[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 13, 2003).]
 

Not that I'd be any good. I never learned to ride above a canter.
 

*Rides off into sunset, spreading Apathy elsewhere.*
 

1stHorsemanofApocalypse, I regret to inform you that we can't accept you for the position at this time, as we are looking for applicants who don't suck.
 

[This message has been edited by Ignorance & Want (edited March 13, 2003).]
 

Also, if you have to ask if you're qualified, then you're probably not.
 

Two children.

Wretched, abject, frightful, hideous, miserable.

Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, wolfish; but prostrate, too, in our humility.

Where graceful youth should have filled our features out, and touched us with its freshest tints, a stale and shrivelled
hand, like that of age, had pinched, and twisted us, and pulled us into shreds. Where angels might have sat enthroned, devils lurked, and glared out menacing. No change, no degradation, no perversion of humanity, in any grade, through all the mysteries of wonderful creation, has monsters half so horrible and dread.

We are Man's children.

[This message has been edited by Ignorance & Want (edited March 13, 2003).]
 

1. Responsible for 90% of ignorance and want in human history.

2. Responsible for 78.3% of all wars in human history, if not more (indirectly linked to about 6% more, totalling approximately 84.3%).

3. The single reason that socialism only works in theory.

4. Responsible for caste systems everywhere. See India, China, Europe, Rome, Greece, Americas, Egypt, and Mesopotamia (in particular).

5. Able to master upwards of 98% of all human beings who have ever lived on the earth.

There are more...

For the past couple millenia, I've been working as one of the 7 deadly sins. Its been a good life, but I believe that my experience as a deadly sin is ready to be transfered into a rider of the apocolypse.

I have experience with horses. Many of the people that I have worked with owned horses and camels. Unfortunately, there was alway a problem in breaking the camel's back.

My cousin, Famine, was a rider of the Biblical Apocolypse. Just like her, I am food related. Too little of food, famine, will kill you and too much of it will kill you as well.

Recently, productivity has gone up. In the past 100 years, we suffered terribly, as girls began to take notice to looks. But within the past 20 years, I have steadily increased our productivity by 20 pounds every 10 years.

I am very good with children, especially teenage boys. Im a very good comforter, always around when breakups occur. I can be very rigorous and I am absolutely horrifying to look at.
 

And no, you're not getting an application from me, just 'cause I know it'll piss you off. This is all I'm offering, take it or leave it.
 

The rest... Been there, done that.
 

quote:

---

Can I be a Norseman of the Apocalypse?

---

You'd have to change your name to Ragnorak.
 

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 

I think all your favorite sports teams are wimpy and pathetic.

I write into networks to get your favorite shows cancelled, and encourage your favorite TV actors to demand raises and/or attempt movie careers.

I will often tell you that you are wrong, then smugly provide no hard data, claiming laziness. If you provide hard data, my eyes will get blurry and I'll ignore you.

I am physically unattractive, but behave as if I am devastatingly handsome.

When I was four years old, I tried to control fish with my mind.
 

No wonder Apathy didn't put in more of an effort.

My name's perfectly apocalyptic, thank you very much. If it was good enough for my grandfather, an incarnation of doom who could, with a mere scowl, convince grown men to wash dishes, it's certainly good enough for me.

 

We will consider your application and notify you of our decision.

[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 13, 2003).]
 

Now, MY mystery everyone learns fairly early on...
 

In the past, I've also been known as Revenge. Just to take credit for some of the mayhem that is rightfully mine. Cheese-eating glory-stealing surrender monkeys.
 

Or would you be "Compulsive Lying"?

[This message has been edited by FlyingCow (edited March 13, 2003).]
 

I should be one of the Horsemen because I'm completely superior to everyone and my IQ is 374 and because I have a link that proves my point.

Also, I'm the best at misquoting, misunderstanding, and misanthropy.

-A.D. Hominem
 

[This message has been edited by Procrastination (edited March 13, 2003).]
 

doom is impending...
 

*collapses seductively*

I'm busy.
 

Unfortunately, Human, Cynicism is already taken. You'll have to pick something else.
 

The sooner you guys act, the more fun I get to have, wrecking havoc around the world. So hope to it, my riders of doom.
 

