I thought this movie would be fun, have cool action and effects and have a few ultra sexy shots of Jolie's awesome body, I WAS FREAKING WRONG.
Man, I thought there was no way to go below LoEG this summer.
DO NOT SEE this movie. Your head will hurt and your wallet will scream.
[ August 01, 2003, 02:26 AM: Message edited by: Duragon C. Mikado ]
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
Eh. It looked fundamentally uninteresting to me. And call me what names you will, but I just don't think of Angelina Jolie's body as awesome.
I did like the glow-y light effects in the previews. *points* Oooh, shiny...
I feel for your wallet and combusted head, though.
(((Duragon))) Posted by slacker (Member # 2559) on :
Have you heard that the producers of the movie are blaming the latest Tomb Raider video game on the poor performance of the movie?
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
My fundamental problem was that from the previews, it looked like Harrison Ford had done the story about a decade ago and scores better, if you ask me. I think they called it Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I heard, though, that it was better than the first one. But since the first one sucketh verily unto the depths of sheol, "better" isn't incentive enough to see it if you ask me. A butt kicking that will leave you bruised is probably better than an horrific car accident that will leave you a vegetable, but when you can avoid both, why opt for simply the "lesser evil"?
Q.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Duragon, I thought the same thing and although I was disappointed by the first movie, I decided to give it a chance because all the reviews said that it was better than the first. I was SO mad when I got out of the theater. *laugh* I thought it was worse than the first.
I do like Angelina Jolie, though *grin* There were a few fun shots, but not enough to justify the movie.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I thought it was marginally better than the first film -- with the notable exception of the snarling cartoon shark, which seemed lifted straight from Finding Nemo -- but had so many glaring, agonizing plot holes that I simply couldn't bring myself to tolerate it.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
I thought it was worse than the first one. The first one I actually enjoyed. This one was torture.
The principal difference: This one lacked sufficient gratuitous shots of a scantily-clad Ms. Jolie. Posted by Potemkyn (Member # 5465) on :
That movie was just stupid.
Laura Croft said, "Finding Pandora's box will be the greatest find since the discovery of the Pyramids." WTF? Who "discovered" the pyramids? Can't you see some 10th century Arab waking up one morning and looking out his window and saying, "Woah...what is that...hey Achmed...you see those before?"
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You know, what bugged me most is the way they casually assume the audience is stupid. For example -- and here's a spoiler -- why would Terry think for a moment, at the end of the film, that he could find a buyer for Pandora's Box who WOULDN'T open the box? He lectures Lara about her "morals," but tries to appease her by arguing that at least they killed "that bastard Rice:" the implication being, of course, that the buyer HE'D find for the box wouldn't be an evil bastard.
But assuming that Terry does indeed believe that the box unleashes terrible plagues -- and having seen supernatural monsters, magic lights, and a pool of rather remarkable acid all within the last hour, why wouldn't he? -- what makes him think that any of his buyers would purchase it for "a fortune" without actually OPENING it?
And why wouldn't Lara just point this out to him?
(For that matter, here's a bigger plot hole: why the heck would the bad guy assume that HE would survive the plague? I mean, is this just colossal arrogance on his part, or did I miss some scene where he figures out an antidote to Greek myth?)
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Hey. . . where have I seen that quote before?
*scratches head* Either that or this is the weirded episode of deja voo I've ever had. . . ^_^
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
That's from Cris's column, I think, and it would be nice of you to give him credit for it.
Ni!
Posted by Potemkyn (Member # 5465) on :
Didn't think it was necessary, considering I worte it before.
But, oh well, my first post in this topic was originally written in Chris Bridges thread, "Column Help" by yours truly.
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
That's it! I had the feeling I was being haunted by the ghost of another post, but you just never know. I was all set to attribute it to Dave Barry.
On second thought, it didn't say "booger."
Q.
Posted by Shameless Self-Promotion (Member # 4919) on :
Ah, yes. There's nothing quite like recycling your own material.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
I went to see this movie. I wasn't expecting a good movie, I was hoping for a decent movie with some great "Isn't she a wonderful genetic freak" shots, but the movie was as boring as sleeping dirt and Jan De Bont is gay, so I'm guessing he didn't have as fun of a time shooting Angelina in TR as he did Keanu Reeves in Speed.
This movie was so boring.
1st of all, you know she's not going to get killed, and 2nd of all, there really aren't any other characters worth caring about, so where is the action and adventure supposed to come from???
The LOVE INTEREST chartacter Terry wiender schnitzel was so dull and had Zero chemistry with Mr. Jolie, so I could careless wether they got together, stayed together or she shot him in the chest.
The "mythology" behind the Pandora's box was about on a level a 1st grade student could understand.
"When Earth was created, a magic box was made so Earth could be uncreated, just like ying and yang."
