posted
As I've mentioned, I work mornings in the office of the school where I teach in the afternoons. The main person (let's call her Nancy Baker) in the office, who is there all day, has quite a number of issues that make me (and not just me!) nuts. This post is only about one of them, though.
Yesterday, when I got to work, I discovered that she was not there. (She apparently left a message on my cell on and home numbers, but not the one at school. ??) Seems she has a cold, and was feeling unwell.
So I stayed in the office an extra hour, and was able to be there for the last hour of the day as well (not something I would usually be able to do, but it worked out yesterday). The rest of the afternoon was pretty much nuts -- one of the principals, in an adjacent office, dealt with some things; a teacher was in the office for a bit; and mostly things just slid. (Large chunk of time with no one answering the phones, for instance.)
She just called to let me know that she's "still feeling weak" (good grief, it's a COLD, get over yourself!) and won't be coming in this morning. Maybe this afternoon. She feels that if she doesn't take proper care of herself, she won't be able to fully recover for weeks.
This is not the first time she has pulled this kind of thing. To some degree I think it is a power thing -- "See! You can't manage without me!" -- and it does seem to happen mostly shortly after she's been complaining about being asked to do too much, or not appreciated.
Funny, my allergies have been in overdrive for the last 10 days or so, but I've been managing to be there. (And man do I hear about it from her when I'm out, even though I generally give her quite a bit of notice.)
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Aww...I'm sorry, Rivka. I feel some sympathy for her, though - I'm just now getting over a cold, and that didn't happen until I stayed on the couch with cough medicine, Kleenex, and season one of 24 for four days. She may be right about needing to stay rested.
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If she didn't pull this quite so frequently (and then tell me often what great health she's in ), I'd be far more sympathetic.
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Does she lose pay when she is out, or does she have a given number of sick days? Some smaller businesses don't feel the need to do things like that, but I think it's more fair to everybody when there are policies about these things. I feel like things tend to work out in the long run then. I don't care much if somebody has a lower threshhold (sp?) on when to take a sick day, or even if they take them when they are not sick, because there will come a time when they run out of them, so they are making their own bed, basically. (On the other hand, there are life's "inequities" that no policy can balance. For instance, with two special needs kids, I rarely take a day off for myself, but I usually run out of sick days anyway. A single person in good health can take a day off a lot more casually than I can. But I know someone will just come in here and point out that it was my choice to have kids . . . life is about those choices, after all.)
Anyway, though, that sucks for you. Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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I know just how that goes, Rivka. You've got my sympathy. Go do something nice for yourself to compensate.
Actually, the workplace thing that irritates me most is what happened to me when I was working in retail. There were people in that store who would just not show up, or call in two or three hours after they were scheduled to be there, for trivial stuff - not even illness - and that was just fine with management. Meanwhile, I even managed to get to work on time the day my car conked out in the middle of the street as I was on my way to work. But, the one time I called in sick (I had the flu, with a wicked sore throat and no voice at all, and had made an appointment with the doctor), I was told, "No, you have to come in. Someone else already called in." They knew I was sick. I had gotten sick at work the day before. But I was supposed to suck it up and come in anyway.
I didn't go, and I came pretty close to getting fired over it. But the others, who didn't even bother to call in and just didn't show up (one employee did this at least once a week), never suffered any consequences at all.
Anyway, sorry for stepping on your rant with one of my own, Rivka, but several years after the fact, this still ticks me off.
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quote:So it's better that she shares her cold with everyone in school?
Usually, if I'm not mistaken, by the time you exhibit cold symptoms the contagious period is already past. Staying home while you're suffering with a cold won't spare anyone.
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A cold's most contagious period is from the onset of a runny nose until the fever is gone. In adults (less likely to experience a fever), the most contagious period is 2to3days after the initial symptoms.
Colds are also the most common trigger of asthma, which is relevant to a significant portion of today's FirstWorld children.
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If she comes in to work in a few days and starts relating to you her harrowing experience with the terror that is the common cold I suggest you create a vodoo doll with her likeness and possibly some of her hair and then stick it with pins.
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It sounds like she might have a pattern, but I will tell you my perspective on this anyway.
