I love your novels. I feel like you really understand me. You are the best writer in the world.
But...
Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, liberal hater, Blah, blah yap, yap yadda, yadda, warmonger. Mormon, homo-basher blah, blah, blah you have shattered my idealistic image of blah blah I can't respect you anymore yap yap boo hoo wine.
Sincerely, Disappointed Fan
Posted by Beanny (Member # 7109) on April 30, 2005 12:10 PM:
It might seem amusing to you, but I'm afraid Mr. Card might see this thread as offensive. I warmly recommend deleting it.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on April 30, 2005 12:32 PM:
Or redo it as a Word template. Seems like I see a thread starting like that about once a month, like clockwork.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on April 30, 2005 01:17 PM:
"It might seem amusing to you, but I'm afraid Mr. Card might see this thread as offensive."
It IS offensive, but not to Mr. Card. If he's offended by it, it would be out of sympathy for the targets of the piece.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on April 30, 2005 09:02 PM:
Posted by Cashew (Member # 6023) on May 01, 2005 06:08 AM:
Doesn't it seem ironic that this guy feels Card really understands him, but doesn't seem to understand Card at all?
Posted by Alex Lin (Member # 7667) on May 01, 2005 02:35 PM:
Umm...I think the guy was just posting a basic format containing the usual stuff that everyone who comes here whining about says. You know, the typical boring garbage. I don't think that it was an attack on OSC; I saw it more as a "Shut up, we already know what you want to say, and now there's an 'All-purpose thread' for everything you want to say, so there's no need to make a new post anymore since it's already there" post.
Basically, I think he's on our side. It seems a little /too/ sarcastic to be genuine (all the blah blah blahs?), and the fact that he already has 100 posts here means that he's a fairly active member of the community, so why would he only now post about OSC's views?
Posted by Cashew (Member # 6023) on May 01, 2005 03:43 PM:
Doesn't it seem ironic that we all thought we understood where this guy was coming from but maybe didn't understand at all?
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on May 01, 2005 04:04 PM:
quote: Doesn't it seem ironic that we all thought we understood where this guy was coming from but maybe didn't understand at all?
well, maybe Alanis Morissette ironic. Posted by SmoG (Member # 7778) on May 01, 2005 04:10 PM:
Dear Mr. Steev,
Blah Blah Blah, this has been done to death, blah blah, author's viewpoints aren't reflected in his writings, yadda yadda, artistic liscence, waaa waaa waaa free speech, shooby dooby dooby entitled to your own opinion....... and so forth.
Sincerely Shut The Hell Up
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on May 01, 2005 04:15 PM:
Dear People Who Don't Get It,
Take some English courses. That, or check your Sarcastometer settings.
Sincerely,
Me
Posted by delusional1 (Member # 7896) on May 01, 2005 04:30 PM:
"well, maybe Alanis Morissette ironic."
now that was truly amusing. i've always wondered if it was just me who was irritated by the fact that she apparently isn't sure of the true meaning of the word "ironic". thanks for making me smile.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on May 01, 2005 04:53 PM:
Dear Mr. Swift;
How dare you propose we eat babies? You should be ashamed of yourself. My family and I will never be reading your books again now that we know what a dirty, dirty animal you are.
Sincerely, Some Guy Who Doesn't Understand Satire
Posted by signine (Member # 7671) on May 01, 2005 06:20 PM:
Dear Verily,
You obviously are inexperienced in the ways of the world. Babies taste excellent with a side of ranch.
Your humble and obedient servant, Mr. Swift
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on May 02, 2005 03:50 AM:
Dear Person Pretending to Be Mr. Swift,
I think you're wrong; they are excellent with chocolate sauce or ketchup, though.
Sincerely,
Someone Who's Not Too Fond of Ranch
Posted by Steev (Member # 6805) on May 02, 2005 07:21 AM:
I like them deep fried in baby oil with a slash of vinger and salt.
Posted by Antony (Member # 7947) on May 02, 2005 11:44 AM:
[quote=beanny]It might seem amusing to you, but I'm afraid Mr. Card might see this thread as offensive. I warmly recommend deleting it. [/quote]
And why so? I expect Mr. Card has experienced the pattern of such complaints throughout his career and accepts that they exist and are liable to crop up again and again. Creating an all-purpose thread for such complaints, however toungue and cheek, is reasonable. If it is generally disliked a moderater is able to remove it.
Posted by Steev (Member # 6805) on May 02, 2005 05:35 PM:
My satire can be rather obdurate. Just one hour lurking on the Orney American forum was all I needed for fuel. If I could draw I would make political cartoons instead but I can't so I don't.
Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on May 02, 2005 11:44 PM:
Dear disappointed fan,
Can't please everyone with everything I write yadda yadda yadda. Why not try to duplicate my research to see if maybe I've seen some information you overlooked blah blah blah. This is America so it's ok to disagree with me and we can still respect each other in the morning you bdeee bdeee bdeee. I might be wrong and if I am I'll be glad your point of view was so well represented in the lockstep kneejerk American media hnnnna mnnnna mnnnna. Can I please borrow a kleenex? I think I got something in my eye <generic emotional reaction>.
