This is a thing I wrote. For my girlfriend. At 3:00 am. I plan on showing it her if its good. I hope it is. I'm not very good at this sort of thing. Nor am I very poetic...and...stuff.... So I'm afraid that its horrible. Which I hope it isn't. 'Cause it was really hard. Since I, you know, am not very good at this sort of thing.
At all.
Especially since it didn't really start out as something I would show her. Just sort of... Random. Then I decided that the whole point was to show her. Except it may not be good...
Which would be bad...
Anyway...
****
For Angela:
He sits at His desk trying to avoid the clutter of epty Dr. Pepper cans. In front of Him is a journal. There is something He wants to write, to say, although He doesn not yet know what it is. He does, however, have an idea of what it may be about. In an efort to reveal the specific topic, He decides to write anything that comes to mind about the general topic.
It started in an auditorium. The room was mostly empty exceot fir those who were earky for rehearsal. He sat in the leftmost section, four or five rows from the sage, rightmost seat.
In retrospect, the moment was sort of romantic; it could almost have come out of a book. He was resting, getting rid of the fatigue the day had caused in preparation for musical practice. She had walked up to Him and began talking to Him. He did not know Her, and vice versa. He was initially annoyed, and, in fact, remained that way throughout the short conversation. He generally disliked new people, especially those that He had no reason to see again.
She had persisted, however, and talked to Him again after school. After realizing that He may be forced to get to know this Girl, He decided He would have to learn Her name. Not wanting to embarass Her by asking for Her name (which She may have thought He knw), He instead attempted to read the name on Her ID. Unfortunately, He was unable to do so without looking like He was staring at Her chest, so he gave up. He remained unaware of Her name until He noticed She was in His 6th hour class and paid attention to the name She answered to at roll call.
Over the next several months, the Two became relatively close friends - extending even outside of school, a rarity in His case. Although They only saw one another a single time in the summer break, They began talking an joking like before once school began again.
It was during the new school year that He had begun to perceive her differently. Although others had previously accused Him of wishing for something more between Them, He had denied it honestly. However, Had had begun to change His mind.
They sat next to each other in Their 5th hour class. They would joke and tease and pass notes. He began to look forward to his English class, and not for the teacher's "enlightening" lectures. Since Their 6th hour rooms were next to each other, They began to walk together. He wished that the length of the walk was longer. He regretted never having an excuse to wait for Her after school. So He asked Her out. To His immediate and utter delight, She said yes.
Although not as much as He would wish, He sees Her more often, and it is always the highlight of His day. He even looks forward to phone calls with Her, despite that being His least favorite form of communication. Even just the mention, or thought of Her makes Him smile.
He stops. he realizes now what He wants to say. He smiles at the idea of letter Her read this as He lowers his pen once more to write:
I love you, Angela
From Robert
*****
....So? Really bad? Rereading it.. I'm not sure I liked it... reallly awkward. Maybe I'm being overly critical?
But maybe I'm not?
Should I just get rid of everything before "I?"
But I think she might enjoy it.
But maybe not.
Should I rewrite it, only not at 3:00 am and fully aware that I would be planning on showing her it?
posted
It will make more sense if you put paragraph breaks. I realize there are hard returns, but putting a line between the paragraph will help people read it better.
Posts: 666 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
I think this sounds wonderful. I would love to get that from someone I loved. Definitely send it to her.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I liked it. Just a few spelling errors, and I didn't understand why you capitalized stuff. But it sounded okay.
Posts: 925 | Registered: Nov 2004
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