What the ffff? This was beyond stupid to me. And didn't Laura Croft technically OPEN the Pandora's box at the end of the movie? AND how did the box float on that evil tar/acid? Ugghhh.
To make matters worse, I concluded my Angelina Jolie double feature with Original Sin, and for everyshot of a 1/2 naked Angelina, you got a big ole shot of Antonio Banderas' ASS. They showed it like 5 times. And sure, sure, sure Angelina has some very nice breasts, but whey couldn't they have shown her cute little Derrriere?
GRRRRR!!!! Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Damn it, twinky, we swore we'd never tell anyone we saw it!
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
That'll make you rethink those roommate "to the death" agreements.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
So, what you're saying is that I should kill him?
<--- Knows where twinky sleeps
Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :
Wait. This movie was double featured with something that had Antonio Banderas' tuchus AND there was evild-death-floaty-tar/acid??
I was so wrong!! This movie sounds GREAT.
Posted by Duragon C. Mikado (Member # 2815) on :
I think what killed me most is WHY THE HECK did they have to walk through that dangerous Shadow Guardian area when they had a freaking HELICOPTER and could've have landed or dropped the ord in from the air, etc. Their other friends did it. Or they simply could've waited for daylight!
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
What makes me incrredibly angry is how, while women are trying to kick butt, they have to look sexy. Men just kick butt. Now, don't think of me as a bitchy feminist, but I think there is only one woman I can think of that kicked butt w/ out looking sexy, but every guy I know is completely in love with her is Sarah Conner from the Terminator. What I especially love about Sarah is that she started out as an everyday girl, but because of circumstances, she had to change to protect her son. There was a REASON for the change, not like Laura Croft or Charlie's Angels where they just decided that they wanted to kick some butt and because secet agents with houses full of sexy clothing to fight in. Sarah Conner is a real person, and the change that she made was for a real (well, not completely logical, but at least they gave a justification) reason.
If you can think of another woman like Sarah Conner, then please let me know.....
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
Thanks for the warning.
I wasn't too fond of the first either.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Well, there's always Sigorney Weaver in Aliens.
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
That's very true....and I was thinking of adding her to my list.
But I just don't like Sigorney Weaver.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
quote:bitchy feminist
Isn't the term bitchy feminist redundant?
Can you name me an unattractive "action hero"?
Yupowza!
[ August 01, 2003, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: The Silverblue Sun ]
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
Thanx. I feel so loved.
So but honestly, think about it.....
And I'm only a bitchy feminist on some issues, like this one.
Maybe it's cuz I'm ugly and I am jealous of the pretty people
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
That's not what I'm saying What I'm saying is, usually as a HOLLYWOOD RULE
..who ever they put on screen is a super attractive human being, male or female, unless of course they are casting the part of the boss, the best friend, or the villian.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Note:
I'd like to add...
I'd like to use Angelina Jolie's ass as a pillow. Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
I know...I just think the
quote: HOLLYWOOD RULE
is stupid. Sarah Conner and Sigourney Weaver are the only two women who break that rule. And, can I just point out, that many of the people who worked on Aliens also worked on Terminator, which is part of the reason y they're so similar. Esp. Michael Biehn. God I love that man
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Do you find him attractive?
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
HELLS YAH!!!!
WEll, at least when he was younger. He's old now......But just think of the roles he's played...such as in Aliens, Terminator, and of COURSE, my fav western movie of all time (except for maybe Sliverado) Tombstone.
Posted by Lime (Member # 1707) on :
Heh - don't forget The Abyss. Man, that movie's awesome. I just got to see it a few weeks ago and I was blown away (saw the special edition).
Ah, gotta run - work's over!
Posted by Mr. Flibble (Member # 4178) on :
I believe this movie co-stars the lovely Christopher Barry. This still will not persuade me to see it even though I am a major Red Dwarf geek.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Ed Harris was the leading man in the Abyss and he isn't conventionally attractive, but I still like him in movies. He was the shining star in Apollo 13 to me. Of course, it's not really and "action" movie, I guess.
As for Biehn, I like him too, but he's way too typecast now. Let's see - space Marine in Aliens, futuristic freedom fighter in Terminator, Navy SEAL in, well - Navy SEALS, Navy SEAL in The Rock, Navy SEAL in the Abyss....I don't know, maybe just a LITTLE diversity might be good, Michael? Just a little? Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
But you can't forget him as the drunken cowboy in Tombstone, which is only one the best movies ever. I agree that he needs tofind some more "challenging" roles, but he's still awesome, and I still love him. Of course, Tombstone's when I fell in love w/ Val Kilmer too
"I'm your Huckelberry"
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
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![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
That's not what I'm saying ![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
HOLLYWOOD RULE ![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
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