America Online, you can't be a horseman of the apocolypse. You are a TOOL not a rider.
 

Experience: Every day of my life.
 

I will gladly accept the role that is coming to me.
 

I like Spite. Surprisingly refreshing.
 

Responisble for most of the Deadly Sins.

Friend to the Original Riders of the Apocolypse.

I consider myself to be a secret agent. People don't recognize me until its too late.

The best part is that Ignorance makes it so they don't know I've even been there till someone else points it out.

I'm even responsible for America Online.
 

Come on.

By default.
 

Hello Evil, my old friend.
 

How are things going?

Have you told Lust how you feel yet?

I am the whisper of change against which leaders rail, I am the shout of the emboldened as they watch the established order start to crumble. I am despised by those who fear the new.

I am the name authority bellows...Heresy! They speak Heresy!...as it feels itself threatened.

I am Heresy.

[This message has been edited by Heresy (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

COOOOL!

I wanna join!

What's your favorite deadly sin?

((((cynicism)))

(((((sarcasm)))))

Did you know this is my 1th post? Let me tell you my life story! It all started with blah blah blah blah blah blah parents blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah abuse blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah love blah blah blah blah blah blah suicide blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah God blah blah blah blah blah lived happily ever after!

I know! Let's have a limericks contest! I'll start:

There once were four horsemen of doom,
who made grand old plans in their room.
Up in their mom's house
they played with their mouse
and hid from the world in their womb.

Hey, have you all seen the fighting going on over at the Venting my bean thread? Sheesh! Come on, people! The site itself says this is:

quote:

---

Very Important During The Coffee Roasting Process

---

I so wanna be a hatrack horseman...this place is so special to me! There are so many cool newbies and veterans here, how can anyone not love this place? Let me tell you the names of some of the cool people here.....

Wanna hear who my favorite band is?

Wanna know what's in my fridge? My garbage can?

Betcha can't guess my favorite color! Wait--don't guess! I'll tell you!

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Know what it says about you? It says YOU EAT TOO DAMN MUCH!

So what's Mormonism about, anyway?

Hey! Let's get together before the apocalypse! We can do it in Florida! Or New Jersey! Or Poland! Or Boston! Or Oregon! Or Hell--no wait, that is Oregon...

Onanism!

WHY CAN'T I USE MORE THAN 8 SMILIES?!?!

(((smilies)))

Wanna know which LOTR characters are hot? Huh? HUH? They all are! Except Gimli.

So who enjoys having Spite here, anyway?

What's your favorite smilie?

OOOH! Why don't we get teenagers to tell us their opinions of school!!!!!

OH BOY!

By the way, I want to thank all of the Cards, but especially Orson and Kristine, fopr giving us this cool place to call home!

So who's going to play Ender in the movie?

And does OSC hate gay people or what?

:: (((everyone))) to death, thereby bringing on apocalypse::
 

Edit: Baldar

[This message has been edited by Bob the Lawyer (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

Let me tell you more about myself!

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah family blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah love blah blah blah blah beauty blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah happiness blah blah blah blah blah blah blah wife blah blah blah kids blah blah blah blah blah.

:: Pops open champagne bottle::

:: Pies everyone::

Why didn't I think of that.

You're one of my--um--handmaidens.

wait...that didn't come out right...

Besides somehow managing to spawn Fluff and Apathy, not to mention Onanism, I haven't really done much with my life. But that's only because there's nothing to do. Well, there's always Lust, but she's generally petty busy; never any time for her old pal Boredom.

So, yeah. I'm definitely not too busy for the job.

I edited this because I had nothing better to do.

[This message has been edited by Boredom (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

The bottom of the pit has no bottom. Only a trap door that opens, allowing its hapless victim to continue plunging through the black depths of deeeepppppp deeeeeesssspaaair.

Fear not - there are many to greet you since the raging flames of hell is where we all end up - writhing in eternal torment.

_____________________________________________

I don't know why I am even bothering to try. It's all pretty hopeless. I'll never get to be a horseman. They'll never choose me. Why should they? Afere all, I suck. I hate me. I hate me and I hate them. I hate everyone and everything.

