*stretches, as if waking up from a long nap*

Well, that was a nice break. Time to get back to work, though. This place is likely to get busy really soon. I hope Jenny, Fael, Olivet, and the other wenches come give me a hand soon.

*picks up broom and gets to work*
 

Did I miss anything?
 

*goes off to make new nick*
 

Well, there's nothing for it but to get it done.

*tucks up her skirts and gets on about cleaning the place...*
 

What should I do?
 

You can start by wiping all the dust off the surface of the bar.

I'm going to head down to the wine cellar - before we closed our doors at the end of last season some rowdy dwarves must have gotten down there and broken several casks. I've got a lot of work to do down there.
 

::fills bathtubs, leaves out strawberry-scented bubblebath::

I never liked that stuff.

Now...where are those hobbits?

Ni!
 

*starts dusting*

[This message has been edited by Kama (edited September 30, 2002).]
 

*Grabs basket and sets out in search of mushrooms.*

With all the lovely rain we've been having, there should be plenty.
 

And do you have any Old Toby for me to light up?
 

*sighs* It does feel good to be back.
 

Ahhh, its good to be back

::sets up a game of Pool::

Now where's that Old Toby?
 

I want the barracks rooms clean with bunks made up. The common room needs sweeping, and if you're going to play pool, Jebus, keep the room neat!

*grabs a broom and starts sweeping*

~Jane~
 

My room is in pretty good shape, but I really need to scrub out my bathtub.

Olivetta, dear - are you still pleased with your accomodations? Your Bed is in good shape, and in your position as head of hobbit hospitality you also rate a private bath and sitting room.

Wenches, I'll be inspecting the other rooms as I get around to it, and we'll update accomodations if need be.
 

Vana, where are you wenchling? You need to get up and clean the dust out of the corners in your room There's cobwebs dear.

Fael - I know I don't have to tell you that you need to pick up all the drawing materials you scattered around your room We all appreciate your artistic abilities, but if you're not careful you'll spill paint on the rug!

There are some empty, unclaimed rooms upstairs as well, I'll be offering them up as soon as I can take inventory of all we have available.
 

P.S. Anyone who wants to know where Vana and Lime are registered, please email me.
 

Ah, the old stomping grounds.

*raids the cellar*
 

::ties dustrag to bottom, sits on bar::

Give us a push?
 

Tammy chilled to the bone was clinging to the neck of a hired horse, rolling off the poor animal she fell insensibly into the yard dust.

She'd escaped. Found a safe haven.

Granted, epic adventure did not come naturally to her, she'd really just come from over the hill, she was just bored and needed the companionship of the jolly wenches at the tavern

She looked up, feeling a little shaken by her hasty landing, jumped up, bypassing a particulary treacherous patch of muddy muck...

Stood in front of the surprised Wenches, pushed her hair out of her eyes and leaned on a broom that was outside the inn.

"Aye, lassies, an'its a fyne job o'cleanin' we've yet to get done," said Tammy happily, "Won't th' town folk be suprised when they see that I've joined ye!"

"Ready when you are".

 

We're always ready and willing to accept a new wench into the fold.

*pushes ladyday*

Ok, you have fun here, and I'll go to find some fresh linens for my bed.
 

Ah, the satisfaction of a job well done!

I'd better check on the barracks now...but first I ought to check on the ale...make sure it still tastes okay.
 

"Amazing i'tis...this way of cleaning ye have"...works like a charm"

Dust on dust off.

Ah...might I have a bit of the strong stuff?

edited because some of these wenches can type fast.

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited October 01, 2002).]
 

What strong stuff?
 

*runs upstairs to the Lilac Room*

*stops, amazed to see it clean and fresh, with evidence of some decorating going on*

*runs back downstairs*

Olivet, did you do that? Are you cleaning my room for me? You're the best!

*hugs Olivet*

I'll be in and out a little bit today and tomorrow. But after that, well...I won't see you again until the 14th or so. I'll even bring pictures soon after!

*skips out, smiling happily*
 

--xnera
 

:Bumping horse ride & cleaning into the wee hours will exhaust any decent wench.

A nap after a good bath. Where does a wench bathe around here...mushrooms & bubbles sound grand.

Hi.

Ni!
 

*yawnnnn!*

*scratches self crudely, starts pot of coffee*

*thumps ceiling of basement*

Shaddap up there! Too early! My head!

Stupid broads...
 

We have three different style baths upstairs. One can bathe in one of the double tub bath rooms or in a single tub bath for those that like their privacy. Then, there is always the toe-to-toe bath, those can be fun. Hobbits like them especially.

As for rooms, we'll be assigning rooms probably later today. But, if you need a nap there are guest rooms available for your use.

[This message has been edited by ElvenWench (edited October 01, 2002).]
 

my this is good pipe-weed .. and what better entertainment than to see such fine and dutiful wenches about their domestic tasks

will there be any taking care of men-folk in this here tavern?
 

Better go take care of ::hic:: my favorite room in the tavern, the game room. Did someone say the ::hic:: pool table needs new felt? And I'm sure my makeshift jello wrestling ring is about ::hic:: finished by now, better take it down before someone gets hurt!

First I should check out the ::hic:: wine. I hear that's supposed to help with ::hic:: hiccups.

[This message has been edited by ladyday (edited October 01, 2002).]
 

::psst, ElvenWench-I already did my room...can't post...must work on 1000th post...::

[This message has been edited by ladyday (edited October 01, 2002).]
 

.. scratches head and wonders what kind of wenches these be .. if not the serving men kind *shrug*
 

The wenches are busy getting the tavern ready for the hobbits, elves, and rangers. The occasional lord of Gondor as well.

ladyday, I know you're busy, dear, but would drop by your tower room and make sure everything is in order.
 

.. I myself am a noble Lord .. I do not come here in jest! I am one educated in the Herb-lore of the Shire .. and was well acquainted with Tobold Hornblower of Longbottom in the days of Isengrim the second .. I am from beyond the sea .. how Old Toby came by the weed is known to me ..which none else knows .. I smoke the finest Longbottom leaf there is. I have smoked with dwarves, rangers and wizards .. throughout time .. I am he who is not named in the anals of the Fellowship .. but I am he who was ever present.

*bows*
 

you draw a fine pint m'lady

.. am better known in some parts as Lord Skyweir .. but Lord will do

You know, I like the Ghost of Boromir and all, but... everytime he comes in, he wants ale. And then it's nothing but mop, mop, mop until he decides to leave, since he can't really drink 'til he passes out, now, can he?

*Puts Boromir's favorite barstool in a large, galvanized bucket.*

*Hopes he won't notice.*
 

I'll just dust the mantlepeice, here, and stir up the fire...

Ni!

 

How long have I been lolly gagging in the tub? The water is freezing.

:Quickly dresses:

Hurries downstairs...grabs her broom and acts like she's been sweeping fo ev a.

This little lady could sure use some hiccup prevention right now.

:scurries behind the bar:

:waited all day for a real room assignment:
 

:looks around for another more experienced wench:

Nervously eyes the stranger....and continues to stinkin sweep........hoping to get assigned another job soon!
 

Oh no...if you're going to be one of us, you share the tv, sleep in the barracks, and eat the excellent food WE get. No special stuff.
 

:enormous sigh of relief: Scary stranger gone.

Epic adventure is one thing. Sweeping all day is a thankless job.

WENCHES where art thou? Ms. Mae? Be ye a wench?
 

Special treatment?..Not 'til you go to Kinko's..hehe...j/k
 

*drags in iMac and two joysticks*
 

Be gone ya varmit.

Drags the lass back in the tavern by her collar.

Hands her a broom....and sits down to rest.

 

Sorry Sir Human, Quake Arena is not in my arsenal of freetime taker upers.

[This message has been edited by T_Smith (edited October 01, 2002).]
 

*tickles him*

*strolls away innocently*

~Jane~
 

ho ho .. hmmph!! .. what little imp did that??

checks room narrowly - spys Jane X strolling away feigning innocence ..

ahh tis that foamy imp [oxymoron of all oxymorons!]

*ponders suitable comeuppance*
 

:shakes hands off on dress:

There...that outta take care of that lil un.
 

I cant wait any longer!!! Arrrrg.

*picks up a sword and starts slashing about*
 

*goes into the kitchen to start cooking up yumpcious food to celebrate*
 

*picks up an ax and starts cutting wood*
 

I'm still sorting through rooms - I'll get to it Tammy, dear. Don't worry. IN the meantime grab a guest room and crash when necessary.
 

I think maybe I'll go check out one of those guest rooms. Anyone at all?
 

I have bairn who are older than these wenches by several generations .. would you adress Gandalf likewise?? I have lived eons of time and never been so disrespected!

begone ratscallion .. or I will turn you into the toad it would seem you are!!

To you ...oh aged one.
 

Bravo! Now fill my cup with the sacred Dr Pepper elixer.
 

.. *returns glare to the Human* .. then sighs ..

'come lad .. it is lad is it not?

.. sit and warm yourself and let bygones and misdeeds be bygones indeed

.. no need to further disharmony in this fine place .. I await the Fellowship .. long and true! .. sit if you will and we will share tales of great renown .. discover adventures of great worth to Middle Earth and all who live here.

[This message has been edited by Skyweir (edited October 02, 2002).]
 

.. they will pass this way anon .. tis victorious return .. tis not the maiden voyage that way lays me.

..patience .. you will see more than is your hope to ..

.. I will warm myself and take nourishment before moving on .. I have one last task to attend to a'fore that day draws nigh.
 

Anyway I brought this fresh baked bread for the tavern….

I guess I’ll give Lord Skyweir some. He does talk so funny.

Tammy would you be a dear and carry this bread to him for me?

Boy have I missed this place

All we need now is Bob to set up his chain mail shop.

 

Mistress Jenny! Elven Wench! I found some lovely mushrooms that should delightthe wee members of the Fellowship.

*makes herself a quick elevenses as she puts the mushrooms in the kitchen.*.*
 

Well, dear wenches, I must be off. I have a wedding to prepare for.

I believe I have time for a glass of wine before I leave, though.

*pours herself a glass of port*

I'm going to miss you all while I'm gone. I do hope I don't miss too much. But, when it comes right down to it, I don't think I'll be terribly lonely. I'll sure have some catching up to do, though!

*smiles brightly*

I'll see you all in a week and a half! Bye, everyone!
 

Health and Long Life to you, my friends!
 

~May your life be merry and your enjoyment complete~

*throws rose petals*
 

I just learned Eight Days A Week on my guitar. Expect a LOTR parody soon.
 

umm...need some hobbitish music?
 

:: tunes and starts playing a quick little jig ::

 

*waits for music with everyone else*
 

*sips wine...picks wayward rose petals out of hair*
 

Tammy sings along...

~Alas my love you do me wrong, to cast me off...lalalal...

when i have loved you ohhhh so long...delighting in your company.....~
 

*Tune to Eight Days A Week - Beatles*
V1
Oooo I want my precious, guess you know its true.
Ive been trying from the beginning, to get it away from you.
Hate me, despise me, hate me, despise me
I dont care what you do to me, as long as I get it back.

