*
[ September 28, 2003, 04:04 PM: Message edited by: Toretha ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Not all "life-altering" experiences grab you by your shirt collar and smack you around. Some of them are slow and steady, and are realized in retrospect.
To echo mack and Twink - chill for a bit. It'll happen.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I know I've been here a pretty short time, but I haven't had any change at all. Or rather, I'm changing as much (or less) now as I was in the months previous to college. What is it that is supposed to leave me a different person?
Hobbes Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
You can not even begin to fathom how much you will change between eighteen and twenty-two years old, and when I think how much I've learned just between twenty and twenty-five, I'm completely blown away.
Give it some time, Hobbes. Even if someone could magically tell you exactly what you will be learning about yourself in the next four years, you would neither understand nor be able to digest the information yet anyway.
Patience, young grasshopper.
edit:
quote:What is it that is supposed to leave me a different person?
You are being segued into the adult world. The adult world, by definition, will force you to be an adult. You're starting out on the road of sink or swim, like all other adult people, and your adolescent safety nets will, one by one, be removed from you. You will learn how you react when this happens, and you will learn what you are capable of dealing with and what you are not at this time.
You will learn limitations, and be happy to discover skills you didn't realize you had. You will be a Big Person finally, and will simultaneously love and hate the things that got you there.
[ September 28, 2003, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
OK, I guess mostly this is just a super time-delayed reaction to my sister's friend who told me that once I got to college I'd start drinking and at least try smoking pot as well as particpating in "one-night stands" because that's just what happens when you get to college.
I'm still curious though, what exactly is it that's supposed to change me (not in me, what is the event or condition)?
Hobbes Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
eh, who cares about "life-altering experiences." they're overrated. sleep, now, that would be a nice thing to have.
i've also been at college for about a month now and haven't changed any. everyone told me that going to college would be like starting over and that it would be so different. so, i'm here, and it's not that different.
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
*laughs* Hobbes, at my old job, the cooks told me that at least three days a week. People are just silly, sometimes
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
You know, at eighteen I didn't think there was much left for me to learn about myself, either.
Looking back, I barely recognize that person now.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
>> I'm still curious though, what exactly is it that's supposed to change me (not in me, what is the event or condition)? <<
Dude. Chill out. If you sit around saying "where's my life-altering experience? My life isn't being altered! I demand a refund! Where's my life-altering experience? Where is it? I don't see it coming, and it hasn't happened yet..." then you'll miss the point. The idea is that after a few years of it you look back and realize that things have changed. You don't notice it while it's happening.
What you ought to notice, though, is the awesome fun good stuff that is also a part of the university experience. That can also take some time to get rolling, but you'll definitely notice it. Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
quote:You know, at eighteen I didn't think there was much left for me to learn about myself, either.
I think that there's a lot to learn about myself, I just haven't been learning any of it doing anything I wouldn't have/couldin't have done back home.
quote:Dude. Chill out. If you sit around saying "where's my life-altering experience? My life isn't being altered! I demand a refund! Where's my life-altering experience? Where is it? I don't see it coming, and it hasn't happened yet..." then you'll miss the point.
I know. I'm not spending all my time waiting for something to change my life, I'm just thinking about what has happened here vs. what everyone has told me will happen.
quote:What you ought to notice, though, is the awesome fun good stuff that is also a part of the university experience. That can also take some time to get rolling, but you'll definitely notice it.
I hope so.
quote:The idea is that after a few years of it you look back and realize that things have changed. You don't notice it while it's happening.
Is it something you can't notice or don't notice?
Hobbes Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
I'd venture to say "can't notice." Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Ralphie, I feel much the same way. I'm almost entirely different at 23 than I was at 18. Actually, I'm very different at 23 than I was at 22.
o_O
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Wow, the TV generation really doesn't have any patience Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
You're telling me. I can't even wait for a commercial break to end. On the bright side, I'm a very good multi-tasker. I can watch at least three different shows at once.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
*cough*ADD*cough*
Posted by Julie (Member # 5580) on :
edit: see? I can't even leave it at only one smiley!
[ September 28, 2003, 07:45 PM: Message edited by: Julie ]
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Hobbes, its the exposure to those who are different than yourself and being forced to live in close proximity watching how they eat, drink, study...the people you find being friends against all odds. It is the exposure to the realization that you can be/do whatever you want and there are many paths to choose from. Plethera of classes. It is discovering yourself. How you fit into that big picture. How you really study, what makes you tick, what you want to achieve and you figuring out how to achieve it. It is the lack of parental direction, knowing that you can do it on your own and sinking or swimming accordingly (although sadly I think in the college world this is becoming later and less prevalent). Its getting your own apartment and the thrill and shock of responsibility.