Why should your workload increase if she is absent? The situation is a set-up for people to drag themselves in when they are sick, and for those who stay home when they feel crappy to be considered leeches, because there is no substitute. If it is a problem for you, suggest that they hire a temp when someone is out.
One of my "odors"(to take Farmgirl's metaphor) is workplace martyrdom.
[ January 18, 2005, 05:54 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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On the way in to work, I realized that today is Tuesday -- the day I was scheduled to take my son to the orthopedist to have his cast removed. No way in heck I was rescheduling THAT. So as soon as I got in, I called the principal's cell, and left him a message reminding him that I was leaving in an hour, and that Ms. Baker wasn't coming in until midday, if then. (She'd left a message for him earlier, but I figured I should mention it.)
At 9:30, got one of the two young women who run our, um, <untranslatable word here> program to babysit the main office until the principal (who had called back and said he would be in soon) showed, and left.
When I got back at noon-ish (to teach), Ms. Baker was at her desk. Terribly weak, she told me, but there.
quote: Does she lose pay when she is out, or does she have a given number of sick days?
I have no idea. She is on salary (I am not (for office work -- my teaching is salaried); I get paid by the hour) and must have negotiated something in terms of sick/vacation days when she got the job. But I am not privy to it.
quote: So it's better that she shares her cold with everyone in school?
Where do you suppose she most likely picked it up? Besides, while I'm sure she had a cold, I must say she seemed remarkably asymptomatic this afternoon.
quote: I read this thread right after I wrote my landmark post -- and this fits so perfectly hand-in-glove.
GMTA! Your landmark is next thread on my list.
HS and lma, I like how you think! Hmmm . . . I got shoes the last time . . . *ponders*
Oh, and lma, I figure one good rant deserves another.
quote: Rivka, admit it. You work with my mother.
She claims to only have sons. But I've only met the one . . .
Hobbes, would you happen to have directions on how to make one?
quote: Why should your workload increase if she is absent? The situation is a set-up for people to drag themselves in when they are sick, and for those who stay home when they feel crappy to be considered leeches, because there is no substitute. If it is a problem for you, suggest that they hire a temp when someone is out.
I have, repeatedly. Agreeing noises get made, a few phone calls even . . . and nothing really happens. Until the next time Ms. Baker is out sick. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Essentially, yes, Dags. It's not that I don't think she had a cold. It's more that I think she's used it as an excuse not to come in when she could have managed to do so quite reasonably.
And yes, this is absolutely based on her patterns of behavior, which are passive-aggressive in the extreme.
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I know I am a terrible person who has called in sick to work last week simply because it was snowing... I have to walk to work 2 miles out in all sorts of weather, on several occasions I have walked through snowstorms on the side of the road. I felt guilty. I always feel guilty for calling in, even if I feel terrible, I think, perhaps I am only faking because I HATE my job so much. Even if I am coughing or something or have the 24 hour headache. Plus, if I call in it makes things very difficult for the people at work, and if I come to work and leave early, well, I work with food. I would feel even worse infecting small children and old ladies. The point is, perhaps you need to confront her head on and ask her if she dislikes her job or something. Perhaps she needs to find a better job so she doesn't have to call in over a little cold or something... Plus, do you have to take all the work on your shoulder? Is there a way that someone else can help you?
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Syn, I am rcovering from a near death bout with encephalitis, and I feel guilty every freaking day. It makes me so mad at myself!(hence the "odor.") Luckily, because I am not like Rivka's work partner, I never call in sick, so I had 77 days built up. Unluckily, the reason I got the illness in the first place is because I let a cold develop into an infection which triggered the illness. Not meaning to say this for a pity party AT ALL, but just pointing out the extent to which martydom in the workplace is screwed up. Though it probably points out that I am. ha ha.
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I did not know a cold could develope into an infection... It seems like my colds have gotten... more intense. When I worked Acorps i'd get a bit annoyed at people who came to work with colds because we were stuck in a dusty tiny little office with poor ventilation, so it would men I'd catch the cold in seconds. One time I went to work with a cold and had some sort of panic attack, freaked me out. I could not breathe and there were lacy patterns. It was just a silly cold symptom though, so I finished the day and went home and slept a lot...
