The following is a paid political announcement from Americans for a Nicer America, a citizen's interest group formed for the sole purpose of paying for this commercial.
"Hello, I'm a candidate for an elected position. I believe in family, tradition, and God, whenever anybody's watching, and that's more than you'll get from my opponent if even half of the stuff I made up about him is true.
"I have served the needs of my constituents -- keeping in mind that my accountant, car dealer, bookie, and mistress are all registered voters in my district -- and I stand proudly on the parts of my record that I'll let you see. Big changes are necessary to bring this country around to the direction I want to go, and there's every chance that the people of America might benefit accidentally.
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Chris