V2
Love it with a passion, I want to put it on
Once its on my finger, you will think I'm gone
Hate me, despise me, hate me, despise me
I dont care what you do to me, as long as I get it back.

Chorus
Want to put it on, and di-i-isappear
Want to put it on, and get the heck out of here

V2
Chorus

*another horrible parody, smirk*
 

Wigg the Wizard will be taking the signups.

And to all the wizards or other bachelors

We have a lot more fun in the cellar, without the general anal-retentiveness of the wenches who are upstairs. Down here we have PS2, Gamecubes and the old fashioned standups. Tonight we have half-racks of ribs for all those who hang out for a while.

**Turns on NFL blitz**

Who's in?
 

Zgator, c'mon down. Every man loves our studly Wizard Bachelor Pad. We've got every kind of manly alcohol available, plus video games, sports, and occassional strippers!

Too bad chances of getting an actual Hatrack Wench to participate in our upcoming contest are very slim...Passion over here will be getting a temporary name change, though, never fear. Bwahaha
 

<belches loudly>

Aaaaahhhh. This is how life should be. Have one of the wenches send me down a pint of ale. Once I lubricate the brain, I'll come up with a good wizard name.
 

*aside to zgator* The Wenches upstairs are a little stuck up, sorry. They refuse to serve the homeboys down here in the Wizard Bachelor Pad. OUR wenches, on the other hand, are much more agreeable.

::downs a mug of ale, flipping between ESPN Classic and the Man Show::
 

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited October 03, 2002).]
 

*unloads armfuls of strewing herbs for the floor*

Thank ye, wenches, for cleaning up this place fine. I do hear that the Fellowship is returning soon, for succour from their labors.

This time, I want no dwarves neglected, you hear? They're rough on the outside, but you'll remember that they pay in gems...

Honorary Wenches, you be nice, 'cause I hear Eowyn will be coming in with the Riders of Rohan. No "Wormtongues" around here! Help her get over that silly infatuation with Aragorn, since he'll be busy getting bubble baths.

Oh, yes, and there will be Ents to entertain as well. Oi! We are going to be busy!

*Goes out to dig treats for the Ents from the garden*

(screw the 1000th-I'll be around to do a 2000th)

And Ents! ::gasps dramatically:: Ooooh, I do like Ents-when are they coming?

And do they eat? I thought they needed Entwashes. Could we rig some sort of waterfall and pond in the garden? That would be just lovely!

::wanders down to the Wizard's Pad to see if they want to help::

Oh, really! Blow up dolls with "Wench" written across their chests? And you give them names? What levels will you sink to next?
 

We did our best to prepare the tavern for the fellowship's arrival, but I for one am relieved that you, the original tavernmistress, is here to oversee things.

I think we may have to consider cutting off the basement - things might calm down if we refuse to send down any more alcohol.
 

Where the heck did that come from, anyway?

Anyway, Saruman started out as Saruman the White, then became Saruman of many colors when he turned evil. I forget why...some evil reason, probably. Though I suppose it's possible he just decided white didn't suit him.
 

Some people have weird minds when it comes to the word "servants"..
 

Jenny, do you think it would be okay if I made a little place for my pet tortoise in the Garden? She's very friendly and well behaved. She also tunnels, so she may be of some use to the tavern. And perhaps she could represent us in the Middle Earth Fair Turtle Races-she's quite fast!
 

Sister Wenches, I feel I must share my past.

When I was a maiden wench, my name was "Orangeblossom Bulge of Great Smials".

When I married I became, " Orangeblossom Moss of Lake-by-Downs".

Alas...In comtemplating upon marriate to my current love, I find my name would become " Orangeblossom Goodbody of Brockenborings".

My good sister Daisy Loamsdown and my mother Lobelia Bulge of Great Smials have been so kind while I come to serve at this great tavern. They've taken it upon them selves to watch my daughter Daisy Moss of Lake-by-Downs and my son Meriadoc Moss of Lake-by-Downs. While my son Popo Moss of Lake-by-Downs is off with his father Mungo Moss of Lake-by-Downs.

*kisses to all*

Orange Blossom

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited October 03, 2002).]
 

Now, if I am needed, I shall be up in my room, sipping a nice chilled glass of wine, and reading a book. I've had a trying day and I think I shall relax a bit.
 

Satyagraha
 

quote:

---

*grabs sky* Listen to just one thing...look all you want, but hands off, okay? This is a place to relax and talk about LotR, NOT to pick up chicks. There's a seperate thread for that.

---

<--is most definitely not a chick.

Wench, yes. Chick, no.

~Jane~
 

Olo Chubb-Baggins of Pincup

And apparently this girl I like at school is my sister or close relative:

Prisca Chubb-Baggins of Pincup.

--xnera
 

Ladies, you ain't seen nothin' yet. *schemes with Saruman and other studly Wizard Bachelors*
 

Good thing we've got 20-foot ceilings...

**yells upstairs**

Hey ladies, we've got trampolines down here!

Going away to Charleston, West Virginia....

I"ll miss you dreadfully.

Miss Me!
 

Can you get me a pint before you leave?

Have fun.
 

*claps hands at Mistress Jenny's return*
 

Greedy greedy Billie

[This message has been edited by ladyday (edited October 04, 2002).]
 

~Jane~
 

And I got nothin'.
 

Here are some available rooms, and I'll get some more ready if we need them. Have no fear, JaneX and Tammy.

Heron Room - TAKEN by kwsni

Blue Room

Orchard Room - TAKEN by xnera

Peaches & Cream- TAKEN by JaneX

Vaulted Room- TAKEN by Maeth

Sherlock Holmes

Victorian Villa

[This message has been edited by ElvenWench (edited October 05, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by ElvenWench (edited October 05, 2002).]
 

hmm. what happened to Lord Sky?
I can shoot a bow now! Shall I go hunt some game? Would any hobbits like some rabbit?

edit: can I have the heron room?

Ni!

[This message has been edited by knightswhosayni! (edited October 04, 2002).]
 

How about the Wizards and Warlocks Federation? We should be OK calling it the WWF.
 

Legolastounding.
Faramiraculous.
Sarumanticulous.
Aragorpendous.
Eomeriffic.
Arwenderful.

Hmmm... maybe I'll think of more.
 

The Balrog is here! AIEEE! Somebody shoo him down to the Wizard's Basement.
 

*loves trampolines*
 

*locks them*

I do love trampolines....
 

::wipes sweat off brow::

I think he's in a good mood tonight-let's just keep those cold beers coming and not mention that whole incident with Gandalf. He might still be sore about their...differences.

Wizards, I'm sure you'll have fun with our new guest-he's quite the seasoned bachelor.

And Jenny, I am delighted Sasha the Tortoise can stay! She'll just love it here. Thank you, and all the other wenches, for giving her such a warm welcome.
 

Good one.
 

Help!
 

Make him eat this, it'll make him feel more up.
 

Who knew Balrog, underneath that fiery exterior, was a sensitive guy?

Perhaps we should ease up on the beer for a while, and just give him some nice, cold ice water with a twist of lemon.

~Jane~
 

:jumps on the Sherlock Homes Room bed:

:whips out measuring tape for remodeling. :

And change the name of that silly, flowery room!
 

Silly dame, I didn't say she didn't have the right to name her faux-Sherlock Holmes room whatever she liked, just that it was entirely inappropriate and therefore she should change it in the interests of reason and accountability...but who am I kidding? When do broads take those virtues into account, anyway?

You know, I think I will go back to the WBP. Much more fun. However the other Wizard Bachelors have asked me to ask you a question: could you and your legs c'mon the trampoline for a jump or two?
 

And my legs are none of your business. (heh, that sounded funny) And trampolines make me sick.

I could, however, put on a mini skirt and go play some pool

[edited because capital i looks like L]

[This message has been edited by Kama (edited October 06, 2002).]
 

~Jane~
 

rabbit stew, anyone?

ni!
 

that should give me the pick me up I've been hoping for

I must've fallen asleep after eating that nice big chunk of bread .. in this comfy chair by the fire ..

(not really)
 

I'll go get some wine to go with that stew.

*wonders whether rabbit is best served with chardonnay or cabernet savignon*

*decides to take the middle road and brings up a nice blush zinfandel*
 

::throws down the ten of spades on the hearts table::

Bring 'er out!
 

Yummy!

Another glass of wine please.

*looks around and waits for wine*

Oh...I'm sorry, I can pour that myself. I'm a serving wench? Right? I keep forgetting that.
 

Themselves..?
 

quote:

---

You might be a Redneck Hobbit if...
Your maps and rhune-documents have Miller stains on them.
The "precious" that was really in your pocket was a confederate flag cigarette lighter.
Your mithril is rusted from your arm pit sweat.
Your traveling songs that you and your companions sing are about dragons, elves and monster truck rallies.
Your dwarf friends have tobacco stains in their beards.
You were kicked out of Tom Bombadil's house for commenting on Goldberry's "rack."
You lost the Ring in in your wifes back hair.
You drive around in your pick-up truck and beat up Stoors on the weekends.
The Nazgul refuse to pursue you because they don't like to associate with "those kinds of people."
You broke Gandalf's staff from hitting your wife in the face with it.
You saw a preview of the WWF Wrestling Championship in Galadriel's mirror.
You distracted Attercop and his pals by throwing them some SPAM.
You knocked the Barrow Wight out by hurling your dentures at his face.
You ask the singing Elves at Rivendell if they know any Merle Haggard.
You put out cigarette butts in your foot hair.
The garden gnome on your front lawn is really a statue of your father.
You swear to Gandalf that you will only use the Ring for beer runs.
You just had to paint flames on the sides of Bill Ferny's pony. You told Strider, "It might cheer up the poor creature."
At the feast at Elrond's house you make a toast, "The Shire will rise again!"
You use the mirror of Galadriel as a spittoon.
You don't understand why everyone dislikes Gollum so.
When the old wizard pulls up with a wagon full of packages, you think they're marked "G" for "grits."
Your mailbox is shot through with so many holes that the Shire Post hobbit just wedges your letters between the crossbow bolts.
You've used the pin on your elven brooch as a toothpick.
You've ever hogtied a person with elven rope.
As a practical joke, your buddy keeps calling you "goblinslayer" when you are captured by Uruks.
You've ever used lembas as bait.
Your wife chained your pony to a post to keep you from going drinking at the Green Dragon, but she forgot about your old pet deer.
You've had to ask a wizard to help you open your back door because you got home at 2am and locked yourself out.
You get along really, really well with Beornings.
You weren't afraid to take a barrel down the River Running because you and your cousins used to go white water rafting on the Brandywine.
There's a wain up on cinder blocks in front of your family smial.
Your idea of an "ornamental waistcoat" is any T-shirt without any holes in the armpits.
You can describe the difference between fox and thrush... by taste.
You've ever read comic books by the light of an Elvish blade.
You've ever had to pawn one of Bilbo's birthday presents to bail one of your relatives out of the Lockholes.
Your bar tab at the Prancing Pony goes back three or more generations.
At the Hall of Fire in Rivendell, your song is the only one that Elves can clearly distinguish from that of other mortals.
An Ent tried to stomp you even AFTER he heard you talking. (my favorite)
You tried to build a moonshine still using some ruined equipment at Isengard.
Saruman calls the House of Eorl "a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor amid the dogs"... and you can't figure out why that's an insult.
Some Big Folk who've met you sent King Elessar a thank-you note for banning them from the Shire.
You mixed a flagon of ent-draught and Galadriel's entire box of tree food under the Party Tree and now it's half the size of Telperion.
When Wormtongue almost beaned you with the Palantir, you tried to charge the pitcher's mound.
After being rescued from Mount Doom, you pulled a few of Gwaihir's tail feathers as souvenirs for your family.
You're the wiseguy who sneaked out in the dead of night to affix the bumpersticker that reads "I Brake for Balrogs" on the back of Gandalf's cart.
You get tears in your eyes when you hear a Nazgûl scream because its voice reminds you of Mom.
Farmer Maggot's dogs refuse to track you because your smell makes them sick.
You call Boromir "Bo".
The trailer park where you live is situated in the Dead Marshes.
Orcs are offended by your language.
Saruman refused to use you as breeding stock.
You dig Shelob because you are a legs man.
You like the the Orcs' homebrew.
You've ever used one of the banners of the Rohirrim as a cookin' spit.
You took a little rock of Mount Doom with you as a souvenir.
You used insect repellent on Shelob.
You keep a piece of ork-hide in your living room to make Sting glow.
You put on the Ring occasionally just to annoy Gandalf.
You take a swim in the pool around Orthanc.
You playingly swept an axe at Fangorn and made it out just in time.
You offer plant food to Fangorn on a regular basis and giggle hysterically every time.
You offer the Ring to Galadriel again and this time you have your camera ready.
As a practical joke, you slip the Ring around Sam's finger when he's sleeping
You have a bumper sticker that reads:
"I give away my Barrow-blade when Nazgul give their Morgul-blades"
"Morgul-blades don't kill hobbits; Nazgul do."
"My wizard can beat up your wizard."
"Warning: waggon protected by pit bull with Black Breath."
You have a mithril belt buckle as big as the hand of one of the Big Folk.
Your ancestors' greatest claim to fame is that they adapted Ol' Toby into chaw.
Your granpappy's eleventy-first birthday party was attended by seven or more generations of hobbitry.
You've ever shouted "As Eru is mah witness, ah'll nevah go hungry agin!!"
You've got a bow rack on the back of your haywain.
You don't trust hifalutin' types like Ghân-buri-ghân with all their fancy airs.
You distrust Bill Ferny because of his "fancy accent".
You get voted Shirriff because everybody in the township is related to you.
You find orcdraughs rather bland tasting.
You got lost in Fangorn while searching for Treebeard's still
You think The Mouth of Sauron would make a fine announcer for the TV rasslin shows.

---

quote:

---

2 _ cups of flour
1 cup of honey (ONLY from a hive that was formed in a tree from Fangorn)
Crushed pipe-weed, to taste (Hobbits seem to like lots of this, as do the dwarves)
Water (preferably from Galadriel’s mirror)

Sprinkle the flour into a silver cauldron while singing ancient Elf-tunes. Slowly stir in the honey and chant this incantation:

Lembas, formed in secret places
Only for the ones in need.
Nourish them, brightening their faces.
Give them undying will to go on.

Lembas, sweet cakes that sustained the famous Frodo,
And kept alive Samwise in haste,
Shalt thou be kept fresh forevermore,
Time will not destroy your taste.

In this cauldron bubble and froth,
No evil is within this broth,
Gone are the days when you are needed,
but may your scent remind us still that Frodo Nine-fingers lives on, and that his quest has brought us peace,
MAY HIS DAYS NEVER CEASE!

Make certain that the last words are shouted. Repeat until the mixture has thickened. Add enough water to make it soft enough to be scooped, sort of like the mud on the riverbanks of Lothlórien in midsummer after a good rainfall. Place hobbit-foot sized lumps of the lembas-batter onto a golden platter and bake them in a sacred fire until they just begin to turn the color of the platter. While still hot, wrap the lembas in leaves and leave them to cool in the shade. Do not try this at home unless you are a wizard or an elf-maiden, the results will be, um, sticky. As aforesaid, these cakes will not spoil, and they are poisonous to Orcs.

---

Ohohoh , is there any stew left?
 

Ni!
 

*ladles stew for customers*

*Gives Samwise extra mushrooms*
 

*goes to wash the dishes*

Someone's got to do this :sigh:
 

Ni!
 

We've got kosher salt in the kitchen I know - I use it for making soothing bath salts for the hobbits to use when they soak in the tub. I'm pretty sure we can accomodate you, if not, we'll by gosh darn get what you need! We can't have a wench that is unable to eat in the tavern!

quote:

---

Meat - For an animal to be Kosher, it must have split hooves and chew its cud. (Examples: cow, goat, lamb.) Non-Kosher animals include pig, horse, camel and rabbit. Kosher fowl include chicken, turkey, goose, and certain duck. Animals and fowl must be slaughtered by a specialist, called a shochet, and then soaked and salted in accordance with Jewish law. All carnivorous (meat-eating) animals and fowl, and the blood of all animals and fowl, and any derivatives or products thereof, are not Kosher.

---

We studied kosher animals in high school honors English. Don't ask me WHY we studied this.

 

*brightens up*

There's plenty of beef down in the freezer in the cellar! Why don't we make a nice sirloin roast, and we can serve that in addition to rabbit stew? With carrots, and potatoes from Jenny's Garden - it will be perfect!

Satyagraha
 

I'm starving...

*warms some up for breakfast*

Well, the Balrog has taken his leave. I shot the moon on a keeper and he got a little salty.

Man, though, it's amazing what people drop into his ravine! He certainly pays well for all the trouble he causes.

::sets the pile of swords, arrows, jewels, and countless other goodies on the nearest table::

You guys split this up however you want-I'll just keep my winnings from the hearts game and this lovely gift he made especially for me.

::brings out a small bottle, inside of which is a flower made of tiny flames::

Isn't it lovely? He really can be sweet.

And now, I'm going to wash off all this soot. I'm a mess!
 

Runs and grabs a diamond the size of a walnut...woo hoo.
 

Ni!
 

I found the stew when I got in and had some before I slept…. It was wonderful.

Every one checkout the kitchen, I brought back a tub of fresh blackberries and have made a huge cobbler for everyone. It should be ready about now.

What’s this about a trampoline downstairs??

*Walks downstairs to see just what the guys have been up to *

 

But I have a plan to remedy all of that...muwahaha
 

Lord Elrond helped me with the hair on my toes after he (the Balrog) accidentally stepped very close to my foot. He'll fix you right up.

Elves are handy to have around.
 

::adjusts wig::

Well, I'll have to set out at once. Let's see...I can return Arwen's Evenstar to her, I can't imagine how she lost it ::raises forehead skin in Maethoriell's direction::. And perhaps I can bring back some elves! Does anyone need anything delivered to Rivendale? Want me to pick up anything along the way?

Who will accompany me on this peri...er, pleasent journey?
 

*Goes off to pack*
 

Can I go too. I need to check out that silver bowl they have.

I just love to travel and I'm still packed from my last trip.

So I'm ready. Let's go!!
 

Can I come?

I don't think I could run this place single handedly.
 

Alright, I'm ready, hat and all! Anyone care to get us started on a traveling song?
 

Okay let's go!!!

*continues huming*
 

Oh, bring back Glorfindel. Glory is always good to have around he's a decent cook and he sings a nice tune.

Elladan and Elrohir may be in their father's house, if so ask them if they want to come back with Glory. They really can't do much in the tavern, but they're nice to look at.

Elrond has some good wine in his cellar, see if you can grab some while he isn't looking.
 

I've got just the place to store that wine!

::grabs an extra hanky just in case Olivet, in typical hobbit fashion, forgot hers::

Let's roll out!

[This message has been edited by ladyday (edited October 09, 2002).]
 

Edit-ah, the letter n

[This message has been edited by ladyday (edited October 09, 2002).]
 

I dare someone to guess what I said, based upon LOTR.
 

Up for a shooting match, T?

Ni!
 

*grabs silver tipped bow and pulls out elven made arrows*
 

Did I win?
 

::shoots an arrow, bullseyes target::

your turn.

Ni!
 

*Pulls back really hard. Arrow goes through target and into a roaming rabbit*

Thats a bulleye and a rabbitneck. I believe I win.
 

no i believe I won.

Satyagraha
 

Ok, T. you win.

Ni!

 

Yes! another rabbit skin!

*Skins rabbit, takes the meat for a meat pie, and starts working on the fur for her cape*
 

may I?
 

Ni!
 

Has no one guessed yet? I'll give you a hint. Check the appendix in Return of the King.
 

~Jane~
 

Guess I'll pass the time categoring all the wine in the cellar, to make room for what they brink me back from Rivendell.

JaneX, they already set out, but I bet you can catch them. Take the bay mare in the stables, she's quick and surefooted. You'll catch them for sure.
 

*takes the mare and gallops after the group*

~Jane~
 

Hmm...it's rather quiet in here. Good thing I back!

*sings quietly*

Oh, good, there's some rabbit stew left in the kitchen. I'm hungry! Ohh...and cobbler. Yum!
 

*gets up*

*leaves more diamonds for Fael*

*walks out*
 

*stares off into the night, thinking thoughts too deep to tell*

*sighs*

Now where is that fiddle.....
 

May I sing with you?
 

Sing along if you know the words to: What shall we do with the drunken hobbit.

whose lyrics are:

(Em)What shall we do with the drunken hobbit.
(D)What shall we do with the drunken hobbit.
(Em)What shall we do with the drunken hobbit.
(A)Early in the (Em)morning.

Aye Aye up he rises
Aye Aye up he rises
Aye Aye up he rises
Early in the mornin.

Cast him into Mount Doom Till he's sober
Cast him into Mount Doom Till he's sober
Cast him into Mount Doom Till he's sober
Early in the morning.

~Jane~
 

This is so much fun! Any more songs for us, T_Smith?
 

Elrond only got his glower on at first, but then he warmed up a bit. We had him singing like a drunken dwarf last night. Don't let elves fool you-- behind all that mystery and aloof sorrow, they're just like the rest of us.
 

It's pretty much anything goes. Last time the tavern was open we even had jedis dropping by. :rolls eyes:
 

I did, however, really enjoy the fleet of Elven sailors who showed up for a while.

And all those Rangers....

*sighs*
 

quote:

---

I did, however, really enjoy the fleet of Elven sailors who showed up for a while

---

I enjoyed...

No, that doesn't work either.

Hmmm...

No, still bad...

Oh well!
 

Some apple beer for you. I also have some nice non-alcoholic wine in the cellar. Yeah, I know it doesn't sound that appealing but we elves really know how to work with wine. You'll love it.
 

Ahhh, the moon is out and the lamps have been lit.

*sips Apple Beer while rocking next to the fire chanting verse*
 

*Throws on hooded cloak and slips out the door thinking "I love a good adventure. Maybe I can find a good gift for all the wenches left at home"

I just wish I had more diamonds

*busies herself in the kitchen, dressed in her "wench duds"* (heee...thanks Olivet!)
 