Does she maybe get really severe colds? Like the one I had that cost me a gas station job, but the gas station job made me get that cold in the first place >.<.
And don't feel guitly. At least you have a work ethic, unlike me. All I want to do is sit around all day long and read while drinking Earl grey tea.
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Syn, it was a sinus infection. I tend to have/get sinusitis. Sometimes, sinus infections develop because of an excess of bacteria from all the goop.
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My doctor believes that even virus (usually cold) induced sinus irritation will lead to bacterial infections if the problem continues for more than a week.
And Liz, you are NOT to feel guilty! Especially if you built up 77 sick days.
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Wow, 77 sick days!? You must have NEVER taken off days for being sick!
Syn, I have every reason to believe she is not only unhappy with the job, but somewhat depressed in general. However, she's not big on doctors, and prefers self-medicating with herbals (potentially dangerous, IMO) and homeopathics (truly useless (again, IMO)).
And they aren't going to fire her in the middle of the school year, unless she does something TRULY egregious.
I don't know that they're likely to rehire her for another year, though.
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Depends on the herbs, homeopathy I don't agree with. It's better to have an expert with that anyway. She could do something like drink datura seed tea and hallucinate and... Perhaps you can recommend that she not get rehired.. It is clear she is not doing the best jobs, does she at least do a good job when she is in?
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I don't need to recommend anything. The sad thing is, I am probably the member of the staff who complains the LEAST about her to the principals. (And it's not just because I vent here. I do speak to one or the other of the principals about ongoing issues, when I think it is useful/necessary.)
<many paragraphs ranting about her edited out here>
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Sometimes it really sucks being so responsible, doesn't it? Self-care is the hardest thing in the world for me frequently- and what makes it harder is my anger and disgust and resentment at those (such as your office gal) that take self-care to an extreme. Grrrr.
I often bite my tongue on saying, "You're out for a little sniffle? And I am here everyday despite . . . blaeah, bleah, bleah . . .
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I'll tell you what, though. I always worry at how my coworkers must view me, because I typically use up all of my sick days each year, and one or two more, even. And, because we have a shortage of substitutes in this district--we have a shortage of teachers, too, so why not?--a lot of times when I am out, other teachers do have to pick up the slack. But I always figure that they're contractually my sick days, and when I go over, I am paying the price from my paycheck, so it isn't anybody's business why.
(If there were no consequence for being absent, I can see how that would lead to abuse.)
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Icarus, do you find that there is an inherent feeling of guilt in teachers? If my husband was not home in the daytime, I would have used many more of my days up, too. He is home when they are sick, and he puts them on the bus and is there when they return home. A coworker of mine has two boys with severe ear issues. She gets so much crap when she takes time off for them, but she uses the sick time she earns. It just drives me mad to see people dragging themselves into work(even though I do it) when they don't feel well. Believe me, though, there are many teachers who take the Rivka's coworker approach, and take their sick time because it is there, for shopping or a day at the beach.
[ January 19, 2005, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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quote:Icarus, do you find that there is an inherent feeling of guilt in teachers?
I think this may be so, because we all prop ourselves up with what we feel is the social value of the work we do, and we pat ourselves on the backs by telling ourselves that we do this to change the world, or because we love kids, or whatever. Having convinced ourselves of all of this, we may take pains to avoid seeming mercenary, because that would be inconsistent with the vision of reality we want to have. This may explain why teachers are in such poor negotiating position when it comes to real change in the inequities of the system.
If we push for more money, then we're in it for the money and not for the kids. If we don't give up our vacation time, then we are in it for the time off and not for the kids. If we take our sick days, then we are not dedicated enough to the kids. If we don't take home ton of work, then we are not in it for the kids. etc etc etc
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Sick days are a dicey issue, and it depends on what side of the desk you're on, as to the way you consider it.
