Author
Topic: Rhetorical Questions Answered Here
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 09:35 AM
This is the spot for you to pose your rhetorical questions and have them answered, eventually, by our team of crack researchers. As soon as we can get them off of crack and into methadone replacement therapy, they'll hop all over your questions. Please be patient. Cogent responses require at least the appearance that we've spent time on it.
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Raia
Member
Member # 4700
posted March 20, 2005 09:39 AM
I think that's my favorite opening post ever.
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Joldo
Member
Member # 6991
posted March 20, 2005 09:52 AM
If Mothra fought a mutant bee in a giant wool sweater, who would win?
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Elizabeth
Member
Member # 5218
posted March 20, 2005 10:02 AM
So, class, is math important in the real world? Well---no, no hands, please, that was a rhetorical question.
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Elizabeth
Member
Member # 5218
posted March 20, 2005 10:15 AM
How can you be so stupid????
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Elizabeth
Member
Member # 5218
posted March 20, 2005 10:16 AM
Is there ever any juice in this house???
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Raia
Member
Member # 4700
posted March 20, 2005 10:17 AM
Why me??
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Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818
posted March 20, 2005 10:17 AM
quote: How can you be so stupid???? It's hard, hard work.
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Speed
Member
Member # 5162
posted March 20, 2005 10:19 AM
What the hell?
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vwiggin
Member
Member # 926
posted March 20, 2005 10:19 AM
Why am I eating week old bread?
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Elizabeth
Member
Member # 5218
posted March 20, 2005 10:19 AM
Why does Dagonee think he is qualified to answer my questions???
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Dagonee
Member
Member # 5818
posted March 20, 2005 10:20 AM
Because the bread was made a week ago. This isn't so hard.
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TMedina
Member
Member # 6649
posted March 20, 2005 10:22 AM
What is the law, if not rhetorical? -Trevor
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Dragon
Member
Member # 3670
posted March 20, 2005 10:31 AM
Why is Bob so amazingly funny?
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Megan
Member
Member # 5290
posted March 20, 2005 10:38 AM
I hope it's ok if I ask more than one... Why do they always discontinue the hair products that actually work on my hair as soon as I've gotten comfortable with them? Why do the doors on teeny, tiny bathroom stalls open inward, leaving no room in the stall for the actual person?
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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ketchupqueen
Member
Member # 6877
posted March 20, 2005 11:26 AM
Because it's part of an evil conspiracy against curly-haired people. Because they were designed by men. That's also why a 3:2 ratio of bathrooms or bathroom space is not required by law (more for women), so we can get out in at least half the time of men.
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AntiCool
Member
Member # 7386
posted March 20, 2005 11:27 AM
quote: What the hell? Hell the place go damned souls.
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Little_Doctor
Member
Member # 6635
posted March 20, 2005 11:39 AM
Why do 24-hour stores have locks on the doors?
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Joldo
Member
Member # 6991
posted March 20, 2005 11:53 AM
Why was my question more hypothetical than rhetorical?
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vwiggin
Member
Member # 926
posted March 20, 2005 11:55 AM
*gnaws hard bread*
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Icarus
Member
Member # 3162
posted March 20, 2005 11:57 AM
Was this really necessary? Why does nobody seem to know what a rhetorical question is?
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mothertree
Member
Member # 4999
posted March 20, 2005 11:58 AM
Do you think money just grows on trees?
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vwiggin
Member
Member # 926
posted March 20, 2005 12:05 PM
Do I look like an idiot?
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rivka
Member
Member # 4859
posted March 20, 2005 12:17 PM
Why do you all keep looking at me like that?
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Meshugener
Member
Member # 7601
posted March 20, 2005 12:30 PM
rivka, its because you've got some crumbs on your lip.
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Mormo
Member
Member # 5799
posted March 20, 2005 12:38 PM
Rivka, for me it's because I find paranoia endearingly attractive.
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rivka
Member
Member # 4859
posted March 20, 2005 12:39 PM
*surreptitiously checks for crummies*
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Teshi
Member
Member # 5024
posted March 20, 2005 01:37 PM
quote: Rhetorical Questions Answered Here Why are you not answering any of our questions?
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Raia
Member
Member # 4700
posted March 20, 2005 01:40 PM
Bob, you need to pick up the slack here.
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:19 PM
quote: If Mothra fought a mutant bee in a giant wool sweater, who would win? The answer depends on how one parses the above query. If Mothra is the one wearing the giant wool sweater, the bee wins because Mothra's wings would be pinned. If the bee is wearing the giant wool sweater, Mothra wins because, basically, the bee would be smothered by the wool sweater and Mothra could just eat through at her leisure. Thanks for your question.
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:21 PM
quote: is math important in the real world? What is this "real world" of which you speek? Fortunately for you, math is important in the fantasy world where most students reside. Thanks for your question. [ March 20, 2005, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:23 PM
quote: How can you be so stupid???? Let me count the ways... Thanks for your question.
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:23 PM
quote: Is there ever any juice in this house??? Yes. Thanks for your question.
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:26 PM
quote: Why me?? Really, sometimes it just seems that way. But this time, it really is that way. We took a vote and you were selected to bear the brunt of all existence. Surely you got the memo.
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:27 PM
quote: What the hell? Look again. Try under the couch. You'll figure it out.
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Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227
posted March 20, 2005 06:29 PM
quote: Why am I eating week old bread? Hunger, combined with laziness and a depletion of discretionary funds. I'd say you've been on Hatrack way too long and are unemployed. Thanks for you question.
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dread pirate romany
Member
Member # 6869
posted March 20, 2005 07:37 PM
No, Bob, it doesn't matter who is wearing the wool sweater. Mothra has a name and the giant mutant bee doesn't. Mothra wins. Besides, does the bee have fairies that sing a special song for it? Edit: grammar [ March 20, 2005, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: dread pirate romany ]
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Kama
Member
Member # 3022
posted March 21, 2005 08:10 AM
is there a Dog named Rat?
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Lady Jane
Member
Member # 7249
posted March 21, 2005 11:45 AM
quote: quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What the hell? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hell the place go damned souls.
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Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383
posted March 21, 2005 12:09 PM
Don't you have anything better to do?
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Megan
Member
Member # 5290
posted March 21, 2005 12:18 PM
quote: Because it's part of an evil conspiracy against curly-haired people. I KNEW IT! *gasps and glares at all the straight-haireds* And you're in on it too, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?! Yes, I mean you!
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TMedina
Member
Member # 6649
posted March 21, 2005 12:31 PM
Actually, I am. -Trevor
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ketchupqueen
Member
Member # 6877
posted March 21, 2005 12:33 PM
*bashes Trevor with a giant kidney stone and a hot straightening iron*
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The Pixiest
Member
Member # 1863
posted March 21, 2005 01:20 PM
What's WRONG with you people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lady Jane
Member
Member # 7249
posted March 21, 2005 01:23 PM
WHAT was I THINKING???
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Megan
Member
Member # 5290
posted March 21, 2005 01:23 PM
quote: Actually, I am. *glare of death*
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jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014
posted March 21, 2005 03:09 PM
How long now, Catiline, will you abuse our patience?
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