No - that's all wrong. Besides, it takes too much energy. I think I'll just curl up into this lump of misery and ooze out a few tears of abject and pathetic DESPAIRRRRRRRR.

It is a vice, a rot on the name of the internet. It is a mindgame that I, the CEO of America Online, have created to make the lives of internet users everywhere a cesspool of DEEP DESPAIR!!!!! Go ahead now, try to cancel your subscription. You will realize that all effort is futile!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
 

dija kahl??&?^? herd mai naym, hahd mye kname - waija cawl#

::steed kicks over tables, treads on people, cackles uproariously while foaming at the mouth::

eyE dohnt wawnt 2 rehn flauerz laik buttt veree whet

whoseat? dEepe dezpaya? wannah pley%? knaut hidencq tho beekoz yu awlwayz hyde intha sahm playss - pitt ov diep despahr no funn kno fun nooooo funnatall

::sets fire to fallen chairs:: naiss.--. pritty ::sings "prutty fruuty boutee" while sprinkling gasoline on flames and spreading cream cheese on Sarcasm and kissing boredom::

wears hoarz??> horss! hooooorssss! gohin go-in bai bi

::jumps onto steed backwards and rides off, waving with one foot, up and onto the sunset, which starts turning to strawberry mousse as Chaos approaches::

bye baai efriwon

:-D
 

Eventually they dropped me for non-payment.

*ironic smile*

[This message has been edited by Irony (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

It depends. Are you any good at it?

 

[This message has been edited by Irony (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

*waves wrist limply*

It's me, the swishy Sith-ee, with the big pink light saber and the leather cape.

Lust told me about the opening, and I just have to fill it. I love horseys. I love playing horsee too. I'll let all you big boys ride if you let me play.

I have my own big pink stallion named Bruceey. Pick me, oooh Pick me.

Dart Mauve
I put the Sith in Sissssssy.
 

[edit: This is in response to Fluff. I swear, when I started, his was the last post. Damn this one-handed typing.]

[This message has been edited by Onanism (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

Listen, I didn't think I'd have to do this, but...ever hear of Sigmund Freud?

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'm responsible for EVERYTHING...EVERYTHING!

*lays about in seductive poses* *smiles naughtily*

C'mon...you know you love it
 

Now that was true horror.

 

I'll be right back.
 

See the power I have? How can I NOT be a Horseman of the Apocalypse? Anyone we fight will just sprawl out on the ground in the throws of ecstasy.

It's what I do.

[This message has been edited by Lust (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

I admit some people I've lusted after have tried to fight back, but I don't mind.

Smite me Lust. Smite me hard.

Darth Mauve
I put the Sith in Sissssy.
 

*ironic smile*
 

Sarcasm, Spite, and Cynicism just try to cover me up -- but I am always there, hiding below the surface.

I am more powerful than Apathy.

Hello?? I practically invented Britney Spears.

I'm what Ignorance & Want will get when they grow up.

Greed is my puppet.

Gluttony and I work side-by-side. Me first, him after...

Procrastination is way cool. I have nothing to say about him. I'm usually what he uses as an excuse. "Sorry i'm late, i was busy..."

Flamer. What can I say about him? Where there's smoke....

Folly. He and I go *way* back...ever heard of illegitimate children?

Heresy. Evil. Fluff. All these guys -- got 'em wrapped around my finger. My beautiful, sensuous finger.

*smiles wickedly*

*but is still very sexy*

*VERY VERY*

[This message has been edited by Lust (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

Cynicism, shall we choose a deadline for applications? Say, Saturday at midnight, Hatrack time?
 

Am I right, Anti-Chris?

See keyword: PureEvil for more information.
 

And Anti-Chris has a crush on me...didn't we already cover this?
 

I notice you have an AOL homepage. We'll see who is master of whom.
 

If being "indigenous" to Hatrack ISN'T a requirement, why did you point out, quite snarkily:

quote:

---

Apparently, some applicants are having trouble understanding the requirements to be a Hatrack Horseman of the Apocalypse.

---

Hatrack. So you're saying a vice has to be born of Hatrack. Sarcasm and Cynicism were most certainly not.