What cha got cookin?

I have excellent veggie chopping abilities.

Need help?
 

Something doesn't feel right....
I feel trouble brewing....
 

People don't like our resident happ'nin wizard bachelor? Impossible. I like you, in that we are good friends and not gay sort of way.
 

*throws on cloak and follows Fael*

~Jane~
 

Thanks T. What do you think I need to do to get more friends?
 

My mother always said: to make friends try being friendly.
 

As for snuggling up to a wench....
well we are all for the fellowship.
 

Oh Toreeetha! Come here, sil vous plez!
 

Have you considered needlepoint? Very relaxing.
 

No.. needlepoint isn't my thing... too wenchy.
 

What would you like to drink today?
 

I do like gardening.
 

If you're going to be sick, the bathroom's over there

*points to left*
 

[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited October 19, 2002).]
 

Hee hee, Legolas, you stop tha...aaah! Oh, you naughty little...ooooh! Mmmm...hee hee, okay, put me down, put me down!

Oh, I can see the Tavern, it's right over there, hurry, let's go!

::turns around::

Hurry up, fellow wenches, I see the tavern!
 

Ah, what a good time that was!

Aside to ladyday: Your hair looks great, but what'll we do if the Balrog comes back?
 

Legolas, we have a bathtub upstairs, already drawn if you need to go soak and recover from your long trip here from Mirkwood.

Ah, good the twins made it too! Elladan and Elrohir, why don't you two come sit by the fire and warm up. It's cold out.

dangit-I can't bring myself to say any of the things I would be fun to say in this alter-ego
 

man, that was so uncool, the way you dragged me away like that! you gave me a rug burn...
 

I can't even go off to take an innocent bath without innuendos! Alas, poor me.

you have a sick little mind, Human. You ought to be ashamed. Just because it's what you would do, don't project it on me!

[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited October 20, 2002).]
 

[This message has been edited by Wenchling (edited October 21, 2002).]
 

*shaves Wenchling bald, then rams her into a tree*
 

*kicks Wenchling and goes for Human*
 

Don't you EVER hurt my alter ego!

*throws Legolas and his prissy ears down the basement stairs*
 

*lassos Human*

ORDER YOUR FINE HORSES NOW! RAISE UP YOUR HAND TO THE LEVEL OF YOUR EYES! NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW, EXCEPT PERHAPS WENCHLING!
 

Hm...no wonder they don't have kids often.
 

Hm. Now, Wenchling, could you get me outta this loop?
 

Satyagraha
 

Okay, I look pretty stupid with the eyebrow gel, but gotta do what you gotta do, neh?

And now, to hit the baths!
 

*calls over Elladan, Elrohir, and several of the Dunedain*

Can you guys help me keep the peace?

Knew I could count on you.
 

*tries to help him up, but accidentally falls on him.*

Sorry, sir! Oh, NO! I'm all wound up in my petty coats and can't seem to get my feet under me! I'm so sorry!

*Cops Feel.*

 

alright-since we seem to be being too loud-monpoly!
 

You're on, elf. But no using those prissy little elven dice.
 

Quit feeling up the sons of Elrond!
 

*rolls a 5*

*lands on River Crossing: Bree (the equivilant of Reading Railroad)*

*buys it for 200*
 

stupid mortal!
 

Of course, anyone notinterested in playing Monopoly is more than welcome to come sit by the fire. I'll bring out the ale and the wine, and perhaps we can have some story-telling?

If we're lucky, there may even be a hobbit-dance. Wouldn't that be fun?
 

Thank goodness it is quieter here. I hope there is a dance tonight! I'd love to dance with one of the elves. I wonder if my new dress is ready.
 

All your opponents have been captured and sent to Mt. Doom. Who ever owns Mt. Doom, wins.

Well, I guess I win. Now, as for that dance....
 

Hi Vana, Fael. Would you like some hot chocolate? It's a little chilly out tonight and hot chocolate by the fire always makes me feel good.

Some of the elves mentioned gathering to night for some singing and dancing, and I know the hobbits will join in too. Should be fun!
 

Mmm...hot chocolate.

~Jane~
 

That hot chocolate was wonderful Elvenwench.
I enjoyed the conservation at the fireplace last night, Vana, Elvenwench and JaneX. We must get together and go shopping later. Especially if there is going to be a dance!
 

Dance...sorry, no, I'm not shod for it...
 

*is not surprised*

Guess I'll go take care of that. It'll feel good to move around a bit, anyway.

Fael, tell me about this new dress of yours!
 

*sweeps up lava from mt. doom, and parts of t-smith*
 

Let's help clean up then I'm going to take a long bubble bathe to get ready.

Elvenwench is going to help me braid my hair.
 

But I think I danced the "Dance of El Muerte".
 

I was going to wear green tonight, but not wanting to compete with Fael, I shall wear sapphire blue instead.
 

**rushes off to wax her feet*
 

Elvenwench... Go ahead and wear your green! then we will match.
 

Ahhh.

I just can't wait!
 

Hmm, hello, Aragorn! Hee, that tickles. Of course I'll dance with you tonight. You clean up well, I must admit.
 

[This message has been edited by T_Smith (edited October 25, 2002).]
 

Um. I think I'll sit this one out. Dances scare me.

~Jane~
 

How about meeting me in the grove out back for some quick dancing lessons.
then you can join in and enjoy!
 

Aw Shucks I just knew they would like dancing.

 

Come back Jane X and Human! You can be in the band!
 

I can sing lead for SOME songs.
 

I have a few spots on my dance card. Of course, the fellowship comes first, but I'll dance with whoever can keep up.
 

::takes offered hand, just as a lovely tango starts up from the band::
 

Well, noone TOLD me we weren't going to be playing Creed songs...
 

Hopefully I will meet some nice looking girls like yourself when I go out here ; ).
:: swirls around the dance floor with her::
 

Creed, Human? Well, I don't know if they do anything you can dance to, but...

::takes a seat behind the drums::

(what can I say, I'm a sucker for a man in uniform)
 

*rummages through bag for a pick-up for dulcimer*

Can I plug into your amp, Human?
 

Well, Ladyday, they do a few power ballads, some slower stuff...mayhap danceable. And I think I can dredge up some pop stuff.
 

No power on earth on heaven will ever induce me to dance!
 

Ow! Who knew Legolas of all elves has two left feet!

I think he might have been distracted by a certain dwarf, actually ::harumphs::
 

Honestly, is there any other instrument that takes this long to tune?

Portable instrument. Pipe organ does not count.
 

::raises eyebrows at Human::

C'mon, let's go!
 

*wishes the hobbits would hurry up and get here*
 

Olivet I hope your Hobbits get here soon too. The more hobbits the better the party!
 

I'll go get some wine.

*smiles brightly*
 

[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited October 28, 2002).]
 

Hey, Toreeetha!
 

is that what you mean by pep?

*dives back into corner*

[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited October 28, 2002).]
 

*beheads Human*

*locks self in bathroom*

can't get me here!
 

Hey, where'd you get that food? Can you get me some?

*remains in corner*

~Jane~
 

just a sec

HUMAN! go bother someone else! I will not dance. I like hiding!

*grabs more food, and goes back into hiding*

lembas, pie, cake, fruit, soda...did I miss anything?
 

*slides into seat*

Can you pass me a Dr. Pepper?
 

Fox? Jane? what dyall want?
 

*relaxes in dark corner with glass of wine and a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed elf*
 

*Grabs Pippin*
 

Let's go! I'm so glad you learned all these dances when you were at Bree.

This is so much fun!
 

Maybe JaneX will come out for a story. After all then she wouldn't have to dance, same goes for Toretha too.

I promise I won't make you dance...After all the rest of us needs an audience when we decide to perform.
 

This is so much fun!!
 

'Tis a long story. I traveled to our northern neighbor's land (Canada) for a large gathering (World Youth Day). From there life continued on as much as it ever had until...
(Insert rest of story here. )
... And that concludes my story.

::takes sip of favorite ale and waits for the next tale to begin::
 

*sits and leans back comfortably with a glass of wine*

Let's see...have I told you all about the time I spent the summer in Ithilien?
 

I love sitting here and listening to these stories.

*gets another glass of ale and munches on chips*
 

*settles in for some stories*
 

*needs one*
 

It's dangerous!!!

It's scary!!!

You'll die!!!

You'll never be yourself again!!!

DON'T GO THERE!!!
 

They're scary!

They will pamper your every need!

They will make you their new toy!

Olivet will trip over you, again and again!

We have Apple Beer!
 

and bedrooms!
 

And a trampoline!
 

::tries some of the cookies::

Yummmm.
 

*sips wine and munches contently on warm spice cake*
 

*Realizes it is an actual Nazgul*

*squeaks and drops tray of dainties*
 

*looks at Nazgul sternly*

I'll have that Morgul blade, if you please. No wandering around with a blade like that, I've seen what happens when you guys get drunk. We can't have you stabbing someone and turning them into a wraith just because you're snockered.
 

I vant to drink your bluud!
 

Ooooo, Nazgul! They always give me the shivers. It's the way my plants wilt and the turtle plods away from them. And they can't hold their liquor. Wenches, make sure to (surreptitiously) put buckets under their barstools.

And we will have none of that screeching here, guys.

Fine, if you're going to be that way, you can go to the Wizard's basement and join them for beer and pizza and whatever it is they do on that trampoline!

*shoves creepy cloaked guys down the Wizard's Stair*
 

Plus, they have pizza! Pizza!!!

Pizza should not be allowed in a tavern.
 

I'll be scrubbing tubs for a bit-let me know if you need anything!

::pats Sasha the Tort's head:: Don't throw away the carved pumpkins-Sasha will eat them.

Edit-curse those smilies.

[This message has been edited by ladyday (edited November 01, 2002).]
 

The Nazzie's gone now, and that CAN'T be comfortable. Please come out! I have fresh mushrooms. Please?
 

Kama, you deserve a rest from all that baking. ::hands Kama a drink::
 

*sits back and relaxes*
 

~Jane~
 

Would any of you like something to eat or drink?

::smiles sweetly as a particularly good-looking ranger helps with the heavy tray::

I must be heaven!

*loves her job as a Tavern Wench*
 

He stops a wench. "Um. . . hello. I -uh," and here, the bawdy rangers and elves catch his eye. He blinks twice, then shakes his head. "I'm here with your honey. Just tell me where to put it."
 

M'hmm. ::grins mischevously:: I thought we could all use some cheering up/excitement so I invited some of the people I met on my travels. They all seemed quite interested in tavern when I told them about it. I wonder why...
 

stories are nice, but they can't compare with rangers!
 

I've been upstairs running hot baths in every available bathroom, since I heard we had a large group of rangers and elves come in.

Any of you care for a nice, warm soak?
 

And we've got plenty bubble bath-strawberry and unscented, whichever you prefer!
 

::notices wenches puzzled/shocked stares::

What?! I like pizza! And trampolines!
 

Having some one taller than you around is nice everyonce in a while...

Ni!

