porce: that was... porce: weird. porce: i dont want any responses to that. AntoniaDodge: Ahhhhhh AntoniaDodge: Well, that's no good. GradiatedEthics: Sara: Agreed. It must remain pristine, virginal. Itself and nothing more. porce: ahahaa, exactly. GradiatedEthics: *cue new age music* porce: it it so perfect alone, we should try to get it locked GradiatedEthics: rofl! AntoniaDodge: And stickied. porce: ahahahahaha AntoniaDodge: It should be the first thread, always. porce: i dont think kristine would see our sense of humor, AntoniaDodge: A shrine, if you will. porce: but i think it should be kept. porce: ahahahaha AntoniaDodge: "Please enter our home," and it would be the first thing in the entryway.
GradiatedEthics: lol GradiatedEthics: It does capture so much of Hatrack... GradiatedEthics: OSC... porce: seriously! AntoniaDodge: ::grins:: AntoniaDodge: Maybe rub it everytime you go by. GradiatedEthics: Mormons... questions of ethics, morality, religion. porce: yes! AntoniaDodge: So it has little dulled spots. porce: it is so great GradiatedEthics: A touch of the poetic. AntoniaDodge: Where people touch it, as a sacrement. porce: and it was their first post! GradiatedEthics: Strange, nonsensical use of smilies. porce: i want it kept alone! porce: even if i have to post to leave it alone and then delete my post! GradiatedEthics: I'm sure there's an abortion or homosexual marriage subtext to it... -------
if you post to it, please delete your posts. please keep our shrine clean. thank you for your reverence.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Only touch it reverently as you enter this side of the river.
Thank you.
Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
im not sure, but i believe my cerebellum just fused to my brain stem. Too many layers of sarcasm to decode.. cant handle it... brain...hurting... fire inside..hat... ::nose bleeds:::
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
**deletes his post**
Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
as did i
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
Looks upon it in reverence. Leaves.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
We should bump the thread, and then delete the post.
That way it remains a singular, beautiful entity but stay first page.
I'll go first.
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
I think it would be cool to keep it drifting around page one.
The problem: I posted and deleted in an attempt to bump. Both Pat and odouls had ?unintentionally? done the same thing.
We could ask the moderators if they'd make it sticky. They might do it.
But it would mean more and be funner if it was our responsibility to keep it on page one.
I suggest strict rules for bumping it. A single phrase, the same phrase always. Something like "Breathe in, Breathe out". Also, bumping posts should be at least an hour apart.
[ September 15, 2003, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: Amka ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
It stayed!!!
The bump/delete method WORKED.
YES.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I think this is another tragic example of what the animated smileys are doing to us.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Oh, curses. It only stayed for a second.
What are we going to do?
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Well. I'd really like to post a comment on it, but I respect your sacred space. Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
This is a serious problem.
How do we keep it's beauty and virginity, and yet not lose it to the unfeeling void of Hatrack oblivion?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Toni, when did you wax so poetic? Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Well, it might be beautiful, but I would dispute it's virginity...
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I suggest one post:
"Do not reply to this."
Then you can delete it and replace it every once in a while to keep it up front, and no one has to see THIS thread to not post on it.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Okay. Okay okay okay.
I think I've got it:
We need to assign one person to bump it, an ambassador of sorts. Like, one high priest to offer it gifts from the peoples, and to lay bounty in the thread for it.
This way it gets bumped, but it's only a REPRESENTATIVE post, not an actual content-filled post, and that way it stays first page and remains pure, virginal, in tact.
Right? Will this work?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I'm not sure I get why you don't want anyone to reply to it. I mean if this person isn't a troll then the whole thing can be cleared up quickly with one good post (especially if it's a Geoffry post ) and if they are a troll then we find that out and stop posting. I'm not going to post on the thread as per your wishes but I'm rather confused about why you want it bumped up to the top and not posted on.
Hobbes Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Hobbes.
Read the conversation between porce, EG and I. It's PARAMOUNT this remains a beautiful, virginal thing.
If you can't see that, your mind has become blinded by the Unbeliever.