Posted by Portabello (Member # 7710) on May 02, 2005 11:45 PM:
I think you broke the OSC.
Posted by Steev (Member # 6805) on May 03, 2005 06:50 PM:
It appears that the OSC likes satire as much as I.
[ May 03, 2005, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: Steev ]
Posted by Bean Counter (Member # 6001) on May 03, 2005 11:27 PM:
I real love that guy! Reminds me of a generic dunning letter Robert Heinlien wrote:
Dear Mr/Mrs Deadbeat
I trust this finds you well, how is Mrs/Mr Deadbeat and the little knotheads... etc.
See "To Sail Beyond the Sunset" for the whole of it. I got it from the beginning.
BC
Posted by estavares (Member # 7170) on May 03, 2005 11:55 PM:
I'm still focused on the eating babies thing.
Once, while eating a breaded shrimp that looked like a tiny fetus, I gave off a high pitched squeal of pain before I bit its head off––and was banned from the table by my wife.
Moral: eating babies, or even pretending, is bad on a marriage.
Posted by B-HAX (Member # 6640) on May 04, 2005 12:07 AM:
WHATEVA...abortion is wrong period .
Posted by Epictetus (Member # 6235) on May 04, 2005 02:21 AM:
estavares: next time, wait until you have a nice meal of lamb. Then while carving the meat, make little lamb noises and attempt to fit the words "mama" into it as well. Though personally I loved the fetus joke
Posted by estavares (Member # 7170) on May 04, 2005 01:25 PM:
Epi: yeah, I actually did that with a slab of beef (I'm not much of a meat eater, but my wife loves steak) and I stabbed at it with a plantive "Why, father...WHY...Mooooooo...urrk!" which again brought the infamous "Look" and loud laughter from myself and my son.
I figure if we're going to be a carnivore-based family, we might as well have fun.
[ May 04, 2005, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: estavares ]
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on June 28, 2007 11:47 AM:
Heh heh. I clicked on a link and it brought up this thread. I guess the original link was deleted, and yet it was oddly appropriate.
Posted by Moderus (Member # 10653) on July 04, 2007 03:10 AM:
Dear Mr. Card
I'm disappointed that the picture of you that accompanies every book you release doesn't look like you in the recently released "Done the Impossible: The Fan's Tales of Firefly and Serenity".
I can't think of anything more pointless and irrelevant than that. Pringles anyone? *munches chip*
Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on July 04, 2007 12:28 PM:
Must just say... I love this thread!
P.S. for years as a child I couldn't eat grapes because the they were of different sizes, so I kept humanizing them, leading to the feeling that I was eating a family!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on July 04, 2007 10:01 PM:
quote:bdeee bdeee bdeee
I missed this first time around. The use of the Beeker sound effects was inspired.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on July 04, 2007 10:12 PM:
Whatchoo talking about? That's Porky Pig!
Posted by xtownaga (Member # 7187) on July 04, 2007 11:41 PM:
quote:Originally posted by delusional1: "well, maybe Alanis Morissette ironic."
now that was truly amusing. i've always wondered if it was just me who was irritated by the fact that she apparently isn't sure of the true meaning of the word "ironic". thanks for making me smile.
I heard an interview with her awhile back where she said something along the lines of "the most ironic thing about the song ironic is that it isn't filled with ironies"... so it seems that even if she doesn't understand irony, she at least knows it.
It was still a funny comment though.
Posted by Hitoshi (Member # 8218) on July 05, 2007 02:39 AM:
Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr and Mrs. OSC:
Words cannot express the deep, personal grief I experienced when your short story, novel, essay, or novella was bad, offensive, or not to my liking.
Sincerely, Respectively, or With Love, A Disgruntled, Disappointed, or Depressed Fan, Reader, or Forumer.
P.S. <Insert dig about Mormonism here.>
Posted by Qaz (Member # 10298) on July 05, 2007 01:44 PM:
Hitoshi wins the thread!
Posted by Hitoshi (Member # 8218) on July 05, 2007 03:49 PM:
quote:Originally posted by Qaz: Hitoshi wins the thread!
Thanks, but half the credit goes to Joseph Heller. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on July 05, 2007 04:16 PM:
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee:
quote:bdeee bdeee bdeee
I missed this first time around. The use of the Beeker sound effects was inspired.
He also fit in "mmnnaa mmnnaa", which is almost "manah manah." Posted by Salsa (Member # 10530) on July 05, 2007 04:55 PM:
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee:
quote:bdeee bdeee bdeee
I missed this first time around. The use of the Beeker sound effects was inspired.
He also fit in "mmnnaa mmnnaa", which is almost "manah manah."
Haha. I liked when the UK office did that
Posted by julianD (Member # 10450) on July 06, 2007 01:43 AM:
I don't see how anyone can be disappointed in osc because of his personal beliefs on anything. The man is a great writer, he could practice voodoo and marry a grizzly bear if he wanted it wouldn't take away from the fact that i love his work. That being said i hope osc writes a autobiography real soon.