All of these things (to me) add up to many small changes that bring you into the "adult" world.
Don't get me wrong. A lot of people don't make these changes, but they are what college embodies to me. Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
That and lots of sex, drugs, alcohol and rock'n'roll. Dude. Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
quote:Is that what my roommate really doing, having life-enriching experiences that I’m missing out on sitting here doing homework and playing games?
Maybe. Just because it isn't your style doesn't mean it might not end up being a life-altering experience for him. And just because it is his style doesn't mean it's what you should be doing.
I went to college a year ahead of Juliette. We had a couple of fights during that year because I was trying to tell her not to have such high expectations about college; it isn't some magical place where everything gets better and life suddenly makes sense. She didn't want to hear it, and she got upset with me both for ruining her fantasy and for putting my own experiences on her (which is fair enough). Thing was, she had built it up so much that she DID end up disappointed at first.
Spending time thinking about when your life-altering experience is coming is really a waste of time. As high schoolers we dream of getting out of high school, away from home, and we think that everyone in college will be so mature or so much fun. What we may not realize is that the other people in college are also young (especially when you're a freshman and associating mostly with freshmen) and inexperienced and immature. The trick to having a life-altering experience is not to look for it. Be yourself and try to have a good time and, whether or not you notice it, your life will change.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"I just haven't been learning any of it doing anything I wouldn't have/couldin't have done back home."
Perhaps you should be doing things that you wouldn't or couldn't do at home.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
You know, Hobbes, I don't think I started having a truly great time at college until after Halloween of freshman year. Many of my friends at other universities (and even some of my friends here) have said they didn't start to really make friends and have fun until second semester.
And I don't know if I could describe anything that's happened really life-altering, aside from the fact that I became friends with wonderful people I would not have met had I just stayed at home in Michigan.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
quote:Perhaps you should be doing things that you wouldn't or couldn't do at home.
Tom is a smart guy. Get out there and join a new club! Purdue is a big place; it has to have something that interests you!
(Don't make me send my Purdue NROTC friend over to make you do something!)
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Point number 1) I started this thread when I was way too self absorbed. I'm getting out of that now.
Point number 2) I was angry when I started this and wanted an excuse to whine. I would delete it except that A) I don't delete anything that someone's responded to and B) You guys have said some really good things here.
Point Number 3) Boy is Tom smart or what!?! (((((Tom)))))
Quite frankly I haven't done anything because I'm complete coward. Alcohol and drugs aren't something that I think I should be doing (and they aren't even a temptation to me) but I know that I should be actively trying to make friends or joining clubs or getting in shape or something, but I have no self discipline and exposing myself scares me. *hits self*
To semi-quote Stewie: willpower, gotta get me some of that.
(By the way, the original quote is one of the best in Family Guy: "You know I love this God fellow; he's so theatrical. A plague here and a pestilence there. Omnipotence; gotta get me some of that!)
Hobbes Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
*resists temptation to say "Hobbes, come up and visit, I'LL give you a life-altering experience."*
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Hobbes Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
quote:exposing myself scares me
Well now. It scares the rest of us too. No one's asking you to do that! Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Hobbes Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Think of the children.
And the kittens. Especially the kittens.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Hobbes, the number one thing I'd recommend doing if you want a life alterning experience is to simply hang out with new and different people. It's not hard. Go wander around until you see something interesting going on. (There always something interesting going on somewhere in college.) Then watch and/or join in.
Clubs, organized activities, seminars, etc. are helpful too, but when you change yourself, I think you do it primarily through your interactions with the people around you.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
*thinks of the kittens*
Awww, they're like a mini-Hobbes.
Hobbes Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Tres, that's what I mean when I say I'm a coward. I'm never able to do that, though next time I'll try. *self-determined smilie*
Hobbes Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
Seriously though, drugs will change your life. Just joking...
I actually had a really similar experience when I started university over here. I started expecting change, new things, new friends. Didn't really find it because I never put myself out there. I showed up, went to class and then went home (very few people live on campus in Australia). However, uni has changed my life drastically since.