*preens*

I'm just supposed to sit around and look pretty.

You know you're only angry because you want me.
 

Or maybe Disdain.

[This message has been edited by enjeeo (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

No Lust means No Porn.
No Porn means No $ on the Internet.
No $ on the Internet means No AOL.

Sorry America On Line, but you need Lust.
 

Why limit myself? Surely being Tom is enough.

 

*pats it fondly*

Ah, the good old days...
 

I shall make a bid for one of the coveted spots. I trust I need not justify my qualifications.*

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Edited for legal "clarification".

[This message has been edited by Fine Print (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

So, in effect, AOL is the tool of Lust.
 

Taxation sent an IRS agent to check into it. Before he applies the IRS wants to know if riding to the destruction of the world is deductible.

Conservative just denounced the whole Hatrack rider change. She prefers the original riders from the good old days.

Liberal will only join if you do an environmental impact study of what the new horsemen will be doing. Ending the world is fine, just don't destroy anything natural while your at it.

I heard from Wits agent. He's busy with a three picture deal but suggests sending Lavalamp in his place till he gets here.

I tried contacting Existentialism for you guys. He doesn't think a position exists.

[edited, because Edit-ted wants the job]

[This message has been edited by Dan_raven (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

All hope for Hatrack is about to be lost when Troll's reign free, spreading me across the board. I have shown my face numerous times before, usually in your mail. Sometimes a couple of people have used me to wreak havoc but since they couldn't coordinate their attack with OTHER posters, they just got banned.

Lets face it. The last thing you want to see on your computer, or in Hatrack is Spam.

[This message has been edited by Spam (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

Hey Lust, baby, how about we get together after the auditions. We seem to be made for each other (see keyword "PerfectMatch").

Question for Sarcasm: If Lust and I join forces, can we be considered for the position as one, hideous, two-headed monster of a rider?

[This message has been edited by America Online (edited March 14, 2003).]
 

I tried to push them to expand the field to eight, but they weren't buying it. I mean, I had a doctor's note and everything - it wasn't like I could have interviewed with that, um, *cough, cough* cold...

And then, frustratingly enough, my wagon got a flat on the way to the temple. Wouldn't you know, the one time I really needed it.

So a Saturday deadline? I think I can handle that... but I'm going out of town on Thursday, and I hear there may be weather. I'll try to get it in Friday night before bed... Insomnia and I can work on stuff over AIM.

Um...

...what time Saturday?
 

<closes blinds>
 

Fie! Can you not feel it burn your eyes and hair?

Do you not have eyes with which to see? Ears with which to hear? Noses with which to smell - - - argghhhhhhhhhhh - the smell - NOOOOOOO, stop - quick - the clothespin.

Oh - it is too much. How can I hope to triumph against such contenders as "fine print" - when has anyone EVER read the fine print to any deal they've made? How can frail and puny mortals pass up the seductive wiles of LUST?

*Much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth*

Join me - all of you contenders - what is life but death relived? Join me and suffer not alone . . .
 

Fat ones
long ones
short ones
skinny ones

Guess I'll go eat worms."
 

*phew*

That took a lot out of me, I don't know why.

There's only one way to make it All Better...

And the answer to that?

42.
 

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
 

The same topics, over and over and over . . .
The same opinions, reworded only slightly . . .
The same people doing the same things, because there's nothing else to do . . .

You are no match for me, Addiction. No match at all.
 

'Cause I don't like other people jerking my chain.
 

quote:

---

If Lust and I join forces, can we be considered for the position as one, hideous, two-headed monster of a rider?

---

Is that what they call it these days...?
 

[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 15, 2003).]
 

That was bad.

Does anyone here have the authority to revoke his sarcasm privelages?
 

What low standards we hold our Riders to...

*Waits patiently for Bob to register Death by Laughter*
 

Too many long, lonely nights...

Sarcasm got his Horseman badge by default. Doesn't mean the more powerful of us couldn't de-throne him.

I assure you, it would be a pleasant experience for all concerned....
 

Not any one of us is ever going to make the cut. None of us will ever be a horseman.

We have nothing.

We are nothing.

I think it would be better if I just began to remove the worst parts . . . .

