1. You may only go 5mph above the speed limit, except in special cases which must be decided on a case by case basis. Pregnancy (or soon to be lack of ) is an allowable cause for speeding.
2. Use your turn signal. Always. If you merge in front of someone without it, they have the right to ram you--twice.
3. If you don't wear a seatbelt it's your own problem, but it is a problem.
4. Never try to scare the person sitting next to you, you'll just tip the car over, and then who will look like a fool?
5. Driving drunk is surprisingly similar to murder.
6. If you feel the need to apply make-up going 40mph down a multi-lane road, please do us all a favor and just crash into something that won't die with you.
7. Same goes for reading a book in the car.
8. Only change the radio settings when you are the only car on the road (literally) or stopped.
9. The next person who dumps cigarette ash out the window gets life in prison, or (if you live in Texas) death.
10. If you do get pulled over, turn the car off, put the keys on the dash, and wait for the officer with your hands plainly visible at all times. Also, you can't seduce an officer who's writing you a ticket.
Hobbes
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
I heartily agree with all. But I have a bone to pick with #10. What's this about not seducing officers? Who came up with that?!?! :P
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
It's just common sense. (Only I have the sexy power to seduce them )
Hobbes
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
<-- *Is reminded of Simpson quote* "Of course for saftey reasons, we don't keep the cannon loaded; it's just common sense." (that was from the episode "The PTA Disbands").
Hobbes
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
Compared to my sexy power, your sexy power is worthless. Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Back down blacwolve, no one compares to Hobbes - the sexy beast of the jungle!
Hobbes
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Now, now, children. We can solve this rationally.
I am the queen of ultimate sexiness.
There we go. Problem solved.
-sexy pH
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
:hugs ph in consolation:: All right honey, you are second sexiest.
Hobbes
Posted by flyby (Member # 3630) on :
About #8, I think I should be allowed to because my steering wheel has a thingy to change the stations, but otherwise I don't think you should. I almost got myself in a crash doing that in my old car.
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
My dad designed that type of steering wheel.
About #4--Can you try to scare them with things other than your driving? Like, I don't know, saying weird things?
And #10--Can you seduce the officer before he or she decides to write you a ticket? What about after?
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
<---- Tries to memorize list so she won't screw up when she learns to drive in 8 months.
Posted by esl (Member # 3143) on :
wow :impressed: Your dad invented the change the radio station steering wheel. That's cool! even though I've never heard of it.
Anyway, that's a good question about number ten. If I cared more I would have thought of that.
#4: I remember a book about having fun on a road trip. I read part of it that said you could trick a really gullible person into thinking some radio button was the horn. I don't have the title right now but I know the authors names were in it.
[This message has been edited by esl (edited October 29, 2002).]
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Revised Rule #8: Unless you have radios buttons that are accessible without taking your eyes off the road or removing your hands from the steering wheel, Only change the radio settings when you are the only car on the road (literally) or stopped.
Hobbes
Posted by flyby (Member # 3630) on :
I can accept that and I ratify the change.
Posted by luthe (Member # 1601) on :
keep in mind that if you do succeed in tipping the car over, you will scare the person next to you.
number 2 should read "Use your turn signal, when making a turn. Always. Only a conplete fool drives for miles with it on, never making a turn, shut the damn thing off once you are done turning."
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Modified rule number five
5. Talking on a cell phone while driving is nearly identical to driving drunk which is surprisingly similar to murder.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Revised Rule # 2: Use your turn signal. Always. If you merge in front of someone without it, they have the right to ram you--twice. Smae goes for putting your turn signal on and not turning
No revision for rule # 5, though I'm considering sticking it in another rule.
Hobbes
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
Hobbes, what do you think of these?
"A courtesy wave is required for any driver that lets you merge in front of them"
"The person who sits at "shotgun" is defacto naviguesser. Driver reading a map violates Rule #7."
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
*wishes all busdrivers would obey the revised #2*
Last year I got a whole long yelling lecture from our busdriver when I pointed #2 out...
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Hobbes's Secondary Driving Rules: 1. Using a cell phone while driving is up to you, but don't be surprised if the person next to you side-swipes you.
2. Thou shall wave to he who lets thy car in.
3. A stop sign is not a yield sign.
4. Really.
5. The music is the choice of the driver, but the volume control goes to the "shotgun" passenger.
6. A "Baby on Board" sign is not sufficient reason for ramming the car in front of you.
7. When it's icy out, it doesn't matter how much the person behind you honks, just go whatever speed you fell safe at.
8. 4-Wheel drive != invincibility
9. If you can't decide if you should have your lights on, best two out of three cars (of the next three you see) decides.