I have always looked at sick days as not something that I was "entitled" to, as if they were extra vacation days, but rather as something that was made available to me by my employer to help me in times when I really needed it. I always tried to let mine build up, so that if I ever experienced a catastrophic illness I would have that safety measure. Of coure, my employers used my sick time whenever I was out on maternity leave so I never got it built up very far.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with taking sick days that you've earned, it's just that when I look at it from an employer's point of view (since I are one ) I see that anybody who takes a sick day just because it's there, and they would like an extra day off, is abusing the purpose for sick days. (I'm not saying anyone in this thread does that, I'm speaking in general terms about sick time abuse)
Also, in some positions, like teachers and firefighters, taking a day off is not an insignificant thing for the employer. As much as I'd like to think I was important, when I worked as a data analyst, the worst that happened if I called in sick is that one of our marketing directors might have to wait an extra day for some sales data. Big deal.
If my husband calls in sick, then they have to take his rescue unit out of service until they can find another paramedic somewhere in the city that can be spared from his unit to fill in. So now that unit is short staffed. That is a very big deal. So big, that now the fire dept. requires anyone who takes a sick day to bring in a doctor's excuse because of abuses in the past. There is no more calling in to say "I have a cold, I think I'll stay home and rest." My husband has months of sick time built up, but he hardly ever uses it. To him, it's easier to go to work sick than it is to try and get an appointment with a doctor. Though I have at times insisted, like when he wanted to go into work and I made him sit down and take his temp first and it was 102. I put my foot down and sent him to the doctor.
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I want to abuse a sick day. Just once. I want to take a day off when I am not sick and neither are my kids and I don't have any big personal obligations and just go to the park. I'd like to do this during the time of year when the weather is nice: not too hot, and not likely to rain.
I've never done it, but someday I will. Once.
Not this year, though. Maybe next.
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unfortunately Icarus, you know as I do, that parents rarely get the chance to abuse sick days. We have to take so many to care for our kids when they're sick, never mind when we might actually be sick, there's usually not much left.
But perhaps one day, you'll be able to. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I did it once, last year. Once ever. I was so guilt-ridden I thought for sure I would be arrested or that there was a neon sign over my head saying "This woman is a lying thief!"
Now, let me tell you, I am mighty glad it was not a habit. If I use all my sick days(I think I have used 30) I will have to apply for that sick bank. Now there's some guilt in the works! Would I even blink an eye if someone needed me to donate sick days for them? I would not. But heaven forbid I use the sick bank.
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I haven't been able to join the sick leave bank since I started working in this district, because you have to carry over at least one sick day one year before you can join.
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That stinks, Icarus. Does your district have a disability plan? Ours does not, so people buy their own plan. I, of course, scoffed at the idea.
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No. The district pays for HMO and a life insurance plan, but if we want disability, we're on our own. So far, I have not bothered with it, but given the history of heart issues and other health issues in my family, I better add something like that before too many more years pass.
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Please get it, Ic. I have been so lucky, as I said, to have my husband home, and to have been healthy until this. Some plans even provide for yopur wife, if she is sick.
Edit: The woman in the romm with me for a week had a blood clot. She had had ambulance, CT scan, MRI, and five days(or six?) hospital stay. She had just started a new job, and her insurance was due to kick in five days later. Ouch!!
[ January 19, 2005, 11:43 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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My father signed up for disability insurance at his job, but it had a waiting period before it could take effect. He thought he was out of it when his doctor told him he needed to retire for his health. It would have provided him with his full working salary for a number of years.
He was a couple of weeks too soon.
Maybe next year I'll get it. The thing is that our finances have been too tight, and I've really needed the money up front. Things look better now, though, so maybe next year I will get it.
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I would say you can, because my father had already had a quadruple bypass.
Big districts and counties can get around the preexisting condition thing because of their numbers (in many cases). You may have waiting periods, and they may not cover you for expenses you already chronically have. But after you've gone back to work, I would expect that you could get disability insurance.
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There are tax consequences to how you pay your disability premiums - make sure you understand them. Generally, if you pay your taxes on the premiums, you don't pay taxes on any benefits. If you don't (usually because the employer pays the premium and doesn't pass it through on the W-2), you have to pay tax on any benefits you receive.
There's a little more too it, but someone in HR should be able to answer the question easily.
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), I'd be far more sympathetic.
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I'm sorry, Rivka.
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