*Extracts rusty serrated knife and places lightly against left ankle, tears running down cheeks sunken and pale*
 

My appearence on Hatrack is justification for at least granting me pestilance as my mount. It must be some sort of sign that the end is near for me to even be looking at Hatrack.

Then again half the people on Ornery consider me to be evil incarnate.
 

http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915125,00.html
 

BUMP!
BUMP!
BUMP!

BUMP!
BUMP!

teehee....

 

For those not chosen, may I suggest staying around as a backup group. You know, "Four Men of the Apocalypse and the pips." type thing? That way if one of them is unable to serve...
 

...or six.

quote:

---

Sarcasm, isn't it right about time for a comment from you about fish riding horses?

---

*gusty sigh*

Not a one of us will ever be chosen, anyhow.

When the end of the world draws near,
nary a horseman will be found
just black, bleak
hopeless
despair.

*Long, drawn-out, wailing sobs - clanking of chains - beating of fists against chest*

Why did I ever bother to apply.
So hopeless
so horrible
so - so - so
final.

*Pathetic slumping of pain-wracked body over table coated with half-smoked cigarettes and lined shot glasses*

*Faint snore*

*pout*

*pout*
 

Which means your lack of it is extra points for you. Ha.
 

It's all part of the ensemble, darling. All part of the ensemble...
 

Also, I think an Indignance should apply, perhaps saying, "HorseMEN?? Well, I guess I don't qualify, since I have *ovaries*." Maybe that would go better under the name Political Correctness, yes, I think that would be a better Apocalyptic Horserider.

Again, my little brain prevents me from applying.

Reminds me, perhaps there should be a "False Modesty" application as well.
 

*the relative order of these possibilities is not in any way conducive to the importance of the aforementioned terms.
 

Also, I'd just like to say that I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get any contestants with names like Cockeyed Optimism. That would've been cool.

[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 17, 2003).]
 

But jexx, if my adoring and faithful fans demand it... then here I am.

Qualifications? *Inadvertantly* starting countless internet flame wars, since others obviously weren't mature enough to handle my responses.
 

Yeah, I'll apply for this lame-*** position, even though it doesn't look like the current horsemen are ever going to actually decide. Maybe you should get 'Humility' to give you some computer lessons.
 

I am the father of Patriotism, Tribalism, Catholisism, Schism and ten thousand other artificial divisions that divide the house of man.

I am the grandfather of War.
War is the father of Pestilence and Famine.
War is the stepfather of Death.
So all the old horsemen are my kin.

Whereever some person or group of people want to set themselves out as above mortal kind, or set some one else out as beneath contempt--they call on me and my children.

They all suffer from Egotism.

You two who are choosing the horsemen are my children as well. Bow down before my power and let me in.
 

ha!
 

But I tease. *in a sexy manner* I only want it over and done with so i can move on to something else.

Unfortunately, this means we'll never actually get around to the Apocalypse...

...certainly not this month. We've got March Madness brackets to fill out!
 

As well one of the Monty Python Animators was canadian, and that would make him decisively evil neh?
 

Besides, you technically have up until the last shot of the championship game to really finish your bracket... or is it until the scores are posted in the paper the next morning... I always forget.
 

I just love this thread. It is such a testimony to Hatrack's intrinsic greatness. All the people on this thread deserve a hug--no, make that cookies. I love you all!

(((everyone)))

I am so impressed by your wit, grace, charm, and overall coolness. And Sarcasm, hooray to you for starting such a great thread! Thanks for posting everyone. It's been a great read.

Only, I wish you could be a teensy bit funnier.

But other than that, you're all simply fabulous. I'm so glad I know you!

And for good measure!!!!
 

I plan on happening with or without the Hatrack Horsemen.

::evil cackle::
 

You can take that last statement however you'd like...
 

Look...it's obvious that none of you could ever exist without me. You cannot sin without evil intentions. You cannot have an Anti-Christ without evil. I am the embodiment of all negativity, I am the father of every applicant in this thread.

In fact, being a horseman would be wasting my talents. I will be the general of the four horseman, and you will like it.
 

I think I've accomplished that in spades.