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
Points to her post somewhere up there. Like I said:
breathe in breathe out
Since it is porce's post, we need to ask her first, though.
The bump and delete method has been shown to be impermanent, PSI.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Hobbes. it's freakin' hilarious. That's why *I* want it to stay on the first page for a while. Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well I still don't get it but I'll leave the thread alone.
Hobbes Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Not bump and delete, persay.
If you post once, it will be bumped. Next time the same person can post the same thing, and then delete the original. It will always have one reply, but if you make the reply be "Do not reply to this" then it's all good.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
PSI.
That is not sacred enough.
We need to elect a high priest/ess to offer it gifts, and it shall be the High Bumper/ess.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
That's what I thought you'd say.
I nominate Toni.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Now why would a leper like Thomas Covenant want to blind Hobbes?
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
I'm thinking that Pat should be the Bump Priest. He can sacrifice one of his user names for each bump. They aren't virgins, but it's probably the closest we're going to get.
****
On a different topic, I'm waiting for Tom's tourist stuff to hit ebay so I can get a better deal for it. His stuff is way too expensive.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
But Pat hasn't been around, jeniwren.
We need someone who's focused. Who will dedicate their time and attention to this pursuit. Who doesn't have a life, if you will. Who will be a perfect speciment of High Bumperess.
::casually and briefly points to self while looking away::
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I already nominated you. Now we need a second.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
jeniwren: the stuff is numbered. It's limited edition! You gotta get yours now before they disappear!
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I really don't think that phantom bumping counts as keeping it "virginal."
"Are you a virgin?" "Of course!" "Didn't I hear that you and Jimmy DeLucco did it behind the gym?" "Oh him? He doesn't count."
[ September 15, 2003, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: saxon75 ]
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
I second.
I do like the idea of having only one post there, with the previous one deleted though.
And what if there really are offerings? Like, we ask the High Priestess to offer something up to the burning.. like a phrase or wish or something that gets burned up.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
saxon, that's why there needs to be a sacrifice each time. To keep it pure.
Ralphie you don't have enough nicks to sacrifice. You would exhaust yourself, and leave the rest of us without our necessary daily hit of Ralphie Luv.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
I'm always here. I would be honored to be the high priest of the bump.
Except I already broke my vow of celibacy.
Aside from that, I think I'm qualified.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Uh, OK. So, like, if you're a virgin and I sleep with you, you're not a virgin anymore, but if you then cut my heart out and burn it on a little fire, you're a virgin again?
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: Like, we ask the High Priestess to offer something up to the burning.. like a phrase or wish or something that gets burned up.
*hands over her bras*
PS-fish, book, secrets
[ September 15, 2003, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
It looks like it's all moot.
Tom isn't going to erase his post out of principle. I even sent him a threatening e-mail and everything. He just posted, and ran.
We could start preparing to go jihad on his butt, though. Otherwise, the High Bumper/ess idea is OUT.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Ralph, you have no authority to make that decision. Only a man who holds the priesthood of the bump can, and he must be elected by a two-thirds majority on both sides of the forum.
**gets election signs ready**
Campaign manager anyone?
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
saxon, I can neither confirm nor deny that allegation. However, off the record, I think you've probably got the right idea.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
BOTH sides? Goodness gracious.
It would amuse the heck out of me if this is the post that breaks my Other Side virginity.
Posted by Head Ditch Digger (Member # 5085) on :
Here, here, pick me, pick me.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Does this mean we can post in it until the election is over?
Will there be opportunity for a recall?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
But how shall preserve the purity of the thread if Tom's merchandising post is the FIRST thing you see after the Great EndersBurningPost?
I fail to see how we can continue without producing a corrupted version of the original. In that case, you would be vying for position of an apostate EndersBurning, which I want nothing to do with.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
you know, honestly, i am okay if it stays up there even for just a week.
thanks for your understanding and cooperation. i love the level of religious tolerance at hatrack.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I agree, of course, that any High Bumper or Bumperess should have final review of any products sold; that's really the only way to ensure that they're of a spiritual enough quality to please both Ender AND the customer. And in recognition of the time this approval process would take, I'd have no problem donating, say, ten percent of any after-tax profit to the cause or individual of the High Bumperess' choice.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Ralph,
Good point. Let's kill Tom, then have the election.
