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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » "Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story"

   
Author Topic: "Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story"
Dan_raven
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No, not from the Washington Post or New York Times.

Its from the star of "Anaconda's: Hunt for the Blood Orchid".

Here's the quotes

Basically, the movie involves giant man-eating Anaconda's in Borneo.

Are there Anaconda's in Borneo? No.

Are there any snakes in Borneo? No.

Do Anaconda's ever grow that large? No.

Do Anaconda's eat grown humans? No.

"The audience shouldn't care if the facts are not even close to being correct." Well, obviously the producers didn't.

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Noemon
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Does the plural of "anaconda" ever need an apostrophe? No.

[Big Grin] Sorry Dan--the structure of the response, once it popped into my head, was just too perfect to pass up.

[ August 16, 2004, 03:25 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

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PSI Teleport
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The phrase "Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story" does not apply to THIS story, I'm sure. I wonder what the rules are on facts and truly terrible stories?
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Dan_raven
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I apologize for the apostrophes. Its hard to write well when laughing.

I was going to change the title of this thread when I realized I had put the word "Good" up there. I decided to keep it as satire, or is that irony, no, no, it is definately laziness.

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sndrake
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The producer has issued a response:

Basically, the movie involves giant man-eating Anaconda's in Borneo.

Are there Anaconda's in Borneo?
The truth is that no snakes have been discovered in Borneo yet.

Are there any snakes in Borneo?
(see previous answer)

Do Anaconda's ever grow that large?
Narrow-minded Western scientists have not acknowledged any "proof" of giant Anacondas.

Do Anaconda's eat grown humans?
Well, a certain number of people go missing each year in Borneo and they must have gone somewhere. Scientists won't be looking into the bellies of creatures whose existence they refuse to admit any time soon. You can't deny the possibility just because there's no evidence - yet.

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Storm Saxon
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Actually, I totally agree with Mr. Messner. If the facts get in the way of the story, change the facts. Now, it might be interesting to speculate on how the story could have been changed in order to accomodate the facts. However, this doesn't change the basic truth of his statement.
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BannaOj
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so which sequel is going to be worse? this or baby genius?

AJ

[ August 16, 2004, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]

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sndrake
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quote:
so which sequel is going to be worse? this or baby genius?

The real question is just what unfortunate soul or souls get to be the ones who find out.

*Taking one step back to make sure I'm not mistaken for a volunteer*

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Dagonee
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But don't change facts that don't need to be changed. Making the snakes giant is fine - it's the basis for lots of animal-monster stories. But why Borneo? At least tell us someone was breeding them as weapons and they got loose. Or just set the damn movie in South America.

Dagonee

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TheTick
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Yup. Doing this way means the director/writers were just sitting around saying things like this:
'Borneo sounds like a cool word, let's set it there'
'But they don't have Anacondas!'
'YOU'RE FIRED!!!'

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Dead_Horse
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And is it just coincidence that the letters in "sndrake" can be rearranged to spell "Dr. Snake"? Has he been doing research in Borneo? And is it true that his faithful assistant disappeared after discovering evidence of huge reptile droppings in his office? This bears investigating!
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Noemon
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That would explain the sndrake shaped skin that Kamaconners reported finding tucked away in a dark corner of that activities type room they rented!

It would also explain the total absence of any rodents in the hotel, wouldn't it? And why he didn't seem so hungry at dinner!

[ August 16, 2004, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

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Lost Ashes
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Ya see, this kid in Borneo, he bought a baby Anaconda back in the '50s and his mom didn't like it, so she flushed it down the toilet...

And well, yanno, how these things happen.

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Dan_raven
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Don't forget that Borneo is also a testing ground for top secret atomic bomb/dna/alien technology labratories for the CIA, KGB, Illuminati, and Kellogs brand Cereals.
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ae
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I want Illuminati brand cereal.
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Noemon
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You've been eating it all along, ae. You just weren't aware of it.
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Dan_raven
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oooh, I got milk in my all seeing eye and it got all soggy.
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sndrake
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quote:
That would explain the sndrake shaped skin that Kamaconners reported finding tucked away in a dark corner of that activities type room they rented!

That wasn't my skin!!!

That's what was left of some other poor soul after the chewy and gooey inner goodness had been devoured...

So I surmise.

[Smile]

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Dan_raven
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And when the reinflated the husk, using a portable balloon pump, did he look like a well know and loved writer?
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