*poses seductively*
 

And you BETTER be happy that you don't have to share a room with Onanism.
 

Good is dumb.

And one of my offspring advocating for the triumph of good...tell me, sarcasm, where did you go wrong?
 

http://www.jesus21.com/poppydixon/product/pan
ties/panties.html
 

AND in your own thread!!

*is appalled by the shameless self-promotion. One would think you were Jon Boy or something*
 

Ah...WWJD indeed, T, WWJD indeed...
 

quote:

---

My ego's much bigger though.

---

Oops. Did I say that out loud? Oh well.
 

Did you mean YOUR multiple user names or MY multiple user names? Remember: I've been getting hits on a couple different nicks now too.

Not that post count matters or anything.
 

So what are your other usernames? I'm going to guess you've got a couple in this thread, neh?

[This message has been edited by Jon Boy (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

1) FEAR For fear is the mind killer. (Right Leto?)

2) PUBERTY What else is more lothesome, messy, confusing or just yucky.

3) LOVE Sorry Lust, some people confuse you guys, but nothing in the universe is as dangerous, devastating, dominating, degrading, debasing and down-right diabolical as Love. It scary, uncontrollable, overwhelming, and we crave it like a heroin addict craves their junk. When Love rides in, the end of your world is near.

4) Santa Claus You can't fool me. I know Santa Claus is one of the original horsemen. I can just picture it, out of a cloud of dark dust and ash comes a black stallion. Hoisted on his back, in his bright red suit, Santa sings out "HO HO HO, MERRY APOCALYPSE EVERYBODY!!!"

It just send shivers down my spine.
 

Yeah, that's what I thought. This was just a shameless attempt at self-promotion do get you elected as one of the horsemen.
 

quote:

---

Even with multiple usernames, I can't keep up with your rabid posting habits.

---

The Four Hatrack Horsemen of the Apocalypse will be:

Sarcasm
Cynicism
Fluff
TomDavidson

Congratulations to the winners, and thank you to all the applicants. Give yourselves a nice, big pat on the back, 'cause you deserve something for your waste of time and energy.
 

If anyone needs me, I'll be looking for the hardware that keeps the hatrack boards, so I can light it on fire or something.
 

*sigh* oh well, I can take comfort in knowing that I drive 95% of the males on this board.

It's a small consolation, but I'll take what I can get

*poses seductively one last time*
 

i am rubbish at my job and i get drunk.

thats why no one has heard of me.

PLEASE I NEED A JOB!
 

Ain't no email.
 

I think you horsemen should let him in.
 

Edited to include the most fearsome Horseman of all.

[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

[This message has been edited by T_Smith (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

[This message has been edited by Jon Boy (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

Im not so sad that I would make out with myself.
 

I was: gluttony, spam, spammer, Anti-Christ, talking fish, and Folly. I think thats it.
 

I want to know who everyone is, though!
 

quote:

---

The other contestants were little more than Seven Deadly Sin dropouts.

---

Este esta confundido, ¿No?

Bueno, Myrd y Sarcástico, ¿Quién piensan que soy?

Wow, T! You were half the thread!
 

Orson Scott Card!
Err, I mean . . .

Cedrios!
Or maybe . . .

Icarus!
 

And now I need to get back to finishing up my freelance writing contract...

...and filling out my bracket.
 

Ah, sweet Procrastination! You made the decision very hard. If only there had been more openings for Horsemen!

[This message has been edited by Sarcasm (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

Anyone chance a guess at who I was?
 

Oh, okay...

I'm Marilyn Monroe.

PSYCH!

*one seductive pose after another*

[This message has been edited by Lust (edited March 18, 2003).]
 

Who was Fine Print?
 

(whimpers) (looks down at a bottle of whiskey, it looks like its back to the good ol drink)
 

If I had picked the Four, for Hatrack, it would have been Fluff, Procrastination, Addiction, and AOL.

RightWingCrud, LiberalNavelGazing and Religion would come close runnersup though, had they run.

Funniest joke on this thread:
Q: Can I be Ineptitude?
A: Depends. Are you any good at it?

 

I am also Apoc.
 

enjeeo, I agree, that was the funniest joke on the thread.