Posted by Qaz (Member # 10298) on July 06, 2007 05:26 AM:
But then one of the nicest things you could say to anyone would be "may your autobiography make dull reading"!
Posted by Qaz (Member # 10298) on July 06, 2007 05:27 AM:
Or maybe not. Agatha Christie's didn't contain a lot of gripping events (her big thing, she glossed over), but it was still good, because she was good.
Posted by skeptical scientist (Member # 10369) on July 06, 2007 08:34 PM:
quote:Originally posted by Qaz: But then one of the nicest things you could say to anyone would be "may your autobiography make dull reading"!
I'm not sure about that. Even someone with an ordinary happy life will have lots of charming and amusing anecdotes. Your life doesn't have to be full of world-changing events to make for good reading if the story is well-told. I'm sure a writer of OSC's talents could make his autobiography a very interesting and fun read. I haven't read Agatha Christie's, but I'll take your word that it is evidence of this phenomenon.
Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on July 07, 2007 04:02 PM:
I think there used to be an autobiography of a sorts on hatrack here somewhere. It wasn't detailed novel type stuff, but it was decently long and explained all about his life. Moving and wetting the bed as a child. Then when his kids were born, and how life with Charlie Ben was. And things like that. It was kinda cool. There used to be a really easy link to it, but that was back about five years ago, I haven't been able to find it since then.
Posted by Judas (Member # 7355) on July 08, 2007 02:57 AM:
Dear O-Scott-C -
Ender's Game brought decisive motion to the most pivotal moments of my life..
but..
.. what's with the new book? Christmas and religion on the space station? - I have no doubt that it'll be interesting, and I'm sure I'll be in the group of people who buy it as soon as it's released. But, why not something else? Like a kid who goes to combat school and ends up being in the fleet that Ender commands to fly to their deaths, or the story of that one kid who died in battle school before Bonzo? Gifts? Really?
That's just my view. I'm sure you feeling strongly about yours too.
.. judas
[ July 08, 2007, 03:18 AM: Message edited by: Judas ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on July 08, 2007 03:30 AM:
quote:Originally posted by DDDaysh: I think there used to be an autobiography of a sorts on hatrack here somewhere. It wasn't detailed novel type stuff, but it was decently long and explained all about his life. Moving and wetting the bed as a child. Then when his kids were born, and how life with Charlie Ben was. And things like that. It was kinda cool. There used to be a really easy link to it, but that was back about five years ago, I haven't been able to find it since then.
This? Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on July 08, 2007 04:57 PM:
yeah, guess it wasn't an autobiography after all. It was a long time ago I read it.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on July 08, 2007 05:14 PM:
It may well have been written by him. And even if this iteration was not (I don't know), earlier ones may have been.
Posted by Libbie (Member # 9529) on July 11, 2007 07:52 PM:
quote:Originally posted by Judas: Dear O-Scott-C -
Ender's Game brought decisive motion to the most pivotal moments of my life..
but..
.. what's with the new book? Christmas and religion on the space station? - I have no doubt that it'll be interesting, and I'm sure I'll be in the group of people who buy it as soon as it's released. But, why not something else? Like a kid who goes to combat school and ends up being in the fleet that Ender commands to fly to their deaths, or the story of that one kid who died in battle school before Bonzo? Gifts? Really?
That's just my view. I'm sure you feeling strongly about yours too.
.. judas
Isn't A War of Gifts supposed to be a short story? That was the last I heard. Maybe my info is out of date. Seems like a more reasonable format for such a tale.
Eh - I trust OSC to tell a riveting story. I'm not gonna gripe because he's not telling the stories I think up or that I think would be totally rad - because by the time I finish his book, I usually am 100% satisfied that the story I just read was totally rad.
Can you tell I was born in the 80s? TOTALLY RAD (also tubular).
I'm looking forward to A War of Gifts. I think it'll be a fun glimpse into Battle School life. Sounds like a good read to me.
Posted by Flaming Toad on a Stick (Member # 9302) on July 11, 2007 08:04 PM:
Yay, Libbie's back.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on July 12, 2007 05:11 AM:
Indeed!
Welcome back, Libbie. Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on July 12, 2007 01:07 PM:
I thought War of Gifts was supposed to be a novella, in between a short story and a novel. I believe the term he said publishers use is a "precious book."
Posted by Libbie (Member # 9529) on July 12, 2007 06:47 PM:
Thanks, guys. I won't be around much, though - too busy with work lately (which is good). Maybe when the wedding season winds down in the late fall, I'll be back more often.
I just had to stop in because I've been reading Tales of Alvin Maker again. It got me thinking about this place.
Posted by Blue Pyro (Member # 10675) on July 14, 2007 01:06 AM:
did anyone else notice that he said that osc was a homo-basher (which i find offensive as well as almost everyone else on this thread) and he also "bashed" him for being a mormon?
Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on July 14, 2007 11:27 PM:
it's SARCASM
Posted by Judas (Member # 7355) on July 15, 2007 04:57 AM:
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)