10. When the driver tells the passengers to be silent, a dead hush must fall over the car. Period. End of story.
Hobbes
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
Hobbes, please take out #2. My only crash-a minor fender-bender, was when I thought I was safe to wave and did, so didn't have enough hands to correct my turn. Only wave if you've been driving for 4 years and it's not busy and its not night
Posted by Maethoriell (Member # 3805) on :
What if your mom is against rap and System of A Down, and theyjus thappen to play on the radio station?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
How 'bout "You should not adjust the radio, talk on the cell phone, read, etc. UNLESS you are, in your expert estimation, a good enough driver to do so without crashing, in which case you may do up to but not more than two of these."
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well it's still your choice, you just might not want to choose them
All right, I certainly don't want to advocate anything harmful on my safe driving rules thread: Revised Rule #2: Thou shall wave to he who lets thy car in. Unless thy hands are not free to wave, or if thou are not 100% sure of thy driving skills or driving conditions.
Hobbes
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Icarus, not a chance
Hobbes
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Crap, I break that rule all the time. I have six presets and change the station when a commercial comes on to a different preset. Does it count if you don't have to LOOK at the radio controls?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
If it affects your ability to make sudden changes in your direction (i.e. avoid an animal that suddenly darts onto the road) then no. I'm not sure how it would be possible, but if it doesn't do that, then you're allowed.
Hobbes
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
What about scratching my ?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
No scratching your .
[EDIT: yep, I'm lacking in sleep ]
Hobbes
[This message has been edited by Hobbes (edited October 29, 2002).]
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
quote:10. When the driver tells the passengers to be silent, a dead hush must fall over the car. Period. End of story
I sooo agree. I've a friend who doesn't understand that, and keeps talking while I'm trying to concentrate. Grrr. I need to yell at her sometimes.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
11) Reading a novel while crawling along with rush hour traffic will make it less likely that you'll succumb to roadrage
12) On cross-country motorcycle trips, a sleeping bag mounted between the handlebars makes a good pillow for the occasional nap while still piling on the miles.
13) A 10inch flatscreen mounted on the dashboard is much better for gameplay than a cellphone display on the steering wheel. Besides, tilting your head sufficiently to follow the steering wheel during turns is hampered by the seatbelt.
14) When making-out while driving, occasionally open an eye to make sure that there are no police cars nearby. Making an officer jealous is apt to get you a ticket.
15) Duct-tape any roadkill to the inside of the engine-compartment hood. After a few hours mmm...mmm...mmm them's mitey good eatin's.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
This thread is great! I got a speeding ticket last week, and I was this (*holds up fingers*) close to crying right there. I should've. Maybe he would have just given me a warning. No, probably not. There's not much of an excuse for 18 over the limit.
Posted by Emperor Palpatine (Member # 3544) on :
Somebody's having a bit too much fun bumping threads.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
<---wondering if she should rescind the offer to Hobbes for the OSC road trip based on the fact he might not be able to stand my CA/Chicago style driving. AJ
(though I do have the cool radio station steering wheel buttons)
Posted by Audeo (Member # 5130) on :
One should not drink hot beverages while driving because it obstructs vision and if spillage occurs may cause erratic driving and further inattention to the roadway. Also a driver should not attempt to find something on the floor or to hand something to someone sitting behind them. This causes both a lack of visual contact with the road and inadverdent swerving.
Posted by Tullaan (Member # 5515) on :
Having 4-wheel drive may help you get places in the snow, but doesn't help you stop any better.
Posted by Wetchik (Member # 3609) on :
quote: There's not much of an excuse for 18 over the limit.
I just got a ticket going 68 on CA-17, and it was on a section that was 50mph.
I just sent in my traffic school completion form.
Here is my list (some might be CA only): 1. No going out of turn at all-way stop intersections. 2. No slamming on the gas when somebody tries to pass you. 3. No tailgating. 4. No flipping people off. 5. No going UNDER the speed limit on a bright sunny day with light or no traffic. 6. No blocking the right hand turn lane just because you are in a big car, move more to the left so cars don't have to wait for the green just becuase you're too much a selfish brat. 7. No speeding up and slowing down when there is nobody in front of you. Use cruise control if you have it, if not, learn how to keep steady pressure on the gas pedal. 8. No blasting rap at 1 in the morning, especially if I'm working later in the morning and have to get up at 3am 9. No parking so close to the driver's side of the car that I can't get in my car. I keep a digital camera in my car for this reason and send it in it to traffic courts. It works. Really. 10. No blocking cars from getting out of an exit only right after merging.