 

Bubble Bath Room

WENCHES ONLY! NO HW'S ALLOWED. THIS MEANS YOU.

Aww...
 

You should see the shape of their clothes. Muddy, stained, ripped in places. We have a choice, wenches. We can wash and repair, or make the rangers new clothing. At least their cloaks are in good shape, having been made in Lorien.
 

Where's Martha? She could probably really help here.
 

There we go. Much better.

::surveys scene::
Ack! We can't make them clothes if we don't know what size clothes they wear!
Toretha, help!

:: passes around supplies and then gets to work on the measurements::

Edit: stupid smilies

[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited November 04, 2002).]
 

*mental note to call inseam first next time*
 

*hates sewing*
 

You, my dear, are good at baking, among other things - you can be sure the men (and elves!) are well fed and never thirsty.

I'll help you once I get all those shoulders measured.

I don't really know how to sew. I just like the way it sounds.

I'd much rather sit around and drink the ale.


 

Hmmm... If this were a Harry Potter thread, I'd say that we need house-elves.

::sneaks back downstairs for some pizza::
 

Hmmm... Maybe I'd better go back upstairs with all the other wenches. Too many housewife wannabes down here.

 

~Jane~
 

And, they shine, and all that, could give away your position.

So, let's just get them some more functional clothes made up. Although, if you're really in a creative mood, we can make them some formal outfits. I mean, you can't wear drab greens, browns, and greys to a wenches feast that includes dancing, now can you?

So, Those of you that want to sew something spectacular, go ahead. I'll continue scrubbing and mending the clothes that are salvageable. But we need to hurry - I saw a couple of Dunedain upstairs that are looking rather forlorn just wearing white cotton shirts and shorts. They'd really like their regular clothes back soon.
 

*plots fun formal outfits for rangers to come*
 

*really loves her job as a Tavern Wench*
 

These goblets would be so great for our Tavern!!!And there are so many different shapes!!!

(They're all from www.tolkienshop.com )
 

Great links, Kama!

And Toretha, how about a compromise? For every two sets of practical clothes we make, you can make one festive set.

*goes to basement to clean off pottery wheel*

Ok, I am going to need to get/do the following:

1 big screen t.v.
1 brand new, top of the line DVD player
*thinks to self about how many rangers will be here next week*
60 bags of popcorn
30 2-Liters of Coke/Pepsi (Its not my place to judge you pepsi lovers )
Make arrangements in advance with Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, Dominoes and Little Caesars
Surround Sound System
Can a couple of you wizards conjour up some more sofa's?

Ok, once those are set, this time next Tuesday we will be having some fun. Are your ranger friends going to join us?
 

Ahhh...
 

::reads over list and decides that the basement is sounding more and more fun::

One question: Are we (the Wenches) allowed down there?
 

Next Tuesday might indeed be a good basement day, the big screen will come in handy.
 

*Goes upstairs to check the fit*
 

::throws up hands in frustration:: All the clothes I made for the Rangers just fall right off! Oh, look, there goes another pair of trousers, must go!

*sees Human*

Hey! You're not a wench! What are you doing here?
 

Silly dames.
 

"They need some help in there."

*Sits down shakily*

"I've taken a bit of a fright. I don't dare go near them with a needle and thread,"

*holds out hands to show their unsteadiness*

"I think I shall serve supper in the Hobbit common room this evening."

*Begins preparing supper*

"Oh, and LadyDay-- the Rangers seem to , ah, SUSPECT something."
 

Hmmm...

I think we should have a big party on Sunday. Why? Because we're the Hatrack wenches and deserve parties.

If anyone's interested, I'll get to work in the kitchen on the food. ::is planning something special:: If you're not, come along anyway. It's my 16th birthday on Monday and I feel like doing something nice for you guys in celebration.
 

Pixie...ya little wench you..your only 16? That surprises me greatly....surely that must be physical years only. Mentally...I'd rate you amongst the honored old ones.
 

"You like me, you really like me."
 

Pity, isn't it? But it was fun!

Anyway, what's this I hear about a party? What can I do to help?
 

Do you know what this means?

Food, decorating, new outfits, lining up entertainment...wow, we have a lot to do!
 

Oh, my. We seem to have forgotten to sew a new outfit for him...well, I'll just send him up to my room, where i can make sure the clothes fit *perfectly*

Ni!
 

I'll mind the ale.

*one for me...one for you....one for me...one for you...*
 

Hmmm.... Oh! Shadowfax! Thank you, dearling.

Ladies! It seems that the Riders of Rohan are but a few days' ride away and will be joining us for our party. Honorary Wenches - make sure the stables are in good shape. Lay in the best oats, hay, carrots, and mash. Those of us who can ride might be invited along on hunts or races or horseback picnics!

Come right on in, Shadowfax. You are welcome to some of this fresh spring water and some sugar cubes.

*pats Shadowfax and braids his mane for him*
 

Ale, hunting, cakes, rangers, elves, riders, and good friends: Talk about a great way to celebrate a birthday. I can't wait!

::isn't doing anything for her birthday in RL since her RL friends are presently bickering::

Oh well. This is going to be so much fun!
 

::sighs contentedly:: Thanks guys!

::sneaks around looking for a surprise to bring to the party:: ::finds one::
 

PIXIE! You're not SUPPOSED to look!

*firmly escorts Pixie outside to wait*

You can have a ranger or elf or whatever you like to keep you company, but stay OUTSIDE or IN YOUR ROOM. No looking!

[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited November 08, 2002).]
 

Here Pixie, Im going to help you pass the time. Put this on your head and stand by that tree.

*looks around*

Now where is my bow?
 

Sorry, T_Smith, but I highly doubt you're a modern-day William Tell.
 

*turns and shouts*

Legolas! Oh Legolas! We need you out here in the garden.
 

You called?
 

Sheesh, we can't take you people anywhere...

~Jane~
 

Has anyone seen my Golden Seal bag?
 

Well, it's Sunday. The first day of the party has arrived. And so, dear friends, Wenches and Honorary Wenches alike, here is my gift to you:
::unrolls long parchment::

...The future of civilization rests in the fate of the One Ring, which has been lost for centuries. Powerful forces are unrelenting in their search for it. But fate has placed it in the hands of a young Hobbit named Frodo Baggins, who inherits the Ring and steps into legend.

A daunting task lies ahead for Frodo when he becomes the Ringbearer — to destroy the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom where it was forged. But he can’t do it alone. A Fellowship bands together to lend Frodo the wisdom of Gandalf; the loyalty of his friends Sam, Merry and Pippin; the courage of Aragorn and Boromir; the precision of Legolas; and the strength of Gimli. They are aided in their quest by Arwen, Galadriel and Elrond whose knowledge of the Ring brings to light the true danger and importance of their journey… To the Hatrack Wenches Tavern!

For photos of some of our guests please go here.

And I’ve also brought dessert.

Enjoy! (Both the guests and food. )

*looks at Legolas*

Thanks, and after I shoot this apple I'll let you shoot one off my head.

*mumbles something about William Tell*
 

I'm so excited. Pixie those cakes look scrumptious!

I have brought some fabulous southwestern quesadilla rolls, to start us all off. Plus, some very special wine that I've been keeping in the back of the wine cellar for just such an occasion.

And, I will start off the gift-giving to Pixie.

I hope you like it, I know white isn't always practical, but it was so lovely I couldnt' resist.

Pixie's New Dress
 

::skids to a stop in surprise:: Gifts? Wow. Thank you! ::runs around hugging everyone and offering them cake::

ElvenWench: I can't view ".jpg" files on my computer but I'm sure it's lovely anyway.

1. A vase full of flowers (hope you wenches won't get mad, I picked them out of the garden)

2. An magical pie that can transform into any type of pie that you want. Right now it is set to apple.

3. More apples. I'll meet you by the tree later.

4. A new shirt that says "Property of Legolas" because Im a guy and Im bad at giving gifts.

Happy Birthday!

 

Now where did that Legolas go..I'll take a shot at the archery..

I didn't know Edoras pictures were up yet..Awesome dress too!
 

Pixie, I hope you are having a wonderful time.

I've mulled some wine and some cider, so take your pick, everyone. There's plenty!
 

*Wanders in to check out the party food*
 

And since not everyone likes pipe-weed, I had Elrond enchant it when we went to Rivendell. When you take it out into the starlight, it plays the lay of Luthien, and other haunting elvish melodies. If you take it out in the sunlight, or by a bright fire, it plays Hobbit tunes.

Happy birthday!
 

::runs outside to stand by tree:: ( Sorry, T_Smith, I hadn't seen the "and let me give you your present" part of the post.)

BTW, Wenches and Honorary Wenches, this isn't a party for me, it's a party from me to you. Go enjoy yourselves.

[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited November 11, 2002).]
 

*Gives Pixie some delicious cookies*
 

::the sound of galloping horses draws nearer:: The Rohirrim are here!
 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...they look dirty to me...I'll go run a few baths
 

Gentlemen, please, come in. We have some hot baths running for you. Be assured we will take care of your beloved horses for you.
 

I can see that they need baths more than me...but I expect to be rewarded for this later!
 

Watch out, pretty boy, you'll break a nail.

::Rubs down horses, puts them in stalls with plenty of hay and water::

Ni!
 

::exits kitchen carrying large tray of drinks and lembas for the rohirrim::

Oh, and for all the Wenches and Honorary Wenches who are helping to make the Rohirrim comfortable, I've left an extra tray of lembas and drinks in the kitchen.

::decided a week ago that her job in the tavern was to make sure that everyone was well-rested, well-fed, and comfortable:: How may I be of service?
 

I could use some help down in the wine cellar, the Rohirrum are happy enough with ale, but all these elves tend to stick with wine.

*turns around*

What's that Faramir? You and some of your Ithilien rangers will come help? How very kind of you.

You've always been the polite one, you have. Denethor was a fool to think Boromir was better.
 

Hey guys, look over there. A bunch of Uruks are stealing your horses!

*snickers as everylast one of them runs off*

*drinks apple beer*
 

Hey! the horses are still there! Stop making trouble, or we'll lock you up in the jail
 

::brings out a large wooden box::

Well, here you go, Pixie-sorry it's late . It's a throwing ax, very well balanced. And, of course, here is a nice bag of apples to practice with. Now who can we get to balance an apple on their head...hmm...
 

::leads 3 Rohirrim over to Ladyday::

You didn't miss the party. It's going to continue for as long as we want it to.
 

http://www.filmscoremonthly.com/articles/2002/15_Nov---Film_Score_Friday_Plus_Two_Towers_Review.asp
 

*Volunteers for target practice*
 

Would you like some breakfast?

Anyone else?

*offers coffee to anyone who happens to be awake*
 

::yawns:: One should not have to wake up early on saturday.
 

mushroom soup, fish for Gollum, lembas crispies for dessert
 

*makes face*

He likes it raw, scales, eyes and all.
 

Not as an escape (well, not entirely... ), but as a harbor - a respite, if you will.