Strage thing is, I happened to meet a girl in an English tutorial in second year. We got talking, we dated for a couple of weeks, I met her friends... And things went down hill from there. Three months later, I had travelled the US, moved out of home with three guys who became my best friends even though I hadn't them before I knew this girl. I started doing the campus revues, then theatre, then volunteer programs, then politics. I've been involved in campaigns against education "reforms" from the federal government, I've played a major role in introducing anonymous assessment at my university, I've produced and am technical director for the two biggest campus revues, I've been part of the organising team for Orientation Week and I've helped dozens of smaller causes and theatrical productions get off the ground. I've lived in three houses, changed my direction in life entirely and made the best and closest friends I could imagine having. I'm in a place I never dreamed of being in when I left school.
It has been life-altering... but not straight away. So, I suggest getting involved. If you're shy, try the gameplayers society or a school-based club like the maths or computer society. Probably lots of similar-minded people there. Once you start meeting those people, you'll get involved in the clubs events and start getting to know heaps of folks. They'll know other people or be involved in other clubs... And your interests will change and blossom. For me, everything kinda steamrolled. I sort of woke up one day and said "Crikey!" when I realised I had four meetings for four different things that day... And none of them academics-related.
As someone who knows hundreds and hundreds of people on campus and has encountered dozens of clubs and societies, I can safely say that there are people of all sorts and all persuasions doing all kinds of things. Some of the geekiest people I know are members of the theatre society as well as the gameplayers... Or the cyber society as well as doing the biggest and most public volunteer programs. You've got a lot of offer Hobbes. Get out there, offer it and see what happens Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
EG said straight away.
I miss hanging around Aussies. Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
I'll be sure to chuck in a few more bits and bobs of Aussie slang then, Mack.
No worries, eh?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Hobbes, yes you can.
If you want you can do something simple like studying out in the hallway. Some people who walk by will probably say 'hi' or 'hey I'm in that class' or something like that, and there you go.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
or even "Get the hell out of my way."
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh dear me -
I'd offer you some of my life-changing experiences, Hobbes (I've had just way too many to deal with in the last 10 years of my life) but at 18 I couldn't have handled even one of them -
I was too busy having mind-altering events at 18.
I'd sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Because, trust me, as soon as 23 hits, you're sunk.
I'm 34 and really, I don't know how I'm still floating.
*Insert drowning pic here*
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
[EDIT: I thought I was posting after Mack's comment]
<grin> That's probably more likely, because I've tested out of most of the Freashman classes, or at least most of the ones that I would be studying for...
Anyways, I'm going to try and do this stuff. Next time I wimp out I'm recording Tom's comment and playing it over and over until I get so sick of it I go out and do something just to get away.
Hobbes
[ September 28, 2003, 10:27 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
(((((((((Shan)))))))))
Hobbes Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Also, go to football games.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Hobbes, you can have some of MY life-altering experiences.
Or I can take you hiking. Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Indeed I do go to the football games. Notre Dame sucks!
Mack, I'd love to go hiking with you, but I promise not to keep up.
Hobbes Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
Wait wait... what are you still doing here responding to these posts anyways? Go do something... Something's probably going on somewhere.
Heh.
[ September 28, 2003, 10:39 PM: Message edited by: Tresopax ]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Sunday night at 10:00? Well..probably.
I techincally have math homework, so I'm in my room watching Full Metal Jacket with my roomate.
Hobbes Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Yes. Sunday night at 10:00. Some of the best, hidden, craziest out of the way parties occur then.
You're right. Do your math and go to bed.
mack - don't you take people hiking and they break their legs or something? Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
no. they attempt to do things stupider than I do, like climbing 50-foot waterfalls, falling, and then getting deep tissue damage.
No limbs broken at any time.
So far.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
*Promises not to try and climb 50 foot water falls*
Hobbes Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
This looks like a good place to start... As soon as the database of clubs is back up!
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Maybe the lack of life altering experiences is your life altering experience. Just plain good ol fashioned disillusionment! Just kidding. Life isn't like a stock market graph, there's no sharp up or down turns. Kind've a gradual slope. The only people who notice how much you've changed will be the people you don't see very often, because those you DO see often are probably changing themselves.
But if you're into the quick route, get into some life threatening situations. That seems to work for people on TV.
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
I second joining a club or several clubs.
My freshman year I joined the archery team and the juggling club. I learned to juggle and was president of the club the first half of my sophomore year. I did do all nighters playing D and D, something that I could not do at home. I had fun going to the on campus pub/game room/eating place for late night eats. I took the rapid tranist accross town to see The Seventh Seal. I took the rapid transit downtown.
There are many things to do, but you have to find them. They probably will not find you.
msquared
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Hobbes, you are a sweet goober.
Everyone is right - go out, find clubs and people, and the life-altering bit will come.
Do service. Find some way to volunteer that involves people, and really, really care about the people you are helping.
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