That's the ones that bug me most. Posted by Jill (Member # 3376) on :
Wetchik- I especially like rules 3 and 6.
And PLEASE no reading behind the wheel. I once saw a bus driver do that. It was pretty scary.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Hobbes, you're great. Here in France we have some great problem with mortality because of cars. We should put your ten rules in all schools and make every student able to say it by heart.
[ October 22, 2003, 04:26 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Dude, I can totally drive safely with my knees. Heck, I can parallel park with my knees.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
I'm with PC. But I'd be happy if the crappy drivers would take Hobbes' advice.
My only rule: Don't make me turn my cruise control off.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Wow it's been a while.
Frisco and PC, get off of the road!
Hobbes Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
I'm with Frisco and PC . . . but rather than have cruddy drivers follow these rules, I would say that all drivers for whom these rules are a necessity should be taken off the streets!
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
My additions to the rules:
1. Get that stupid toy dog off of your lap! (Man, I hate to see someone try to drive while their poodle hangs its head out the driver's window.)
2. If you want to tailgate, then I get to flick anything I want to in the airstream over my car to stick stuff to your windshield: cigarette butts, boogers, half a Big Mac.
3. If we all get stuck in a traffic jam on the intestate, do NOT start driving up the shoulder.
4. If you are on a bicycle, have a brain and act like you are moving unprotected through traffic on a little metal framework. I'm doing my best to give you room and consideration, you do your part. After all, it's you who is the most at risk.
5. Make your kids sit down, shut up and put on a seatbelt.
6. Clean out your car once in a while. If your car is piled to the gunwhales with old newspapers, Wendy's Bags and the detritus of a disorganized life, I don't wanna be sideswiped when a rat jumps at you from it's hiding place in the passenger seat.
7. Don't read when you drive. Ever.
Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
What's that sign say?
Well, I wouldn't want to distract myself, so I won't bother toAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!
x_x
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
hehehe, oh yeah...
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
You know who are even worse than people who don't signal and turn or signal and don't turn? People who signal right and go left. They're the ones I hate.
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
If you are not driving at least the speed limit in the right lane, I am allowed to tailgate. If you are not going at least 5 over in the left lane, I am allowed to tailgate. If there is a middle lane and I am unable to get over to the left lane, I am allowed to tailgate if you are not going around 5 over as long as I make every effort to get over.
I am allowed to read a novel in traffic jams on the interstate, because if I miss a few seconds it will not matter. I am not allowed to do it in rush hour traffic jams, because a few seconds might make a difference to the car behind me.
If you pull in front of me without a turn signal, you will get tailgated. I do not require 5 blinks; I do not even require 2 blinks. One is sufficient. Zero is not.
There are a few streets in Lexington that the righmost lane on one side of an intersection ends shortly after you cross the intersection. If you live here, you ought to know about them. If you do not, they are still labeled. If you cannot get over, do not expect me to let you over if your plates show you are from my county or the surrounding counties. If you and I are at the front, you have 1.5 seconds to get at least half a car length in front of me. If you do not, I have right of way, and I will not slow down, nor will I feel sorry if you have to slam on your brakes and let everyone pass you.
My truck is more than 5 years old, with minor cosmetic damage that is still too expensive to fix. It has over 100,000 miles on it. If I can let you merge, I will. If there is not room for me to get into the left lane, I will not. Exceptions to this are very old cars that cost significantly less than my truck does, and ambulances/firetrucks with their lights/sirens on.
Racing is illegal, and they are putting larger and larger engines in the new cars these days anyway, so I will likely rev my engine at the light and let you blast off and look like an idiot should you try to race me. If I wanted to race you, I would drive something very fast, and get those little stickers that say "equipped with NOS" plastered all over it. Note the absence of those stickers, as well as the fact that powerful engine or no, I drive a truck.
If for some reason I am feeling suicidal and do decide to race you, or as is more likely my brother is driving, you are not cool if you win, nor do I suck. However, should you lose, while I am still not cool, you really suck.
It is only legal to turn right on red if there are not cars coming, and space for me to turn right. Honking will not change this fact. If it did, I would probably be honking as well.
You may well need to get onto an onramp that I am blocking but able to turn onto. However, if I am blocking it for you, that means that I am unable to move in the direction I desire, which is obviously not onto the onramp. Most likely I am already aware that I am blocking it, and while honking at me will ensure this, it will not make me take a turn I do not want to take.
If an ambulance is coming the opposite way, is clearly in sight, and cannot possibly turn left, there is no reason to stop for it.