*gathers fresh flowers (as the Vala of Springtime, I can gather fresh flowers whenever I choose) and places them in vases all over the tavern*

*bakes fresh brownies and cookies and cakes*

*lights a fire in the fireplace and mulls some cider and wine*

*eats cookies and drinks wine next to the fire, surrounded by the scent of lilacs and orchids*

[This message has been edited by Vána (edited November 18, 2002).]
 

Question: Have you read the Silmarillion?
 

Why do you ask?
 

::started reading the Silmarillion over the weekend and loves it::

 

(back to the Tavern...)
I'm surprised at how quiet it's been in here. Perhaps some of you are alergic to my flowers?

Or maybe you would prefer some other varieties? Let's see...what can I find out there?

Elanor? How about some Niphredil? Irises, even?

*goes out to gather more flowers*

Please enjoy some brownies while I'm gone, or lembas if you prefer.

 

*yawns*

*rubs sleep from eyes*

I keep having the strangest dreams.

Oh, look! Brownies!
 

*wanders into the kitchen to get something to eat*
 

Edit: Silly extra smilies.

[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited November 20, 2002).]
 

Ohhhhhh...unless that's what you were doing...in which case, no wonder you're tired! Here, have some cider and some cake.
 

We're going to go....hunting. yes, that's it, Hunting.

::races into woods before Roharrim find out she has thier horses::

Ni!
 

KWSNI!!!! The Rohirrim ALWAYS notice, and now they've gone away. Kwsni, please bring back the horses. You can keep the Ranger for now, but the rest of us would like the Rohirrim back so that they can continue to... uh... help us clean up the bathtubs. Yeah, that's it. We've been using them so much lately that they need a good cleaning.
 

*starts cleaning tubs*

How do you like that? Oh yea, watch me work it, now. Cleaning the tubs. Whuuuuu!!!
 

T_Smith, go enjoy yourself with the rest of the guys.
 

An elven ale, please. Maybe two.
 

Silly rohairrim, no fun at all... who d'they think takes care of their horses when they're here, anyway?

Stupid ranger...playing all innocent...oh sure, I MADE him come. ::scoffs::

::wants a rohirrim horse::

::would actually settle for any horse at the moment::

: outs::

Ni!

[This message has been edited by knightswhosayni! (edited November 22, 2002).]
 

*takes ni to the side to explain the benefits of baths, and their effects on Rohirrim*
 

Come to think of it...I don't mind anyone smelling like a horse.

::Grabs cute Rohirrim and heads for bathtub::

Ni!

~Jane~
 

Thanks Vana...you're a darling of a wench!

I plucked some wild flowers to spruce up the place.

*hums to herself while putting the flowers in a rinsed out ale jug*
 

*I do know a charming little ole lady deep in the woods that can whip us up a dose of spring daisies if we really needed them*
 

::lights fires in all of the fireplaces::

There, that's better.
 

*slurps soup*

~Jane~
 

Oh, sorry wrong thread. I forgot that over hear Im a hungry elf.

Gimme soup, m'lady.
 

Well, I'll be... Slang and pleasantries in the same sentence. What is this world coming to?
 

My but it's cold out there tonight. Snow!

*snuggles up to the warm fire*
 

Vana does make some good soup.

Think I'll just curl up here in front of the fire and listen to some of the elves sing.

*looks around for nice elf or ranger to cuddle with*
 

::gets to work in kitchens::

someone help me please, I'm trying to drag all the Christmas decorations up from the cellar.

Hope that helps.
 

I'll help untangle! I love untangling!

 

~Jane~
 

Merry, Pippin - quit fooling around! You're supposed to help, not get tangled up in the lights yourself! Toretha and JaneX, see if you untangle those lads, will you?

Olivet, since you can't hang anything all that high, see if one of the rangers will help you put the star on top of the tree, would you?

And Faramir, I need you and Elladan and Elrohir to come back to the basement with me....we need to scrounge around in the dark for some more boxes.

I'll be back later, wenches!

 

I'd better go help with the decorations.
 

Here you are Fael. I've had Gandalf bewitch the tray so that the food replenishes itself. Now you won't have to interupt your studying to eat. Good luck!
 

It took a lot of time and crawling around in some very dark, very close quarters. But it was successful, I found the boxes of ribbon.

*sits down and begins making bows for the garlands*
 

Now come on, you two. Help me untangle the lights. Afterwards we can go have some of those goodies in the kitchen.

~Jane~
 

Oh, hello Gandalf. Your pinecones are beautiful as usual. I'll just roast some of these chestnuts if you don't mind sharing the fire.

*Settles down leg to leg with the wizard, he kneeling with multicolored pinecone, she kneeling with the roasting basket. Occasional giggling as Gandalf reminisces about "Fifteen birds in five fir-trees".

There's hot mulled cider in the kitchen. Anyone want to help bake cookies?
 

Cookies sound awesome.
 

Since we're already on the subject of food, what would you all like to have for Christmas? Please keep in mind that we have limited kitchen help so nothing too big. On the other hand, I do have Gandalf's promise that he'll be whipping up something special for all of us.
 

Great stuff. Excellent stuff. Feeds millions of people with one batch. Goes great with sour cream.

Oh, and never make gulumpki (I don't know how to spell any of this stuff). Its cabbage rolls soaked in tomatoe soup. Very nasty stuff. Don't eat gulumpki.

Ni!
 

I think they're untangled now...

*grabs two Rohirrim to go fetch a Christmas tree in*

[This message has been edited by Toretha (edited December 08, 2002).]
 

Hey, Toretha...need an escort? I can ride, a little.
 

Yeah, cmon, we need to get a really BIG tree-lets start hunting

*grabs another horse for Human*
 

Onward, to the Tree-Borne Hill!
 

*kicks horse*

I'll race you!
 

Let's RIDE!

*gallops past Toretha's poor, abused horse*
 

Let's get her!

*horse kicks snow all over Toretha, then runs ahead*
 

*watches in satisfaction as the mountain dumps snow over both Human and his horse, burying them up to their necks, then continues on her way*
 

You rotten little bugger!

*casts Blizzaga and showers Toretha with a mini-blizzard*
 

*lobs one last snow ball, then realizes that she's wasting time she could be using the get ahead of Human, and sets off at a gallop*
 

I love Damarian horses...

*speeds past Toretha*
 

*gallops on*
 

*calls to toretha's horse, calling it to him*
 

At least I don't try to subvert your horse!
 

*calls toretha's horse again, more urgently*
 

no, they're not! I put pillows in the bottom-see!
 

Thanks, toretha!

*mounts up*

And the last one to the tree is an orc!

*gallops off*
 

*Gets off horse, runs to tree, then calls horse*

Ok-my horse is the orc, and you've got to eat it!
 

Yeah, right.

*draws Masamure*

Now, down cometh the tree.
 

Everyone confuses me with my namesake...EVERYONE. Stop doing it!
 

So, this confusion with another, this is that base of your wish to kill yourself?
 

See? I'm still here! No suicide!
 

I think that fir's a bit to scrawny....
 

*casts Life2 on the tree and regenerates it*

I don't have enough MP to do that often!
 

*points to very large pretty tree*
that one
 

Why isn't it falling? Oh, that's right...the sword.

*blows on the tree*

*CRASH*
 

*grabs one end of tree and mounts*
you get the other side

good thing this is the internet, or this plan for carrying it would never work!
 

Back to the Tavern! Giddap!
 

YOU [much damarian, japanese and yiddish cursing]!!!!
 

Better that than a (<insert something insulting here> )
 

*rides quietly for a while, then suddenly jerks horse toward Human, using his grip on the tree to push him off the saddle*

And I didn't hit the horse!
 

And lets hurry up and get back-stop playing around in the snow, you're holding us up
 

You...you...I'll get you for this, one day. But not until after Christmas. Come on!
 

sure you'll get me...
 

Let me know when Toretha and Human get back with the tree. Although the way they left it might take them forever.

 

Always the ever popular chocolate chip.

I also think we should throw in a batch of those double dutch chocolate miniature cakes. Sort of a chocolate cupcake with a melted cream cheese and chocolate chip center.

I'm hungry already!
 

*gets to work*
 

::gets to work making an extra large batch::
 

We're back!

What's a snickerdoodle?
 

*Sits staring at the fire while sipping, thinking of the holiday season and enjoying the warmth*
 

*heads upstairs to start scrubbing*
 

::sighs:: I need a nap. Too many tests, etc. Too little sleep, etc. ::yawns and gets back to work::

 

*curls up by the fire next to Fael*
 

*blissfully ignores the fact that her in-laws are coming tomorrow*
 

Hey ladies! The downstairs hot springs room is fixed. I'm gonna dry my hair up here now. Are there still some cookies?
 

The Rangers of Ithilien are bringing in some more wood.
 

*snuggles under blanket and watche the colorful fire Gandalf has created for the holidays*

ohhh that looks cool!
 

I think the kitchen hobbits will be okay without me for awhile. :;shakes head:: They're always stealing the food and, by the time it hits the oven, half of it's missing.

::sits by fire sipping tea::
 

Alas, me ladies I have returned. Wenches! Prepare my sleeping room, and fetch me a jug of ail.
 

::hands jebus large tray of ale and cakes:: Take these downstairs with you, if you don't mind. Thanks.
 

*leaves link to The Very Secret Diary of Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Part Two*

*grabs some lembas and a random elf, and wanders back into the corner*

--xnera
 

*picks up Aragorn's secret diary*

*hastly puts it down and goes back by fire*
 

Yeah, you said it.

*sips hot cocoa*

Wanna play some scrabble with the Rohirrim?
 

*Returns to her coccoon by the fire. The blanket only opens to reveal a hand reaching for a mug of hot chocolate. The other hand holds a book*
 

They're just afraid we'll beat them.

So, I suppose it's just a quiet night in front of the fire with a good book.
 

*snuggles back and continues to read*
 

I don't even know what that is. Teach me?
 

*walks downstairs*
 

http://user.tninet.se/~xof995c/tengscribe.htm
 

Of course there seems to be a couple of adventurous ones that are into mind games.

*sips her hot chocolate and goes back to reading*
 

We'll be back soon.

Wenches, I'll see you at WenchCon! Those of you who cannot attend in person, I know, will be with us in spirit.

in spirit... yeah...

*cries some more*

I'm expecting a full report with pics and all.
 

Has anyone seen this:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=138905
 

Sorry, I didn't mean to be gone so long. I got tied up with some of the Lothlorien elves.

I passed Bilbo Baggins on the Road a ways back. He's coming to the Tavern for a visit. Wenches! We need to tidy up. If we impress the old hobbit, he might put us in his book. We'll be famous!
 

How were the Lothlorien Elves?
 

Mistress Jenny! I have the mint and Chamomile for the teas, and plenty of fresh mushrooms for the elder Master Baggins. I have the best hobbit chair warming by the fire and a fresh bag of Old Toby. I should make some of those little cakes he likes!"

*scampers off into kitchen*
 

Ni!
 

All I can say is Wow... Gimili !!!

Jenny I desperately need some of your Chamomile tea. A person needs to calm her soul after a weekend like that.

 

I've missed you so!
 

And I just want to remind everyone that:

Context Is Everything.

Most of us were in a sleep-deprivation equivalent of really, really drunk.

