2. Settings. A restaurant, around a dozen other attendants.
3. Relation. I like girl quite a lot which I believe she knows (although she's probably not aware of the exact extent of my feelings). Girl has boyfriend and is not interested in me romantically.
4. Girl said "bring no present"; is happy by me "just showing up".
Questions:
Do I bring a present anyway, and, if yes, what kind would be appropriate?
Input appreciated.
Posted by Damien (Member # 5611) on :
I'd say bring a present anyhow. I don't know, exactly, what you should get her. What kinds of things is she into?
Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :
If you do bring a present make it small and give it to her in private. Do not make a big deal over it. As you have said she is attached and not looking. Buying something showy and giving it to her in public would emberas her and others there.
msquared
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Classiest way to handle this that I can think of:
No gift per se, but do bring a birthday card. Include in it a note that you've made a donation (don't specify amount) in her name to:
Humane Society (if she likes animals) Amnesty International (if she's a human rights activist) RIF (if she's into books and kids) etc
She may not open cards. If she does, you can just say you wanted to respect her wishes about no gifts, but you also wanted to honor the occasion.
[ September 10, 2003, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
Posted by Tristan (Member # 1670) on :
Hmm, I'm leaning towards bringing something, and msquared's advice is sensible. ClaudiaTherese, your way may be classy, but since we are both poor students I would feel as if I actually made a bigger deal out of it if I spent money on something that's not her than if I gave it to her directly (which would be embarrassing, probably for both of us).
Thanks .
[ September 10, 2003, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Tristan ]
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
For god's sake, don't give her jewelry (or roses, or any other stereotypically romantic gift)! I'm sure that you probably wouldn't, but I remember a few years ago there was a fairly young Hatracker who did something of the sort, or was at least contemplating it.
[ September 10, 2003, 04:53 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]
Posted by Tristan (Member # 1670) on :
Noemon, I most assuredly did NOT contemplate anything of that kind . Actually, I think I've found a way out. We have a friend in common who is also going. I think I'll contact him and ask if he considers bringing anything and if we perhaps could buy something together. That would solve it neatly.
[ September 10, 2003, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: Tristan ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Lingiere is right out.
And don't get drunk and spend the night dissing her present bo. He'll beat your #$@#$@#.
Sounds to me that either she is showing some interest in you, or setting you up with a friend. Women love to play matchmaker.
So, do get her friend drunk, take her home, and spend all night talking about your feelings for the birthday girl and her big ugly boy friend.
Posted by Tristan (Member # 1670) on :
Dan, I don't think she's showing interest in me; I think she's feeling sorry for me. But the setting me up with friend is an interesting theory.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Just show up, act all witty and charming, and flirt with someone else.
I find that quite satisfying.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Tristan...as a girl, here's what I would tell you to do. Obviously you've spent some time around this girl cause you like her a lot. You probably know a little about her. I would bring her a gift, but a really small gift. Here's the thing though, it should be something having to do with the two of you and the time you've spent together. Something that she would 'get' and think is hilarious or great...and something that would always remind her of you and the time she's spent with you as a friend. This can even include a great birthday card with just the right wording, or a silly keychain with a saying on it. But, as a girl, I love getting gifts with thought like that put into them. I love getting gifts that remind me of a friend or a funny story every time I use/see it.
I do agree with the idea of giving it to her in private or dropping it off at her house or something. Most likely, you don't want to give it to her in front of her boyfriend for obvious reasons. If you give it to her in a way that you're not there when she opens it (which is cool)it'll be kind of fun to see what she says the next time she sees you.
Good luck. I know she'll appreciate anything you do.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
.![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
. Actually, I think I've found a way out. We have a friend in common who is also going. I think I'll contact him and ask if he considers bringing anything and if we perhaps could buy something together. That would solve it neatly.