Except if we kill him, he can't erase his post.
I'll have counsel with my high priests of the bump committee and get back to you on this one.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
jeni, the thing is that even if I accept that to be the case, I don't think your sacrifice analogy fits this situation. This is actually more like if I sleep with you and then tell everyone that it never happened and then never call you or talk to you or look at you again.
Sure, I'd be an insensitive jerk, but you still wouldn't be a virgin.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Bah!
This has become an commercial endeavor.
Infidels! Apostates! May EndersBurning judge you according to your ways, and may he have mercy upon your souls in the afterlife.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Let us all boycott Tom the Apostate until he removes his filfth-ridden post.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Saxon, you make a terrible religious zealot. You have to overlook little things like logic. Now get with the program.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
<--- is heading the EndersBurning Fundamentalist Movement.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
A fundamentalist movement is not needed. We need a full-on re-establishment of the thread before the dark times came, before Tom the Apostate destroyed it.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I'm sorry, jeni. Besides, you know if we hooked up I'd definitely call you back.
Just, uh, let's keep it on the down low, OK?
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Wow, Pat.
You and I being on the same side is enough to signal the apocalypse, eh?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
In honor of the official boycott, I shall be producing "I Boycotted Tom's Souvenir Shop" T-shirts at the low, low price of $13.95. Buy one today!
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Ralphie... they never told you, did they?
I am your father.
Search your feelings, you know it's true.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Well, I knew you were OLD enough to be my father, but I never dared dream!
Wait, when I kissed saxon... does this mean he's my BROTHER?!
Holy crap, I have a lot to think about.
Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
::is fascinated by how fast the post count is flying up on this thread. wanted to be a part of it::
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Everyone, everyone, that NEVER HAPPENED. I am SO still a virgin!
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
I'll buy one, $13.95?. It's for a friend. Really.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Saxon, that's what they all say. Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
OFFICIAL HIGH PRIEST OF THE BUMP RULING:
Anyone buying or seen near Tom the Apostate's shop will have their tithing rate raised to 20 percent.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Erik has been having apostate leanings this ENTIRE TIME.
All those that follow Tom the Apostate, state your positions clearly so that we may cast you from the brethren.
All those who remain pure of heart and want to be guided by EndersBurning, make your proclamations known!
I have sent an communique to Tom the Apostate. It goes something like this:
Outta my thread, bee-otch.
That is all.
-Toni, who will go postal-on-you-don't-think-she-won't.
There has been no return message. I take this as a slap to all that is holy about EndersBurning.
I say we prepared for Tom the Apostate to be Jihaded.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
::gives sexy, smoldering look to Post::
Oh, baby, you lookin' so tense! How 'bout I just come on over there and pour you a little glass of wine and rub those shoulders. Come on, baby, you know I'll call you tomorrow. Oh, you're a virgin? That's OK, baby, so am I. So why don't you say we OOPS! I spilled some wine on my shirt. I guess I'm just gonna have to take that off so it can dry.
[ September 15, 2003, 02:39 PM: Message edited by: saxon75 ]
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
**straps explosives to his back**
Should I go in?
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
*nominates saxon for ritual sacrifice*
He's a virgin.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
I still have trouble believing in this "EnderBurning" thread. How do I know that it really exists?
The merchandise is too cool though.
I'll just be a fence-post sitter, and get creamed by everyone...
Edit: hmm. This is the 66th post in the thread.
That can't be good....
[ September 15, 2003, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Erik Slaine ]
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
::puts arm around Post::
Don't you listen to them, sugar. They're just jealous 'cause they don't understand you like I do.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I didn't want to do this. I didn't. I hold the office of High Bumper in the highest respect, and revere its teachings.