And, incidentally, Rakeesh was totally right about Pippin.

*wanders off to serve the Hobbits and join them in a meal of that wonderful pasta and mushroom AMBROSIA that she cannot praise in strong enough terms.*
 

The only words to describe that dish are: Oh.My.Eru.

Context may be everything, but some people need to think before they speak. Look for the thread entitled "Context may or may not be everything" coming later tonight.
 

I'm so excited!!! I so love his writings!!!

I'll be in his book!!!

*faints*
 

Well, it's back to the kitchen for a bit. Tea all 'round, and I'll mix up a large batch of pasta ambrosia.

Celeborn promises to visit soon, ElvenWench. Galadriel is hostessing some Ringbearer Reunion, and he'd rather hang out here at the Tavern with us. So, I suppose he'll be here a couple days after Bilbo leaves.

Oh, and Haldir is coming with him.
 

I'm going to get the rooms ready for our visitors! Any ideas for entertainment? I think Bilbo would be thrilled with the chance to perform a song with the elves, but I'm not sure of a good way to bring them together.

What do you think of these?

Or perhaps these?
 

*is especially fond of the green skirt in the second picture*

[This message has been edited by Vána (edited January 09, 2003).]
 

Really, really badly.
 

Edited because i can't make the code work.

Ni!

[This message has been edited by knightswhosayni! (edited January 10, 2003).]
 

mMmmRRRrrOOoOOWWwwrrr

Can he come to the tavern?
 

that's just the one i happened to have when we had the post your desktop thread.
I change so often, there's no saying what's on my desktop at any given moment.
here is where i get most of my chrighton pics.

Ni!
 

Ooooohhh! Chills are creeping up my neck! That means only one thing - the Nazgul are back.

Nazgrrrls! We need you down here! These creepy guys are going to frighten Mr. Bilbo.
 

I'd best make sure that fire is properly tended! It can get pretty cold in here if the fire dies down too far.
 

So...what's this "pasta ambrosia" I hear about? Is is kosher?

~Jane~
 

::still can't find a recipe for a lemon thyme sauce anywhere::

Ni!
 

I have four different recipes for lemon-thyme sauce, if you're really looking.
 

I want to be an elf so bad I can't stand it.
 

dkw, I'd try all four, if i wasn't living in a dorm. Post them, though, I'm sure people who actually have kitchens are interested.

Ni!
 

*wistful smile*

 

~Jane~
 

We do understand. Trust me.

I'm in bad shape. Now I understand the complete love affair everyone has with Frodo, Legolas and Aragorn.

The eyes, oh the eyes!

*greedily takes all the comfort she can get from those who understand and know*
 

Grrr!
 

grrr!
 

Ni!
 

In the Tavern, you can be anything you want.

'Bug-eyed freak' is mine. I started it. So you have to put a little (tm.Olivet) next to it when you use it.

Elijah Wood is a bug-eyed freak, but Frodo is wonderful.

*sighs*

Tho Pippin is loads more fun.

*Serves Hobbits more Pasta Ambrosia, with extra mushrooms...*
 

I need pasta ambrosia too, please!

Then I need some hot chamomile tea 'cause I'm not feeling well.
 

Ni!
 

I just love all of you. You know that, right? 'Cause I really do.
 

Ni!
 

*hugs Vána*

~Jane~
 

*hug*

Now, I am thinking this is a good night for some hot cocoa and/or hot tea in front of the fire. Preferably with some ranger company.

*calls back over shoulder*

Elladan? Elrohir? Would you and any of the Dunedain like to come over near the fire? Feel free to bring Faramir and any of his Ithilien rangers with you.
 

Ni!
 

Sends "feel better" wishes to ElvenWench!

Sends "lovin feelings" to Vana.

:doesn't flinch a bit when Ni grabs Aragorn, her previously favorite:

Due to his quiet dignity, Legolas has won her over...and beauty, musn't forget the beauty.

*awaits his arrival impatiently*

Mrs. Legolas Greenleaf ...hmmmmm Tammy Greenleaf. Yes...I like it.

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited January 17, 2003).]
 

Ni!
 

Hey, Wenches! Take a look at this:

http://users3.ev1.net/~eekfrenzy/captionspage/badfotrcaptionsx.html

Some really badly subtitled LotR things.

Do not drink while reading...

 

Blasphemy!

That intense gaze, that ginger hair, that strength of character "Then it is forfeit."

*swoons*
 

Sounds kinda girly.

*snicker*
 

::is picky about noses::

Ni!
 

quote:

---

How about Tammy Sharkey?

---

Flattered beyond belief, but alas, no one wants someone who is love sick over another, do they?

Drats...now I HAVE to see Two Towers. Must feed my new addiction.
 

Hurry and give me the dates so I can "unmark" some of this calender.
 

We absolutely *must* get a Legolas figure before next year's gathering.
 

Ni!
 

*dreamy sigh*
 

grrrr!
 

That would mean it's almost exactly one year away!

To be more specific - WenchCon 2004 would begin on Friday, January 16 and run through Sunday January 18.

Olivia, Fael - those of you that know the Bham area, would you rather locate in the Trussville area, where 459 meets Hwy 11 and go to the Trussville theater (fairly new, clean, stadium seating and good sound) or locate off 280 closer to the Summit?

Lots of restaurants and things to do on 280, but also much more crowded and harder to get around. No shortage of restaurants in Trussville, though but it's a slower paced area. And closer to my house, should we do anything here.

Just think about it. I guess we'll need to start more formal planning here pretty soon - I also have a 25th anniversary party to plan this year.
 

Ni!
 

Do you know, ladies, that Barliman Butterbur has just arrived to sample our ale? He has challenged us - he claims that there is no better brew to be found than that at the Prancing Pony! And then Beorn claims that his honey mead is the tastiest. I don't know what to do... should we have a contest?
 

*goes back to get started*

~Jane~
 

... hmmm ... methinks there be Wenches 'round this corner ...
 

quote:

---

To be more specific - WenchCon 2004 would begin on Friday, January 16 and run through Sunday January 18.

---

Markin my calendar.

 

As for the ale challenges - yes, let's have a contest! But who will judge? Probably a mix of people would be best. A dwarf, an elf, a man, and a hobbit? I don't know! It's just a suggestion.
 

Elves aren't much for ale, they prefer wine, but I betcha we could convince Legolas to help judge. Gimli knows his ale, he can judge. As for men, methinks your best bet is Eomer.
 

*Realizes that she has just exposed herself as a long-term Aragorn Stalker. *

Or so I'm Told. *cough*

*scurries off*

 

The tavern was on page 3!

*glances around*

The place is looking a bit neglected, I think it needs some cleaning.

Hobbits - half of you clean floors (you're closer to them) the other half go out and work in the garden.

Rangers - clean up the common room.

Rohirrim - stable duty.

Elves - half of you go clean bedrooms, the other half lend a hand to the wenches in the kitchen.

Dwarves - go down and clean the cellar and basement.

That should get things looking a little better.

 

Ni!
 

I guess that means I should be in the kitchen with the Elves.

What are we making? Whatever it is, there'd better be a lot of it. Everyone's going to be very, very hungry after all that cleaning.
 

The other half needs to come upstairs to the bedrooms with me....so we can air out some of the mattresses.

*runs out to protect her herb garden*
 

*goes off to help Rangers in common room*

mmmm...rangers....

[This message has been edited by Mother_Toretha (edited January 23, 2003).]
 

We've got a very large amount of soup and stew in here. Should help everyone warm up.

How's all the other work going?
 

Haldir and the Lorien elves took rugs outside and beat them, while some of the Mirkwood elves scoured the garden for flowers that to bring inside.

Every room smells fresh and beautiful and has lovely flowers in it.

The herb garden has been well tended!

(Humming a merry tune)

I'll just bring these strewing herbs for the floors, to keep things nice. After that, looks like a bath for me!

Oh, is that you, Faramir? Yes, of course you may come up to my room. I just got in some new Herbals, and perhaps you'd like to see what I've done in the Paradise Room? If you don't mind, I could use a little help scrubbing that spot on my back that I never can quite reach...
 

*is relieved that there is no such thing as jealousy in the wenches tavern*

*decides to go for a long leisurely walk in the woods with Legolas just to prove her point*
 

I'm not going to announce this to the world, only the wenches.

I got engaged this weekend. Woo Hoo! My finger is soooooo heavy this morning.

Legolas...my love, I must share you with another man.

Alas, he's not an elf. He's mortal.

edited...because I said FAIRY....I meant ELF...geesh!

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited January 27, 2003).]
 

*squeal*

A bridal shower in the tavern! We must get to planning!
 

Ni!
 

quote:

---

Legolas...my love, I must share you with another man.

---

Tammy, Tammy. I though you were the one who got engaged?

Congratulations, by the way.

[This message has been edited by Vána (edited January 27, 2003).]
 

Okay, they must share me.

Oh...I don't know.

Okay...Legolas my love, we're over. I'm marrying a mortal.

*weeps for not being an elf*

[This message has been edited by Tammy (edited January 27, 2003).]
 

Heard about Tammy's good news Congrats Tammy!

I think I'd like some of that stew right now.

 

Congratulations, Tammy! *hugs*

~Jane~
 

I need some snuggle time in front of the fire. Any elves or rangers volunteer to make me feel better?

Jenny, perhaps you could recommend a good soothing herbal tea. Some hot tea in front of the fire with some nice company followed by a strawberry bubble bath might make things easier to cope with.
 

The Wenches will be sending dinner up to your room. Come back down whenever you're ready.

((ElvenWench))
 

Elves have very strong hands, must be from all the archery.

The lavender bath was perfect and your chamomile tea is always sublime, Dear Jenny.

I love this place.
 

I heard a rumor and I thought I'd check it out myself

Congrats Tammy!
 

It's nice to come to place like the tavern and take comfort. In a place that exists outside time, one can forget your cares for a while.

I think I'll sip some cocoa over here by the fire.

Perhaps some of the elves would sing for us to soothe our troubled souls tonight.
 

Thats Ok, legolas, you can always chill with us in the Wizards Bachelors Pad...

Unless they turn it all poofy for the wedding...

We'll probably leave the bachelor pad alone, but the rest of the tavern will be VERY poufy for the bridal shower.
 

Count me in on the decorations.
 

:smiles hesitantly:
 

Stick around we're getting ready for a bridal shower later...

Right now come on and sit by me at the fire and have some hot chocolate. I think we bothe need it from the week end we had.
 

Bridal shower, eh? Always up for a good bridal shower! Will this one be frilly or raucous? Who's getting married?
 

We are decorating "poufy" to quote Belle. But you can bet we'll degrad from there.
 

Q.
 

I think it will ease my soul as much as it may ease yours.

I think that decorating for a bridal shower will also help ease our souls.
 

Welcome to the Tavern.
 

:demonstrates singing ability with high, lilting voice that doesn't sound like it could possibly come from someone with such a seemingly dark personality:
 

I wonder where the elves are today.

 

Welcome to the tavern, I hope you like it as much as we do.

