Hatrack River Forum: Thinkin Bout Running for Pope

This is topic Thinkin Bout Running for Pope in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

Yeah, that's right. We all know that position has to be vacant pretty soon, or else John Paul is a lot more holy than we all know about. Or it's a clever ruse.

So I'm announcing, here, now, that, even though I am an action hero star, I am starting my campaign for Pope. I won't deny it; my motives are completely self-centered (I just like the hat), but that hasn't stopped me from becoming what I am today. Which is nothing. Maybe I should rethink that.

The name of my campaign is "Book: How does he get to be Pope?" because I honestly don't know. I figure it has something to do with God. Maybe he flips a big, divine coin or something, like a really shiny quarter. If I attract enough to my campaign, which I intend to do by faking a death or two, I assume someone will tell me. I hope I don't have to be Catholic or something, because I'm not and I don't know what part of the penis they cut off.

I won't deny it. My platform will be heavily religious. All of my objectives can be summed up with the phrase, "Let's God it up, dude!" which will be my campaign slogan once I figure out how I should campaign. I can tell you one thing for certain: if it's not allowed to have a tiny little monkey dressed up like the Pope and the normal Pope isn't allowed to call him "Li'l P," then that will change immediately.

Anyway, my best to John Paul and my boys in Berlin or Paris or whatever, not to mention the big G and company. Vote for me in the upcoming Pope election. Or maybe pray for me. Think it works that way? Maybe God already knows who we're all going to vote for. I'll have to ask him.

[ August 08, 2003, 05:48 PM: Message edited by: Book ]

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :

I don't know who you are, but if you're ever in the mood to become my minion, my email address is in my profile.

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

I dunno. Are you catholic? Because I hear that's a big thing with the Popery stuff.

[ August 08, 2003, 05:59 PM: Message edited by: Book ]

Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :

Well, his name is Frisco and he has a pretty cute butt and an adorable face. Can you tell if a person is Catholic from that?

(You know, come to think of it, the cutest boys that I would always get crushes on as a child were good Catholic boys. ::sigh:: )

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

Cute butt, huh? How old is he? Because if he's 11 or so he might just be my ticket in......

Oooooh, that joke's just plain awful. I'll let my PR man handle that.

[ August 08, 2003, 06:03 PM: Message edited by: Book ]

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :

I was baptized Catholic [Dont Know]

If you became the Pope, you'd definitely be my second most popular minion, right behind Ralphie.

And Kayla. But she'll never admit to being my minion.

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

That all depends on whether or not you'll come with me, and if I can pass you off as a minor. Maybe if I distract a lot of the Vatican with you, I can just run into the Pope's office and lock the door and then after a while they'll have no choice.

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :

Can I have a monkey, too?

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

Don't see why not. But the name "Li'l P" is taken. If this works.

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :

Can I borrow the Popemobile on weekends for dates?

Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :

I am just wondering if you ever thought that you might just offend a Catholic or two?

Maybe I will be the next Prophet of the Mormon church? How do you go about doing that? I have no idea, but I like your choir. Maybe I can get myself some more wives once I change the rules of the faith. I can do that right? Once I am head of the Mormons? Just say I had a vision or something?

[Roll Eyes]

msquared

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

I was under the opinion that I made myself sound so clearly stupid that no one would even begin to take me seriously.

[ August 08, 2003, 07:06 PM: Message edited by: Book ]

Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :

Well if you are Catholic you can make these jokes. Just like if you are black you can use the N word.

Don't you know the PC rules? Only members of a group can joke about the group.

Now go do three Hail Mary's, four Our Fathers and 6 Novina's.

msquared

Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :

What about Father Guido Sarducci? Is he offensive?

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

Okay.

.....Those are all football plays, right?

Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :

If you run for Pope and win, please end this no meat on Friday nonsense. Please.

THIS IS NOT THE MIDDLE AGES! WE HAVE PLENTY OF BEEF TO GO AROUND!!!

Sorry. I feel better.

[ August 08, 2003, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: Alucard... ]

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :

Okay, it bugged me a little and I usually have a damn good sense of humor about my church. o_O

*looks for sense of humor*

Posted by msquared (Member # 4484) on :

The guy who played Father Guido was Catholic, if I remember correctly.

And while the Hail Mary play is used at Notre Dame, God's Football team, it is actually a prayer, which I expect you know.

msquared

Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :

Haha, yeah.

Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :

mack, the really cute boys really were good Catholic boys. [Frown]

Or were you talking about Book and Frisco?

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :

I don't remember. o_O