If an ambulance is coming the opposite way, is clearly in sight, and trying to turn left into the hospital, you need to stop for it.
I agree with your pro-legalization stickers, your "F*** the Police" stickers, and even at some rate your overly simplistic "No blood for oil" stickers. I do not have sympathy if the "pig" shows no mercy when he writes your ticket, however, and frankly if I pass you while in such a predicament, I will laugh.
If you are a pedestrian, you do not always have right of way. Even if you get a sympathetic jury or a good lawyer, you are probably the one who needs significant medical treatment. If your family is the one suing, you are probably dead. My life might suck, but yours is over. Act accordingly. I am not trying to hit you, in fact I will try to stop, but if you are jaywalking and emerge from between two parked SUVs or some such five feet in front of me, there is little to nothing I can do. Nor will I put myself or other innocent drivers at risk; if there is no empty lane or other safe place to swerve into I will not swerve into danger. If it is raining, not only is my visibility lessened, swerving will likely do neither of us any good even if there is an empty lane available. So maybe you should walk the extra thirty yards to a crosswalk, and wait for the light to change.
[ October 22, 2003, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: Danzig ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*is very glad she doesn't drive the same roads as Danzig*
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
Emperor Palpatine: yep!
rule #11: I someone is driving fast and hopping lanes, get in front and drive right next to another car so they can't pass you. It really ticks 'em off! Posted by Wetchik (Member # 3609) on :
quote: rule #11: I someone is driving fast and hopping lanes, get in front and drive right next to another car so they can't pass you. It really ticks 'em off!
I enjoy doing that to cars that drive fast, but if you're going 50 on an interstate, don't expect me to be understanding.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
See, I drive fast, but not because I'm in a hurry. After having that sort of thing done to me, I'm likely to pass you, get in front of you, slam on my brakes, and do the same exact thing only 15 MPH slower. And for twice as long. And hold down my windshield wiper fluid button.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Hobbes, I dunno about the not trying to scare the person sitting next to you. it all depends on how you do it. For instance, if you are driving your sister somewhere for the first time, the roads are completely empty and you scream without moving the wheel at all, it's a pretty safe way of scaring them with little risk. Or if you drive up to pick up a friend wearing a bike helmet and hand her one telling her your parents said you had to wear them in the car-that's a perfectly safe way of scaring her!
Posted by Wetchik (Member # 3609) on :
Granted Frisco, I'm not one to go the speed limit, but if a car is going 90-100mph and is all over the freeway, I don't think they deserve any kind of courtesy.
I just want to keep my cruise control on when I'm on the freeway. If there is anything you can do on the freeway that will tick me off, it's making me turn off my cruise control.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
Yeah, I don't usually follow the speed limit, but I've had to lately.
And it's a really, really BAD idea to scare the driver. It's ok if the driver is scaring someone, but you don't want to scare the driver. Recently my grandmother was in 2 car wrecks. My cousin was riding with her one day, and when she was making a turn she yells "Oh my gosh! Look out!!!". She scared her and made her slam on the brakes. It was a good thing no one hit her.
Posted by cubusdriver (Member # 5846) on :
Personally, I think a rule that has been left out is don't use cruise control while driving. Yes, it may be easier because you don't have to keep your feet on the gas petal the entire time you are driving down the highway, but at the same time it also causes people's feet to be further away from the brake petal, making their reaction time slower. Also, cruise control means that you have less to pay attention to while you are driving, which from my experiences makes me less attentive of my driving.
By the way, most bus drivers are fantastic drivers with lots of experiences, although I will admit that I have been a passenger on city buses before where the drivers are either reading or eating food while they drive, neither which is normally allowed.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
Don't blame the cruise control. Blame the bad driver. Now, using cruise on snow or ice is phenomenally retarded, but that's a different story.
Cruise allows you to pay more attention to actual driving by relieving you of the duty of looking down at the speedometer every so often.
And unless one is sitting indian-style in the seat, the time difference in getting to the brake pedal is negligable, if any. Faster, possibly, when the cruise is on, because your eyes will be on the road and not checking your speed.
If you think that having less to worry about makes driving more dangerous, do you find automatics to be more dangerous than standards?
Posted by cubusdriver (Member # 5846) on :
Actually, I think that automatics are safer than standards, primarily because many drivers are not capable of driving standard transmission vehicles at the same performance level as automatic transmission vehicles.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
I got my liscence on Friday!
*goes out to break all the rules* Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
*runs out to save mailbox* Posted by Wetchik (Member # 3609) on :
) is an allowable cause for speeding.
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