The elves will be back later, I sent them on some errands. I'm almost out of champagne in the wine cellar, and you can't have a bridal shower without some champagne punch. Elrond has the best champagne around, so the elves are going to Rivendell to collect some.

I also sent a few of the Lorien elves back home to get some more of Galadriel's special-blend strawberry bubble bath.

 

I've just booked the Fellowship All-Male Revue for the bachelorette party. All the weapons, very little cloth.
 

I vote Icarus in...of course, I don't know about sharing him with the rest of you...
 

The names are: Gandalf the Grey, who specializes in fireworks; Legolas Greenleaf, who knows how to hit the right target; Gimli, son of Gloin, who delves deep; Aragorn, son of Arathorn, who ranges everywhere; Boromir of Gondor, who is a doughty man; Frodo Baggins, who rises to his duty; Meriadoc Brandybuck, who is as merry as his name; Pippin Took, who gets his hands on things; and Samwise Gamgee, who knows about growing things.
 

::snags ranger and horse::
We're just going for a ride.

Ni!
 

I remember a fantasy at wenchcon that included Gimli
 

dingle dingle dingle

That is all.
 

do y'all have any room for forlorn fair maidens?
 

Why Elvenwench what a thought.
 

Empty and dusty!! We have all been much too busy elsewhere this winter.
Takes out broom and begins to sweep....
 

Sorry. I've just been a little distracted. Excuse me, boys.

And T_Smith.. I'm Jenny, the one and only. There's another poster who goes by Jeni, and people often get us confused. (added by edit)

[This message has been edited by Jenny Gardener (edited February 06, 2003).]
 

Welcome, Shan!
 

I'm pretty handy with a dustrag -
 

oh - that looks perfect . . .

(takes self into corner, curls up in cloak, and promptly - and indelicately - apologies all - snores)
 

I suppose I could use some help in the kitchen. I assume you are good at Hobbit dishes? I've been the only Hobbit Wench for too long. I'd love a bit of company.

You look familiar. Have we met?
 

*Looks Olivet over carefully*
You look familiar too, maybe we've met in another life???
 

http://www.haldir-lives.org/
 

"Ah - what a waste of elf warrior that was - I really don't understand Galadriel sometimes."

Shakes head, locates dustrag, and begins dusting.
 

Shan, there are plenty of rooms free, one or two Hobbit-sized, and the rest for Big People.
 

Do manyof the hobbits visit here?
 

We had Bilbo for a good long time just recently, but we do get the Hobbits of the Fellowship quite often.

Especially Merry and Pippin, though Sam does bring in Frodo when he needs a rest from fretting over the poor dear.
 

Edit: Stupid UBB code.

~Jane~

[This message has been edited by JaneX (edited February 09, 2003).]
 

At your service, Lady Gardener. I am Bees the Handywench ready to do work that needs doing. Did I hear you say you had clippings to be cleaned up?

*sweeps the walk and paths with a few whisks*

How about weeding? Pruning? Repairs? Repainting? Do you have enough sheds? I can whip up a shed in a day if you have the necessity and materials onhand.

*stands all smiles and at attention*
 

Actually, I've been cooped up inside the Tavern for a bit too long. I think I'll help out here, too, if that's alright.
 

Where's my gloves? My trowel. My frothy beer for those mandatory breaks . . .
 

I've raked the leaves under the oak on the west end and cleaned the lily pond of debris. The lawn furniture appears to be in need of some repainting before the spring crowds arrive. Who is in charge of keeping inventory on hammocks, teacarts, and lawn games?
 

*Goodness, thought I'd never find the wenches tavern, People we can never be too serious*
 

A most productive day. I feel invigorated! I feel...ZZZ...
 

*Wanders off looking for convivial and lively conversation, frothy beer mug held tightly in fist*
 

*But only for a moment*
 

*looks around, sees pump and lack of people*

I was sleeping??!! I fell asleep? Why did no one wake me? Oh, the shame of it...and beside the pump, too. I suppose everyone walked around and over me trying to use it. Oh, in the way again!

*brushes herself off and hurries inside through the kitchen door*

I beg your pardon, everyone. Here I came to help and I neglect work to be done. Oh, the shame of it all...

*spots pitcher of lemonade on table, quickly arranges glasses and straws on a tray, hurries off to find Fellowship*

Oh, they must be dying of thirst, and I've been snoozing away by the pump...Oh, shame on my head--

*Passes mirror in hall*

Aahh!! *...another look...* Gaaaaah! What was I thinking??

*disappears with tray into nearest WC, slams door*
 

someone had posted a link to ROTK pictures somewhere, and now i can't find it.

Becky is sick, and her brain is only barely working today.

thankies.

Ni!
 

The Fellowship are very nice around here.

Excuse me I think I see Gandalf coming. I am sure he just might need a bubble bath..
 

Ni!
 

Ah, now Ara--Err, the Fellowship won't be alarmed.

*heads off down the hall again with lemonade*

*passes bouquet of daisies, plucks one out and tucks it behind her ear*

*whistles merrily*
 

*smiles after her newest Wench*
 

We seem to be running a little short on inventory in the wine cellar. Looks like someone lifted a few casks without telling me.

*glares in the direction of the Gondorian rangers*

*several rangers refuse to meet her eyes*

I think it's about time we had a chat with Faramir. NOt that I think he had anything to do with it.

*smiles beatifically at Faramir*

It's just that I think he needs to have a word with his men about discipline.
 

*shrugs*

Honorary Wenches! We need your assistance at the stables. Eomer and I have been out riding, and these dear Mearas need to be taken care of.

*Staggers bow-legged toward the Tavern with a big grin on her face. Eomer is laughing.*
 

Hey I'm going up to take a nice long bubble bath....
Anybody got any good plans for the weekend?
 

I'b thick

*shuffles over to a chair by the fire and props her furry toes on the hearthstone*

*delicately blows her red nose into a hanky*

*moans miserably*
 

For now, just go ahead and rest here by the fire. Poor girl.
 

THag you very buch.

*sips*

*sigh*
 

*pat pat*

~Jane~
 

::Falls asleep::

Ni!
 

More tea?

This horrible weather and all these sicknesses going around have surely kept the tavern quiet. We need to have a soothing evening.

Roaring fires, hot soup, warm fresh bread, lots of medicinal teas, and some nice elven music.
 

*eats some food*

Thank you.

*goes back to bed*
 

"Ah, spring, when young lasses thoughts turn lightly to thoughts of . . . "

*sighs*

Its not spring! Ground Hogs Day says I still got 3 more weeks of hibernation till official spring.

*wonders where all the downstair Bachelors went off to*

Darn it, if they all went and got married While I Was Sleeping... *clenches fists*

I guess that would make me The Bachelor. But then again, What About Bob? Has he posted on this thread? Bob is such a Meatball.
 

"I would suggest putting away the calendar and looking at the proof in front of your eyes. Aren't they beautiful?"

*Bends down and gently caresses a purple crocus bud.*
 

*sneezes*
 

*sneezes*

*accepts hanky offered by nearby gentlehobbit*

What's that? Sam made me some chicken mushroom broth? How lovely!

Edit:I simply cannot spell! Must be the cold

[This message has been edited by Olivet (edited February 27, 2003).]
 

I much prefer roasted will anyway.

*a wild will Bounces past*
*uses Forces of Nature to hunt some will*

Now thats some Good Will Hunting.

Who's hungry?
 

"We will tie him (actually her) down and give him (her) a spanking."
 

I don't know about mushrooms, but chocolate sure hits the spot when I'm feeling a little insane ( said in best sales (wo)man voice)

I've got all kinds for less then you'd ever imagine!

I've got white, dark, milk, white with nuts, dark with nuts, milk with nuts, white with caramel, dark with caramel, milk with caramel,

and my personal favorite...(bum, bum bum) triangle chocolate! plus much much more!

Soooooooo, step right up and try Toblerone's all natural choc-o-late!!!!!!
<pants after saying all this in one breath>

[This message has been edited by Toblerone (edited February 27, 2003).]
 

Here is a set of pictures from some magazine or another.

But *here* is a set that nearly made me faint.

*runs up to the Lilac Room to compose herself*
 

*fans self*

I think that fever may be coming back... or maybe it's just the company.
 

::falls over::

Ni!
 

That smile, those eyes....

*swoons*

did I tell y'all that Viggo joined me in a dream the other night????
 

I know I'm weird, but I like his throat. And his chin. He's got kind of a long neck for a guy.

*wonders if there is a subset of fanfic featuring Hobbit Vampires*

*giggles uncontrolably*

What, exactly, is in this 'medicinal' tea?
 

mm.

Ni!

 

Well, enough of that train of thought - there's work to be done.

*grabs gardening tools and gloves and heads back outside, whistling jauntily*

MWAHAHAHAHA!
 

That one of him peeking out of the blanket is adorable! I love it!

~Jane~
 

--xnera
 

Now I shall rule while everybody else sighs after them.

*polishes rings of power*
 

please buy chocolate.....please I beg....I have so little to sell, but what I do have is good....so good...precioussssssss

I'm tired...... so tired of selling chocolate
 

*tries to eat his chocolate*

Darn it, its simply Unbreakable.

*12 Monkeys steal his chocolate*

Hey, come back here you Bandits!

*runs off after those Jackals*
 

< runs after him >
 

I think we should be sure to have plenty of tea and wine available, not to mention comfort foods! (The best part is, comfort food in the Tavern is always fat and calorie free - no worries!)

Elves, our dear ElvenWench is particularly fond of your company. Perhaps we can have some singing? Though you hardly need to prepare for that. Just...keep it in mind.

Alright, everyone, let's get to it! I'll be outside gathering flowers and fresh herbs, to pretty the place up and make it smell nice. Jenny Gardner, perhaps you can harvest some of your lovely vegetables? And perhaps the hobbit lasses can go gather some mushrooms? Is anyone willing to sweep, and perhaps help clean up the kitchen?

If we all work together, we can make this coming week an extra lovely one!
 

To make this week perfectly lovely, all you need to do is buy some choc-o-late (said in sales man voice once again)

Jenny Gardener take your pick - I have many - but remember it's not free you have to pay me, that way, I can eventually stop traveling to sell this stupid stuff and open my own shop. (sigh) can see it now.....
 

What flowers will our despairing wench like best?

It's a little limited due to the earliness of the season - but oh! look here!

*Delicately plucks a perfect purple crocus and several miniature daffodils.*

I do, however, love building things and working with tools.

I've made a workbench for all you gardeners, where you can organize your garden tools and work on replotting plants.

Here's a garden swing where we can gather with friends to relax and catch up on each others' lives.

And a gazebo is the perfect place for quiet reflection and relaxation.

Enjoy!

--xnera
 

Well, it's begun. The week of despair. I'm so fortunate to have wenches like these to help keep me cheered. You guys are the best.
 

*hugs Belle and gives her a flower*

~Jane~
 

They're wonderful!

We're not too much on upseting those broads upstairs. You can crash down here in the basement if it bugs `em.
 

Can't let that happen.

~Jane~
 

Ni!
 

I'm still in the searching-for-suitable-fabric stages of my cloak...I wish I could drive, so I wouldn't have to depend on my parents to take me everywhere.

~Jane~