But I must regretfully reveal that Ralphie, the High Bumperess, has purchased no fewer than three aluminum-core spatulas from my shop in recent days. I recognize that we're all mortal, here, and possessed of mortal failings; I'm also gratified that I have been able to provide material assistance to her Inquisition, even if I have been limited so far to providing the assorted torturers and enforcers in her employ with spatulas of the finest foreign manufacture, each tastefully monogrammed with a single copper "E." For "Ender." ($12.95, or $19.95 with measuring cups and complimentary beechwood display stand.)
But fate -- in the form of Ralphie -- has forced my hand, and I must regretfully make these receipts, clearly stamped with her official signature, part of the public record. I believe that Ender forgives her, and hope that her supplicants can bring themselves to do the same.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
HANG HER! HANG HER!
RALPHIE THE APOSTATE MUST DIE!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Holy wars are ugly, ugly things. Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
::sidles up to the Holy War::
Don't listen to him, you sweet thang, I think you're beautiful.
::whispers to Post::
She means nothing to me, baby. You're the only one for me.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
RALPH? HOW DO YOU PLEA?
Destineer? what's your noos... I mean, neck size?
Posted by Destineer (Member # 821) on :
Oops, I missed this thread. Crap! Sorry, everybody. Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Just in case, Destineer, we sell a whole array of designer dickies for the stylish hangee.
Posted by Destineer (Member # 821) on :
Tie it tight. It will have to hold the weight of a pig.
Now, who can place that quote?
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Delete, Destineer. Wield the mighty power of "delete post." Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Patrick. You were ready to feed me to the lions so quickly.
I wept for this passing. I had not done these things, but I could see no other way to prove my innocence than to do something investigating of my own. Receipts? Clearly stamped with my official signature? Part of the public record?
Who would have access to these things if I had not actually betrayed my theology and committed such heinous crimes with Tom the Apostate?
And then I found the truth. It pains me, nay breaks my heart in twain. However, the truth must be outted, and I cannot carry this burden upon my heart any longer.
[ September 15, 2003, 03:42 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
quote:I, Patrick, have caught you in the act!
OMG, you're Patrick? So now that kiss was gay on top of incestuous? I mean, uh... What kiss?
Of course, you'll probably just change your post so this one doesn't make any sense.
Posted by Pat (Member # 879) on :
Ok. I admit that is an authentic picture taken only a few days ago.
But it's not as it seems. I was merely offering the wayward Tom a token gift so that he would not go ahead with his filfth ridden shop idea. I was trying to bring him back to the one and only truth.
I am innocent. I promise.
Have mercy.
[ September 15, 2003, 03:33 PM: Message edited by: Pat ]
Posted by Destineer (Member # 821) on :
Ha ha, good idea, CT. It's not often that I have the chance to nuke a post.
[ September 15, 2003, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Destineer ]
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
I knew you wouldn't be able to resist editing your post, Ralphie! Fortunately, I was able to make a copy of it before you also took this part out:
quote:I am a big stinky post-changer who's out to ruin all of saxon's fun because I secretly want to have his babies and kiss his wife.
Posted by wieczorek (Member # 5565) on :
Sounds like something Ralphie the Beloved would say. Hmmm...that reminds me of Hail the Almighty OSC !! But I wouldn't say that Ralphie's name deserves to be in bold. That'd be quite an exaggeration.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
I knew it! Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
saxon - It's true. I do want to have your babies and kiss your wife.
But how would that be ruining the fun? :grins:
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
See, if I were a big stinky post-changer, I would go back and make it so your comeback would have no meaning. But there's only enough room in this thread for one big stinky post-changer, and that's you.
So there.
Posted by Ethics Gradient (Member # 878) on :
I would just like to point out that Ralphie saying she'll go "postal" has a whole different meaning when used in the context of an online forum...
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
) and if they are a troll then we find that out and stop posting. I'm not going to post on the thread as per your wishes but I'm rather confused about why you want it bumped up to the top and not posted on. ![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
He's a virgin.
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
!! But I wouldn't say that Ralphie's name deserves to be in bold. That'd be quite an exaggeration.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)